Any other moms out just not order when you eat with your family?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you order what you want, tell the kids they don’t get to choose/order, and that they are expected to eat from whatever scraps you don’t eat after you’ve finished? See how bad that sounds?


Her kids aren’t ordering her to eat their scraps. She is choosing to do so because that’s what she prefers to do. So your scenario is in no way comparable.

It is shocking how triggered some people are at the thought of just waiting to eat the food that you know is going to be left. I think ya’ll are projecting your own weird issues around food onto OP.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you order what you want, tell the kids they don’t get to choose/order, and that they are expected to eat from whatever scraps you don’t eat after you’ve finished? See how bad that sounds?


Her kids aren’t ordering her to eat their scraps. She is choosing to do so because that’s what she prefers to do. So your scenario is in no way comparable.

It is shocking how triggered some people are at the thought of just waiting to eat the food that you know is going to be left. I think ya’ll are projecting your own weird issues around food onto OP.


Except, if she's hungry and the kids are too, you end up with a situation like this, literally the third reply to this thread:
"I do but it ends up being embarrassing because I often AM hungry and I do want food but my kids and DH are massive eaters. It’s frustrating because even a trip to Taco Bell costs like $40. I end up ordering something small for myself and then hoping my kids don’t finish their food. The whole thing is just kinda sad."
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you order what you want, tell the kids they don’t get to choose/order, and that they are expected to eat from whatever scraps you don’t eat after you’ve finished? See how bad that sounds?


Her kids aren’t ordering her to eat their scraps. She is choosing to do so because that’s what she prefers to do. So your scenario is in no way comparable.

It is shocking how triggered some people are at the thought of just waiting to eat the food that you know is going to be left. I think ya’ll are projecting your own weird issues around food onto OP.


Except, if she's hungry and the kids are too, you end up with a situation like this, literally the third reply to this thread:
"I do but it ends up being embarrassing because I often AM hungry and I do want food but my kids and DH are massive eaters. It’s frustrating because even a trip to Taco Bell costs like $40. I end up ordering something small for myself and then hoping my kids don’t finish their food. The whole thing is just kinda sad."


Ok I knew inflation was hitting people hard, but dang, this is just sad.

If I was so hard up that I couldn’t order food for myself, my family would just not order out. I find it interesting that this thread is asking about moms who do this because no man would ever scavenge off his kids’ plate. It’s one thing if you’re not hungry or otherwise into the food served at the restaurant.

But being hungry and just … being the only one to not order food while the rest of your family picks whatever they want is depressing and signals how much you are valued.

Also, I don’t get the food waste argument. Does no one take home leftovers? I love having a second meal to look forward to the next day.
Anonymous
I do this when we eat out because we’re out and about and need food. As in, the place isn’t great it’s just there. I’ll get something small and then eat what the kids leave behind. If we’re going out to eat because it’s a restaurant we’re excited about we probably don’t have the kids with us anyway, but if we do, I’d get my own meal.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you order what you want, tell the kids they don’t get to choose/order, and that they are expected to eat from whatever scraps you don’t eat after you’ve finished? See how bad that sounds?


Her kids aren’t ordering her to eat their scraps. She is choosing to do so because that’s what she prefers to do. So your scenario is in no way comparable.

It is shocking how triggered some people are at the thought of just waiting to eat the food that you know is going to be left. I think ya’ll are projecting your own weird issues around food onto OP.


Part of the issue (and I see this a lot), is that parents give kids so many snacks all day long that their kids are barely hungry at meals and leave a lot of food. I always thought this was so silly and wasteful. This whole “food you know is going to be left” was never a thing for my kids at pretty much any age. They ate their meal because they hadn’t had 12 afternoon snacks. If they weren’t going to be hungry enough for whatever the meal was we would have adjusted our ordering and split things upfront.

I’m curious about when OP hosts a party or guests. Do you get less food than you think you need because you can’t bear the thought of leftovers or “food waste?” I’ve heard people say things like “we had just enough pizza, every slice was eaten” and I’m personally horrified because to me, that means some guests were probably still hungry and how would you know if you ran out and your guests were politely not saying they would have had more?
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:I sometimes did this because I am cheap, picky, and don’t like to see food wasted. I don’t think it’s a big deal. Now that my kids are older and more likely to finish their meals, I rarely skip ordering. I don’t see why people need to shame others so much.


The shamers in this thread are most likely fat gluttons who are justifying their over spending and over eating as being… feminism?


So, you think that people who actually eat dinner are “over eaters” and “fat?” But, you’re the one without weird food hangups?


No I think the people shaming OP are fat over eaters. Work on your reading comprehension.


Disordered behavior should be described as such. It does no one any good to pretend that OP is healthy and okay. She's not. It's like calling it "shaming" to describe a tumor as cancer.


It’s not disordered just because some over dramatic idiots could never dream of NOT wasting food and money every time they belly up to the trough.


I don’t think OP’s choices are disordered, just set a bad example for her kids. That being said, all the comments saying it is disordered eating have been relatively kind and not shaming. Your comments on other posters however…


What world are you living in where it is KIND to tell a mother that she has an eating disorder, is acting like a martyr, and is a bad mother (sorry, setting a bad example for her children)?


NP. It is literally modeling for your kids that mom doesn’t choose or get a full entree; mom gets what others pick, and she gets the scraps.


It is literally modeling that the family doesn’t waste food or money, and mom is smart and savvy.


No, there are two ways to model that.

One is to eat at home.

The other is to order an amount of food that's appropriate for the whole family, reflects the whole family's tastes, and that the whole family can eat at the same time. It might mean sharing meals, or getting an appetizer instead of entree, or whatever, but it doesn't mean that some people choose and eat first and other people don't choose and eat the scraps. That communicates all kinds of wrong things.


Ever heard of different strokes for different folks? If that’s the takeaway your family would have then absolutely don’t do it. My family just thinks I’m quirky and cheap (both of which are true).


No, your way is ridiculous. How uncomfortable everyone must be watching you stare at their plates with big eyes hoping they will save a bite for you. Most people wait until everyone has been served and then all eat together. But instead you're like Oliver Twist begging for more. So quirky.


Right?! I can’t even imagine what thought process would make someone act like this and think it’s normal. And all the comments shaming moms who order their own plate and eat with the rest of the family. This is wild.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you order what you want, tell the kids they don’t get to choose/order, and that they are expected to eat from whatever scraps you don’t eat after you’ve finished? See how bad that sounds?


Her kids aren’t ordering her to eat their scraps. She is choosing to do so because that’s what she prefers to do. So your scenario is in no way comparable.

It is shocking how triggered some people are at the thought of just waiting to eat the food that you know is going to be left. I think ya’ll are projecting your own weird issues around food onto OP.


“I don’t need anything. I will just have your leftovers.” Is classic covert narcissist behavior. And there is always a very weird dance going on between the husband and wife when one is a covert narcissist.
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I sometimes did this because I am cheap, picky, and don’t like to see food wasted. I don’t think it’s a big deal. Now that my kids are older and more likely to finish their meals, I rarely skip ordering. I don’t see why people need to shame others so much.


The shamers in this thread are most likely fat gluttons who are justifying their over spending and over eating as being… feminism?


So, you think that people who actually eat dinner are “over eaters” and “fat?” But, you’re the one without weird food hangups?


No I think the people shaming OP are fat over eaters. Work on your reading comprehension.


Disordered behavior should be described as such. It does no one any good to pretend that OP is healthy and okay. She's not. It's like calling it "shaming" to describe a tumor as cancer.


It’s not disordered just because some over dramatic idiots could never dream of NOT wasting food and money every time they belly up to the trough.


I don’t think OP’s choices are disordered, just set a bad example for her kids. That being said, all the comments saying it is disordered eating have been relatively kind and not shaming. Your comments on other posters however…


What world are you living in where it is KIND to tell a mother that she has an eating disorder, is acting like a martyr, and is a bad mother (sorry, setting a bad example for her children)?


NP. It is literally modeling for your kids that mom doesn’t choose or get a full entree; mom gets what others pick, and she gets the scraps.


It is literally modeling that the family doesn’t waste food or money, and mom is smart and savvy.


It’s neither smart nor savvy to have 1/2 a cheeseburger and one chicken tender for dinner as a 36yo woman when what you really want—and what would be healthier for you—is the salmon, or the salad with goat cheese, or the gnocchi with brown sage butter.


But what I really want is to make sure all the food I paid for gets eaten. And I like cheeseburgers and chicken tenders. So it’s a win win for me. Smart, savvy, satisfied.


Then why don’t you save the food for the next day’s lunch, for the kids or for you? Then you can have a meal that maybe has some fresh greens, some vegetables, and some kind of care in preparation beyond quickly heating up something off the Sysco truck? If you’re going to pay a mark-up for food, your kids might as well enjoy it twice.

So you’ve never been an adventurous eater? If not, I guess this is a great way to cover up for pickiness as an adult…
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I sometimes did this because I am cheap, picky, and don’t like to see food wasted. I don’t think it’s a big deal. Now that my kids are older and more likely to finish their meals, I rarely skip ordering. I don’t see why people need to shame others so much.


The shamers in this thread are most likely fat gluttons who are justifying their over spending and over eating as being… feminism?


So, you think that people who actually eat dinner are “over eaters” and “fat?” But, you’re the one without weird food hangups?


No I think the people shaming OP are fat over eaters. Work on your reading comprehension.


Disordered behavior should be described as such. It does no one any good to pretend that OP is healthy and okay. She's not. It's like calling it "shaming" to describe a tumor as cancer.


It’s not disordered just because some over dramatic idiots could never dream of NOT wasting food and money every time they belly up to the trough.


I don’t think OP’s choices are disordered, just set a bad example for her kids. That being said, all the comments saying it is disordered eating have been relatively kind and not shaming. Your comments on other posters however…


What world are you living in where it is KIND to tell a mother that she has an eating disorder, is acting like a martyr, and is a bad mother (sorry, setting a bad example for her children)?


NP. It is literally modeling for your kids that mom doesn’t choose or get a full entree; mom gets what others pick, and she gets the scraps.


It is literally modeling that the family doesn’t waste food or money, and mom is smart and savvy.


It’s neither smart nor savvy to have 1/2 a cheeseburger and one chicken tender for dinner as a 36yo woman when what you really want—and what would be healthier for you—is the salmon, or the salad with goat cheese, or the gnocchi with brown sage butter.


Gnocchi with brown sage butter is very yummy but certainly not ‘good for you’ or even better for you than someone’s discarded cheeseburger piece. Hilarious but true


What’s “hilarious” is you thinking that preservative-filled, ultra-processed, sodium-laden chicken tenders or a Sysco burger are “better” for you than house-made, fresh gnocchi. Not everything is about calories, you know. Freshly made food vs. processed frozen Sysco crap. And you think the cheeseburger is healthier? LOL.
Anonymous
I wonder if I am older than most people replying to this thread. Because my first thought is, why are you eating out so much. For me growing up (in a middle to upper middle class family), we rarely ate out. No stopping for McDs after every soccer game. No dinner in downtown Bethesda every Sat night. No ordering pizza every week. My parents both worked white collar professional jobs and I’m sure it was no picnic to make dinner every night but their mentality was that eating out was for special occasions and they passed that mentality onto me. I think many people raised in the 1970-80s (and earlier) experienced this.

My kids are teens now but I went through all the years of racing from baseball to soccer to swim etc on the weekends and I’d always pack our lunches for those hectic days and it would sit in the car in a cooler waiting for us to eat from A to B. On weeknights when spouse and I are exhausted and dont want to face cooking, we have our repetoire of fast meals or will order in but when we do that we do it from a place where we all like the food. We save dinihg out for occasions.

Chicken nuggets and fries are so easy and cheaper to purchase at the grocery store - if your kids are of an age to be eating them, stick to eating at home and save going out for date nights or nights with orher adults.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I sometimes did this because I am cheap, picky, and don’t like to see food wasted. I don’t think it’s a big deal. Now that my kids are older and more likely to finish their meals, I rarely skip ordering. I don’t see why people need to shame others so much.


The shamers in this thread are most likely fat gluttons who are justifying their over spending and over eating as being… feminism?


So, you think that people who actually eat dinner are “over eaters” and “fat?” But, you’re the one without weird food hangups?


No I think the people shaming OP are fat over eaters. Work on your reading comprehension.


Disordered behavior should be described as such. It does no one any good to pretend that OP is healthy and okay. She's not. It's like calling it "shaming" to describe a tumor as cancer.


It’s not disordered just because some over dramatic idiots could never dream of NOT wasting food and money every time they belly up to the trough.


I don’t think OP’s choices are disordered, just set a bad example for her kids. That being said, all the comments saying it is disordered eating have been relatively kind and not shaming. Your comments on other posters however…


What world are you living in where it is KIND to tell a mother that she has an eating disorder, is acting like a martyr, and is a bad mother (sorry, setting a bad example for her children)?


NP. It is literally modeling for your kids that mom doesn’t choose or get a full entree; mom gets what others pick, and she gets the scraps.


It is literally modeling that the family doesn’t waste food or money, and mom is smart and savvy.


It’s fine to be thrifty, but not at the expense of only one gender. Why can’t your husband be the one to eat table scraps sometimes?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I sometimes did this because I am cheap, picky, and don’t like to see food wasted. I don’t think it’s a big deal. Now that my kids are older and more likely to finish their meals, I rarely skip ordering. I don’t see why people need to shame others so much.


The shamers in this thread are most likely fat gluttons who are justifying their over spending and over eating as being… feminism?


So, you think that people who actually eat dinner are “over eaters” and “fat?” But, you’re the one without weird food hangups?


No I think the people shaming OP are fat over eaters. Work on your reading comprehension.


Disordered behavior should be described as such. It does no one any good to pretend that OP is healthy and okay. She's not. It's like calling it "shaming" to describe a tumor as cancer.


It’s not disordered just because some over dramatic idiots could never dream of NOT wasting food and money every time they belly up to the trough.


I don’t think OP’s choices are disordered, just set a bad example for her kids. That being said, all the comments saying it is disordered eating have been relatively kind and not shaming. Your comments on other posters however…


What world are you living in where it is KIND to tell a mother that she has an eating disorder, is acting like a martyr, and is a bad mother (sorry, setting a bad example for her children)?


NP. It is literally modeling for your kids that mom doesn’t choose or get a full entree; mom gets what others pick, and she gets the scraps.


It is literally modeling that the family doesn’t waste food or money, and mom is smart and savvy.


It’s neither smart nor savvy to have 1/2 a cheeseburger and one chicken tender for dinner as a 36yo woman when what you really want—and what would be healthier for you—is the salmon, or the salad with goat cheese, or the gnocchi with brown sage butter.


But what I really want is to make sure all the food I paid for gets eaten. And I like cheeseburgers and chicken tenders. So it’s a win win for me. Smart, savvy, satisfied.


Ah. You have the palate of a toddler. Got it.
Anonymous
How can OPs family have large appetites such that there is hardly any food left for OP yet OP is concerned about "waste"? OP doesn't make a lot of sense which is what people are reacting to. Oh, and also OP just seems extremely cheap. Stop eating out so much if you can't afford it and it puts a crimp in the grocery budget.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I sometimes did this because I am cheap, picky, and don’t like to see food wasted. I don’t think it’s a big deal. Now that my kids are older and more likely to finish their meals, I rarely skip ordering. I don’t see why people need to shame others so much.


The shamers in this thread are most likely fat gluttons who are justifying their over spending and over eating as being… feminism?


So, you think that people who actually eat dinner are “over eaters” and “fat?” But, you’re the one without weird food hangups?


No I think the people shaming OP are fat over eaters. Work on your reading comprehension.


Disordered behavior should be described as such. It does no one any good to pretend that OP is healthy and okay. She's not. It's like calling it "shaming" to describe a tumor as cancer.


It’s not disordered just because some over dramatic idiots could never dream of NOT wasting food and money every time they belly up to the trough.


I don’t think OP’s choices are disordered, just set a bad example for her kids. That being said, all the comments saying it is disordered eating have been relatively kind and not shaming. Your comments on other posters however…


What world are you living in where it is KIND to tell a mother that she has an eating disorder, is acting like a martyr, and is a bad mother (sorry, setting a bad example for her children)?


NP. It is literally modeling for your kids that mom doesn’t choose or get a full entree; mom gets what others pick, and she gets the scraps.


It is literally modeling that the family doesn’t waste food or money, and mom is smart and savvy.


It’s fine to be thrifty, but not at the expense of only one gender. Why can’t your husband be the one to eat table scraps sometimes?


Everyone should take a turn not ordering, even the kids. And be sure to tell the waitstaff "Sorry, it's Bentley's turn to not order" when asked what he would like. Husband should also be in the rotation if this is to be a fair and effective model. Otherwise it just show mom is worthless, doesn't even deserve to eat.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I sometimes did this because I am cheap, picky, and don’t like to see food wasted. I don’t think it’s a big deal. Now that my kids are older and more likely to finish their meals, I rarely skip ordering. I don’t see why people need to shame others so much.


The shamers in this thread are most likely fat gluttons who are justifying their over spending and over eating as being… feminism?


So, you think that people who actually eat dinner are “over eaters” and “fat?” But, you’re the one without weird food hangups?


No I think the people shaming OP are fat over eaters. Work on your reading comprehension.


Disordered behavior should be described as such. It does no one any good to pretend that OP is healthy and okay. She's not. It's like calling it "shaming" to describe a tumor as cancer.


It’s not disordered just because some over dramatic idiots could never dream of NOT wasting food and money every time they belly up to the trough.


I don’t think OP’s choices are disordered, just set a bad example for her kids. That being said, all the comments saying it is disordered eating have been relatively kind and not shaming. Your comments on other posters however…


What world are you living in where it is KIND to tell a mother that she has an eating disorder, is acting like a martyr, and is a bad mother (sorry, setting a bad example for her children)?


NP. It is literally modeling for your kids that mom doesn’t choose or get a full entree; mom gets what others pick, and she gets the scraps.


It is literally modeling that the family doesn’t waste food or money, and mom is smart and savvy.


It’s neither smart nor savvy to have 1/2 a cheeseburger and one chicken tender for dinner as a 36yo woman when what you really want—and what would be healthier for you—is the salmon, or the salad with goat cheese, or the gnocchi with brown sage butter.


Gnocchi with brown sage butter is very yummy but certainly not ‘good for you’ or even better for you than someone’s discarded cheeseburger piece. Hilarious but true


What’s “hilarious” is you thinking that preservative-filled, ultra-processed, sodium-laden chicken tenders or a Sysco burger are “better” for you than house-made, fresh gnocchi. Not everything is about calories, you know. Freshly made food vs. processed frozen Sysco crap. And you think the cheeseburger is healthier? LOL.


NP. To be fair, the kind of place that serves house made gnocchi is not the same place that serves Sysco burgers. If you get a burger at the gnocchi place it’s probably quality meat.
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