My kid isn't getting in

[Anonymous]

^ all of which can achieved without going to the best of the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you’ve confirmed something I’ve long suspected. My kid goes to a lesser ranked public high school and the neighborhood just nearby is a much higher ranked high school. I always suspected that he would end up in the same place as the rich kids nearby, but they would be disappointed they ended up there while he will be satisfied. He would really like to go to CP and doesn’t know anyone at his high school who would make him feel ashamed of it.

We go to a high school with "rich kids" and no one at our schools makes other students feel ashamed of going to UMD. A lot of the "rich kids," as you say, were rejected this year. So not sure why you think being rich has anything to do with whether kids approve or don't approve of UMD. You honestly sound jealous.

PP made a very good and true point, you seem to have missed it.

Agree. I grew up in a poor high school where expectations were much lower. I felt like I hit the jackpot for getting into the college I did. My roommate was from a rich high school in a different state and told me that our college was considered a disappointment, second-ran school. I thought her reaction was so clueless and now as a parent, I think her reaction was so sad, how she was made to feel like a disappointment for doing great at a world class college. I think it set her up for feeling stupid, continuing to this day when we’re still friends and in our 50s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, thanks for not blaming the URM boogeyman like most of the grievance-,filled DCUM posters do when their DC doesn't get admitted to his/ her college of choice.

God damn it. Some of you act like admissions standards aren't quantifiably lower for URMs and first gens. The data is readily available: they are. And each of those acceptances means one fewer acceptance for students -- many of them sons and daughters of people who post here -- not in favored demographic groups but with much higher stats. It's bull crap. And just to preempt the response I'm sure is coming, yes, legacies have gotten the same favorable treatment for many years. That's bull crap too.

+1. The stats are out there. Harvard and UNC have to defend the practice of URM preference admissions due, precisely to the fact the qualifications are not the same.

As a URM parent whose kid had the stats and did well during this year's cycle, just let it go. You have no idea what the URM kids brought to the table. Everyone just assumes that it is an all stats game -- GPA, SAT. My kid did that and had other really good stuff in the application. Was not a 1500+ SAT scorer, but probably didn't have to be.

There will always be students who are lesser on some factors but much greater than others on other factors. I think it's okay for colleges to say they want a few more basketweavers this year and far fewer lacrosse players. Doesn't mean the basketweavers are less qualified or that all lacrosse players are more qualified. Its a balance that colleges get the choice to decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The difference between one big public flagship university and another is not too great. The difference in experience between that and a small private is huge. It sounds like OP's kid wanted a small private and they didn't apply low enough on the selectivity scale. Leaving him stuck with a big public experience he was trying to avoid.

Lets be honest. Public school sucks compared to private school. (I went public through grad school and my kids are in public now). I'm sad because a kidlike that could have gotten decent merit at a lower ranked private like Macalester or Oberlin.

Based on your exp or perception?

Why are you sad for him? They decided not to apply to places like Macalester and Oberlin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This area is warping people's brains and perceptions. I know we are talking about college here, and I am sympathetic to OP, but look at the post.

We are framing our kids as numbers...GPAs SATs and percentages. They're people who are going to do very well in life no matter what school they go to.

But we are so conditioned here to program our kids and their lives toward the great colleges and "ensuring" their futures, that we are forgetting what's important: education, happiness, and perspective.

Agree!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's been rejected from an ED, deferred from an EA that was considered a safety, rejected from MD Honors, rejected by UVA, did not receive a transcript request last month from the UC's (evidentially a telltale sign you have a rejection coming April 1), received no merit aid from a safety that in the past routinely gave kids like him 10-15K a year, received no scholarship application invitation from another school that in the past routinely gave kids like him big scholarships...I could go on. When you are not full pay there are ways you can tell if a yes is coming from a lot of the schools. Of course there are others, and there's a decent chance he gets into one or two of them, but the trend does not make that feel likely.

Not saying this to kick you when you are down but to educate other parents. The UCs and UVA are VERY difficult admits for out of state students. You can’t look at overall admissions stats and base your applications on these. Add to that the UCs don’t even consider test scores, that 1500 was worth nothing. All they looked at was your child’s 10th and 11th grade grades in terms of stats, and those were lacking in math and science. This outcome was entirely predictable — your kid basically applied to all reaches and the wrong kind of reaches (competitive state schools that cap out of state admits to low numbers).

This is why you can’t just focus on T20s national universities on US News because those are chock full of UCs and Ivies/Stanford type schools that get overwhelmed with applicants. Sure, apply to some of the schools, but cast a broader net and don’t make those non reach applications an afterthought.

[Anonymous]

Your DS stats look the same as Emory ED stats. He might still have a chance at a top school in RD but he likely aimed to high in the early rounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:It’s tough. I’m very sorry. My son was a very average kid, academically. It made it easier in a way. Applied to 12 schools, 10 were state flagships. He got into 10/12 schools and felt really good about himself for the first time in a long time (with respect to school). He attended a large state flagship and is doing very well in college.
My daughter is more of a 90 percentile kid. We will be steering her to similar schools as her brother, however, for a multitude of reasons including taking the damn pressure off a bit that is so woven into living in this area.

As I’m sure I’ll be asked, his schools:

Admitted (29 ACT and 3.4 GPA)
U of SC
Penn State (summer program)
Clemson (summer program)
Alabama
Auburn
Indiana
Ole Miss
UC Boulder
Pitt
TCU

Not admitted: Ohio State and U of GA

That’s awesome, PP. Good for him. Just out of curiosity, where did he decide to go?

I feel for OP’s son. I have a 10th grader who I think is going to be similar and I don’t think a big school would be a good fit so it’s going to be interesting. I commented on a few other recent threads that I feel like the kids in the top but not tippy top are then looking wt the same schools as kids with much lower stats. This PP here is a good example. Her son is in at a lot of schools that people are saying are the kind of ones OP’s kid and similar kids should be planning on, and they aren’t bad schools, but why are the kids working so hard for their 4.4 and their 11 APs if they can get in w/o and a 3.4???

To work on getting a great high school education?

You don't need 11 APs for a great HS education. Honestly, after seeing how this plays out and the fact that my junior DD would be really happy at several less competitive LACs that would meet our budget, I've really been encouraging her to put more balance in her schedule. Insisted on only 3 APs in junior year and I'd like her to stick with that senior year. It's plenty. She has ADHD and works like crazy with this schedule.

That's true. You don't need SAT 1550+, 10+ APs, countless EC hours to get into UVA or UMD.

Don’t you though? For uva?

+1. I don’t think the PP has kept up with what it takes today to get into UVA if not URM, first-generation, Questbridge, Blue Ridge Scholar, low income from poorer counties in VA, legacy, full pay international … and the list just keeps going on.

Stats like that weren’t even enough for my legacy kid to get in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s tough. I’m very sorry. My son was a very average kid, academically. It made it easier in a way. Applied to 12 schools, 10 were state flagships. He got into 10/12 schools and felt really good about himself for the first time in a long time (with respect to school). He attended a large state flagship and is doing very well in college.
My daughter is more of a 90 percentile kid. We will be steering her to similar schools as her brother, however, for a multitude of reasons including taking the damn pressure off a bit that is so woven into living in this area.

As I’m sure I’ll be asked, his schools:

Admitted (29 ACT and 3.4 GPA)
U of SC
Penn State (summer program)
Clemson (summer program)
Alabama
Auburn
Indiana
Ole Miss
UC Boulder
Pitt
TCU

Not admitted: Ohio State and U of GA [/quote

Great list of schools! Is he private or public HS?

Private. But not sure that mattered?

It does. My private school child (3.8 UW) has been deferred/waitlisted at a few of the same schools your child was accepted and Public school friend with equal stats admitted. Both were test optional. Mine has more ECs, leadership and volunteer. It will all work out…. I think but very confused but the process.

Did your kid apply test optional? We did not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, thanks for not blaming the URM boogeyman like most of the grievance-,filled DCUM posters do when their DC doesn't get admitted to his/ her college of choice.

God damn it. Some of you act like admissions standards aren't quantifiably lower for URMs and first gens. The data is readily available: they are. And each of those acceptances means one fewer acceptance for students -- many of them sons and daughters of people who post here -- not in favored demographic groups but with much higher stats. It's bull crap. And just to preempt the response I'm sure is coming, yes, legacies have gotten the same favorable treatment for many years. That's bull crap too.

A poor brown kid did not steal your kid’s spot. Try harder next time.

You have no idea, do you?

Maybe it was a white athlete or a white legacy who stole the spot. Or maybe it was the white kid who had exactly the same stats and similar ec’s and is from the same school who stole it.

Or maybe the essay was meh and even of the admits were a class of 100% lilly-white upper class kids your kid still wouldn’t have gotten in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, the admissions process is insane - but it's not an evaluation of your child as a person. He is not a 90%. His stats are probably around 98-99% but even his stats are just stats. To some degree, these colleges are like clubs. Getting in or not getting in doesn't set you for life.

I had three kids. For the record, we are URM. One had a bunch of admissions to selective schools. The others had disappointing results. As a matter of fact, two of my daughters applied to the same school, the same year: one as a freshman and the other as a transfer. The freshman got in but it was one out of many schools where she was accepted. Her sister - who would have LOVED to attend - did not. My youngest wanted a small, liberal arts school and ended up at a huge city school because she was only admitted to huge schools.

We also needed financial aid and, yes, I think that made a big difference.

I'm sorry for the disappointment. Your kid sounds like a great student and Maryland - or wherever he goes - will be lucky to call him an alum.

Just curious why your child who "wanted a small, liberal arts school" applied to a "huge city school?" There are SLAC's along the spectrum of selectivity.

If she put ranking above her own preferences/fit, I don't really have sympathy for her "plight."

[Anonymous]

Back to the OP

I think your kid got a spot at UMD in the scholars program, am I right?

So is his need for a place in college less important than bragging rights for getting lots of different offers?

Because I genuinely don't understand. He got a place at a college he'd like to attend.

Problem solved. Move on. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, the admissions process is insane - but it's not an evaluation of your child as a person. He is not a 90%. His stats are probably around 98-99% but even his stats are just stats. To some degree, these colleges are like clubs. Getting in or not getting in doesn't set you for life.

I had three kids. For the record, we are URM. One had a bunch of admissions to selective schools. The others had disappointing results. As a matter of fact, two of my daughters applied to the same school, the same year: one as a freshman and the other as a transfer. The freshman got in but it was one out of many schools where she was accepted. Her sister - who would have LOVED to attend - did not. My youngest wanted a small, liberal arts school and ended up at a huge city school because she was only admitted to huge schools.

We also needed financial aid and, yes, I think that made a big difference.

I'm sorry for the disappointment. Your kid sounds like a great student and Maryland - or wherever he goes - will be lucky to call him an alum.

Just curious why your child who "wanted a small, liberal arts school" applied to a "huge city school?" There are SLAC's along the spectrum of selectivity.

If she put ranking above her own preferences/fit, I don't really have sympathy for her "plight."

+1 There is a SLAC for any student who wants that experience at every level of selectivity and most that aren't highly ranked give big discounts off the list price. My DD wants a LAC, preferably rural. She will not be applying to a huge city school. Every school on her list will be one she will be happy to attend.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP! But why such hate for UMD? Lots of kids got rejected by UmD this year. I get you have a high stats kid and hoped to get into a selective school. But unfortunately, high stats are not enough. 3 years ago my kid 1580 SAt, 800 on physics, math2, history, 15 APs and 2 beyond AP classes, software entrepreneur, rejected by MIT, Stanford, CMU, Cornell, Penn and Princeton. Only got acceptance from his safety schools UMD, Michigan and Georgia Tech. All honors. My nephew had a similar story, high stats but rejected everywhere. He was beyond depressed when he realized other lower stats kids getting into these schools. That was it for me. For me DC2, we didn’t apply to any school with less than 30% acceptance rate and it has been good so far!
Hang in there. It will be fine. UMD is a good school. Goal is to get an education… it will be met

This is almost the same as my friend's son, SAT 1600, 15 APs all 5, Presidential service award, sports team captain, cello first chair, rejected from dream schools Stanford, MIT, CMU and other top schools, only got accepted from his safety UVA. It took more than a year for the parents and kid to recover from the disappointment.

That's kind of messed up. It took a year for the parents and kid to recover?

I believe it took them that long. It is not messed up. You have no clue because you don't have a high achieving kid like that who worked his a@@ off for YEARS to get top grades and scores. You think achieving academic success like that is easy? Of course they were disappointed. Their reaction is entirely expected and quite human. If they weren't disappointed I would be amazed. You know nothing about this.

DP...we all have high achieving kids. Seriously, your kid is a dime a dozen in this context. Get over it.

The kids described above are not a dime a dozen in this context. Their disappointment at having to 'settle for' Maryland, Michigan or Georgia Tech reveals expectations out of touch with reality, though. Median SAT scores at those three schools are in the 96th, 98th and 97th percentiles respectively. Any kid with the stats outlined above will thrive at any of those schools and will have a bright future ahead of them if they continue to work so hard.

I appreciate the effort at trying to group UMD together with Michigan or Georgia Tech.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Back to the OP

I think your kid got a spot at UMD in the scholars program, am I right?

So is his need for a place in college less important than bragging rights for getting lots of different offers?

Because I genuinely don't understand. He got a place at a college he'd like to attend.

Problem solved. Move on. Seriously.

Ditto this.
It really sounds like this is just a pride issue.

Many parents feel this way. They want their kid to be courted by multiple schools.

This area is so insane in this way. I remember a few years ago on the private school board a parent posted about losing sleep over the fact that her son was rejected from XX high school. She admitted that the kid had been accepted to 2 other selective (Big 3) high schools
but she just couldn't figure out why school XX would also not want her son and it was causing her a ton of stress 4 weeks after admissions were out. The kid wasn't even really interested in school XX but the fact that there were school administrators "out there" who turned
down her kid for an unknown reason was truly stressful for her. She just couldn't figure out why they didn't see how special her kid was.

This area is full of parents who NEED to believe that their kid is SUPER, SUPER special. And the reality is that 99.9% of our kids are not SUPER, SUPER special to anyone but us, their parents.