why don't more SAHMs become nannies when kids are in college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how being a nanny is just considered an anyone can do it, kind of job. We literally get no respect.

I’ve worked as a professional nanny for 25 years and earn over $100k. If you want to be a high earning nanny, you need to devote yourself to the job, and most people don’t want to do that. I invest thousand every year in continuing education. My training (beyond university) includes ECE, Montessori, doula, newborn care specialist, advanced first aid and cpr, emergency medical care, child nutrition, ADHD, autism, and special needs coursework.

Being a nanny is a job that some of us take quite seriously and no, just being a stay at home mom doesn’t necessarily qualify you to earn above average wages.

I think this thread made it very obvious to all readers that the vast majority of SAHMs are unqualified to become nannies. They don’t like kids, they don’t like schedules and they don’t want to be told what to do.

So true. Much harder than an office job. We should pay the nannies more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There aren't that many years before grandchildren come along and a LOT of former SAHMs help extensively with grandchildren. Oldest kid goes to college at 18, has kids at 30. But the youngest child might be 5 years younger.

I will say that something that bothers me in these SAHM return to work threads is that those of us who have been working have been steadily climbing the ladder, but these SAHMs don't want to return to their previous wage- they want the same wage as women who have been working the entire time.

I can't believe you are saying this gross generation about a whole group of women. How about saying "some" women want to return to their previous wage? What if they got education or experience that showed they deserved it. Would that be ok in your mind?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow some (notice, SOME) SAHMs are touchy. OP wasn't saying ALL SAHMs should be nannies, but that those who are concerned about finances should/could maybe consider it once their kids are off to college b/c it can make a non-trivial amount of money while being able to enter the workforce.

Op makes it sound like nannying is a fine job. It isn't. There are no standards for the job and how the nanny is treated. Most nanny jobs don't pay well. The hours and vacation time are inflexible. Do most nannies get health care benefits? People are quoting some of the top ranges for salaries and a lot of entry level jobs with companies pay better, have flexibility with hours and vacation, and provide a route to move up into a better position.

We do have a serious problem with child care in this country. It isn't respected. Someone concerned about money, even lacking a college degree, can find lots of work that pays better with actual benefits.

If I needed to make money, there are a lot better options. I assume op's post is fueled her frustrations with not being able to find good cheap child care. Trying to spin the job of being a nanny as a reasonable option for someone who needs money is a joke.

NP: I agree with all your points, but I think for a SAHP who has a spouse who provides the family benefits and who is just looking for cash, it is a potentially viable option. Especially if they enjoyed taking care of kids and lack other work skills/career interests and if they just want to earn enough during kids' college years to help with cash flow for college expenses. They might feel more comfortable in the home setting doing familiar work etc. rather than launching a new career. They might like that it has a built in "end-date" when the kids she's nannying get older so that they don't feel pressured to keep working. It seemed to work okay for the few women I knew who took this route or similar (e.g., taking on lots of babysitting jobs), but they really only wanted cashflow for a few years not a new career and thought nannying/caregiving was a straightforward way. Or the opportunity just sort of fell in their lap and they thought why not.
I do worry that someone who is entertaining this idea may be letting fear/insecurity limit the job options they're willing to think about rather than what would serve them best in the long run. But I chose career over full time SAP so I may have a different perspective than they do.

Your assertion that women, of course you leave out men, don't want to be your nanny out of fear/insecurity is asinine. The reason these women don't want to be your domestic slave is because they have character flaws? We see you op. If this was so reasonable, more women who aren't insecure/fearful (I can't believe this is what you tell yourself) would take this job.

Companies in this country are family unfriendly. Child care workers are not well paid. Child care workers are not respected. Families are desperate for "reasonably" priced quality child care. Reasonably priced quality child care generally does not exist. Families do not want to pay for quality child care. The people who employ child care workers often do not respect them. If you don't respect the job, you aren't going to pay a reasonable wage. Family unfriendly work places make parents desperate. Desperate employers are the worst. I assume it's desperation that has led you to this ridiculous post op.

Maybe work on your reading comprehension. First, I'm not OP, I'm a NP. 2nd, I didn't leave out men--I shifted to women when I started talking about the specific people I knew who did this--who were all women. 3rd, when I mentioned fear/insecurity it was the direct opposite of what you are implying--that I worry that some SAP might choose to be a nanny/childcare giver not because it's the best option available to them but rather because they don't feel confident about pursuing a new career since they have been out of the workforce so long.

I stand corrected. I did assume you were op and I did think she was insinuating it was weakness for not taking on her kids. Sorry.

Thanks for the apology.

No problem. This is an important topic as it affects so many of us. I'm knee jerk reacting and it doesn't help the conversation. Sorry again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how being a nanny is just considered an anyone can do it, kind of job. We literally get no respect.

I’ve worked as a professional nanny for 25 years and earn over $100k. If you want to be a high earning nanny, you need to devote yourself to the job, and most people don’t want to do that. I invest thousand every year in continuing education. My training (beyond university) includes ECE, Montessori, doula, newborn care specialist, advanced first aid and cpr, emergency medical care, child nutrition, ADHD, autism, and special needs coursework.

Being a nanny is a job that some of us take quite seriously and no, just being a stay at home mom doesn’t necessarily qualify you to earn above average wages.

I think this thread made it very obvious to all readers that the vast majority of SAHMs are unqualified to become nannies. They don’t like kids, they don’t like schedules and they don’t want to be told what to do.

So true. Much harder than an office job. We should pay the nannies more.

Are we reading the same thread? The most obvious thing that I got out of this is being a SAHM is hard work and it involves more than just snuggling the babies. SAHM do it because they want to be home with their children and that is why it is worth the lack or pay and respect. It doesn't mean we aren't qualified for being a nanny but, instead it means once we have raised our kids we do not want to raise yours. The joy of being a SAHM is the flexibility ( although limited many times) and the lack of boss nitpicking you over eating lunch and reading the paper on your break!

Being a nanny is hard work and most working parents don't pay enough or give you enough benefits to make it worth while. If you stay home than when you kids grow up and the spouse retires you can enjoy life.

It is bad enough that men don't respect SAHM but, doubly sad that other women look down at us too.

The sad fact is society doesn't respect SAHM and neither does you or op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow some (notice, SOME) SAHMs are touchy. OP wasn't saying ALL SAHMs should be nannies, but that those who are concerned about finances should/could maybe consider it once their kids are off to college b/c it can make a non-trivial amount of money while being able to enter the workforce.

Op makes it sound like nannying is a fine job. It isn't. There are no standards for the job and how the nanny is treated. Most nanny jobs don't pay well. The hours and vacation time are inflexible. Do most nannies get health care benefits? People are quoting some of the top ranges for salaries and a lot of entry level jobs with companies pay better, have flexibility with hours and vacation, and provide a route to move up into a better position.

We do have a serious problem with child care in this country. It isn't respected. Someone concerned about money, even lacking a college degree, can find lots of work that pays better with actual benefits.

If I needed to make money, there are a lot better options. I assume op's post is fueled her frustrations with not being able to find good cheap child care. Trying to spin the job of being a nanny as a reasonable option for someone who needs money is a joke.

NP: I agree with all your points, but I think for a SAHP who has a spouse who provides the family benefits and who is just looking for cash, it is a potentially viable option. Especially if they enjoyed taking care of kids and lack other work skills/career interests and if they just want to earn enough during kids' college years to help with cash flow for college expenses. They might feel more comfortable in the home setting doing familiar work etc. rather than launching a new career. They might like that it has a built in "end-date" when the kids she's nannying get older so that they don't feel pressured to keep working. It seemed to work okay for the few women I knew who took this route or similar (e.g., taking on lots of babysitting jobs), but they really only wanted cashflow for a few years not a new career and thought nannying/caregiving was a straightforward way. Or the opportunity just sort of fell in their lap and they thought why not.
I do worry that someone who is entertaining this idea may be letting fear/insecurity limit the job options they're willing to think about rather than what would serve them best in the long run. But I chose career over full time SAP so I may have a different perspective than they do.

I had a career for 12 years prior to kids. Worked since I was a young teen in day cares and babysitting till I graduated. Both sucked. I will only go to work if something happens but we have plenty on my husbands salary and save.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how being a nanny is just considered an anyone can do it, kind of job. We literally get no respect.

I’ve worked as a professional nanny for 25 years and earn over $100k. If you want to be a high earning nanny, you need to devote yourself to the job, and most people don’t want to do that. I invest thousand every year in continuing education. My training (beyond university) includes ECE, Montessori, doula, newborn care specialist, advanced first aid and cpr, emergency medical care, child nutrition, ADHD, autism, and special needs coursework.

Being a nanny is a job that some of us take quite seriously and no, just being a stay at home mom doesn’t necessarily qualify you to earn above average wages.

I think this thread made it very obvious to all readers that the vast majority of SAHMs are unqualified to become nannies. They don’t like kids, they don’t like schedules and they don’t want to be told what to do.

So true. Much harder than an office job. We should pay the nannies more.

Are we reading the same thread? The most obvious thing that I got out of this is being a SAHM is hard work and it involves more than just snuggling the babies. SAHM do it because they want to be home with their children and that is why it is worth the lack or pay and respect. It doesn't mean we aren't qualified for being a nanny but, instead it means once we have raised our kids we do not want to raise yours. The joy of being a SAHM is the flexibility ( although limited many times) and the lack of boss nitpicking you over eating lunch and reading the paper on your break!

Being a nanny is hard work and most working parents don't pay enough or give you enough benefits to make it worth while. If you stay home than when you kids grow up and the spouse retires you can enjoy life.

It is bad enough that men don't respect SAHM but, doubly sad that other women look down at us too.

The sad fact is society doesn't respect SAHM and neither does you or op

Remember there are a few extremists here. Not everyone disrespects us. Most working women I know see both sides.

[Anonymous]

NP here. Since I'm older I've come to the conclusion that having a responsible adult in the house is probably enough. I could offer that. I could cuddle a baby. I could watch-out for toddlers and keep them from danger. But would young familes see me as a lump, doing nothing? What I can't offer is Mary Poppins, or said anohter way, enthusiasm for thinking up new ways to provide enriching activities to older children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This reminds me of an educated professional friend who asked me (a SAHM) if I would be her nanny (two kids in diapers) since I was home anyway with two kids in diapers. It would be so easy she said. I scoffed.

She couldn't hold on to any babysitters or nannies, and her work hours were crazy. She offered $10 per hour, it was a few years ago.

I think she never really spent much time with her kids, so she didn't realize how much responsibility and work is involved.

Don't have kids if you don't have time for them.

Sahm with the same experience. I would hide the fact that I was a sahm and make people think I did a part time tech job from home. Some parents would be aggressive in trying to make me their low paid slave.

I was kind enough to agree to watch a single mom's child after school. It went from one afternoon to almost every afternoon, to her two kids. This woman aggressively tried to turn me into her slave, and was very demanding about it. At that point I put a stop to it firmly but kindly. There was drama after I put a stop to it. Crazy.

[Anonymous]

because i would never give up this much of myself for anyone else but my own kids. Why don’t YOU become a Nanny when your kids are out of the house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There aren't that many years before grandchildren come along and a LOT of former SAHMs help extensively with grandchildren. Oldest kid goes to college at 18, has kids at 30. But the youngest child might be 5 years younger.

I will say that something that bothers me in these SAHM return to work threads is that those of us who have been working have been steadily climbing the ladder, but these SAHMs don't want to return to their previous wage- they want the same wage as women who have been working the entire time.

I've been out of work for 7 years but worked for 7 years before that. People currently with no experience are making what I made 7 years ago with 7 years experience, so no I don't want to be paid as if I have no experience, I want the current going rate for someone with 7 years experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There aren't that many years before grandchildren come along and a LOT of former SAHMs help extensively with grandchildren. Oldest kid goes to college at 18, has kids at 30. But the youngest child might be 5 years younger.

I will say that something that bothers me in these SAHM return to work threads is that those of us who have been working have been steadily climbing the ladder, but these SAHMs don't want to return to their previous wage- they want the same wage as women who have been working the entire time.

I've been out of work for 7 years but worked for 7 years before that. People currently with no experience are making what I made 7 years ago with 7 years experience, so no I don't want to be paid as if I have no experience, I want the current going rate for someone with 7 years experience.

But your 7 years experience may be outdated given the gap of time not working. 7 years from 2008-2015 are not likely the same value to a company as 7 years from 2015-2022 in a lot of fields. Not to mention the skills that are still relevant might be a little rusty after not using them for 7 years. I stayed home with my kid for 2.5 years and a lot had changed in my field even in that short amount of time--my role had a lot more data analytics than before and a whole suite of tools I had never used. I also found it took me time to get back into the groove of working on teams, with clients etc. (as well as do that while managing my still somewhat new role as a parent).
I found I had to back up a bit in my expectations for jobs and also put in more time to learn things that were now expected in my role. Your experience may be different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There aren't that many years before grandchildren come along and a LOT of former SAHMs help extensively with grandchildren. Oldest kid goes to college at 18, has kids at 30. But the youngest child might be 5 years younger.

I will say that something that bothers me in these SAHM return to work threads is that those of us who have been working have been steadily climbing the ladder, but these SAHMs don't want to return to their previous wage- they want the same wage as women who have been working the entire time.

For me it’s not that. It’s that my DH has also been steadily climbing the ladder and any pay I could receive now is at best glad his annual bonus (probably less), never mind his base pay. It’s just not enough to move the needle.

[Anonymous]

Because they don’t want to work - they want to ride the gravy train

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because they don’t want to work - they want to ride the gravy train

Why should a SAHM change to working as a nanny for a working mom to make her life easier? You become a SAHM to make your family life easier. Its really entitled to demand a SAHM become your nanny for low pay when its not something you are willing to do yourself.

[Anonymous]

I stayed at home because I have SN kids. It is a sacrifice I've made for my children's well-being. This does not mean I want to deal with spoiled entitled kds whose parents are nit-picky, bossy, and entitled.