Not wanting to share baby's name yet...is this rude?

[Anonymous]

We have finally decided on a baby name for our son but people feel it's their business to know it. Am I being selfish by not wanting to share yet?

With #1 we didn't share the name and that caused such drama so I was expecting the same thing and was unfortunately correct. For #1 we would give a list of names and I still remember the people who told me how awful some names were (including the one we gave her which is a top 10 name!). This time I've just said we're not ready to share it yet and have had some pretty awful responses but DH and I agree we'll announce the name when the baby is born.

I know several people on Facebook that announce the pregnancy, then the sex, then the name, etc but while we love FB this just isn't us.

Am I just being old school?

[Anonymous]

Most people don't give the name before birth. It's more unusual to give it.

[Anonymous]

I agree. I find it more uncommon when people share the name. I wouldn't worry about any drama. In the future if people ask, just say you haven't decided on a name.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you're being rude at all. We haven't been telling anyone our baby name either. When people ask why not, I usually say, "Oh, we feel a little superstitious about sharing the name for some reason...I guess we don't want to jinx anything..."

Nobody has given us a hard time about it, though. And I've enjoyed not having the name out there for judgment from others.

[Anonymous]

Or just say you've decided but you're going to wait to announce it until the baby's born. That's what I say, and if people seem perplexed I sometimes add "You'd be surprised what kinds of unsolicited opinons people will give about baby names! So we'd rather wait until the baby's born, because we think people will be less likely to criticize then."

[Anonymous]

OP, what are the awful responses you're getting when you tell people you don't want to share the name? I'm sorry you're getting grief about something that is joyful: your impending baby! I just told people that we wanted to keep something as a surprise for others when she was born, since we had already found out and told people it was a girl. Or you can make a joke and tell people it's "classified" and then immediately change the subject.

[Anonymous]

Not OP but my mom was indignant that we didn't share the name of our first in advance - called us weird and all sorts of things. I'm glad we waited. There are some things about which I don't need other people's opinions. I plan to wait again for our second baby. If people ask, I just say we haven't decided yet (totally true, haven't decided yet!)

[Anonymous]

Not rude at all! I am adamant about not sharing the name until the birth. It's no one else's business to give me unwanted feedback on the name I have chosen (and as you experienced, they will feel free to do so if you tell before the birth). I would never even ask someone what name they have chosen -- I might ask IF they have settled on a name yet, but not what the name is. I've been fortunate that no one has given us much grief over this decision, but our families are not overbearing about such things.

[Anonymous]

I'm with you 100%, OP. We have a name, but it feels inappropriate to share.

[Anonymous]

I am not sharing my name and just telling people it's a suprise. Suprisingly, people have understood and for the most part are leaving me alone about it. I just explain that we decided on a name we both like, and don't want to be swayed by other people's reaction to it. I think it is nice for people to hear the name for the first time when you announce the baby is born.

[Anonymous]

Why dont you say you dont know yet?

[Anonymous]

We did not share the name. NO WAY. It's no one's business other than yours until the baby is born.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the PPs - it's not rude and very common to wait to share the name until after the baby is born. We're not telling and no one has made us feel remotely uncomfortable about that.

[Anonymous]

I also agree that it's perfectly reasonable to keep it to yourself. I might say something like "we want the baby to be the first one to hear his/her name" but whatever you say I wouldn't worry about it. People get weirdly entitled about other people's pregnancies, but that's their issue not yours. And people will offer all kinds of opinions about names before the birth; only the rudest will insult it afterwards!

[Anonymous]

Now that we know the baby's sex, I get asked about his name all the time. We're planning to announce the name when he's born. When people ask, I usually waffle, "Oh, we have a few but we're waiting to figure it out." It's easier than saying, "Yes, we have a name, and, no, we're not telling you." I've only shared that we have a definite name with a few people.