I feel sorry for moms of only boys

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really depends on the child, not gender. My MIL and I have a good relationship. Her other son, who lived near her, basically abandoned her when she was starting to get dementia. My husband was supportive, but I am the one who choose to move her here and be her caretaker for 9 months in our home prior to getting her into a nursing home. I do all her shopping, manage her finances, visit weekly and make sure everything is kept up at the nursing home. The bigger issue is who they marry to me.

Oh goodness I hope I get someone like you as a DIL! You are doing a wonderful job!

I want you as a DIL too! Mom with two boys here.

This is why moms of girls feel sorry for moms of only boys. Moms of girls are not currently hoping for a wonderful dil like you guys are, obviously already worried about your future relationship with your sons. Moms of girls have the luxury of not worrying due to our culture of "a son is a son until he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter for life." They may be blindsided when their daughters grow up and defy cultural expectations, and you may be pleasantly surprised when your sons do too; or not. You won't know for 20-30 years. It is what it is. And I don't like worrying about things I can't control. I'd rather enjoy the beauty now.

So just by having a girl you are guaranteed a wonderful relationship with her? News to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really depends on the child, not gender. My MIL and I have a good relationship. Her other son, who lived near her, basically abandoned her when she was starting to get dementia. My husband was supportive, but I am the one who choose to move her here and be her caretaker for 9 months in our home prior to getting her into a nursing home. I do all her shopping, manage her finances, visit weekly and make sure everything is kept up at the nursing home. The bigger issue is who they marry to me.

Oh goodness I hope I get someone like you as a DIL! You are doing a wonderful job!

I want you as a DIL too! Mom with two boys here.

This is why moms of girls feel sorry for moms of only boys. Moms of girls are not currently hoping for a wonderful dil like you guys are, obviously already worried about your future relationship with your sons. Moms of girls have the luxury of not worrying due to our culture of "a son is a son until he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter for life." They may be blindsided when their daughters grow up and defy cultural expectations, and you may be pleasantly surprised when your sons do too; or not. You won't know for 20-30 years. It is what it is. And I don't like worrying about things I can't control. I'd rather enjoy the beauty now.

So just by having a girl you are guaranteed a wonderful relationship with her? News to me.

No, you are not guaranteed anything. But you have the luxury of an expectation that she will be there for you. But that's all. Just an expectation.

[Anonymous]

That is just stupid. Yes, if you raise your kids to be in old fashioned gender roles where girls have to take care of everybody and boys get to work and slack off at home, then it would be bad to have boys. But seriously, who does that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is just stupid. Yes, if you raise your kids to be in old fashioned gender roles where girls have to take care of everybody and boys get to work and slack off at home, then it would be bad to have boys. But seriously, who does that?

Maybe you don't. But your son could marry someone who was raised in that environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really depends on the child, not gender. My MIL and I have a good relationship. Her other son, who lived near her, basically abandoned her when she was starting to get dementia. My husband was supportive, but I am the one who choose to move her here and be her caretaker for 9 months in our home prior to getting her into a nursing home. I do all her shopping, manage her finances, visit weekly and make sure everything is kept up at the nursing home. The bigger issue is who they marry to me.

Oh goodness I hope I get someone like you as a DIL! You are doing a wonderful job!

I want you as a DIL too! Mom with two boys here.

This is why moms of girls feel sorry for moms of only boys. Moms of girls are not currently hoping for a wonderful dil like you guys are, obviously already worried about your future relationship with your sons. Moms of girls have the luxury of not worrying due to our culture of "a son is a son until he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter for life." They may be blindsided when their daughters grow up and defy cultural expectations, and you may be pleasantly surprised when your sons do too; or not. You won't know for 20-30 years. It is what it is. And I don't like worrying about things I can't control. I'd rather enjoy the beauty now.

So just by having a girl you are guaranteed a wonderful relationship with her? News to me.

No, you are not guaranteed anything. But you have the luxury of an expectation that she will be there for you. But that's all. Just an expectation.

If you raise your son to not value family and your daughter the opposite, then sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is just stupid. Yes, if you raise your kids to be in old fashioned gender roles where girls have to take care of everybody and boys get to work and slack off at home, then it would be bad to have boys. But seriously, who does that?

Maybe you don't. But your son could marry someone who was raised in that environment.

Okayyy... so if my son is not raised that way, and marries someone like that, doesn't that mean it's a win win because I'll have my son AND a good DIL?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is just stupid. Yes, if you raise your kids to be in old fashioned gender roles where girls have to take care of everybody and boys get to work and slack off at home, then it would be bad to have boys. But seriously, who does that?

Maybe you don't. But your son could marry someone who was raised in that environment.

Okayyy... so if my son is not raised that way, and marries someone like that, doesn't that mean it's a win win because I'll have my son AND a good DIL?!

Sure. Wouldn't that be nice? Or, your dil was raised in a traditional gender role environment, and your son loves her so much he chooses to also live like that despite how he was raised.

[Anonymous]

Here's the solution: model good behavior.

Both my parents (mother and father) took care of their elderly parents. Paid their bills, took them to medical appointments, let them move in, etc. My siblings and I were raised in a home with our grandmothers and were taught that caring for your parents is the normal, loving thing to do.

I have four boys. You bet your ass my DH and I will model good behavior of caring for our parents. If you are family oriented, then gender shouldn't matter. My DH calls his parents at least twice a week to check on them (without any prompting from me).

This isn't rocket science, people. If you are a good parent and pleasant to be around, your male offspring will not abandon you.

[Anonymous]

I have two boys, thank god. My prayers where answered, no girl. Talking to Moms with girls I am still, so thankful, I do not have one.