Any other moms out just not order when you eat with your family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate this thread. I guarantee you your husband doesn’t do this. Why is he deserving of food but you aren’t? Thank you for my daily reminder of how important feminism still is.

No, I absolutely do not do this and I think it sends a toxic message to your children, especially daughters.

This X1000

[Anonymous]

This is so ridiculous I'm not sure it's real.

[Anonymous]

Why not go out for family-style pizza, Mediterranean, BBQ, or Chinese food? Less expensive and nobody has to wait for scraps.

Do your kids only eat burgers and nuggets or something?

[Anonymous]

I absolutely do not do this either. Enjoy a meal with and in front of your kids. It didn't send a good message to me when my mother would not order fries because she was trying to be "good" and then scavenge fries from us kids or my dad. Because she clearly wanted fries!!! which is FINE! We didn't eat fries very often, would have been way more healthy for her to just order fries with the rest of us and eat them happily. If you're worried about food waste, bring leftovers home. It is nice to have the next day.

If i'm worried about amount of food I have the kids split. Sometimes they get their own, if it is a place they like similar things then sometimes a split. I know you said your kids like different things, you likely do too so get your own as well just like you do for them.

[Anonymous]

My husband sometimes does this but it's to avoid wasting food, not money. If the kids actually do wind up finishing, he isn't going to leave the restaurant hungry. He will just order something for himself.

There are good reasons to do what you're doing, OP, but you should never leave a restaurant hungry so that your husband and kids can eat their fill. Your needs matter! And honestly your husband and kids will respect you more if you don't put your needs last. If you are always putting them last, they will do the same.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I sometimes did this because I am cheap, picky, and don’t like to see food wasted. I don’t think it’s a big deal. Now that my kids are older and more likely to finish their meals, I rarely skip ordering. I don’t see why people need to shame others so much.

The shamers in this thread are most likely fat gluttons who are justifying their over spending and over eating as being… feminism?

So, you think that people who actually eat dinner are “over eaters” and “fat?” But, you’re the one without weird food hangups?

No I think the people shaming OP are fat over eaters. Work on your reading comprehension.

Disordered behavior should be described as such. It does no one any good to pretend that OP is healthy and okay. She's not. It's like calling it "shaming" to describe a tumor as cancer.

It’s not disordered just because some over dramatic idiots could never dream of NOT wasting food and money every time they belly up to the trough.

I don’t think OP’s choices are disordered, just set a bad example for her kids. That being said, all the comments saying it is disordered eating have been relatively kind and not shaming. Your comments on other posters however…

What world are you living in where it is KIND to tell a mother that she has an eating disorder, is acting like a martyr, and is a bad mother (sorry, setting a bad example for her children)?

NP. It is literally modeling for your kids that mom doesn’t choose or get a full entree; mom gets what others pick, and she gets the scraps.

It is literally modeling that the family doesn’t waste food or money, and mom is smart and savvy.

It’s neither smart nor savvy to have 1/2 a cheeseburger and one chicken tender for dinner as a 36yo woman when what you really want—and what would be healthier for you—is the salmon, or the salad with goat cheese, or the gnocchi with brown sage butter.

Gnocchi with brown sage butter is very yummy but certainly not ‘good for you’ or even better for you than someone’s discarded cheeseburger piece. Hilarious but true

What’s “hilarious” is you thinking that preservative-filled, ultra-processed, sodium-laden chicken tenders or a Sysco burger are “better” for you than house-made, fresh gnocchi. Not everything is about calories, you know. Freshly made food vs. processed frozen Sysco crap. And you think the cheeseburger is healthier? LOL.

You have no idea where this persons burger is from. This is insane. Gnocchi is fine but stop positioning it as a health food. Insane line of argument

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I sometimes did this because I am cheap, picky, and don’t like to see food wasted. I don’t think it’s a big deal. Now that my kids are older and more likely to finish their meals, I rarely skip ordering. I don’t see why people need to shame others so much.

The shamers in this thread are most likely fat gluttons who are justifying their over spending and over eating as being… feminism?

So, you think that people who actually eat dinner are “over eaters” and “fat?” But, you’re the one without weird food hangups?

No I think the people shaming OP are fat over eaters. Work on your reading comprehension.

Disordered behavior should be described as such. It does no one any good to pretend that OP is healthy and okay. She's not. It's like calling it "shaming" to describe a tumor as cancer.

It’s not disordered just because some over dramatic idiots could never dream of NOT wasting food and money every time they belly up to the trough.

I don’t think OP’s choices are disordered, just set a bad example for her kids. That being said, all the comments saying it is disordered eating have been relatively kind and not shaming. Your comments on other posters however…

What world are you living in where it is KIND to tell a mother that she has an eating disorder, is acting like a martyr, and is a bad mother (sorry, setting a bad example for her children)?

NP. It is literally modeling for your kids that mom doesn’t choose or get a full entree; mom gets what others pick, and she gets the scraps.

It is literally modeling that the family doesn’t waste food or money, and mom is smart and savvy.

No, there are two ways to model that.

One is to eat at home.

The other is to order an amount of food that's appropriate for the whole family, reflects the whole family's tastes, and that the whole family can eat at the same time. It might mean sharing meals, or getting an appetizer instead of entree, or whatever, but it doesn't mean that some people choose and eat first and other people don't choose and eat the scraps. That communicates all kinds of wrong things.

Ever heard of different strokes for different folks? If that’s the takeaway your family would have then absolutely don’t do it. My family just thinks I’m quirky and cheap (both of which are true).

No, your way is ridiculous. How uncomfortable everyone must be watching you stare at their plates with big eyes hoping they will save a bite for you. Most people wait until everyone has been served and then all eat together. But instead you're like Oliver Twist begging for more. So quirky.

Right?! I can’t even imagine what thought process would make someone act like this and think it’s normal. And all the comments shaming moms who order their own plate and eat with the rest of the family. This is wild.

No one is shaming moms who eat with their family. Stop with the manufactured outrage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you order what you want, tell the kids they don’t get to choose/order, and that they are expected to eat from whatever scraps you don’t eat after you’ve finished? See how bad that sounds?

Her kids aren’t ordering her to eat their scraps. She is choosing to do so because that’s what she prefers to do. So your scenario is in no way comparable.

It is shocking how triggered some people are at the thought of just waiting to eat the food that you know is going to be left. I think ya’ll are projecting your own weird issues around food onto OP.

“I don’t need anything. I will just have your leftovers.” Is classic covert narcissist behavior. And there is always a very weird dance going on between the husband and wife when one is a covert narcissist.

How is that narcissistic? Not everything is narcissism. Sometimes people just don’t like food waste. Have you googled narcissism?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you order what you want, tell the kids they don’t get to choose/order, and that they are expected to eat from whatever scraps you don’t eat after you’ve finished? See how bad that sounds?

Her kids aren’t ordering her to eat their scraps. She is choosing to do so because that’s what she prefers to do. So your scenario is in no way comparable.

It is shocking how triggered some people are at the thought of just waiting to eat the food that you know is going to be left. I think ya’ll are projecting your own weird issues around food onto OP.

“I don’t need anything. I will just have your leftovers.” Is classic covert narcissist behavior. And there is always a very weird dance going on between the husband and wife when one is a covert narcissist.

How is that narcissistic? Not everything is narcissism. Sometimes people just don’t like food waste. Have you googled narcissism?

+1 What the hell. Both my dad and husband do what OP does (except they don't go hungry if there isn't enough food, that's really sad).

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I sometimes did this because I am cheap, picky, and don’t like to see food wasted. I don’t think it’s a big deal. Now that my kids are older and more likely to finish their meals, I rarely skip ordering. I don’t see why people need to shame others so much.

The shamers in this thread are most likely fat gluttons who are justifying their over spending and over eating as being… feminism?

So, you think that people who actually eat dinner are “over eaters” and “fat?” But, you’re the one without weird food hangups?

No I think the people shaming OP are fat over eaters. Work on your reading comprehension.

Disordered behavior should be described as such. It does no one any good to pretend that OP is healthy and okay. She's not. It's like calling it "shaming" to describe a tumor as cancer.

It’s not disordered just because some over dramatic idiots could never dream of NOT wasting food and money every time they belly up to the trough.

I don’t think OP’s choices are disordered, just set a bad example for her kids. That being said, all the comments saying it is disordered eating have been relatively kind and not shaming. Your comments on other posters however…

What world are you living in where it is KIND to tell a mother that she has an eating disorder, is acting like a martyr, and is a bad mother (sorry, setting a bad example for her children)?

NP. It is literally modeling for your kids that mom doesn’t choose or get a full entree; mom gets what others pick, and she gets the scraps.

It is literally modeling that the family doesn’t waste food or money, and mom is smart and savvy.

It’s neither smart nor savvy to have 1/2 a cheeseburger and one chicken tender for dinner as a 36yo woman when what you really want—and what would be healthier for you—is the salmon, or the salad with goat cheese, or the gnocchi with brown sage butter.

But what I really want is to make sure all the food I paid for gets eaten. And I like cheeseburgers and chicken tenders. So it’s a win win for me. Smart, savvy, satisfied.

Ah. You have the palate of a toddler. Got it.

You realize there are many posters who do this right? Prob for many reasons. Why are you so triggered by this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How can OPs family have large appetites such that there is hardly any food left for OP yet OP is concerned about "waste"? OP doesn't make a lot of sense which is what people are reacting to. Oh, and also OP just seems extremely cheap. Stop eating out so much if you can't afford it and it puts a crimp in the grocery budget.

Op - there are many repliers on this thread.
There is always more than enough food left for me and I dont wait to eat it - I just rarely choose what I would naturally order bc the kids are permanently in denial that they won’t eat anything.

Maybe it’s cheap but if I save $600 in a year that way, imagine I put it on nvidia in 2022 (which I did) - it turns into many thousands.

I just truly am uncomfortable with throwing money away when I know everyone will have enough. If we wouldn’t then I wouldn’t do it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can OPs family have large appetites such that there is hardly any food left for OP yet OP is concerned about "waste"? OP doesn't make a lot of sense which is what people are reacting to. Oh, and also OP just seems extremely cheap. Stop eating out so much if you can't afford it and it puts a crimp in the grocery budget.

Op - there are many repliers on this thread.
There is always more than enough food left for me and I dont wait to eat it - I just rarely choose what I would naturally order bc the kids are permanently in denial that they won’t eat anything.

Maybe it’s cheap but if I save $600 in a year that way, imagine I put it on nvidia in 2022 (which I did) - it turns into many thousands.

I just truly am uncomfortable with throwing money away when I know everyone will have enough. If we wouldn’t then I wouldn’t do it

So you don't leave the restaurant hungry? If that's the case I don't think that what you're doing is probably valid. Hopefully you're also going out sometimes without the kids so you can order what you want. And just make sure that your kids know that sometimes your preferences and needs come before theirs (like if you're deciding where to go on a trip, what movie to watch, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can OPs family have large appetites such that there is hardly any food left for OP yet OP is concerned about "waste"? OP doesn't make a lot of sense which is what people are reacting to. Oh, and also OP just seems extremely cheap. Stop eating out so much if you can't afford it and it puts a crimp in the grocery budget.

Op - there are many repliers on this thread.
There is always more than enough food left for me and I dont wait to eat it - I just rarely choose what I would naturally order bc the kids are permanently in denial that they won’t eat anything.

Maybe it’s cheap but if I save $600 in a year that way, imagine I put it on nvidia in 2022 (which I did) - it turns into many thousands.

I just truly am uncomfortable with throwing money away when I know everyone will have enough. If we wouldn’t then I wouldn’t do it

You keep changing what you are saying.

If you're asking if other people share meals with their kids, then yes, that's super common. That's completely different from what you described in your OP.

[Anonymous]

Serious question, OP. How did/do you eat at restaurants before you had kids or if you are out without your kids with only other adults?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you order what you want, tell the kids they don’t get to choose/order, and that they are expected to eat from whatever scraps you don’t eat after you’ve finished? See how bad that sounds?

Her kids aren’t ordering her to eat their scraps. She is choosing to do so because that’s what she prefers to do. So your scenario is in no way comparable.

It is shocking how triggered some people are at the thought of just waiting to eat the food that you know is going to be left. I think ya’ll are projecting your own weird issues around food onto OP.

“I don’t need anything. I will just have your leftovers.” Is classic covert narcissist behavior. And there is always a very weird dance going on between the husband and wife when one is a covert narcissist.

How is that narcissistic? Not everything is narcissism. Sometimes people just don’t like food waste. Have you googled narcissism?

Who has wasted food? If you don't take your leftovers home to eat later that's on you. Why do you do that?