Is the obsession with private schools justified?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I observed there are some students who can go to schools with sufficient quality education rather than the highest quality education.

A bright motivated kid will do well anywhere.

+1. I wonder why the richest people in the US are typically from public schools. Think about Bill Gates.

Bill Gates went to the Lakeside School, an elite private school. He also had access to early stage computers in high school, which for someone with his intellect was huge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to a neighborhood public schools for grades for K-4 or K-6 or k-8 and try independent schools that fits your child for middle or even high school. You can hire a consultant or two then. This saves 200K or so and let your child know the kids in neighborhood.

Just know that there are at least dozens of other high-achieving families that will be taking this exact approach and competing for the same spots as you.

Who cares? There are dozens and dozens of legacy kids competing for a handful of pre-k spots. If you’re applying for a spot in MS or HS it’s far more about academic potential than whether a parent went to the school and you can share during the play date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:‘Just skip the NCRC routes. Go to a neighborhood public schools for grades for K-4 or K-6 or k-8 and try independent schools that fits your child for middle or even high school. You can hire a consultant or two then. This saves 200K or so and let your child know the kids in neighborhood.’

This times infinity.

Yes!!! I wish we had gone this route with out first, and majorly regret not. Our oldest got into an awesome private school for kindergarten that ended up being a terrible fit- she is very bright and social but was masking some learning challenges (dyslexia/ input processing) that were totally unknowable when she 5 but that the school was really uncooperative with by the time she was in 2nd/3rd grade. We had to do a ton of advocating for her and pay for a lot of tutoring /private evaluations, and scrambling to find a better fit for her for 4th grade. It was a really frustrating and disheartening 4 years, and in retrospect we should have left at the end of 1st. But by then she had friends, and we did really like the teachers and thought they were trying their best.

Meanwhile, our neighbors were in a DC charter school school and had a kid with a very similar profile who got a ton of support and interventions in school.

I guess this is a niche situation, but I just think how little I knew my kid as a student when they were five and we were making a very high-cost school choice. and I also get that not every public school parent has a positive experience on this one either (but at least they aren’t paying a fortune for a bad experience!).

But the other families at your private don’t want your high-resource kid. You are the people all your private school “friends” want to avoid.

And public schools are way better resourced to deal with special needs. They prioritize this over the high fliers, because the priority is ALL kids up to a bare minimum, not all kids to their potential.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:‘Just skip the NCRC routes. Go to a neighborhood public schools for grades for K-4 or K-6 or k-8 and try independent schools that fits your child for middle or even high school. You can hire a consultant or two then. This saves 200K or so and let your child know the kids in neighborhood.’

This times infinity.

Yes!!! I wish we had gone this route with out first, and majorly regret not. Our oldest got into an awesome private school for kindergarten that ended up being a terrible fit- she is very bright and social but was masking some learning challenges (dyslexia/ input processing) that were totally unknowable when she 5 but that the school was really uncooperative with by the time she was in 2nd/3rd grade. We had to do a ton of advocating for her and pay for a lot of tutoring /private evaluations, and scrambling to find a better fit for her for 4th grade. It was a really frustrating and disheartening 4 years, and in retrospect we should have left at the end of 1st. But by then she had friends, and we did really like the teachers and thought they were trying their best.

Meanwhile, our neighbors were in a DC charter school school and had a kid with a very similar profile who got a ton of support and interventions in school.

I guess this is a niche situation, but I just think how little I knew my kid as a student when they were five and we were making a very high-cost school choice. and I also get that not every public school parent has a positive experience on this one either (but at least they aren’t paying a fortune for a bad experience!).

But the other families at your private don’t want your high-resource kid. You are the people all your private school “friends” want to avoid.

PP here: My point wasn’t about the people and I’m not actually upset that the school wasn’t able to meet my kid’s needs- they are a private school, they are very clear about what they can / can’t support. My point was that I didn’t know what my kids needs WERE when they were in kindergarten - and I think that’s true for a lot of kids! So why not start in public school and see what type of student your kid is and then you can enter private school in 3rd grade or later and find the right school to meet your kid where they’re at?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:‘Just skip the NCRC routes. Go to a neighborhood public schools for grades for K-4 or K-6 or k-8 and try independent schools that fits your child for middle or even high school. You can hire a consultant or two then. This saves 200K or so and let your child know the kids in neighborhood.’

This times infinity.

Yes!!! I wish we had gone this route with out first, and majorly regret not. Our oldest got into an awesome private school for kindergarten that ended up being a terrible fit- she is very bright and social but was masking some learning challenges (dyslexia/ input processing) that were totally unknowable when she 5 but that the school was really uncooperative with by the time she was in 2nd/3rd grade. We had to do a ton of advocating for her and pay for a lot of tutoring /private evaluations, and scrambling to find a better fit for her for 4th grade. It was a really frustrating and disheartening 4 years, and in retrospect we should have left at the end of 1st. But by then she had friends, and we did really like the teachers and thought they were trying their best.

Meanwhile, our neighbors were in a DC charter school school and had a kid with a very similar profile who got a ton of support and interventions in school.

I guess this is a niche situation, but I just think how little I knew my kid as a student when they were five and we were making a very high-cost school choice. and I also get that not every public school parent has a positive experience on this one either (but at least they aren’t paying a fortune for a bad experience!).

But the other families at your private don’t want your high-resource kid. You are the people all your private school “friends” want to avoid.

PP here: My point wasn’t about the people and I’m not actually upset that the school wasn’t able to meet my kid’s needs- they are a private school, they are very clear about what they can / can’t support. My point was that I didn’t know what my kids needs WERE when they were in kindergarten - and I think that’s true for a lot of kids! So why not start in public school and see what type of student your kid is and then you can enter private school in 3rd grade or later and find the right school to meet your kid where they’re at?

NP: because the gap widens over time. My 3 year old in private preschool understood the concepts that a kindergarten student in public school was learning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:‘Just skip the NCRC routes. Go to a neighborhood public schools for grades for K-4 or K-6 or k-8 and try independent schools that fits your child for middle or even high school. You can hire a consultant or two then. This saves 200K or so and let your child know the kids in neighborhood.’

This times infinity.

Yes!!! I wish we had gone this route with out first, and majorly regret not. Our oldest got into an awesome private school for kindergarten that ended up being a terrible fit- she is very bright and social but was masking some learning challenges (dyslexia/ input processing) that were totally unknowable when she 5 but that the school was really uncooperative with by the time she was in 2nd/3rd grade. We had to do a ton of advocating for her and pay for a lot of tutoring /private evaluations, and scrambling to find a better fit for her for 4th grade. It was a really frustrating and disheartening 4 years, and in retrospect we should have left at the end of 1st. But by then she had friends, and we did really like the teachers and thought they were trying their best.

Meanwhile, our neighbors were in a DC charter school school and had a kid with a very similar profile who got a ton of support and interventions in school.

I guess this is a niche situation, but I just think how little I knew my kid as a student when they were five and we were making a very high-cost school choice. and I also get that not every public school parent has a positive experience on this one either (but at least they aren’t paying a fortune for a bad experience!).

But the other families at your private don’t want your high-resource kid. You are the people all your private school “friends” want to avoid.

PP here: My point wasn’t about the people and I’m not actually upset that the school wasn’t able to meet my kid’s needs- they are a private school, they are very clear about what they can / can’t support. My point was that I didn’t know what my kids needs WERE when they were in kindergarten - and I think that’s true for a lot of kids! So why not start in public school and see what type of student your kid is and then you can enter private school in 3rd grade or later and find the right school to meet your kid where they’re at?

NP: because the gap widens over time. My 3 year old in private preschool understood the concepts that a kindergarten student in public school was learning.

😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:‘Just skip the NCRC routes. Go to a neighborhood public schools for grades for K-4 or K-6 or k-8 and try independent schools that fits your child for middle or even high school. You can hire a consultant or two then. This saves 200K or so and let your child know the kids in neighborhood.’

This times infinity.

Yes!!! I wish we had gone this route with out first, and majorly regret not. Our oldest got into an awesome private school for kindergarten that ended up being a terrible fit- she is very bright and social but was masking some learning challenges (dyslexia/ input processing) that were totally unknowable when she 5 but that the school was really uncooperative with by the time she was in 2nd/3rd grade. We had to do a ton of advocating for her and pay for a lot of tutoring /private evaluations, and scrambling to find a better fit for her for 4th grade. It was a really frustrating and disheartening 4 years, and in retrospect we should have left at the end of 1st. But by then she had friends, and we did really like the teachers and thought they were trying their best.

Meanwhile, our neighbors were in a DC charter school school and had a kid with a very similar profile who got a ton of support and interventions in school.

I guess this is a niche situation, but I just think how little I knew my kid as a student when they were five and we were making a very high-cost school choice. and I also get that not every public school parent has a positive experience on this one either (but at least they aren’t paying a fortune for a bad experience!).

But the other families at your private don’t want your high-resource kid. You are the people all your private school “friends” want to avoid.

PP here: My point wasn’t about the people and I’m not actually upset that the school wasn’t able to meet my kid’s needs- they are a private school, they are very clear about what they can / can’t support. My point was that I didn’t know what my kids needs WERE when they were in kindergarten - and I think that’s true for a lot of kids! So why not start in public school and see what type of student your kid is and then you can enter private school in 3rd grade or later and find the right school to meet your kid where they’re at?

NP: because the gap widens over time. My 3 year old in private preschool understood the concepts that a kindergarten student in public school was learning.

DP
I went to a top DC area private school from age 3 to 8th grade and then switched to public.

Yes in 9th grade I felt more confident than my peers. I was used to working harder. But my public school peers were perfectly capable overall and I would not say there was a massive gap. The individual differences between kids are much bigger than the difference between private vs public school kids. And among the people I went to high school with, there are many with extremely successful careers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:‘Just skip the NCRC routes. Go to a neighborhood public schools for grades for K-4 or K-6 or k-8 and try independent schools that fits your child for middle or even high school. You can hire a consultant or two then. This saves 200K or so and let your child know the kids in neighborhood.’

This times infinity.

Yes!!! I wish we had gone this route with out first, and majorly regret not. Our oldest got into an awesome private school for kindergarten that ended up being a terrible fit- she is very bright and social but was masking some learning challenges (dyslexia/ input processing) that were totally unknowable when she 5 but that the school was really uncooperative with by the time she was in 2nd/3rd grade. We had to do a ton of advocating for her and pay for a lot of tutoring /private evaluations, and scrambling to find a better fit for her for 4th grade. It was a really frustrating and disheartening 4 years, and in retrospect we should have left at the end of 1st. But by then she had friends, and we did really like the teachers and thought they were trying their best.

Meanwhile, our neighbors were in a DC charter school school and had a kid with a very similar profile who got a ton of support and interventions in school.

I guess this is a niche situation, but I just think how little I knew my kid as a student when they were five and we were making a very high-cost school choice. and I also get that not every public school parent has a positive experience on this one either (but at least they aren’t paying a fortune for a bad experience!).

But the other families at your private don’t want your high-resource kid. You are the people all your private school “friends” want to avoid.

PP here: My point wasn’t about the people and I’m not actually upset that the school wasn’t able to meet my kid’s needs- they are a private school, they are very clear about what they can / can’t support. My point was that I didn’t know what my kids needs WERE when they were in kindergarten - and I think that’s true for a lot of kids! So why not start in public school and see what type of student your kid is and then you can enter private school in 3rd grade or later and find the right school to meet your kid where they’re at?

NP: because the gap widens over time. My 3 year old in private preschool understood the concepts that a kindergarten student in public school was learning.

Uhhhh…no. I have one kid in DCPS and one in private. We always planned for our kids to both go to private for middle / high school but our oldest wanted to stay at Deale and then JR due to friend group / sports. There’s a lot to love about private, but the smart kids at JR are as smart as (some definitely smarter) than the kids at private. Also scrappier, better at self advocating, and less entitled.

So hate to break it to you, - your incredibly brilliant 3 year old at a private preschool would probably be just as brilliant in DCPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help me understand the private schools. The teachers make half of public school teachers. How many private school parents would take a job for a much lower salary?? Private schools have wonderful sales people!

Not all teachers make less.

Many have money so it doesn’t matter.

It does matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:‘Just skip the NCRC routes. Go to a neighborhood public schools for grades for K-4 or K-6 or k-8 and try independent schools that fits your child for middle or even high school. You can hire a consultant or two then. This saves 200K or so and let your child know the kids in neighborhood.’

This times infinity.

Yes!!! I wish we had gone this route with out first, and majorly regret not. Our oldest got into an awesome private school for kindergarten that ended up being a terrible fit- she is very bright and social but was masking some learning challenges (dyslexia/ input processing) that were totally unknowable when she 5 but that the school was really uncooperative with by the time she was in 2nd/3rd grade. We had to do a ton of advocating for her and pay for a lot of tutoring /private evaluations, and scrambling to find a better fit for her for 4th grade. It was a really frustrating and disheartening 4 years, and in retrospect we should have left at the end of 1st. But by then she had friends, and we did really like the teachers and thought they were trying their best.

Meanwhile, our neighbors were in a DC charter school school and had a kid with a very similar profile who got a ton of support and interventions in school.

I guess this is a niche situation, but I just think how little I knew my kid as a student when they were five and we were making a very high-cost school choice. and I also get that not every public school parent has a positive experience on this one either (but at least they aren’t paying a fortune for a bad experience!).

But the other families at your private don’t want your high-resource kid. You are the people all your private school “friends” want to avoid.

PP here: My point wasn’t about the people and I’m not actually upset that the school wasn’t able to meet my kid’s needs- they are a private school, they are very clear about what they can / can’t support. My point was that I didn’t know what my kids needs WERE when they were in kindergarten - and I think that’s true for a lot of kids! So why not start in public school and see what type of student your kid is and then you can enter private school in 3rd grade or later and find the right school to meet your kid where they’re at?

NP: because the gap widens over time. My 3 year old in private preschool understood the concepts that a kindergarten student in public school was learning.

Uhhhh…no. I have one kid in DCPS and one in private. We always planned for our kids to both go to private for middle / high school but our oldest wanted to stay at Deale and then JR due to friend group / sports. There’s a lot to love about private, but the smart kids at JR are as smart as (some definitely smarter) than the kids at private. Also scrappier, better at self advocating, and less entitled.

So hate to break it to you, - your incredibly brilliant 3 year old at a private preschool would probably be just as brilliant in DCPS.

Yes - smart, conscientious kids can do well at a solid publics in ways that truly narrow — if not eliminate — any delta with private schools, at least in terms of academics. Of course, not all have by-right/easy access to solid public schools!

[Anonymous]

School is not just about academics. I went K-12 Catholic schools. DH went to Catholic HS and college. Most of our extended families also attended Catholic schools. I wouldn’t say we were obsessed with Catholic schools, it was simply our comfort zone.

The same may be true for many non- religious private schools also. Less obsession, just more comfortable with a known environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:‘Just skip the NCRC routes. Go to a neighborhood public schools for grades for K-4 or K-6 or k-8 and try independent schools that fits your child for middle or even high school. You can hire a consultant or two then. This saves 200K or so and let your child know the kids in neighborhood.’

This times infinity.

Yes!!! I wish we had gone this route with out first, and majorly regret not. Our oldest got into an awesome private school for kindergarten that ended up being a terrible fit- she is very bright and social but was masking some learning challenges (dyslexia/ input processing) that were totally unknowable when she 5 but that the school was really uncooperative with by the time she was in 2nd/3rd grade. We had to do a ton of advocating for her and pay for a lot of tutoring /private evaluations, and scrambling to find a better fit for her for 4th grade. It was a really frustrating and disheartening 4 years, and in retrospect we should have left at the end of 1st. But by then she had friends, and we did really like the teachers and thought they were trying their best.

Meanwhile, our neighbors were in a DC charter school school and had a kid with a very similar profile who got a ton of support and interventions in school.

I guess this is a niche situation, but I just think how little I knew my kid as a student when they were five and we were making a very high-cost school choice. and I also get that not every public school parent has a positive experience on this one either (but at least they aren’t paying a fortune for a bad experience!).

But the other families at your private don’t want your high-resource kid. You are the people all your private school “friends” want to avoid.

PP here: My point wasn’t about the people and I’m not actually upset that the school wasn’t able to meet my kid’s needs- they are a private school, they are very clear about what they can / can’t support. My point was that I didn’t know what my kids needs WERE when they were in kindergarten - and I think that’s true for a lot of kids! So why not start in public school and see what type of student your kid is and then you can enter private school in 3rd grade or later and find the right school to meet your kid where they’re at?

NP: because the gap widens over time. My 3 year old in private preschool understood the concepts that a kindergarten student in public school was learning.

Omg - could your 3 year old write a sentence about the concept? Would love to the sentence!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:School is not just about academics. I went K-12 Catholic schools. DH went to Catholic HS and college. Most of our extended families also attended Catholic schools. I wouldn’t say we were obsessed with Catholic schools, it was simply our comfort zone.

The same may be true for many non- religious private schools also. Less obsession, just more comfortable with a known environment.

Many people are like what you describe. They have specific preferences, but there also some other people that have a toxic relationship with schools and the school becomes part of their identity. Moreover, they look down to other people, for example families that send their kids to less prestigious schools. And that’s what I also observe in my private school and the posts I read in DCUM. I don’t think that obsession is really justified.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People send their kids to private for all sorts of reasons. In my opinion, college admissions should be the smallest factor. If that’s your reason, it will likely not be worth it for you.

My main objective is getting high quality education. My only point is that college placement, something that is emphasized by schools as an indicator of quality of education, is extremely misleading by athletes and legacy admissions. In any case, I am not even thinking about what is going to happen 8 years down the road. I am concerned that my DC is not even learning the basics today.

Why can't your kid learn the basics? Do you spend any time working with DC?

Yes, it is supplemented outside school. They do not learn the basics at the 50k private school.

Sounds like your kid is unfocused and screwing around.

Not really. He scores perfectly in math, outside school. The thing is that math level at school is so low, it’s unbelievable. I would have preferred having good math education at the school.

So you have failed in your main objective of getting high quality education.

Why stay?

I would frame it differently. The school has failed in providing high quality education.

The school is doing exactly what these schools do. You failed to discern what that is. They are meeting their mission; you are not.

Their mission is not to teach math below the levels in Europe or Asia. That’s a failure from the school.

Their mission is to artfully curate a special, unique curriculum. If you want enforceable standards, go public.

I prefer a special unique curriculum like the ones in Europe or Asia. The curriculum in dc schools are not worth 60k.

I’m begging you, op, please update after a year in dc public schools.

Didn’t OP say “so far, so good”?

But then she’s pulling her kid?

Which is it?

Or is it fiction?

That expression was referring to the concept of searching for the best school for your kid. That in principle is a very positive goal. What I found in the process, not so good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s the thing….

People who can actually afford these schools and belong there don’t care about prestige, rigor or college admissions.

Your the rube trying to place yourself adjacent to them… which is why people will call you a striver,

The rest don’t care about those sophomoric concerns.

Do they end up with the end goal you sweat and toil over, yes but not why and how you hope it’s happening.

Inside the bubble it’s not opaque… it’s only opaque from the outside looking in.

This would have had more impact if you’d known to use “you’re” rather than “your”. When you call someone a rube, don’t make the most basic of grammatical errors.