Using a popular name anyway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I admit to thinking “ANOTHER ONE?” In my head. I would never say anything, though.

It’s just a reaction. Nothing more.

You sound really judgmental.

If I hear someone say their kid's name, I just think either "that's a nice name" or "hmm don't like that name." I don't ever think "oh wow there are so many kids named that. How unoriginal." To me the main qualities that make a name good are: it sounds good when you say it out loud, people can pronounce it and spell it correctly most of the time, it goes well with the middle and last names.

That's it.

[Anonymous]

Your opinion of what sounds good and what doesn’t is also a judgement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I admit to thinking “ANOTHER ONE?” In my head. I would never say anything, though.

It’s just a reaction. Nothing more.

You sound really judgmental.

If I hear someone say their kid's name, I just think either "that's a nice name" or "hmm don't like that name." I don't ever think "oh wow there are so many kids named that. How unoriginal." To me the main qualities that make a name good are: it sounds good when you say it out loud, people can pronounce it and spell it correctly most of the time, it goes well with the middle and last names.

That's it.

DP. Pro tip: both of those are judgments. You're not less judgmental for judging based on different criteria than the person you're judging for judging based on popularity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I admit to thinking “ANOTHER ONE?” In my head. I would never say anything, though.

It’s just a reaction. Nothing more.

You sound really judgmental.

If I hear someone say their kid's name, I just think either "that's a nice name" or "hmm don't like that name." I don't ever think "oh wow there are so many kids named that. How unoriginal." To me the main qualities that make a name good are: it sounds good when you say it out loud, people can pronounce it and spell it correctly most of the time, it goes well with the middle and last names.

That's it.

DP. Pro tip: both of those are judgments. You're not less judgmental for judging based on different criteria than the person you're judging for judging based on popularity.

DDP. +1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Names follow trends. I do internally roll my eyes when I hear someone introduce their baby with a super common name. Like, come on, you couldn’t think out of the trend-pressure for one second?!

+1. No name is inherently prettier than another - it’s simply current fashion. I roll my eyes too.

+2 It’s like naming her “child.”

Except it's really not when even the most popular names are like .8%> of all babies born in a given year.

But there are regional trends, too. In the DC area, I know multiple Claras, Isabelle/Isobel/Annabels, Avas/Evas, Ellas, Charlottes, Harpers, Olivias, Evelyns, Sophias. Those all rank somewhere in the top 25-30 nationally, but probably top 10 locally.

In 2020, Clara ranked outside of top 100 (103) nationwide, in DC it's #34 (17 kids), VA #67 (98 kids), and MD #97 (48 kids). Your math is way off.

Your sampling (your group of friends) is too small to make such a statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I admit to thinking “ANOTHER ONE?” In my head. I would never say anything, though.

It’s just a reaction. Nothing more.

You sound really judgmental.

If I hear someone say their kid's name, I just think either "that's a nice name" or "hmm don't like that name." I don't ever think "oh wow there are so many kids named that. How unoriginal." To me the main qualities that make a name good are: it sounds good when you say it out loud, people can pronounce it and spell it correctly most of the time, it goes well with the middle and last names.

That's it.

DP. Pro tip: both of those are judgments. You're not less judgmental for judging based on different criteria than the person you're judging for judging based on popularity.

DDP. +1

I mean you’re right that those are judgments and subjective but they’re not AS judgmental IMO as thinking someone’s unoriginal. It’s just a baseline reaction “I like that name” or “I don’t” there is no other judgment besides a gut reaction of if you like it or not. Thinking a name is too popular takes it a step farther. Then it’s “I don’t like that” AND “it’s unoriginal.” Anyway, none of this matters. OP should pick the name she loves and not worry about popularity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I admit to thinking “ANOTHER ONE?” In my head. I would never say anything, though.

It’s just a reaction. Nothing more.

You sound really judgmental.

If I hear someone say their kid's name, I just think either "that's a nice name" or "hmm don't like that name." I don't ever think "oh wow there are so many kids named that. How unoriginal." To me the main qualities that make a name good are: it sounds good when you say it out loud, people can pronounce it and spell it correctly most of the time, it goes well with the middle and last names.

That's it.

DP. Pro tip: both of those are judgments. You're not less judgmental for judging based on different criteria than the person you're judging for judging based on popularity.

DDP. +1

I mean you’re right that those are judgments and subjective but they’re not AS judgmental IMO as thinking someone’s unoriginal. It’s just a baseline reaction “I like that name” or “I don’t” there is no other judgment besides a gut reaction of if you like it or not. Thinking a name is too popular takes it a step farther. Then it’s “I don’t like that” AND “it’s unoriginal.” Anyway, none of this matters. OP should pick the name she loves and not worry about popularity.

+1

Privately thinking “oh I don’t like the way that name sounds and would not have picked it” is just an emotional reaction to the name. It’s also the sort of thing most people understand to be subjective, so it’s not that hurtful. People have different taste. It’s the same with any aesthetics. I love modern architecture and moule love a modern home. I know people who would come to that home and cal it ugly to my face. But it wouldn’t really bother me because we just have different taste. No big deal.

The “your baby name is to popular” criticism sucks because as the posts in this demonstrate, it is meant to be a personal attack not on your subjective taste, but on your objective judgment. The argument often comes off as “you are a bad parent because you failed to give your child a sufficiently unique name.” That’s an insane amount of pressure to put on parents and I’d argue it actually leads to worse baby names because it pushes people to choose names specifically for their uniqueness and not their aesthetic value or personal meaning.

It’s a social judgment that often has a class component, and it’s much nastier than simply thinking a name is unattractive.

[Anonymous]

We get it, Sophia’s mommy. You’re mad that someone told you they hated your kid’s popular name.

My bet is that you also judge names you deem too creative pretty harshly, but you prefer to lecture everybody from your high horse about how judgmental it is to even THINK a name is super popular

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We get it, Sophia’s mommy. You’re mad that someone told you they hated your kid’s popular name.

My bet is that you also judge names you deem too creative pretty harshly, but you prefer to lecture everybody from your high horse about how judgmental it is to even THINK a name is super popular

I think the people in this thread have been way to harsh on "popular" names, and my kid's name is ranked in the 100s and would not be considered too common or too popular by most anyone. I also don't really judge other people's baby names either way (as too popular or too unique). Like the PP, I sometimes have an instinctual reaction that I really like the name or that I really don't. But mostly I find name choices interesting, but rarely a source of judgment.

I've also been around long enough to learn that your instant reaction to a name never sticks if you get to know the kid it's assigned to. Or even if it's like a coworkers kid that you never meet, but hear about a lot. I've heard names that sounded jarring or weird at first and then rapidly became normalized the more I heard them as referring to a person. And even a very common name where I know multiple kids with that name, my mental image of each individual kid becomes so different that even when they share a name, I don't really think about the fact that they share it anymore.

I've also met lots of older kids who have both common and uncommon names and develop dissatisfaction with their names in adolescence. I think this is common and the assumption that only kids with common names get it is wrong. Adolescence is hard and kids are figuring out who they are, and importantly, if they like that person. My niece has a beautiful uncommon name that she currently loathes (she goes by a first initial), for instance. I don't think her parents were wrong to give it to her. I just think it's hard to be 13.

The truth is that I'm not a very judgmental person and I'm kind of horrified by how harsh and judgmental many of you are being over children's names. You seem mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We get it, Sophia’s mommy. You’re mad that someone told you they hated your kid’s popular name.

My bet is that you also judge names you deem too creative pretty harshly, but you prefer to lecture everybody from your high horse about how judgmental it is to even THINK a name is super popular

+1 Exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We get it, Sophia’s mommy. You’re mad that someone told you they hated your kid’s popular name.

My bet is that you also judge names you deem too creative pretty harshly, but you prefer to lecture everybody from your high horse about how judgmental it is to even THINK a name is super popular

+1 Exactly

So your argument is "you probably judge other people's names harshly too" even though this thread is full of people harshly criticize parents for using more popular names and not a bunch of posters making fun of more unique names? Ok.

I am so glad I'm not friends with people like this. Life is too short.

[Anonymous]

How do you know you aren't friends with people who have the thought in their head?

Are you a mind reader or do you actually see thought bubbles?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We get it, Sophia’s mommy. You’re mad that someone told you they hated your kid’s popular name.

My bet is that you also judge names you deem too creative pretty harshly, but you prefer to lecture everybody from your high horse about how judgmental it is to even THINK a name is super popular

+1 Exactly

So your argument is "you probably judge other people's names harshly too" even though this thread is full of people harshly criticize parents for using more popular names and not a bunch of posters making fun of more unique names? Ok.

I am so glad I'm not friends with people like this. Life is too short.

You: *Non-argument.*

Person 2: “Ok, *non-argument* back.”

You: “That’s a non-argument! You’re evil!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We get it, Sophia’s mommy. You’re mad that someone told you they hated your kid’s popular name.

My bet is that you also judge names you deem too creative pretty harshly, but you prefer to lecture everybody from your high horse about how judgmental it is to even THINK a name is super popular

+1 Exactly

So your argument is "you probably judge other people's names harshly too" even though this thread is full of people harshly criticize parents for using more popular names and not a bunch of posters making fun of more unique names? Ok.

I am so glad I'm not friends with people like this. Life is too short.

You: *Non-argument.*

Person 2: “Ok, *non-argument* back.”

You: “That’s a non-argument! You’re evil!”

What? In all seriousness, I don't even understand what this says. The previous two posters are creating a straw man of an imaginary poster with a child named Sophia who is just mad that someone said her child's popular name was popular and also "probably" judges people for creative names. This person doesn't exist, or if she does she does not appear to have posted in this thread, but okay.

The only people being rude in this thread (started by a woman who wants to name her child Charlotte) are people acting like naming your child Charlotte is some kind of child abuse. I haven't seen a single post criticizing people for using more unique names. It's just you and a couple other posters who cannot let go of this idea that you MUST give your child a name no one else could ever have or you've failed as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Ugh - struggling with this exact quandary. We love the name Olivia and it flows with our last name and other children’s names, but I’m hesitant because of its popularity. I thought it had fallen slightly, but there it sits at the #1 spot.