Nobody Wants This on Netflix

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like the only people who like this are not jewish.

The former senior rabbi of Wilshire Boulevard Temple in Los Angeles is not Jewish? You should tell his family.

I was pretty shocked when I found out he consulted because they missed the mark on so many very basic things. My thought after watching was "why didn't they ask a Jewish rabbi for some input?!"

I’m sure the rabbi who consulted was paid…which is likely why he did it.

I’m also sure he provided very good guidance, but the producers went another way to keep it funny.

You can’t take everything literally or over-analyze romantic comedy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like the only people who like this are not jewish.

The former senior rabbi of Wilshire Boulevard Temple in Los Angeles is not Jewish? You should tell his family.

I was pretty shocked when I found out he consulted because they missed the mark on so many very basic things. My thought after watching was "why didn't they ask a Jewish rabbi for some input?!"

I’m sure the rabbi who consulted was paid…which is likely why he did it.

I’m also sure he provided very good guidance, but the producers went another way to keep it funny.

You can’t take everything literally or over-analyze romantic comedy.

You can have a rabbi play basketball on Sunday instead of Saturday. It doesn't take away from the plot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:‘Nobody Wants This’ Pits Jewish Women Against ‘Shiksas.’ Nobody Wins. https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/05/opinion/nobody-wants-this-jewish-gender.html?smid=nytcore-android-share

Geez, summarize it if it’s behind a paywall.

I wish everyone would just realize it’s a show with 1 Jewish guy who dumps his 1 Jewish girlfriend for a new girlfriend who happens to not be Jewish.

It’s not an indictment against Jewish women or non-Jewish women. Religion is just context for the plot.

My feeling was that Erin Foster is a vain nepo baby with probably not the best values (don't know her mom, but her dad is clearly a piece of shit) So the characters, Jewish or not, reflect her own entourage and herself: self-absorbed, superficial, fickle, a little off. She thinks these people are fine, normal humans instead of mostly terrible.

This. Also, here you go, gift link: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/05/opinion/nobody-wants-this-jewish-gender.html?unlocked_article_code=1.QE4.1cvk.-kKslv0UkCF1&smid=url-share

Ou vey.

The NYT opinion piece is a master class in finding ways to be offended when you only view something through your biased lens. And offering up Sandler’s “You are so not invited to my bat mitzvah” and specifically the crazy Sarah Sherman caricature of a rabbi who sings pee-pee songs as a better depiction of Jewish culture underscores the writer’s skewed perception.

As a shiksa married to a Jewish guy from a NY/NJ conservative Jewish family, here’s my take:

- Of course a rabbi would encounter questions/comments/concerns from family if he brought a shiksa around as a rebound from the nice Jewish GF who everyone already accepted as family. (I had a hard time being accepted by my guy’s family and they barely went to temple.)

-Sasha’s bossy wife admittedly started as a trope, but she basically came across as a strong and committed wife/mother struggling with her own MIL issues. ICYMI: MIL issues are universal and transcend race and religion.

-The sports scene was just a mechanism for the shiksa to use booze to break into the group. The silly team name made sense for the movie but their performance wasn’t fostering a stereotype that Jews are bad at sports. I mean, the team almost won after all.

-I think it’s sad if Jewish women think all Jewish men prefer women who aren’t Jewish or don’t look Jewish. I certainly don’t think that’s true. First, all the Jewish women I know from really Jewish families don’t look the same. I know Jewish women who are natural blondes. Lots of men have a type, but types are all over the map. Contrary to popular belief, there is no singular American beauty type. While some men prefer blondes, others prefer brunettes or redheads. And the reality is our country has basically abandoned religion (google the dramatic decrease), so nobody really cares about such things…except perhaps Jews. I get it: thx rabbi who married us alongside a priest made a big deal about why Jewish mothers want their children to have Jewish kids: dwindling numbers jeopardize their community. In fact, the priest made the same comment on behalf of Jews. All this to say, it makes sense for Jewish people to be hypersensitive to this stuff—including dumb shows like this that are just meant for fun.

Honestly, my current opinion is that Sandler must be really powerful in Hollywood since his silly movie didn’t prompt criticism the way this show has.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like the only people who like this are not jewish.

The former senior rabbi of Wilshire Boulevard Temple in Los Angeles is not Jewish? You should tell his family.

I was pretty shocked when I found out he consulted because they missed the mark on so many very basic things. My thought after watching was "why didn't they ask a Jewish rabbi for some input?!"

I’m sure the rabbi who consulted was paid…which is likely why he did it.

I’m also sure he provided very good guidance, but the producers went another way to keep it funny.

You can’t take everything literally or over-analyze romantic comedy.

You can have a rabbi play basketball on Sunday instead of Saturday. It doesn't take away from the plot.

lol

Agreed.

Conservative and reform Jews don’t even have the same limitations as orthodox.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:‘Nobody Wants This’ Pits Jewish Women Against ‘Shiksas.’ Nobody Wins. https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/05/opinion/nobody-wants-this-jewish-gender.html?smid=nytcore-android-share

Geez, summarize it if it’s behind a paywall.

I wish everyone would just realize it’s a show with 1 Jewish guy who dumps his 1 Jewish girlfriend for a new girlfriend who happens to not be Jewish.

It’s not an indictment against Jewish women or non-Jewish women. Religion is just context for the plot.

My feeling was that Erin Foster is a vain nepo baby with probably not the best values (don't know her mom, but her dad is clearly a piece of shit) So the characters, Jewish or not, reflect her own entourage and herself: self-absorbed, superficial, fickle, a little off. She thinks these people are fine, normal humans instead of mostly terrible.

This. Also, here you go, gift link: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/05/opinion/nobody-wants-this-jewish-gender.html?unlocked_article_code=1.QE4.1cvk.-kKslv0UkCF1&smid=url-share

Ou vey.

The NYT opinion piece is a master class in finding ways to be offended when you only view something through your biased lens. And offering up Sandler’s “You are so not invited to my bat mitzvah” and specifically the crazy Sarah Sherman caricature of a rabbi who sings pee-pee songs as a better depiction of Jewish culture underscores the writer’s skewed perception.

As a shiksa married to a Jewish guy from a NY/NJ conservative Jewish family, here’s my take:

- Of course a rabbi would encounter questions/comments/concerns from family if he brought a shiksa around as a rebound from the nice Jewish GF who everyone already accepted as family. (I had a hard time being accepted by my guy’s family and they barely went to temple.)

-Sasha’s bossy wife admittedly started as a trope, but she basically came across as a strong and committed wife/mother struggling with her own MIL issues. ICYMI: MIL issues are universal and transcend race and religion.

-The sports scene was just a mechanism for the shiksa to use booze to break into the group. The silly team name made sense for the movie but their performance wasn’t fostering a stereotype that Jews are bad at sports. I mean, the team almost won after all.

-I think it’s sad if Jewish women think all Jewish men prefer women who aren’t Jewish or don’t look Jewish. I certainly don’t think that’s true. First, all the Jewish women I know from really Jewish families don’t look the same. I know Jewish women who are natural blondes. Lots of men have a type, but types are all over the map. Contrary to popular belief, there is no singular American beauty type. While some men prefer blondes, others prefer brunettes or redheads. And the reality is our country has basically abandoned religion (google the dramatic decrease), so nobody really cares about such things…except perhaps Jews. I get it: thx rabbi who married us alongside a priest made a big deal about why Jewish mothers want their children to have Jewish kids: dwindling numbers jeopardize their community. In fact, the priest made the same comment on behalf of Jews. All this to say, it makes sense for Jewish people to be hypersensitive to this stuff—including dumb shows like this that are just meant for fun.

Honestly, my current opinion is that Sandler must be really powerful in Hollywood since his silly movie didn’t prompt criticism the way this show has.

Completely agree with your take as a shiksa married to a NY Jew! So much is about cross-cultural relationships of all types and how there are really more similarities than differences in our worlds. My husband thought it was fun and funny and he’s like many Jews, not afraid to laugh at things even sometimes those that are at his own expense.

[Anonymous]

Finished the series last night.

What did I take away from this?

Erin Foster appreciahes many of the spiritual and traditional elements of Judaism. But it’s pretty clear she has a lot of trauma related to being accepted by the Jewish women in her husband’s life. Foster really did Jewish women dirty in this portrayal - she clearly has a bone to pick.

You also need to remember that the vast majority of people watching this series have ZERO Jewish people in their personal lives. So this series - warts and all - is forming their views of Judaism, their traditions, family life, etc. This is a very skewed portrayal and, frankly, kind of worrying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Finished the series last night.

What did I take away from this?

Erin Foster appreciahes many of the spiritual and traditional elements of Judaism. But it’s pretty clear she has a lot of trauma related to being accepted by the Jewish women in her husband’s life. Foster really did Jewish women dirty in this portrayal - she clearly has a bone to pick.

You also need to remember that the vast majority of people watching this series have ZERO Jewish people in their personal lives. So this series - warts and all - is forming their views of Judaism, their traditions, family life, etc. This is a very skewed portrayal and, frankly, kind of worrying.

Disagree.

Quick show of hands: who felt immediately accepted by their BF’s mom? Anyone?

Now let’s just hear from those dating a Jewish guy (regardless of your religion). Anyone?

Now let’s hear from the shiksas: how long until your MIL accepted you? How was the wedding planning?

Life is messy. Plenty of moms are difficult or perceived as difficult by the GF regardless of religion. It’s a thing.

Regardless, there’s no hook for a show without conflict. Duh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finished the series last night.

What did I take away from this?

Erin Foster appreciahes many of the spiritual and traditional elements of Judaism. But it’s pretty clear she has a lot of trauma related to being accepted by the Jewish women in her husband’s life. Foster really did Jewish women dirty in this portrayal - she clearly has a bone to pick.

You also need to remember that the vast majority of people watching this series have ZERO Jewish people in their personal lives. So this series - warts and all - is forming their views of Judaism, their traditions, family life, etc. This is a very skewed portrayal and, frankly, kind of worrying.

Disagree.

Quick show of hands: who felt immediately accepted by their BF’s mom? Anyone?

Now let’s just hear from those dating a Jewish guy (regardless of your religion). Anyone?

Now let’s hear from the shiksas: how long until your MIL accepted you? How was the wedding planning?

Life is messy. Plenty of moms are difficult or perceived as difficult by the GF regardless of religion. It’s a thing.

Regardless, there’s no hook for a show without conflict. Duh.

I actually felt completely accepted by my husband’s mother from day 1. I am Jewish and they are not, if it makes a difference.

[Anonymous]

The reality is this show could have been made with any religious or cultural or racial groups.

I observed the following IRL:

-Chinese friend’s entire family didn’t attend her wedding because they were outraged that she was marrying a non-Chinese man. Same religion, same advanced level of education, and the guy is awesome on all levels. Didn’t matter. Pretty sure we’ve seen movies about how this plays out in Asian culture, right?

-A white friend’s family threatened to cut her off when she got engaged to a black man. His family wasn’t any better: his family was blatantly hostile to her the first time he brought her to a family party. She wasn’t deterred despite leaving in tears. She kept showing up and being kind, and they eventually came around. Ditto for her family.

-A Muslim friend’s family did cut her off (stopped paying her tuition) when she got engaged to a catholic white American. She was American too btw—despite her American-born parents considering themselves as “Insert other Muslim country here.” That marriage was a disaster thanks to the unwillingness of her family to accept him. She caved eventually and her parents rewarded her with a new life in another city: fancy new place, new wardrobe, new car, etc.

I could go on, but I’ll stop here. As a shiksa whose future MIL enlisted the help of relatives to try to dissuade us from marrying (I won’t say how, but it was heavily orchestrated and blatant), I chalk it up to loss of control and fear of the unknown that some rigid older women have. It’s a thing, which is why the evil MIL stereotypes exist in every culture, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finished the series last night.

What did I take away from this?

Erin Foster appreciahes many of the spiritual and traditional elements of Judaism. But it’s pretty clear she has a lot of trauma related to being accepted by the Jewish women in her husband’s life. Foster really did Jewish women dirty in this portrayal - she clearly has a bone to pick.

You also need to remember that the vast majority of people watching this series have ZERO Jewish people in their personal lives. So this series - warts and all - is forming their views of Judaism, their traditions, family life, etc. This is a very skewed portrayal and, frankly, kind of worrying.

Disagree.

Quick show of hands: who felt immediately accepted by their BF’s mom? Anyone?

Now let’s just hear from those dating a Jewish guy (regardless of your religion). Anyone?

Now let’s hear from the shiksas: how long until your MIL accepted you? How was the wedding planning?

Life is messy. Plenty of moms are difficult or perceived as difficult by the GF regardless of religion. It’s a thing.

Regardless, there’s no hook for a show without conflict. Duh.

I actually felt completely accepted by my husband’s mother from day 1. I am Jewish and they are not, if it makes a difference.

Then you are lucky.

When did you start dating? I think it’s better in the last 10 or 20 years than it was before.

Is your MIL American? White? Religious? That matters, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Finished the series last night.

What did I take away from this?

Erin Foster appreciahes many of the spiritual and traditional elements of Judaism. But it’s pretty clear she has a lot of trauma related to being accepted by the Jewish women in her husband’s life. Foster really did Jewish women dirty in this portrayal - she clearly has a bone to pick.

You also need to remember that the vast majority of people watching this series have ZERO Jewish people in their personal lives. So this series - warts and all - is forming their views of Judaism, their traditions, family life, etc. This is a very skewed portrayal and, frankly, kind of worrying.

Do you think all Tyler Perry/Medea movies accurately portray black people…and viewers don’t realize it’s just humor baked into stereotypes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finished the series last night.

What did I take away from this?

Erin Foster appreciahes many of the spiritual and traditional elements of Judaism. But it’s pretty clear she has a lot of trauma related to being accepted by the Jewish women in her husband’s life. Foster really did Jewish women dirty in this portrayal - she clearly has a bone to pick.

You also need to remember that the vast majority of people watching this series have ZERO Jewish people in their personal lives. So this series - warts and all - is forming their views of Judaism, their traditions, family life, etc. This is a very skewed portrayal and, frankly, kind of worrying.

Disagree.

Quick show of hands: who felt immediately accepted by their BF’s mom? Anyone?

Now let’s just hear from those dating a Jewish guy (regardless of your religion). Anyone?

Now let’s hear from the shiksas: how long until your MIL accepted you? How was the wedding planning?

Life is messy. Plenty of moms are difficult or perceived as difficult by the GF regardless of religion. It’s a thing.

Regardless, there’s no hook for a show without conflict. Duh.

I actually felt completely accepted by my husband’s mother from day 1. I am Jewish and they are not, if it makes a difference.

I do think I the direction of this divide makes a difference. (I had many Jewish friends growing up in NY, and only they had a preference for their future spouse’s religion. None of my gentile fiends included religion on their wish list. )

[Anonymous]

I had a huge crush on a Jewish guy I dated in my twenties. He shared with me early on that his grandmother made him promise on her deathbed that he would marry a Jewishwoman.

I felt that was an unfair pressure/guilt trip to instill in her young grandson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finished the series last night.

What did I take away from this?

Erin Foster appreciahes many of the spiritual and traditional elements of Judaism. But it’s pretty clear she has a lot of trauma related to being accepted by the Jewish women in her husband’s life. Foster really did Jewish women dirty in this portrayal - she clearly has a bone to pick.

You also need to remember that the vast majority of people watching this series have ZERO Jewish people in their personal lives. So this series - warts and all - is forming their views of Judaism, their traditions, family life, etc. This is a very skewed portrayal and, frankly, kind of worrying.

Disagree.

Quick show of hands: who felt immediately accepted by their BF’s mom? Anyone?

Now let’s just hear from those dating a Jewish guy (regardless of your religion). Anyone?

Now let’s hear from the shiksas: how long until your MIL accepted you? How was the wedding planning?

Life is messy. Plenty of moms are difficult or perceived as difficult by the GF regardless of religion. It’s a thing.

Regardless, there’s no hook for a show without conflict. Duh.

I actually felt completely accepted by my husband’s mother from day 1. I am Jewish and they are not, if it makes a difference.

I do think I the direction of this divide makes a difference. (I had many Jewish friends growing up in NY, and only they had a preference for their future spouse’s religion. None of my gentile fiends included religion on their wish list. )

Exactly. Anyone surprised?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love it, binged over the weekend. My mid 40s daughter also loved it. We have no preconceived notions about Jewish people so it's all new to us, plus with the generally low quality of sit coms and rom coms we'll tolerate some stereotyping and stretches of reality.

Overall, A+

Then you must be the intended audience. This felt like a Jewish primer in different places. I have Jewish in-laws (not my direct in-laws, my DH was the product of an interfaith marriage) and I have learned a lot of small things from them. However, I knew what a shiksa, Shabbat, etc. were before ever being married. Defining everything felt pedantic.

Super cute though!

This was weird to me too. How do you live in a large coastal city and not know a lot of Jewish people and be familiar with some basic Yiddish and the central Jewish traditions. I am not Jewish and didn't marry in but I've been to plenty of Shabbat dinners and attended Jewish weddings and know what shiksa and goyim and other common yiddish words mean. Just like I also know what baby hairs are and some basic things about black hair care even though I've personally never needed that info for myself. I thought that this was just common knowledge if you live in a reasonably diverse community.

The Jewish population is 0.2% of the world and 1,8% in the US.
Its unreasonable to think that the remaining 98.2% of the US would be familiar with Yiddish words/phrases and traditions- exception would be dense enclaves in coastal cities but many of those enclaves are insular. Black people are 12.4% of the US population and there is more intermixing so yeahhhhh these are ridiculous comparisons.

She's from LA though. A girl raised in Sherman Oaks would have had some Jewish kids around. I think not hearing of shabbat or the word shalom is very very weird. Yiddish words not so much.

This. If she were from Oklahoma or Louisiana or New Mexico these plot points would have been believable. But it's pretty silly for a 40 yr old woman from LA who works *in media* to have what appears to be NO exposure to Jewish culture. It strains credulity.

Good point.