My child attends an elite college. It is overrated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Elite colleges are overrated! We live in Montgomery County. We are surrounded by neighbors who went to Ivy Leagues, HYP, Duke , etc. None of them are any different from those who didn’t go to fancy colleges. Their lifestyle is not any better than other neighbors who went to state schools or no name schools. They work at the same places, go to the same restaurants, shop at the same stores. There is no difference. Plus there isn’t anything remotely impressive about the neighbors who went to fancy schools. Stop this nonsense about elitism and grow up!

The problem with this argument is that you and your neighbors are the ones successful enough to afford your neighborhood. Maybe 50% of HYP grads can afford similar, and only 5% of state flagships grads can. There are many more flagship grads, so average HYP and 95%-tile flagship grads coexist in this affluent community, maybe even as a 50-50% mix. Just because there are many who didn't go to fancy colleges living in a fancy community doesn't mean those colleges produce successful graduates at the same rate as elite schools.

Great point. It's like internet people who claim they "prefer" hard-working state school alums over Ivy alums , when you know darn well maybe a handful of bottom of the class Ivy Leaguers have ever worked in their office (if they're not making up the whole thing).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:On the flip side, I work in finance and I routinely come across very highly paid people (high six or seven figures) who did not go to “top” colleges.

I’m Gen X but even most of the millennials we employ don’t come from tippy top colleges. Some do but most don’t.

So I’m always wondering why my experience of the world is so different from what “they” say. I made over 800k last year. I consider myself to be Avery successful. No one cares where I went to college.

But do you want to chat with people in the high $ party you are going that you spent 4 years of your youth at Harvard or you went to Podunk University?

What kinds of parties do you go to where people ask that??

I haven’t been asked about college in years. I’m in my 40s.

seriously. if i'm at a party and someone asks me where i went to college, i'll know something has gone very, very wrong. so boring.

This is an indication of someone who went to Harvard just to prove their self worth. Obviously, they have deeper issues at play.

I am a professor, and had a colleague like this. When the students did skits at the end of the year, they imitated faculty members. When they played him, they started every lecture with, "Did I mention that I went to Harvard?" Even the kids thought he was pathetic!

Actually, it has been my experience that most people who went to Ivy league schools find a way to bring it up in every conversation. My friends and I joke about it all the time.

You are going to boring parties.

Agreed. Know a guy who went to HBS and is reasonably successful ($300k). He always makes a point for people to know that he went there. Very tiresome and boring!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On the flip side, I work in finance and I routinely come across very highly paid people (high six or seven figures) who did not go to “top” colleges.

I’m Gen X but even most of the millennials we employ don’t come from tippy top colleges. Some do but most don’t.

So I’m always wondering why my experience of the world is so different from what “they” say. I made over 800k last year. I consider myself to be Avery successful. No one cares where I went to college.

But do you want to chat with people in the high $ party you are going that you spent 4 years of your youth at Harvard or you went to Podunk University?

What kinds of parties do you go to where people ask that??

I haven’t been asked about college in years. I’m in my 40s.

seriously. if i'm at a party and someone asks me where i went to college, i'll know something has gone very, very wrong. so boring.

This is an indication of someone who went to Harvard just to prove their self worth. Obviously, they have deeper issues at play.

I am a professor, and had a colleague like this. When the students did skits at the end of the year, they imitated faculty members. When they played him, they started every lecture with, "Did I mention that I went to Harvard?" Even the kids thought he was pathetic!

Actually, it has been my experience that most people who went to Ivy league schools find a way to bring it up in every conversation. My friends and I joke about it all the time.

You are going to boring parties.

Agreed. Know a guy who went to HBS and is reasonably successful ($300k). He always makes a point for people to know that he went there. Very tiresome and boring!

Know a guy who went to Arundel Community College and is reasonably successful ($300k). He always makes a point for people to know that he went there. Very tiresome and boring!

[Anonymous]

Thanks for humble brag OP. Go ahead and pull your kid out of their elite school and put in state school.

[Anonymous]

I know a college drop out who invented a computer, blah blah. I'm sure we can all play the "I know some successful undereducated person" game.

Where are we really going here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's too early to tell or maybe she just didn't capitalize on all the opportunities (I suspect very few do) but it most certainly has not changed her life. The thing I do notice is overall a higher percentage of deeply committed pre-med students than my son's peers at the state flagship. Other than that there's this laughable idea that an elite college is a golden ticket to a $150,000 job offer and a rich spouse and that's just not accurate. The plum six-figure job offers are scarce and go to the connected and elbowy overachievers with perfect grades. And generally the rich socialize with the rich. If you want your child in that orbit they need to be in that orbit by 9th grade at some ritzy prep or boarding school.

I have a niece at Cornell who is close with my daughter and she has had a similar experience. At Cornell the rich are in the rich kid sororities and fraternities.

A few years back we were caught up in the admissions frenzy but in retrospect it seems so nutty. I'm [now] far more impressed with a parent who tells me their kid is at a less selective school but just got into medical school than some Ivy League parent who tells me their ubiquitous kid is going into "consulting" for $60,000 a year or some second rate grad program.

You sound like a dunce trying to appear smart. Don't use words from your new word-a-day calendar if you don't really understand them.

ubiquitous : present, appearing, or found everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's too early to tell or maybe she just didn't capitalize on all the opportunities (I suspect very few do) but it most certainly has not changed her life. The thing I do notice is overall a higher percentage of deeply committed pre-med students than my son's peers at the state flagship. Other than that there's this laughable idea that an elite college is a golden ticket to a $150,000 job offer and a rich spouse and that's just not accurate. The plum six-figure job offers are scarce and go to the connected and elbowy overachievers with perfect grades. And generally the rich socialize with the rich. If you want your child in that orbit they need to be in that orbit by 9th grade at some ritzy prep or boarding school.

I have a niece at Cornell who is close with my daughter and she has had a similar experience. At Cornell the rich are in the rich kid sororities and fraternities.

A few years back we were caught up in the admissions frenzy but in retrospect it seems so nutty. I'm [now] far more impressed with a parent who tells me their kid is at a less selective school but just got into medical school than some Ivy League parent who tells me their ubiquitous kid is going into "consulting" for $60,000 a year or some second rate grad program.

You sound like a dunce trying to appear smart. Don't use words from your new word-a-day calendar if you don't really understand them.

ubiquitous : present, appearing, or found everywhere.

It sounds more like PP wrote in his native language and had google do the translation for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's too early to tell or maybe she just didn't capitalize on all the opportunities (I suspect very few do) but it most certainly has not changed her life. The thing I do notice is overall a higher percentage of deeply committed pre-med students than my son's peers at the state flagship. Other than that there's this laughable idea that an elite college is a golden ticket to a $150,000 job offer and a rich spouse and that's just not accurate. The plum six-figure job offers are scarce and go to the connected and elbowy overachievers with perfect grades. And generally the rich socialize with the rich. If you want your child in that orbit they need to be in that orbit by 9th grade at some ritzy prep or boarding school.

I have a niece at Cornell who is close with my daughter and she has had a similar experience. At Cornell the rich are in the rich kid sororities and fraternities.

A few years back we were caught up in the admissions frenzy but in retrospect it seems so nutty. I'm [now] far more impressed with a parent who tells me their kid is at a less selective school but just got into medical school than some Ivy League parent who tells me their ubiquitous kid is going into "consulting" for $60,000 a year or some second rate grad program.

You are soon right. I have made the same observations. The big ticket schools are not a golden ticket to a successful job. The debt is an anchor to weigh students into crushing debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's too early to tell or maybe she just didn't capitalize on all the opportunities (I suspect very few do) but it most certainly has not changed her life. The thing I do notice is overall a higher percentage of deeply committed pre-med students than my son's peers at the state flagship. Other than that there's this laughable idea that an elite college is a golden ticket to a $150,000 job offer and a rich spouse and that's just not accurate. The plum six-figure job offers are scarce and go to the connected and elbowy overachievers with perfect grades. And generally the rich socialize with the rich. If you want your child in that orbit they need to be in that orbit by 9th grade at some ritzy prep or boarding school.

I have a niece at Cornell who is close with my daughter and she has had a similar experience. At Cornell the rich are in the rich kid sororities and fraternities.

A few years back we were caught up in the admissions frenzy but in retrospect it seems so nutty. I'm [now] far more impressed with a parent who tells me their kid is at a less selective school but just got into medical school than some Ivy League parent who tells me their ubiquitous kid is going into "consulting" for $60,000 a year or some second rate grad program.

You are soon right. I have made the same observations. The big ticket schools are not a golden ticket to a successful job. The debt is an anchor to weigh students into crushing debt.

Except everyone on DCUM seems to fully fund their child's elite college experience...so no crushing debt.

[Anonymous]

"Everyone" ?

Then why are so many parents asking where they can get merit aid, or explaining that they turned down a higher ranked college because they opted for the cheaper state flagship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is true. There are some schools that are elite enough that you can use that brand to your advantage when you leave (Harvard) but the reality is, all those rigorous application processes do is allow the schools to discriminate in favor of the genteel, inbred elites, while letting a few plebeians in who know their place: to increase test scores, to feel inferior to the rich kids, and, to one day be the brainpower behind (but never the leadership of) major institutions in this country.

. I know, I know, you will say, but look at Mr. Free Lunch Program, he is a CEO. But the dirty secret of these universities is he would have been just as successful at a state u as an elite one, because that kind of drive is unstoppable. He used them and they used him to keep the myth alive that elite Universities are worth it for the kind of people who need to take out college loans.

Remeber that for the supperrich, of course, it matters not a bit where they send their kids. Will Blue Ivy be any less powerful if she attends Stanford vs Hamilton?

He used everyone and they used him. That is life. If you can do it. Could someone from a lower school make it over Harvard? Of course. Happens every day. But Harvard opens more doors and creates more options. What you do with those options is up to the student. But if you can afford it -- more options is better than less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is true. There are some schools that are elite enough that you can use that brand to your advantage when you leave (Harvard) but the reality is, all those rigorous application processes do is allow the schools to discriminate in favor of the genteel, inbred elites, while letting a few plebeians in who know their place: to increase test scores, to feel inferior to the rich kids, and, to one day be the brainpower behind (but never the leadership of) major institutions in this country.

. I know, I know, you will say, but look at Mr. Free Lunch Program, he is a CEO. But the dirty secret of these universities is he would have been just as successful at a state u as an elite one, because that kind of drive is unstoppable. He used them and they used him to keep the myth alive that elite Universities are worth it for the kind of people who need to take out college loans.

Remeber that for the supperrich, of course, it matters not a bit where they send their kids. Will Blue Ivy be any less powerful if she attends Stanford vs Hamilton?

He used everyone and they used him. That is life. If you can do it. Could someone from a lower school make it over Harvard? Of course. Happens every day. But Harvard opens more doors and creates more options. What you do with those options is up to the student. But if you can afford it -- more options is better than less.[/quote

Yes, a good fraction of fortune 500 CEOs did not graduate from elite colleges, proving that one can be successful regardless of his educational background. But the percentage of CEO Ivy grads far exceed the ratio of Ivy grads among all college grads. What makes a person CEO material is a combination of intelligence, education, life experience, family wealth, and plain luck. Not knowing whether your child has "the right stuff", where would you send him for the best odds if you can afford it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a college drop out who invented a computer, blah blah. I'm sure we can all play the "I know some successful undereducated person" game.

Where are we really going here.

Or we all have the, "I know a Harvard MBA who is a total idiot" story.

[Anonymous]

This has nothing to do with the school

[Anonymous]

So much depends on the major. I did well at a snobby prep school and Ivy college and in my low respect field make very little money and could have gone to any college and ended up at the same spot. I didn’t come from money so if I weren’t married I don’t know what I’d do.