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holding boys back?
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Anonymous
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I have two comments. One is to add this topic to your list of items to check on when looking for schools. The information on this web site is so anecdotal ... how many redshirted boys are there REALLY at the schools you are considering? At my son's private school here in Virginia, there is only one 7 year old in K (from a total of 32 kids across two classes), and SHE didn't turn 7 until March. She's a lovely child who would NEVER bully anyone. IF redshirting is as prevalent as folks fear, there ARE schools who do it less than others ... do your homework.
My other comment is that parents need to relax a bit. You really cannot control every aspect of your child's path to adulthood. It is hard to accept, but all children will have the occassional bad experience at school, no matter how carefully you choose their school. The kind of bullying I would fear at private schools is the more insidious kind, particularly among girls, that relates to being subtlely excluded on the basis of such things as how wealthy your parents are, how well you dress, and where your family "summers" ... that is a GROSS overgeneralization of private school kids, but I think it is more of a concern than little girls being pushed around on the playground by unruly redshirted boys!! |
Anonymous
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My child was injured (required stitches on the face) at school by a "redshirted" boy. It's not always best to hold kids back as it can magnify behavioral problems and/or learning issues in some cases. Many times, the oldest and most advanced kids in the class are expected to be self-directed in school. They receive less attention on school work from the teacher becuase they already know the material being covered. The other kids receive more attention from the teacher to actually learn what they are meant to be learning in K. If the older kids are the type that can entertain themselves or help others, rather than acting out when bored, it may be a good fit for redshirting.
The redshirted kids in our class seem bored. And, they seem to get into trouble a lot. Probably not the best choice to hold these particular kids back. |
Anonymous
| Would those who think that redshirting my child is your business like to pay the tuition for K-12, pay for college tuition, take care of clothing or feeding, take care of the doctor's and dentist's appointments...the list goes on? Regardless of what "perceived" impact redshirting has on your oh-so-dear little one, no one in their right mind is going to sacrifice the well-being of his/her child for the sake of yours. Call it selfish, gaming, or whatever you will. The (legal) decisions that I make about raising my child is none of your business, whether you decide to dip your nose in it or not. Find some way to mitigate the "perceived" risk to your child. No amount of whining or justifying on this board is going to change the minds of those who've decided to give their children an extra year. |
Anonymous
| What a charmer. |
Anonymous
Wasn't my goal to charm you. Reality check was the goal. |
Anonymous
Consider me hit square in the face with the reality that some people will always be obnoxious, self-centered and feel "legally" entitled to do as they please. [And by the way, because I am dealing with the issue in the public schools, I do pay tuition for other people -- K-12 and college. And if the kids are going private and have learning disabilities that make them unable to start on time, then I may be paying for part of that too, the way the system "legally" works, as you probably have made yourself all too well-aware. And so my way of mitigating the damage to my kid will be to fight to change the fact that you can "legally" do as you please. Which is sad that it has to come to that because it could harm those that genuinely may need more flexibility.] |
Anonymous
I'm crying a river. 
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Anonymous
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If your child's preschool teachers and pediatrician said they thought your child was ready to start kindergarten, would you still hold her/him back? If you did, and your child's kindergarten teacher suggested moving your child ahead to first grade, would you consent?
No one is suggesting pushing a child who isn't ready. But some of the parents who insist they're doing what's best for their child seem to be pretty arbitrary in deciding that waiting is better. |
Anonymous
This doesn't make a lot of sense to me. If a child begins Kindergarten at age 6 yrs and 1, 2 or 3 mos., presumably the child was in preK the year before, and preschool or daycare or at home in the years before that. Just like their classmates were. And they were all doing the same stuff as their younger classmates were (water table, stringing beads, marshmallow sculpture, finger painting). Where exactly are these older children learning all the academic material ahead of time, rendering them "bored" when the Kindergarten teacher and 1st grade teacher starts teaching them to read, add, and so on? |
Anonymous
| What is your evidence that parents are making arbitrary decisions??? Do you really know enough parents that you have your own representative sample? Do you trust that media stories on this issue always use a representative sample, as opposed to the usual fearmongering to capture as much attention as possible? I am astounded that people on this forum are so sure they make only the best decisions for their own children, but somehow doubt that other parents are not doing the same. We each do the best we can for our kids, do we not? And for those who make less than optimal decisions because they are looking out for the public good ... I don't believe that for a second!! |
Anonymous
And this is the attitude of many of the people who are gaming the system for the "benefit" of their children. The same self-centered and selfish "me-first" preception that their kid won't be the youngest, so let's make them the oldest and the rest of the world be damned. Thanks for making the point that others have been tactfully trying to express, You make it a lot easier for everyone to fully understand the situation. |
Anonymous
| PP -- I guess it hasn't occurred to you that the people against the trend in "red-shirting" ARE just trying to do the best for their children. Sorry you think it is against the best interests of your particular child. We see something that is creating problems for our children and are trying to change it. If I can't do what I think is best for my children because of what you are doing with yours, then there will be a clash. As for looking out for "the public good," if others see what is best for my kid as better for the public at large, you are right, it is not solely altruism -- it just builds a stronger case for what I think if best for my children. |
Anonymous
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"And this is the attitude of many of the people who are gaming the system for the "benefit" of their children. "
There you go again. One person's insensitive posting is attributed to "many people" ... |
Anonymous
This is my first time posting on this board. I have a three-year-old with a Jan. bday, so it probably won't even affect us all that much. HOWEVER, I agree, that is one of the most selfish, horrid explanations I've ever seen for holding a child back! OMG. I wonder if she stops at red lights or thinks that's for suckers too. Or pays her taxes. Or does any other thing that makes this a civil society in which we all bear some sort of responsibility for basic caring for others. Sadly, I bet it's true for the majority of people who do this. They would just never express it so brutally. Thanks god my son is in the 95th percentile for height!!! |
Anonymous
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"I agree, that is one of the most selfish, horrid explanations I've ever seen for holding a child back! OMG. I wonder if she stops at red lights or thinks that's for suckers too. Or pays her taxes. Or does any other thing that makes this a civil society in which we all bear some sort of responsibility for basic caring for others."
The person you are responding to was rude and obnoxious. But that person never gave the reason for why s/he redshirted DC ... it might have been for reasons that even you would agree were legitimate. Maybe not. Some people get angry and write postings like that one because they are tired of being second guessed and having to defend their decisions. |