Not having a second / vacation home makes me feel poor & depressed. Anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously?! We bo ught WAY under our means (650K) and bought a 350K waterfront second home you probably own a 1.1 million dollar home. Worth more. That's the trade off at any income.

Just curious - where?

We live close in VA and bought waterfront in Westmoreland County.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The hassle responses sound like coping from people who can't afford a second home, especially when wedded to "we prefer to rent" and/or "we prefer to fly to xy and z." Read: We own nothing and flush what money we have away on rootless and fleeting consumerism.

If second homes were such a hassle why does everyone successful have one. Few of my husband's college pals are multi-millionaires who have secretaries booking their 15 minute phone calls to friends and family weeks in advance (not an exaggeration) and they somehow manage the "hassle" of second and third homes and pier-a-terres.

I can think of few things douchier than having a secretary book a phone call with a friend or family member. That sort of person may have money, but they're otherwise a loser by any other measure

This is why I love DCUM. I’d hang up if a “secretary” answered the phone

[Anonymous]

rEaL eStaE iS sUcH a HaSsLe!!

Family I estate attorney: Your late parents left behind a $1.7M vacation property in Jackson Hole, which is owned free and clear...

Family II estate attorney: Your late parents left behind a scrapbook with their international airline tickets, hotel receipts, tourist trap food menus, and photos from their travels...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The hassle responses sound like coping from people who can't afford a second home, especially when wedded to "we prefer to rent" and/or "we prefer to fly to xy and z." Read: We own nothing and flush what money we have away on rootless and fleeting consumerism.

If second homes were such a hassle why does everyone successful have one. Few of my husband's college pals are multi-millionaires who have secretaries booking their 15 minute phone calls to friends and family weeks in advance (not an exaggeration) and they somehow manage the "hassle" of second and third homes and pier-a-terres.

That’s because there are two different types of second homes. There are the millionaire ones that are in great condition and require almost no upkeep and then there are the others which are pushing the limits from a cash perspective which usually means that these homes need some work and upkeep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:rEaL eStaE iS sUcH a HaSsLe!!

Family I estate attorney: Your late parents left behind a $1.7M vacation property in Jackson Hole, which is owned free and clear...

Family II estate attorney: Your late parents left behind a scrapbook with their international airline tickets, hotel receipts, tourist trap food menus, and photos from their travels...

Family 2 led a good life and has functioning children who can survive independent of their parents. Family 1, and you, sound like coddle DB who failed to fly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:rEaL eStaE iS sUcH a HaSsLe!!

Family I estate attorney: Your late parents left behind a $1.7M vacation property in Jackson Hole, which is owned free and clear...

Family II estate attorney: Your late parents left behind a scrapbook with their international airline tickets, hotel receipts, tourist trap food menus, and photos from their travels...

Family 2 led a good life and has functioning children who can survive independent of their parents. Family 1, and you, sound like coddle DB who failed to fly.

this is you and your children when told your late parents blew everything "traveling" and all you get is a scrapbook -- ESPECIALLY when you see your 40- and 50-something peers getting inheritances

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a second home for ten years. I was so glad to see it sell -- I thought the kids would have happy memories of the place, they sort of did, but it would have been far better to have a different vacation each year, so each would be unique and memorable on the individual merits. A little more work to keep finding a new vacation but that is the fun part. Paying the bills all year or trying to rent it out between times was NOT the fun part. Driving there every time was not the fun part. Cleaning the place and taking trash to the dump after every trip was NOT the fun part.
It was a wasteful expense and I would never do it again, pandemic or not.

Wasteful? Since this thread began one year ago, real estate everywhere popped +25%. In some of the vacation destinations it's up +30%. The rich always get richer and relax in second homes doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With seemingly everyone who has one gone from their main residence right now, anyone else feel this way? Be honest.

Because honestly, this week I can't stop feeling "poor" (not literally, relatively) because we don't have a place to escape to. Relying on whimsical invites to friends' and family vacation homes at this point in our life just feels so low and desperate. I don't care how much or how little financial sense it makes, we need a second home. I'm so over being trapped at home all year, fishing for invitations, or even renting for a week at a time. Perhaps this is the precise feeling that motivates so many to buy a second home?

just remind yourself that second homes are a real drain on the finances, especially with the new SALT deduction cap. consider yourself lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yesterday, I washed windows and today I am trimming 60 shrubs on my property while my DH does other projects. And this is on my primary home. I have zero interest in maintaining a 2nd house. If you want to live at the beach, move.

I feel the same way. We've rented our favorite cabin for three separate trips this summer and that is good enough for me.

+1 as someone who owned a second vacation home, I was glad to see it go. Way too much time and money spent on it. I'd rather go to new and different places for vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yesterday, I washed windows and today I am trimming 60 shrubs on my property while my DH does other projects. And this is on my primary home. I have zero interest in maintaining a 2nd house. If you want to live at the beach, move.

I feel the same way. We've rented our favorite cabin for three separate trips this summer and that is good enough for me.

+1 as someone who owned a second vacation home, I was glad to see it go. Way too much time and money spent on it. I'd rather go to new and different places for vacation.

Immediate family inherited and then promptly sold a "dumpy" home plus acreage out west. 15 years later that same dumpy property is worth at least 5x. So they could have skied and vacationed at that property for the last 15 years and be millionaires, instead they mostly pissed away the $600k.

[Anonymous]

Was so there with OP so I did something about it: just closed on a compound in Nantucket with a main house, a pool house (w 2 bedrooms) and a guest house. Headed up with my decorator to get to work making it “me.”

Such glee.

Ta Ta.

[Anonymous]

I am happy in my one SFH, though it is a pain to maintain. I would love to have a three bedroom and 3 bathroom condo with a large living area, a dining room and a great kitchen with a huge pantry. Anything else is just a pain in the butt.

[Anonymous]

I can afford a second home and don't want one because I don't want the upkeep or the obligation to go to the same place all the time. Maybe when I'm older I'll want that, but in my 30s with little kids and demanding jobs, the last thing I want is one more thing to take care of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can afford a second home and don't want one because I don't want the upkeep or the obligation to go to the same place all the time. Maybe when I'm older I'll want that, but in my 30s with little kids and demanding jobs, the last thing I want is one more thing to take care of.

P.S. a PP who indicated that all rich people have multiple homes may be right. We can afford one, but we're Biglaw/consulting rich, not hedge fund principal rich. If one of us didn't work (and could thus head out there with the kids all the time) and we could afford to not only buy a second home but pay someone else to maintain it for us year round, we would do it, because then it would make more sense. But with two busy careers we would barely have time to enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:rEaL eStaE iS sUcH a HaSsLe!!

Family I estate attorney: Your late parents left behind a $1.7M vacation property in Jackson Hole, which is owned free and clear...

Family II estate attorney: Your late parents left behind a scrapbook with their international airline tickets, hotel receipts, tourist trap food menus, and photos from their travels...

True story:

Uncle: Would you like my beachfront house in Florida that was featured in Architectural Digest?

FIL: No.

According to my MIL, FIL thought it’ll be too much of a hassle and he doesn’t like humidity.

We actually have a second home but it’s because DS goes to a boarding school near there. I prefer travel and not being tied down to a second home for vacations.