Non-religous

[Anonymous]

My DH and I are non-religious. We're not atheist, or specifically anti-religious. We're just....spiritual or...well, whatever.
I was raised sort of non-Jewish. And he was raised sort or non-catholic. We do most of the major holidays of some of the religions (all secular things) - we do Christmas at his parents, we do a non-religious gift exchange at my parents. We do the bunny holiday (as my daughter is now calling it).
I do want some sort of religious background for my daughter – I think it’s important (I think the fact that she started calling Easter the bunny holiday, got me). My DH says he doesn’t care – and it doesn’t matter to him either way, but that I need to “chose.” It seems odd to just pull a religion out of hat and start going to church, but I seem pulled to really want this for my child.
Anyone else have similar issues? And what did you do?

[Anonymous]

Us. We chose a Unitarian Church. It is a great fit for us.

[Anonymous]

tell him to go back to the catholic church, and you go with him. I think you will like it.

[Anonymous]

Quaker works for many people like you.

[Anonymous]

Try a reform, reconstructionist, or humanist synagogue. Very open-minded and welcoming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I are non-religious. We're not atheist, or specifically anti-religious. We're just....spiritual or...well, whatever.
I was raised sort of non-Jewish. And he was raised sort or non-catholic. We do most of the major holidays of some of the religions (all secular things) - we do Christmas at his parents, we do a non-religious gift exchange at my parents. We do the bunny holiday (as my daughter is now calling it).
I do want some sort of religious background for my daughter – I think it’s important (I think the fact that she started calling Easter the bunny holiday, got me). My DH says he doesn’t care – and it doesn’t matter to him either way, but that I need to “chose.” It seems odd to just pull a religion out of hat and start going to church, but I seem pulled to really want this for my child.
Anyone else have similar issues? And what did you do?

I don't quite get how you reconcile these two statements, but in any case, maybe the UUs would work for you.

[Anonymous]

I really don't understand why religion is important for your daughter if it isn't good enough for you.

It is time to go shopping. Attend some children's events at the UUs, Catholics, Jews... see what moves you. If nothing does, then I'd reevaluate why you think a religious background is important. Kids are great at spotting hypocrisy, and sending her to sunday school if you don't reinforce at home (at least one parent) is awfully close to hypocrisy.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP. You need to go shopping anf figure out your beliefs. Religion is not just about the holidays. It is about your faith and belief system. Do you believe in God or a god? Is Jesus your savior? Figure that out first.

[Anonymous]

"We do most of the major holidays of some of the religions (all secular things) - we do Christmas at his parents, we do a non-religious gift exchange at my parents. We do the bunny holiday (as my daughter is now calling it). "

We get it OP.You do all of the fun stuff and none of the work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"We do most of the major holidays of some of the religions (all secular things) - we do Christmas at his parents, we do a non-religious gift exchange at my parents. We do the bunny holiday (as my daughter is now calling it). "

We get it OP.You do all of the fun stuff and none of the work.

I call unnecessary roughness - and BOY would I not want to worship where you worship, wherever that may be.

At any rate, OP, you sound like a good candidate for any of the above, depending on where you stand - do you believe Jesus is the son of God? then perhaps, not a synagogue of any sort. Maybe United Church of Christ or United Methodist. If you don't, then perhaps, UU or a synagogue. If you are more theist, than christian, and you have a strong social justice bent, then perhaps UU, although UUs are welcoming of everyone, including people who believe in Jesus as a deity. If you are agnostic or atheist, then definitely UU, or perhaps a more secular route like the Washington Ethical Society. Anyway good luck in your search!

[Anonymous]

Some people who read the bible literally think we are in an age when you can't find real religion in a church anyway. It's part of the countdown to judgment day and rapture. Just sayin'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"We do most of the major holidays of some of the religions (all secular things) - we do Christmas at his parents, we do a non-religious gift exchange at my parents. We do the bunny holiday (as my daughter is now calling it). "

We get it OP.You do all of the fun stuff and none of the work.

Op here- please let me know what religion you are, I don't want to be that one

I never practiced, because I wasn't raised that way. Neither was my DH. As a child you don't just wake up one day and say "I'm A CATHOLIC! Or, mommy take me to Synogogue, I want to go" Since my parents were not interested, I was not. Since my DH's parent's were not interested, he was not" I guess you can try and make us feel bad - if that makes you feel like you are a better person, but I don't think that makes you a good Christian or Jew, or whatever you are. I think it just makes you mean.

I've always believed in God. I pray pretty regularly - I just don't go to Church or Synogogue or any place regularly. My DH reads the bible once every couple of years (becuase he thinks he should). It's important to me that my DD has a religous background of some kind - because I think that without something, we've kind of just made up our own beliefs as we've gone alone. More of an intellectual belief system.

I don't want it to be work for her - I don't want to just ship her off to Sunday school either. I think it should be something that everyone enjoys doing (I've seen people moved by their religion and it's a wonder to see).

But, I also don't want to be one of those, every Sunday go to Church or go to hell kind of people either.

[Anonymous]

OP, we're sort of in the same boat. I was raised Methodist, but am now agnostic, and practice Buddhism. My DH was raised Catholic, and is now agnostic, as well. We definitely don't want religion for our kids, but do want the sense of community that we both found growing up in the Christian church. We plan on teaching them Buddhist principles, primarily.

We've tried the Universalist Unitarian church, and liked it. It depends on the congregation. When we lived in Boston, we didn't like the one we went to there, but the one here in DC (16th Street and Columbia) is great.

I think you have to remember that if you want religion for your child, you will have to do the work along with her. You can't ask her to believe in something, and then not do so yourself, kwim? You're going to have to lead by example, because kids just don't have the capacity to figure out the nuance that you can.

Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

You don't need to fill your children's heads with this nonsense.

[Anonymous]

I hear you. Different background- raised ultra catholic, but also participated in Jewish holidays. My mom is ultra catholic, but original social- justice bent, not social- conservative.
As an adult, I did a lot of soul searching trying to find my own way. Looked at most religions, but the catholic liturgy still called me. I identify as episcopal now, just because there are aspects of catholic politics I can't reconcile with.
My husband was raised non-catholic, like yours.
We don't go to church often, but went on Easter. I dont like being the Christmas & Easter Christians, but as Easter approached I lacked a way to explain the holiday to my children. I don't want Easter to just be about candy & a bunny.
Good luck discovering what calls you.