How am I going to afford a baby??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The biggest cost will be childcare.. After that college. Until they're school age, you can use 2nd hand clothing and things.

I've wondered how some people who have low income continue to breed. It's dawning on me that they never think about it - educating their children. They just do it. So why can't we, college educated folks, just do it, too?

More to lose.

Childcare is the big one. Everything else, IMO, is a trivial expense. But childcare is the killer. You just have to muscle through it. It's the reason why many, many families only have one child.

[Anonymous]

did you just realize that childcare in this area is highly expensive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:did you just realize that childcare in this area is highly expensive?

I had no idea until I got pregnant, personally. Who talks about daycare costs besides parents & parents-to-be? I guess that makes me an uneducated idiot who got knocked up without considering all the consequences

[HappyHealthyBirth]

After calculating child care costs, taxes and then my take home pay, I decided to be a stay at home mom for a few years. I work part time doing something I enjoy, it is more of a hobby really.
My husband and I are both paying for our student loans, and every Money magazine that we get says the same thing: MAKE YOUR KIDS PAY FOR COLLEGE THEMSELVES. Put your "extra" money into retirement.
Also, buy every thing 2nd hand, or get hand me downs, breastfeed as long as you can to cut down on formula/food/dr visit costs, cloth diaper to cut down on disposable costs.
We spent about $700 for my son's first year.

[Anonymous]

I opened up a CD when I found out I was pregnant. That was 3 years ago and now there is a little nest egg. The interest rate is pathetically low, but it's at least something.

We also requested no gifts, but savings bond and $$ into her college funds in leiu of presents for bdays/holidays.

And hand-me downs/consignment stores are a lifesaver (and moneysaver).

[Anonymous]

Sit down and make and figure out where all your money is going now. I'm sure there are things you could cut out and wouldn't miss. We got rid of cable and got apple tv, second month in we were saving almost $100. Target diapers instead of pampers saved us hundreds if not more. The store brand for almost everything is just as good. Got rid of one car and signed up for zip car in case we ever need two. This are just examples, and PPs gave some other good ones. It's doable and you will feel rich once that expense is gone. We are anxiously waiting for the LO to start preschool in the fall...

[Anonymous]

"We also requested no gifts, but savings bond and $$ into her college funds in leiu of presents for bdays/holidays. "

Tacky, tacky, tacky.

[Anonymous]

Agree w/ last PP - very tacky to ask for money/gift cards/bonds for gift giving occassions.

"I had no idea until I got pregnant, personally. Who talks about daycare costs besides parents & parents-to-be?"

Also agree with this. It's truly shocking to find out how much it costs and - in many areas - how HARD it is to find good care. I know many people who love their in-home care. But I visited several when pregnant and found none near me that seemed somewhere I'd want to leave my child all day long. (We ended up going the nannyshare route.) There are no centers near me for infants - although that too wasn't an option I was thrilled about.

For some of us who could possibly "afford" to stay home (by living more on the edge and by skipping retirement savings for a few years), I'd also add that part of the stress with "affording" the kid is that most of my friends SAH and so the type of experience I'd like for DD to have is more colored by that than if the vast majority of everyone I knew were using daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The biggest cost will be childcare.. After that college. Until they're school age, you can use 2nd hand clothing and things.

I've wondered how some people who have low income continue to breed. It's dawning on me that they never think about it - educating their children. They just do it. So why can't we, college educated folks, just do it, too?

If you are "educated folk," surely you know the issue is more complex than just that.

[Anonymous]

Also, try to resist the urge to spend a ton of money on gear. I bought my rocker and changing table off of craigslist. ($100 for both.) A friend loaned me a crib, high chair, swing, pack & play and bouncy chair. I got bed linens, towels and accessories (mobile, lamp, etc.) and baby monitor from friends at my shower. I bought one stroller off of craigslist and borrowed another one. i didn't have the "dream" nursery, but it was simple and cute and I didn't spend much on it. (I bought a generous gift card for the friend who loaned me all the stuff.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The biggest cost will be childcare.. After that college. Until they're school age, you can use 2nd hand clothing and things.

I've wondered how some people who have low income continue to breed. It's dawning on me that they never think about it - educating their children. They just do it. So why can't we, college educated folks, just do it, too?

If you are "educated folk," surely you know the issue is more complex than just that.

LOL!

[Anonymous]

"I've wondered how some people who have low income continue to breed. It's dawning on me that they never think about it - educating their children. They just do it. So why can't we, college educated folks, just do it, too?"

No.bragging.rights.

[Anonymous]

I will say, I do find it surprising when friends of mine pop up all, pregnant and super happy. Then, sure enough, several months into the pregnancy they call me FREAKING OUT about childcare. And these are planned pregnancies. Seriously? When considering whether to TTC, you never bothered to research childcare costs? Hell, forget costs, think about availability. It really, really surprises me, but it appears to be very common.

I do think there is a lot of magical thinking people do surrounding money and personal finance, so this is really just one part of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:did you just realize that childcare in this area is highly expensive?

I had no idea until I got pregnant, personally. Who talks about daycare costs besides parents & parents-to-be? I guess that makes me an uneducated idiot who got knocked up without considering all the consequences

Well...yes, kind of.

I'm guessing for other major life decisions you had an idea of the cost or researched such costs beforehand? Buying a house, getting married, etc. Why in the world would you get pregnant (assuming this isn't a huge surprise baby) without an idea of the costs associated with have such baby?

[Anonymous]

Child care is expensive.. no argument there. However, I think some parents get swayed into thinking the most expensive centers *must* be the best. A pregnant co-worker of mine something to the effect of "you get what you pay for". However, I disagree. My son goes to a church run center where infant care is about $1350/ month. Other fancier centers in the neighborhood charge $1800-2000+/ month. Sure, the fancier centers look beautiful, but I feel 100% happy with his care.

I also second that you get a TON second hand. Yes, a beautiful overstuffed gliding chair would have been my first choice if $$ were no issue, but when I saw a perfectly lovely wooden glider for $40 at a garage sale, I bought it and it's served as well. I got a crib from a trusted co-worker for$100 (technically, you are not "supposed to buy a used crib, but if you can use a crib for multiple children, I don't see why you can't use a crib from someone you know would use it for a 3rd child if they were planning to have one....) DS is now 17 mos old, and aside from day care, diapers and breast pump, our actual costs for baby stuff have been under $1000. We've even managed to save $10K in his 529 plan. We make $140K a year, so we're not poor but we're not super high income earners for this area.