How to deal with in-laws who wont listen but want to watch 1 year old?

[Anonymous]

Would it be in you budget to bring someone (like maybe the younger family member you mentioned) with you?

Honestly OP I think your sister sounds like a nightmare and your ILs far from ideal sitters for a week. Since you feel trapped though, and won't consider alternatives such as DH staying home, (I do relate to the feeling of being an emotional hostage), I think this is your best option. Your sister might still be pissed but whatever because you will have someone to care for your dd whenever you have wedding stuff to attend to so she can't argue for any perceived slight.

My two cents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I skipped my brother's wedding when I had a 1 year old. It was expensive, and he was participating in stupid family drama that always surrounds our family weddings. I just noped out. No regrets.

And my sister stood up in my wedding 3 days after giving birth...everyone's family's and relationships are different. I couldn't have imagined getting married without my sister there, and she couldn't have imagined missing my wedding. To this day, she gets sad about the other events surrounding the wedding that she missed. And our family has plenty of wedding drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s reasonable for you not to want them looking after her and taking her out of state. But tbh I wouldn’t have planned a trip wo my kid in these circumstances.

This
I don't think you sound anxious.
I would never have planned a trip like this. Is it a wedding?

Yes. It is my sisters wedding in Europe. I do not want to go. But I feel like I need to.

So, you go and your husband stays. Why is him attending your sister's wedding more important than taking care of your child?

This is actually a good point. It makes more sense for her husband to stay home. Many people would decline an invitation like that entirely (even from a sibling) when they have a young child. It's totally reasonable for only one of you to go - good compromise.

For the record, I am on OPs side, but PP what the heck? Many people would decline their sister's wedding when they have a young child???? A 1 day old, maybe. Someone said it earlier but it's not the baby Jesus!

I know! You can always have another one! Amirite?

[Anonymous]

I do not think you are being unreasonable at all. Either bringing the baby or insisting the in laws stay in your house. Why on earth are you in laws so hell bent on going against your wishes?? Clearly staying at home would be much better for your baby. Don’t they see that? If the child were older, like 3 or so, sure, take the kid for a fun adventure at the lake house or whatever. But 13 months is so young!

Maybe I am more anxious than you, but I wouldn’t leave a 13 month old for a week anyway. Bring the baby and get a sitter for the wedding and rehearsal or whatever. Your sister demands all attention on her for a full 6 days?? The relationship is doomed anyway, just bring the baby.

[Anonymous]

Take the one year old and find d a sitter there just for the wedding or have dh stay with the baby during the ceremony. Don't family members want to see the baby?

Don't leave the child with your in laws, that sounds like a disaster.

[Anonymous]

DH stays home or take the baby. Your sister will understand when she has a one year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s reasonable for you not to want them looking after her and taking her out of state. But tbh I wouldn’t have planned a trip wo my kid in these circumstances.

This
I don't think you sound anxious.
I would never have planned a trip like this. Is it a wedding?

Yes. It is my sisters wedding in Europe. I do not want to go. But I feel like I need to.

So, you go and your husband stays. Why is him attending your sister's wedding more important than taking care of your child?

This is actually a good point. It makes more sense for her husband to stay home. Many people would decline an invitation like that entirely (even from a sibling) when they have a young child. It's totally reasonable for only one of you to go - good compromise.

For the record, I am on OPs side, but PP what the heck? Many people would decline their sister's wedding when they have a young child???? A 1 day old, maybe. Someone said it earlier but it's not the baby Jesus!

I know! You can always have another one! Amirite?

Nor is this bride Kate Middleton.

Not everyone with amone year old is CJ mfortable lesving the child for a week, and that's ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s reasonable for you not to want them looking after her and taking her out of state. But tbh I wouldn’t have planned a trip wo my kid in these circumstances.

This
I don't think you sound anxious.
I would never have planned a trip like this. Is it a wedding?

Yes. It is my sisters wedding in Europe. I do not want to go. But I feel like I need to.

So, you go and your husband stays. Why is him attending your sister's wedding more important than taking care of your child?

This is actually a good point. It makes more sense for her husband to stay home. Many people would decline an invitation like that entirely (even from a sibling) when they have a young child. It's totally reasonable for only one of you to go - good compromise.

Not to mention many many 13 month olds are still nursing several times a day. All of mine were. I could not have left them for more than a 1/2 day at that age.

For the record, I am on OPs side, but PP what the heck? Many people would decline their sister's wedding when they have a young child???? A 1 day old, maybe. Someone said it earlier but it's not the baby Jesus!

I know! You can always have another one! Amirite?

Nor is this bride Kate Middleton.

Not everyone with amone year old is CJ mfortable lesving the child for a week, and that's ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s reasonable for you not to want them looking after her and taking her out of state. But tbh I wouldn’t have planned a trip wo my kid in these circumstances.

This
I don't think you sound anxious.
I would never have planned a trip like this. Is it a wedding?

Yes. It is my sisters wedding in Europe. I do not want to go. But I feel like I need to.

So, you go and your husband stays. Why is him attending your sister's wedding more important than taking care of your child?

This is actually a good point. It makes more sense for her husband to stay home. Many people would decline an invitation like that entirely (even from a sibling) when they have a young child. It's totally reasonable for only one of you to go - good compromise.

For the record, I am on OPs side, but PP what the heck? Many people would decline their sister's wedding when they have a young child???? A 1 day old, maybe. Someone said it earlier but it's not the baby Jesus!

I know! You can always have another one! Amirite?

Nor is this bride Kate Middleton.

Not everyone with amone year old is CJ mfortable lesving the child for a week, and that's ok.

Not to mention many many 13 month olds are still nursing several times a day. All of mine were. I could not have left them for more than a 1/2 day at that age.