What is #boymom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such a bizarre post. I have one of each and I do believe there are innate differences just as their are socialized differences.

I can say that my boy - who is an average typical boy - has never done some of the thing posted on here (blood, broken things in the house, run around restaurants)! But then again neither has my girl. So maybe that is just good parenting...

Your child has never fallen down and scraped his leg?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a boy who is older, and who plays with a lot of girls, and yes - there are (generalized) differences! Things like risk taking, style of play, physicality, noise, when certain types of maturity occur, etc... It's real. It's not all kids, but it's a generalization that bears weight in lots of cases. So I guess I am a #boymom.

Would I ever write that hashtag on Facebook or something? No way. That seems icky. Like showing a photo of my new concealer and saying #onlyforladiez - I mean sure, mostly for ladies, but that's not the entire truth!

When I've noted differences aloud to closer friends or neighbors, I usually say "I hate to generalize" or "This probably is just my experience" and 9 out of 10 times the other person say "Oh. No. I see it. It's real." They just don't hashtag it!

Nope. It's socialization.

No it is not. My son almost exclusively plays with cars and trucks and trains. He has 4 girl cousins and when we go to their houses he will dig through the toy bins, past the dolls and Frozen gear, until he finds a car.

We have baby dolls and he never plays with it. But when his cousins come over they do play it.

Why is that anecdote evidence of anything? Couldn't that be socialized behavior?

Meaning what? He's a boy and he has a natural interest in cars and trucks. My nieces do not.

What's a natural interest? Nothing you said points to the idea that's it's innate rather than learned.

It is absolutely innate. I didn't teach my son what to play with. I didnt buy him only cars and trucks. I didn't teach him to crash his cars.

Did you raise him in a vacuum? No, okay, your individual example is meaningless.

There likely are biological differences between boys and girls, but all these examples of "my boy likes cars" or "my girl is nurturing toward her dolls" don't support or refute that. In fact, they are likely the result of socialization. Stop with your personal anecdotes as proof of differences; they make you look stupid.

[Anonymous]

I truly believe that #boymom is a defense mechanism propagated by mothers of only boys who deep in their heart of hearts wish (or wished) they had a girl. #oneofeachmom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such a dumb thread. First is SAHMs vs. WOHMs, but now we've devolved to boy moms vs girl moms?? You're better than this DCUM.

No, DCUM isn't better than this.

Right. She must be new here. This is nothin'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I truly believe that #boymom is a defense mechanism propagated by mothers of only boys who deep in their heart of hearts wish (or wished) they had a girl. #oneofeachmom

I think moms of just boys sense this condescending pity coming from other moms of both or just girls and wear the moniker with pride to try to fight back.

#oneofeachmom with a #boymom sister in law

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I truly believe that #boymom is a defense mechanism propagated by mothers of only boys who deep in their heart of hearts wish (or wished) they had a girl. #oneofeachmom

I think moms of just boys sense this condescending pity coming from other moms of both or just girls and wear the moniker with pride to try to fight back.

#oneofeachmom with a #boymom sister in law

Wow, looking for any reason to hate your SIL. #womensuck

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I truly believe that #boymom is a defense mechanism propagated by mothers of only boys who deep in their heart of hearts wish (or wished) they had a girl. #oneofeachmom

I think moms of just boys sense this condescending pity coming from other moms of both or just girls and wear the moniker with pride to try to fight back.

#oneofeachmom with a #boymom sister in law

Wow, looking for any reason to hate your SIL. #womensuck

Well just in case you genuinely misunderstood me and aren't trying to bait me I was actually sticking up for her.

She loves her boys and doesn't feel like her life is lacking at all but posters like pp insist on tis weird narrative that she is one of those poor women that didn't have a daughter. She regularly gets asked about having another baby not because they are wondering about whether their family feels complete but because people can't fathom that a lack of a girl doesn't mean a hole in her heart. It's disrespectful and stupid and so she occasionally makes jokes about being a #boymom. Not because she is pining for a girl but because everyone thinks she is!

I only pointed out the contrast because I wanted to show that there are people who experience both and can comprehend that other people are just happy with the kids they have and to show I'm not a mom of just boys since all of them are being labeled defensive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I truly believe that #boymom is a defense mechanism propagated by mothers of only boys who deep in their heart of hearts wish (or wished) they had a girl. #oneofeachmom

I hope you're not serious, please stop teaching hate you're no better than a homophobe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I truly believe that #boymom is a defense mechanism propagated by mothers of only boys who deep in their heart of hearts wish (or wished) they had a girl. #oneofeachmom

I think moms of just boys sense this condescending pity coming from other moms of both or just girls and wear the moniker with pride to try to fight back.

#oneofeachmom with a #boymom sister in law

I think this is right. I have only one child, a boy, but people were visibly disappointed when I was pregnant and told them I was expecting a boy. I even had at least one person say, "That's ok; maybe the next one will be a girl."

[Anonymous]

The differences are not innate. Especially when people say oh my boys like cars and my girls like dolls. From the beginning of time, those toys were not available for children. These are socialized expectations and preferences. period.

There have been many studies that show even when people think that they are doing gender-neutral raising, they are failing. From small things, like making a male infant wait longer when crying before coming to comfort him. It's so unconscious and so ingrained we don't even realize it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I truly believe that #boymom is a defense mechanism propagated by mothers of only boys who deep in their heart of hearts wish (or wished) they had a girl. #oneofeachmom

+1

[Anonymous]

I've never used the hashtag #girlmom but I can see myself doing it if my daughter did something so stereotypically "girly" that it made sense to poke fun at it. Like if she walked downstairs in a princess shirt, a tutu, plastic Cinderella high heels and had a tea party with all her barbie dolls - that would be a classic #girlmom picture. I imagine a #boymom moment would be when your twin boys are filthy from playing in a mud puddle and one of them stole the other one's hot wheels car and got punched.

[Anonymous]

See, i would love if these hashtags were used for stuff their kids did that were THEM being THEM and not some stereotypical picture of them.
Example:

Girl building a wooden boxcar with tools and grease on her #girlmom

Boy baking up some cupcakes with frosting and wearing an apron #boymom

[Anonymous]

Growing up, we were friends with plenty of families of just boys, just girls, or a combo, with a few onlies thrown in. We played on the playground, at the pool, and at preschool with no crazy parental issues. Funny how previous generations didn't feel the need to make a hashtag and a group therapy session out of every little thing.