Angel Tree gift question -- what is going on with the gifts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last year, I gave two Kindle devices as presents for kids in my Angel Tree. Now, since I had purchased them, I received a notification when the Kindles were first activated -- not on Xmas morning mind you, but several months later. Like, the following October for one, and August for the other. Curious about what is going on -- do you think the parents (or other people?) are selling these gifts or something, rather than giving the devices to kids in need?

Yeah, I would think they probably sold it for cash. It was probably one of the things they had of value.

I think anytime you give these kind of expensive gifts you have to assume that they will get sold eventually. Families with multiple kids likely receive multiple devices so I can't fault the parents because they probably need the cash to cover expenses.

Why ask for them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gift requests are getting expensive!
The problem I see sometime is that these families have better cell phone and plans than me!

They do. I'm amazed at my students' phones at my Title One school. By middle school all of them have better phones than I do. I always buy books for the Angel Tree along with the toy. I don't buy electronics.

Chances are there is no internet or laptops at home. So they use the phone, on a data plan (or using free wi-fi) in place of that. Careful before you judge.

They don't need the latest iPhone for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, why is it our place to judge what these kids want? I saw plenty of angel tree tags for things like art supplies, play kitchen toys, and board books alongside things like xbox headphones, gift cards, and drones. For older kids - presumably they see the things that other kids their age are getting and they want them, too. I don't fault them for that! It's a Christmas WISH. I bought the Xbox headphones and I deal with policing my own kids' wish lists.

This is exactly how I feel. And I am not a fan of the "EVEN my kids don't have those things" sentiment. I get that you (general) are saying that you wouldn't buy that stuff for your kids, but it sounds like somehow, these poor kids are less deserving of a luxury charity gift. Like they should know their place and ask for a Jacob's ladder when all the kids around them have the cool stuff Further, I might buy a wish list item for a kid that I wouldn't buy for my own kid because charity and generosity for others is the spirit of the season and I want to model delayed gratification and kindness to my kid.

But really, I imagine many of your kids are just like mine: they have small wish lists with smaller things because they ALREADY have the big stuff or grandparents/allowances/savings let them acquire that stuff.

If you can't afford it spiritually (or monetarily), then just don't pick a tag and be quiet about it. All your grousing makes you (general) seem like a grinchy and mean spirited. And a little elitist.

Agreed. It comes across as trying to help in a "look-at-me-helping" kind of way but still wanting the "poors" to know their place-- beneath the giver and their children.

You could look at it that way, or you could be more rational and realize most people don't have $500 to blow on an iPad for a stranger's child. If the kids already have all of the smaller items and just need the iPad then maybe Angel tree type services aren't really necessary. Most people think they are helping people who would otherwise have nothing for Christmas. But it sounds like the recipients are doing pretty well they're just hoping for a massive windfall. I'm sure an animal shelter might be more appreciative of a donation in that case.

Well stated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These kids are told to put down a wish. And they’re putting down what they wish for. Can you blame them?!

I remember one year there was a kid who put down a pretty extensive toy and I was willing to get it, and it completely broke my heart when I saw the next thing on the list. A blanket. A kid who has very little is told to ask for something either really need a really want and they say a freaking blanket. I’m willing to bet that the majority if not all of the people on this website, have children who would never think to ask for a blanket. Because you have closets full of them, and your children have never been cold.

So have some perspective. They may be asking for something you think is extravagant or you think they don’t need but remember you take for granted things that they’ll never have.

I think your example is proving the point. If the kids don't have blankets, that's what someone should buy, not the expensive toy.

A child is allowed to wish. You are heartless, really.

I'm bothered by the idea of that child waking up to nothing on Christmas morning. I guess you're not worried about that, do you even like kids?

Are you out there directly educating poor children about how to express their Christmas dreams? If not, this is just online masturbation about how much better you are, and it's got all the effect of a fart in the wind for those kids. You are doing this for you, not them.

Bingo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people are mistaking the Angel Tree with everyday charity. The needs are supposed to be taken care of from the stuff we do year round with regular donations and service work. The angel tree is not for needs, it for wishes and dreams of chilren.

Their parents should be savvy enough to know that you may end up with nothing if you aim too high. Do you really think kids are being showered with Apple products from Angel Trees every year? Some of you are hopelessly naive.

DP. This would seem to be a self-correcting problem if you are right. They don't need your help in figuring it out.

There's always going to be a new family to test the theory. I guess you don't care if kids sit home crying because they got nothing for Xmas. But then according to you weirdos they already have so much their parents will just get something from their birthday stash to spread out the gifts more evenly over the year. What is the point of the Angel Tree again?

No, I just think you verbally salivating over how uppity the poors are getting is just disgusting. That's all I am talking about. You and your problems.

+1

Disgusting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I stopped doing angel tree because the gifts were too expensive. They wanted things that I didn’t even buy my children. My church now doing boxes for children in different countries!

THIS.

Hopefully not those creepy shoeboxes. They make the kids go to a weird evangelical church service to get the gift.

Not true. It's a wonderful way that some Christians share with those in need.

DP: One person’s “wonderful “ is another person’s creepy proselytizing.

https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/case-against-operation-christmas-child-15358823

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/nov/08/christmas-evangelical-christians-samaritans-purse-children-muslim-countries

Yup. It’s unethical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gift requests are getting expensive!
The problem I see sometime is that these families have better cell phone and plans than me!

This is a really tired trope about people living in poverty. Yes many families on free lunch have a family member with a smart phone because they get it from work, it’s their whole family’s internet plan instead of having WiFi at home, they get hand me down phones from relatives, or are eligible for special discounted plans with internet for people below a certain income level.

I am sure there are some people who are greedy and entitled who take advantage of angel trees and similar programs- but there are many more kids who deserve some joy in their lives. It’s really gross and uninformed to decide that the only people who deserve to benefit from charity are those whose appearance and possessions match your idea of what poverty looks like.

I am guessing you have never lived in poverty or even close to it. There are so many things going on that lead people who are in poverty with no hope of getting out to make choices that don’t seem to make sense to people with a better safety net or more stability. I have a HS friend who has been on and off of SNAP, WIC, and subsidized housing her whole life - she grew up that way and still lives that way. Her kids’ clothes look clean, new, and name brand while I sit in my $1.5M house dressing my kids in hand me downs and Target sale stuff. Do you know why? If you are poor and depend on government programs and charity, you scour the TJ Max, Marshall’s, Burlington, and Macy’s sale racks for Nike, Under Armor, and Ralph Lauren clothes because you are constantly fighting the stereotype that you are a neglectful parent. You know your kids get free lunch and can’t do the activities and vacation their friends can - but kids have ways of talking around that stuff. They can’t hide dirty, torn, ill fitting clothes as easily. So yes, some poor kids have nice clothes because a good first impression might keep CPS from meddling in their family and “cool” clothes might keep their kid from getting bullied.

Come on. You are being ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I stopped doing angel tree because the gifts were too expensive. They wanted things that I didn’t even buy my children. My church now doing boxes for children in different countries!

THIS.

Hopefully not those creepy shoeboxes. They make the kids go to a weird evangelical church service to get the gift.

Not true. It's a wonderful way that some Christians share with those in need.

DP: One person’s “wonderful “ is another person’s creepy proselytizing.

https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/case-against-operation-christmas-child-15358823

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/nov/08/christmas-evangelical-christians-samaritans-purse-children-muslim-countries

The author's use of the word "scheme" reflects her very strong bias.

NP. I don't really agree the articles, but that's just how British people use the word scheme. It doesn't have the connotations it does in the US.

PP here. Ok. Thanks for info--I didn't know that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gift requests are getting expensive!
The problem I see sometime is that these families have better cell phone and plans than me!

This is a really tired trope about people living in poverty. Yes many families on free lunch have a family member with a smart phone because they get it from work, it’s their whole family’s internet plan instead of having WiFi at home, they get hand me down phones from relatives, or are eligible for special discounted plans with internet for people below a certain income level.

I am sure there are some people who are greedy and entitled who take advantage of angel trees and similar programs- but there are many more kids who deserve some joy in their lives. It’s really gross and uninformed to decide that the only people who deserve to benefit from charity are those whose appearance and possessions match your idea of what poverty looks like.

I am guessing you have never lived in poverty or even close to it. There are so many things going on that lead people who are in poverty with no hope of getting out to make choices that don’t seem to make sense to people with a better safety net or more stability. I have a HS friend who has been on and off of SNAP, WIC, and subsidized housing her whole life - she grew up that way and still lives that way. Her kids’ clothes look clean, new, and name brand while I sit in my $1.5M house dressing my kids in hand me downs and Target sale stuff. Do you know why? If you are poor and depend on government programs and charity, you scour the TJ Max, Marshall’s, Burlington, and Macy’s sale racks for Nike, Under Armor, and Ralph Lauren clothes because you are constantly fighting the stereotype that you are a neglectful parent. You know your kids get free lunch and can’t do the activities and vacation their friends can - but kids have ways of talking around that stuff. They can’t hide dirty, torn, ill fitting clothes as easily. So yes, some poor kids have nice clothes because a good first impression might keep CPS from meddling in their family and “cool” clothes might keep their kid from getting bullied.

Well said! I’d add that not everyone who is now poor has always been poor. COVID deaths impacted a lot of families— especially when adult breadwinners and household members with pensions impacted entire households and even extended families. You have no idea how long some people have been treasuring their well-used things. You also have no idea how carefully people shop, or what resources extended family members may have — and generously share.

I notice that PP hasn’t come back to say how they know anything about other people’s cell phone plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people are mistaking the Angel Tree with everyday charity. The needs are supposed to be taken care of from the stuff we do year round with regular donations and service work. The angel tree is not for needs, it for wishes and dreams of chilren.

Their parents should be savvy enough to know that you may end up with nothing if you aim too high. Do you really think kids are being showered with Apple products from Angel Trees every year? Some of you are hopelessly naive.

DP. This would seem to be a self-correcting problem if you are right. They don't need your help in figuring it out.

There's always going to be a new family to test the theory. I guess you don't care if kids sit home crying because they got nothing for Xmas. But then according to you weirdos they already have so much their parents will just get something from their birthday stash to spread out the gifts more evenly over the year. What is the point of the Angel Tree again?

No, I just think you verbally salivating over how uppity the poors are getting is just disgusting. That's all I am talking about. You and your problems.

Nobody is doing that. You're a hammer looking for a nail.

The nail is your attitude, and sure, I'll be the hammer for that.

My attitude? I'm someone who actually participates in these types of charities. I'll bet you've never lifted a finger and are just here on your soapbox spewing nonsense and think you're lecturing the evil rich. I don't even think you understand how Angel Tree works.

And you are just as wrong about that as you have been about other things in this thread. Congratulations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people are mistaking the Angel Tree with everyday charity. The needs are supposed to be taken care of from the stuff we do year round with regular donations and service work. The angel tree is not for needs, it for wishes and dreams of chilren.

Their parents should be savvy enough to know that you may end up with nothing if you aim too high. Do you really think kids are being showered with Apple products from Angel Trees every year? Some of you are hopelessly naive.

DP. This would seem to be a self-correcting problem if you are right. They don't need your help in figuring it out.

There's always going to be a new family to test the theory. I guess you don't care if kids sit home crying because they got nothing for Xmas. But then according to you weirdos they already have so much their parents will just get something from their birthday stash to spread out the gifts more evenly over the year. What is the point of the Angel Tree again?

No, I just think you verbally salivating over how uppity the poors are getting is just disgusting. That's all I am talking about. You and your problems.

Nobody is doing that. You're a hammer looking for a nail.

The nail is your attitude, and sure, I'll be the hammer for that.

My attitude? I'm someone who actually participates in these types of charities. I'll bet you've never lifted a finger and are just here on your soapbox spewing nonsense and think you're lecturing the evil rich. I don't even think you understand how Angel Tree works.

And you are just as wrong about that as you have been about other things in this thread. Congratulations.

I can tell most of you preaching in here have zero experience with Angel Tree lists. Maybe an odd few have an iPad or iPhone on the list, and most people will sadly skip that tag, but most have really basic toys on them. Things I have bought recently: soccer ball, Lego, Barbie, Fisher Price Far toys, books, building blocks, all manner of coats, fleeces, jackets, sweatpants, Paw Patrol toys and on and on. What have you bought? Have you ever pulled a tag one time? Put your money where your mouth is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people are mistaking the Angel Tree with everyday charity. The needs are supposed to be taken care of from the stuff we do year round with regular donations and service work. The angel tree is not for needs, it for wishes and dreams of chilren.

Their parents should be savvy enough to know that you may end up with nothing if you aim too high. Do you really think kids are being showered with Apple products from Angel Trees every year? Some of you are hopelessly naive.

DP. This would seem to be a self-correcting problem if you are right. They don't need your help in figuring it out.

There's always going to be a new family to test the theory. I guess you don't care if kids sit home crying because they got nothing for Xmas. But then according to you weirdos they already have so much their parents will just get something from their birthday stash to spread out the gifts more evenly over the year. What is the point of the Angel Tree again?

No, I just think you verbally salivating over how uppity the poors are getting is just disgusting. That's all I am talking about. You and your problems.

+1

Disgusting

Again, you have never participated in an Angel Tree in any fashion. You have no idea what you're even talking about.

[Anonymous]

Don't be dumb. Nobody has said that this is all that is on Angel Tree requests. It is on some requests, yes, but what people have objected to about you are your gross assumptions and mischaracterizations about some requests. You can't back those up, yet you feel quite comfortable being a dick about it.

That's the claim -- that you are being a dick. The evidence are your posts. Got it?

[Anonymous]

The challenge for me is when there is only one thing requested, and it’s not in my budget or otherwise doesn’t make sense to get. A couple of years ago we were assigned a girl (from a local transitional housing coop, not angel tree) and the only thing she asked for was the lol dollhouse. That thing is huge and really impractical for a family in transitional housing. It was also around $200, which was not in our budget. (We are in a better position financially than many in the areas, but not wealthy at all, by DCUM standards or otherwise.). My daughter had begged for the same dollhouse and we said no for the same reasons. We ended up getting the girl other lol themed things - a doll and something else. I can’t remember what - hoping that we were close to something she would want.

I don’t mind kids wishing for the moon, but if we can’t give them that, I’d like to know what else they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people are mistaking the Angel Tree with everyday charity. The needs are supposed to be taken care of from the stuff we do year round with regular donations and service work. The angel tree is not for needs, it for wishes and dreams of chilren.

Their parents should be savvy enough to know that you may end up with nothing if you aim too high. Do you really think kids are being showered with Apple products from Angel Trees every year? Some of you are hopelessly naive.

DP. This would seem to be a self-correcting problem if you are right. They don't need your help in figuring it out.

There's always going to be a new family to test the theory. I guess you don't care if kids sit home crying because they got nothing for Xmas. But then according to you weirdos they already have so much their parents will just get something from their birthday stash to spread out the gifts more evenly over the year. What is the point of the Angel Tree again?

No, I just think you verbally salivating over how uppity the poors are getting is just disgusting. That's all I am talking about. You and your problems.

Nobody is doing that. You're a hammer looking for a nail.

The nail is your attitude, and sure, I'll be the hammer for that.

My attitude? I'm someone who actually participates in these types of charities. I'll bet you've never lifted a finger and are just here on your soapbox spewing nonsense and think you're lecturing the evil rich. I don't even think you understand how Angel Tree works.

And you are just as wrong about that as you have been about other things in this thread. Congratulations.

I can tell most of you preaching in here have zero experience with Angel Tree lists. Maybe an odd few have an iPad or iPhone on the list, and most people will sadly skip that tag, but most have really basic toys on them. Things I have bought recently: soccer ball, Lego, Barbie, Fisher Price Far toys, books, building blocks, all manner of coats, fleeces, jackets, sweatpants, Paw Patrol toys and on and on. What have you bought? Have you ever pulled a tag one time? Put your money where your mouth is.

------------------------

No. PP, this is just from the first thread, and there are plenty more after that:

Anonymous wrote:We don't do Angel Tree anymore. The gift requests have become ridiculous, and frankly, entitled. We donate and give to Toys for Tots. I'm not interested in buying an iPad for a 12 year old.

Anonymous wrote:How old were the kids?

I know my niece got a tablet as a gift and her parents didn't fully activate it until nearly a year later when she was older. She could still read books and play games through the Google Play store instead of linking it up to their Amazon account. Maybe that happened here?

My Angel Tree kids wishes are: iPad Pro, Apple Pen, iPhone 8, hover board, drone, and gift cards. They are 8 and 10, a boy and girl. I think this may be my last year with doing Angel Tree. All of my friends who do it have similar items on their lists from the kids they were given/chosen.

My nieces and nephews who are ages 8-11 don't even have any of those items on their lists other than the hover board, which was all the rage like 2 years ago.

Anonymous wrote:DH planned to grab a tag from the Angel Tree at his office. When he looked at the tags, he literally could not find something with a gift under $200. That is insane.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, why is it our place to judge what these kids want? I saw plenty of angel tree tags for things like art supplies, play kitchen toys, and board books alongside things like xbox headphones, gift cards, and drones. For older kids - presumably they see the things that other kids their age are getting and they want them, too. I don't fault them for that! It's a Christmas WISH. I bought the Xbox headphones and I deal with policing my own kids' wish lists.

Just because people have different experiences than you doesn't mean they are all lying.