Separate finances: how to deal if one spouse isn't saving enough for retirement

[Anonymous]

Pay for the day to day costs yourself and let him save the extra in his own retirement savings.

[Anonymous]

NP here. OP, can your kids use your DH's free college benefit? If so, that's a saving of $100k+ per each of your kids. If might allow you to suspend your own 529 contributions.

Is there enough space in the budget for him to max out a Roth IRA on top of the 401k?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should reflect on the fact that you seem jealous of an ex-wife with a serious mental illness/personality disorder because she has new outfits and goes on vacation. You wouldn't have to pay me to feel nothing but pity for her. You are frugal, congratulations. The ex has nothing to do with you, and a judge could order her to pay $1200 and she could never pay a dime.

You need to reframe. Think about how this ex-wife is frittering away her own potential retirement. Think about how if she had the kids, your husband would be paying her $1200+. I think it would be worse to see her flaunting this stuff if he were paying her and didn't get to see his kids as much.