Why don't more people kill themselves?

[Anonymous]

Between the nonstop whining of my child, health and chronic pain issues, the fact that my husband would rather watch tv than spend time with me, and I spend most of my time working for a job I completely despise but must keep in order to keep the constantly whining kid and nonloving husband in food and shelter, I just don't want to do it anymore. There isn't a single part of my day that I enjoy. Why go on? I cannot think of a single reason, except that some family members would probably feel guilty. But once I'm gone I won't know about that, so who cares? Why am I holding back?

[Anonymous]

Because things can and do get better. Maybe not tomorrow, but they will. Hang in there. Some day you will look back and be glad you didn't do it yourself. Please talk to someone you trust if you need to. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

Because there's a part of you that realizes you're depressed and that your unhappiness doesn't have to be permanent.

[Anonymous]

Because of your child. Don't do that to a small person who can't understand.

I often feel the same. I'm so fucking tired of taking care of myself and everyone else. Sometimes I just want to run away and assume a new identity. It seems impossible to do that nowadays, what with our Big Brother society and lack of privacy. But I still wish I could!

This too shall pass. But don't let it pass by offing yourself. You deserve better.

[Anonymous]

Please please please please call someone, either the suicide hotline, or a therapist or a friend. This post makes me nervous. I will say this: my mom never took care of herself mental-health-wise, and she was always depressed. Many years ago, she tried to kill herself while I was visiting. I look back and figure that she probably did it while I was there to ensure that the proper channels took place, i.e that I would have her committed and to make sure she was forced into getting help. And that's what happened. (I love my dad dearly, but he's lost when it comes to this stuff). So skip ahead a few years, she's taken control over her own mental health and she's the happiest person. She really is. Nothing changed in her life but her. And now we let her in our families and she has full access to her grandchildren. It can be done - you just have to take the responsibility of getting help. I know it can be hard, but please pick up the phone and reach out.
The national suicide hotline is 1-800-273-8255.

[Anonymous]

You're probably programmed to try to continue. I think it's human nature to want to live, a least for most people. Kind of like why do the worker ants and bees continue despite their position? Because that is what they do. Go to bed early and get a good night's rest. You will feel better tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

One good reason is that parental suicide is very likely to cause your child to live a life drowning in the symptoms of PTSD. If you care at all about your child, you wouldn't do that to them.

See your doctor. Get a divorce, if needed. And wait for the whining stage to pass.

[Anonymous]

Chronic pain can make a person so weary and bitter; I know that from my own experience. I was in a huge accident 20 years ago and have lived with daily pain for half my life. I've learned that it's difficult for other people to understand what that entails, so I just shut up about it.

Nothing but empathy here, OP. But hang in. You can do this. Take extra good care of yourself. That's a start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Chronic pain can make a person so weary and bitter; I know that from my own experience. I was in a huge accident 20 years ago and have lived with daily pain for half my life. I've learned that it's difficult for other people to understand what that entails, so I just shut up about it.

Nothing but empathy here, OP. But hang in. You can do this. Take extra good care of yourself. That's a start.

A guy I know who investigates unnatural causes deaths says they look into whether someone has health issues, including chronic pain, when trying to determine if it was suicide.

[Anonymous]

OP, in answer to your question, I don't know. I feel the same way for different reasons. So far, my only reason for continuing has been because I worry about my 4-YO without me. So far that has been enough to tether me to "this mortal coil," and I hope it will continue to be enough. Prayers and good wishes, OP.

[Anonymous]

You're holding back because you love your children and because in your heart you know that suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. Please get help. You can defeat the darkness. Call 1-800-SUICIDE; do whatever you need to do to stay alive, even if it feels like you're not being a good mother in the process. Leave before you kill yourself. At least if you leave, you have the option of coming back one day.

Who will care? Certainly your children. No matter how bad you feel now, no matter how difficult they are now, you are not irrelevant to your kids. If you don't think that they will miss you now, please consider what their lives will be like in the future. My daughter, who is now four, misses her dad and asks more and more probing questions about her father and his death. She doesn't yet know that he took his own life, but one day she will, I won't be able to skirt the issue forever. That knowledge will hurt her, and will affect her for the rest of her life. And I really don't have any good answer to the questions that I dread: "Mama, didn't Papa love me enough to tough it out, to stay here to see me and help me grow? to teach me how to play soccer? to give the stinkeye to my first boyfriend? to give me away at my wedding? to give me a pep talk when my boss is on my a$$? to give me a hug just because?"

There are no easy answers to these questions.

Hang on sister. Find someone to talk to, but in the meantime, please, for your babies' sake, tie a knot and hang on for dear life. Please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please please please please call someone, either the suicide hotline, or a therapist or a friend. This post makes me nervous. I will say this: my mom never took care of herself mental-health-wise, and she was always depressed. Many years ago, she tried to kill herself while I was visiting. I look back and figure that she probably did it while I was there to ensure that the proper channels took place, i.e that I would have her committed and to make sure she was forced into getting help. And that's what happened. (I love my dad dearly, but he's lost when it comes to this stuff). So skip ahead a few years, she's taken control over her own mental health and she's the happiest person. She really is. Nothing changed in her life but her. And now we let her in our families and she has full access to her grandchildren. It can be done - you just have to take the responsibility of getting help. I know it can be hard, but please pick up the phone and reach out.
The national suicide hotline is 1-800-273-8255.

OP, please follow this excellent advice.

Does your doctor know how you have been feeling? What you are feeling is your _depression_ talking, there IS treatment available.

Please get help, we are pulling for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're holding back because you love your children and because in your heart you know that suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. Please get help. You can defeat the darkness. Call 1-800-SUICIDE; do whatever you need to do to stay alive, even if it feels like you're not being a good mother in the process. Leave before you kill yourself. At least if you leave, you have the option of coming back one day.

Who will care? Certainly your children. No matter how bad you feel now, no matter how difficult they are now, you are not irrelevant to your kids. If you don't think that they will miss you now, please consider what their lives will be like in the future. My daughter, who is now four, misses her dad and asks more and more probing questions about her father and his death. She doesn't yet know that he took his own life, but one day she will, I won't be able to skirt the issue forever. That knowledge will hurt her, and will affect her for the rest of her life. And I really don't have any good answer to the questions that I dread: "Mama, didn't Papa love me enough to tough it out, to stay here to see me and help me grow? to teach me how to play soccer? to give the stinkeye to my first boyfriend? to give me away at my wedding? to give me a pep talk when my boss is on my a$$? to give me a hug just because?"

There are no easy answers to these questions.

Hang on sister. Find someone to talk to, but in the meantime, please, for your babies' sake, tie a knot and hang on for dear life. Please.

Your post made me so sad. I'm so sorry for your and your daughter's loss.

[Anonymous]

Seriously? You think that killing yourself will make it all better?

There are so many ways to fix it before you resort to that!

If you love DH, marriage counseling. If you don't divorce him.

If you like your job, talk to your boss. If you don't just quit.

Now, on the kid... If you spent more quality time with the little one maybe the whining would stop. And, honestly, the whining is more in your head than the kid him/herself. If you were in a better mood you would see the whining in a different perspective and you would have more tolerance to deal with it.

Sit down and make a plan. Giving up is not the way to go.

[Anonymous]

OP,
Are you on antidepressants? Please call a suicide hotline. Please report back to us here and let us know how you are doing.

How old is your child? Is this a tough age?

PP: Just quit a job? NO WAY! It is harder for unemployed to get hired. Find a new job, yes.