DH waking me up in the morning

[Anonymous]

We are TTC and I suspect that this will become a non-issue when/if we finally conceive, but here goes anyway. DH has to wake up for work six days per week at about 5:15-5:30. I do not have to wake up this early or even close to it. No matter what I do and how much I beg him, he always wakes me up at some point during the morning before he leaves. It is driving me crazy and I am at my end with this. He does have ADD and I don't know if that is part of it, but it's like he just can't go one morning without waking me up. Either forgetting to shut the bedroom door/forgetting to shut the light off when he leaves the bedroom, which wakes me up because of the light and sound, or even actually waking me up himself because he has a question for me or forgot to tell me something that he deems important. I'd say it's about 50/50 between the two. Meanwhile, I can't tell you the last time I slept past 7 am - usually far earlier - on a Saturday or other days when I don't have to wake up early, which REALLY pisses me off. It totally sucks that his job requires him to get up that early and I would not want to do that myself. However, I work very hard at my own job and am always tired, which needs to stop. I have yelled, screamed, pleaded, explained nicely... no matter what I do, the result is the same. I make sure to remind him right before going to bed that he cannot wake me up.. doesn't matter. What can I do about this?

[Anonymous]

Why cant he wake you up?

[Anonymous]

Because I don't want to wake up at 6 am on a Saturday if I can sleep later! Or on a day I work from home if I can sleep until 8-9.

[Anonymous]

Try separate bedrooms at least a few nights a week so that you're guaranteed sleep. I wouldn't bet on this becoming a "non-issue" when you finally conceive. My DW only got crankier about more snoring the more pregnant she became.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, about "my" -- not "more" -- snoring.

[Anonymous]

OP, Try a completely different approach, drop the subject and communication ALL together about being a problem for you.
Instead use sticky notes on light switch, bathroom mirror and door or all three.

Lights Off , Shut the Door , Thank you, I am Enjoying my sleep and Hope you have a nice day too Love you ...and it won't hurt to use his favor color sticky notes.
Do you have a sound machine? Have him turn that on when he gets up (another sticky note next to this machine) or use the bathroom fan. This will filter some noise but only if you prefer that over foot steps etc...

These were suggestions on "How To Talk To Your Child" book I read. The above is what I would do if I was in your situation.

It could be his ADD or power struggle or just plain tired on his part??? You need your sleep and you need it now (and you will conceive sooner with better sleep!).

BL

[Anonymous]

If you yelled and screamed at me, I'd probably wake you up too.

[Anonymous]

This would drive me up a wall. Invest in earplugs and
a really good sleep mask--I love the one from Brookstone. But at some point if DH can't respect your clearly expressed wishes you might want to put TTC on hold for a bit and seek some couples counseling or some therapy for his ADD if that's the cause. Your need for sleep when you can get it is only going to intensify once a baby comes. Don't kid yourself that it gets easier because it only gets harder and the emotions are totally heightened. If this is a big issue (and it would be for me) deal with it now.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible he is craving time with you (but dealing with it in a horribly indirect way)? If he is getting up 2-3 hours earlier than you - does that mean he is going to bed 2-3 hours earlier than you? DH and I did this when we first got married - I went to bed later than him and got up later than him. When I got pregnant, I got really tired and started going to bed earlier with him. We both found it nice to go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time, so much so that I still get up at 5am with him even though I could sleep a couple hours later if I wanted. That time together before falling asleep is so great - we cuddle, we talk - it really brings us closer together. And it is great starting off the day together.

[Anonymous]

I'd do things like putting in a night light so he doesn't have to turn on the light. I like the post-it notes ideas, too.

The other thing is, if you can't beat them, join them. Try going to be earlier as well.

[Anonymous]

I go to bed way earlier than my DH, he leaves a little nightlight by his side of the bed so he doesn't wake me up and I get up earlier and do the same.

It's consideration for your partner.

[Anonymous]

I tried to set an example for my DH. When I have to get up earlier than he does, I get all my clothing and things that I will need for the next morning and put them in the bathroom or the laundry room. That way, I just have to slip out of bed and close the door behind me. I feel that that is the most thoughtful thing to do. Unfortunately, my DH doesn't get the hint. He gets up, has his coffee, comes back to bedroom and proceeds to turn his closet light on and rifle around in there. Then, he rummages through his drawers or through the laundry basket. He has never, ever tried to set his clothes out the night before. He does not have the excuse of ADD. It's just plain thoughtlessness. If i've forgotten something in my closet I walk into the closet then turn the light on and close the door.

[Anonymous]

Why will all of this magically stop after you conceive? That makes no sense. Is he waking you for sex?

[Anonymous]

How old are you? 15?

[Anonymous]

This is just silly. You SHARE a room, right? It sounds to me like you think it is just YOUR room and you are allowing him to occupy space in it. That says a lot about your marriage and relationship...these are things you should consider before continuing TTC.