How am I going to afford a baby??

[Anonymous]

Quality childcare costs what it is going to cost to send this kid to college.

How do people afford it??

[Anonymous]

Well, now that we have a baby we don't have the time/energy/money to go out any more, and we really don't take vacations much either. So there's that.

[Anonymous]

In-home daycares (which can be very high quality) cost less than a regular daycare, which is less than a nanny. It's all about what you decide you can cut back on in order to make it work.

[Anonymous]

Yep, my daughter's one year of day care cost more than my two years of tuition at my undergraduate public university and my first two years were paid for by a scholarship...so yeah, I hear you. It's insane.

[Anonymous]

Are you already pregnant? If not, then try to set up a special savings account just for daycare. We did this, contributing $500 a month for about 2 and a half years. It helped to take some edge off the cost once we finally had a baby, especially since we didn't get into a center until she was 11 months old.

[Anonymous]

Do you qualify for vouchers? That's the path for low-income families.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it sucks, but you'll figure it out. I racked up some debt the first few months while figuring out how to tighten the budget to take the daycare hit every month, but I worked it out.

You won't be going out much, so savings there. Pack your lunch & take it to work. No Starbucks, etc. I rarely buy clothes for myself, especially expensive ones that aren't on sale. I buy what I can at thrift stores. IMO most consignment stores tend to be a bit of a rip off. But consignment SALES for kids clothes, like Just Between Friends, Tot Swap, etc. you can get real bargains, esp when stuff gets marked to 50% off. We are lucky enough to still be able to afford a vacation, but this year we drove instead of flying to save money, and we stayed in a rental home instead of a hotel so that we could cook our own food, etc. I still contribute to my 401(K) but I don't really save any other money right now.

Just think -- whenever your kid(s) get out of daycare you're gonna be rich! And/or start saving for college/retirement

[Anonymous]

And hand me down are a life saver. I haven't had to buy my DD anything yet and she's almost 2.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks everyone. Sometimes it helps just to feel not-alone.

14:45, a savings account is a very good idea!

[Anonymous]

I second the savings account-auto withdrawal and you'll never notice it was there. Adjust your tax withholding to minimize refund and tuck that every week into savings. Get an fsa, and ut the reimbursement in, etc.

[Anonymous]

Huge fan of consignment stores and Craigslist for perfectly good but gently used stuff - for me and baby. Also, we're taking a really hard look at how we spend our money. Cutting out cable alone saved us $140 a month. Bringing my lunch to work saves another $100 a month. And instead of buying a new car, we're keeping our older car that is totally paid off. It all adds up. Don't think we'll ever be rich, but the hope is the money we save goes into an account for DD and becomes her college fund.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quality childcare costs what it is going to cost to send this kid to college.

How do people afford it??

And worse, childcare costs do not end for a while. Once daycare is done, there could be private school and that costs more than daycare. And if there is no private school, there are summer camps and paying for those for the summer can quickly add up into the thousands.

[Anonymous]

It's tough. I definitely feel my share of our $1,250 monthly daycare/preschool bill. (my ex and I are no longer together; it sucks running *two* households on not-stellar incomes.) I don't travel much anymore. I haven't bought many clothes since my daughter was born. I sometimes buy drugstore shampoo instead of the nice salon stuff I'm used to. I don't drink as much alcohol or eat out as much as I used to. (I wouldn't cut out cable, though - it's essential for the newborn months when you're up at really random hours.) I won't be buying a new car (knock on wood) till my daughter's in kindergarten.

You'll have major child-care costs for 5-6 years (depending on the timing of your kid's birthday; we got screwed by having a late-october kid, which means an extra year of paying for schooling.) then you'll just have SACC costs plus whatever activities and camps you choose. (summer camp will run you at least as much per week as a week of daycare, from what I can tell.)

Consignment sales are great for kids' clothes- I've found dresses as low as $2 and tees/shorts for $1. also if you find a friend who has a same-sex child a couple years older with a birthday in the same season as your kid, you could probably work out a deal to get all their hand-me-downs. My stepsister never has to buy clothes for her 4-year-old daughter because she has a generous friend and she passes on all the stuff to our sister-in-law. (i wish i could get in on this for my 2.5-year-old daughter, but she hasn't offered and I haven't asked!) I typically buy shoes on sale at payless for her current size and the next size up. (BOGO is great.)

[Anonymous]

I'm so glad to see the responses here have been helpful & supportive, because, in fact, I think some of the pressure for just what you need to afford comes from other moms, especially of the DC variety. So the first advice is to keep listening to the helpful moms and just plain tune out the ones who want to turn things into one-up-womanship about what they've just bought or are providing their child.

We did a nanny share, which was much cheaper than a nanny just for one and on par with a daycare center where I feared our daughter would get less attention as a baby than she needed (I was a first time mom, so let me say that wasn't necessarily a founded belief). It also turned out better than having a nanny just for her, because it gave her social connection with three other kids, and it helped me, because it connected me to other moms closely who were also looking out at the parenting landscape and thinking "How do we _do this?"

And absolutely heed the advice about stuff--the baby industry would convince you that if you don't have the triple action, ruffled, aerodynamic, advance 2012 version brand-named Pack n'Play, you're depriving your child. But your kid will be just as happy in a hand-me-down version. Some of the clothes I loved best for my daughter came from a friend; they were soft and worn in just the right amount so that my daughter herself has often liked those clothes best, rather than scratchy new cotton, for example. And at Value Village thrift store (on on University Blvd, one on New Hampshire Avenue in MD, other locations), you can often find clothes still with tags on them. And lots of toys at super reasonable prices.

[Anonymous]

The biggest cost will be childcare.. After that college. Until they're school age, you can use 2nd hand clothing and things.

I've wondered how some people who have low income continue to breed. It's dawning on me that they never think about it - educating their children. They just do it. So why can't we, college educated folks, just do it, too?