Cons of private school?

[Anonymous]

People have hit on this but the administrations of at least our private heavily favor the families of large donors in ways big and small. Love the education at our school, but loathe the administration and development aspects of it. I think this issue is most pronounced in the K/8s that have a harder time raising bigger sums.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People have hit on this but the administrations of at least our private heavily favor the families of large donors in ways big and small. Love the education at our school, but loathe the administration and development aspects of it. I think this issue is most pronounced in the K/8s that have a harder time raising bigger sums.

I bet I can guess what K8 is being referenced here. This is completely true at our K8 which I guessing is the same one you are talking about.

[Anonymous]

I think a huge con is that once you introduce choice, you might always wonder about the opportunity cost of choosing that school over others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People have hit on this but the administrations of at least our private heavily favor the families of large donors in ways big and small. Love the education at our school, but loathe the administration and development aspects of it. I think this issue is most pronounced in the K/8s that have a harder time raising bigger sums.

Yep. From disciplinary issues to ensuring donors’ kids get the best placements for private high school, that was the case at ours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People have hit on this but the administrations of at least our private heavily favor the families of large donors in ways big and small. Love the education at our school, but loathe the administration and development aspects of it. I think this issue is most pronounced in the K/8s that have a harder time raising bigger sums.

Yep. From disciplinary issues to ensuring donors’ kids get the best placements for private high school, that was the case at ours.

+2 Best high school placements at our school are always board member kids (which often means the big donors). Progressive k-8 in Virginia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People have hit on this but the administrations of at least our private heavily favor the families of large donors in ways big and small. Love the education at our school, but loathe the administration and development aspects of it. I think this issue is most pronounced in the K/8s that have a harder time raising bigger sums.

Yep. From disciplinary issues to ensuring donors’ kids get the best placements for private high school, that was the case at ours.

This times 100. This is the biggest flaw in the K8 model. A couple of donors at our K8 more or less run the school and the head of school spends the bulk of his time catering to them.

[Anonymous]

Butting is definitely a con:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/local/1991/01/15/dismissal-upheld-in-prep-school-hazing-incident/524fa325-7171-41b4-8edc-1d5fa8706d9f/

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We have done both private and public, they both have pluses and minuses.

The Cons of private schools are as follow:
-Gatekeeping of advance classes and where you apply.
-Influence some kids that there course work is too rigorous and others that it isn't rigorous enough
-You don't know what the school is teaching or helping students to accomplish vs. the parents tutoring. Lots of kids tutored in academics and coached in sports
-Attitude that they no what is best, perfect or can do no wrong
-Teachers who are only there so their kid can get free tuition
-Teachers who attended private schools growing up and have zero real experience dealing with diverse cultures
-Paying for textbooks on top of tuition. Often to find out you don't need it or your teacher gives you a digital copy
-Only one teacher who teaches a class/level so you may not be able to avoid the teacher
-Although they have a lot of APs, there is usually only one or two sessions leading to scheduling conflicts
-Treating your kid like a statistic versus an individual
-Not keeping up with changing times - dual enrollment, online course. Kids should be able to take almost any class.
-If you aren't a high donor, gifted athlete, or some hook for attending top schools then you are somehow not as important
-Find the best fit school for college but mainly feature and celebrate Ivy League attendees
-How much they have APs but showcase scores / AP scholars, AP scores and 3+ pass rates
-Clique students and parents
-Parents maneuvering to have their keep become friends with key, well off or influential families
-Parents making 200K, driving high end cards, visiting their parents second home on the beach while getting financial aide from the school. A lot of financial aid goes to wealth family and doesn't really help with economic or racial equity
-If you are a minority assuming you are from another country or if you are Black or Hispanic that you are on scholarship
-Insensitive faculty and families that aren't inclusive of (insert any group you want here)
-0 diversity of staff but talk a lot about diversity and claim to be diverse
-If you can't attend all of your kids events then you are an unfit parent
-Giving beyond tuition and then extra giving events beyond that
-Course in their books that only happen every other year or not at all
-Long term sub issues, the school may not have other teachers to teach the subject area

Wow, this is pretty comprehensive. However, I would submit that a lot of this applies to public schools, too.

Wow, this list is spot-on.
We were a long-term public family and did not find these cons to be true at public.
Very much true at our Big3 private.

Advanced classes are definitely gate-kept---even if your kid has an A in a prior course. It may not be "a high enough A" and other such BS. I wish I had known this before.

Can any student take advanced-level / AP classes in public?

Yes.
Any kid can sign up for any AP class at any time. There is zero barrier to entry except for room in the class. However, at places like Wilson/Jackson Reed they will run AP classes of 40+ kids so space is not usually an issue either.

No prerequisites for anything, either? Anyone can sign up for AP Calculus BC out of the blue, for example, without any required prerequisites?

Correct.

At least in FCPS, that's not wholly true. My 12th grader signed up for a class out of sequence and he got an email telling him he needed to pivot. What is true is that there isn't the gatekeeping like you see in some privates, but if a kid tries to sign up for Cal BC and they haven't taken Algebra 2 - someone is going to figure that out at some point and say something. Their current year teachers talk to them about what follows when it's time to choose classes and at Langley they review the choices in Langley Links or with a counselor.

At our kids high schools, there were published math progression charts and prerequisites. I guess you could ignore them, but at your own peril. The counselors discussed course selection with students and parents. You want to get a good transcript for college applications, so I didn't see kids taking outrageous course leaps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP private school is for kids that can not cut it in public

LOL! Just admit you are too poor + unsuccessful to send your kids to private.

NP You should drive past the student car parks at many area public schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Warped perspective on the world wrt socioeconomic situations

I am not a private school parent but I went to private high school and this is why we do not send our kids. I just don't think spending high school in that bubble is healthy in the long term.

[Anonymous]

We were subjected to marketing by the private school all the time, because they have to continue to convince you how special they are and how their curriculum will transform your child in order to retain your tuition dollars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a huge con is that once you introduce choice, you might always wonder about the opportunity cost of choosing that school over others.

This is a really interesting - and I think true - point.
No school is perfect. if you just attend your local public school, you accept the imperfections without too much angst (within reason, of course)
If your private school that you worked hard to choose and apply to and were excited about getting accepted into has imperfections (which it will!) it makes you question your choices and perhaps start looking all over again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Warped perspective on the world wrt socioeconomic situations

I am not a private school parent but I went to private high school and this is why we do not send our kids. I just don't think spending high school in that bubble is healthy in the long term.

It’s a fair point, but, having spent time in public before switching to private, I know public school is like the department of motor vehicles where kids are just a number and each day is about executing the process. It’s soul crushing. I would rather have to work on exposing my kids to their advantages than have to work on deprogramming them after being in the machine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Warped perspective on the world wrt socioeconomic situations

I am not a private school parent but I went to private high school and this is why we do not send our kids. I just don't think spending high school in that bubble is healthy in the long term.

You could choose a school not in that bubble.

[Anonymous]

Our kids thought we were poor.