Which all-girls school has the mean girls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For what is worth, I have three kids who have been in 12 different schools from grade K through HS, split evenly between private and public, we have found that mean/bullying behavior is mainly a private school phenomenon. We have seen it at every private school, not confined to one gender. Of course public school kids can be mean too, but they aren't able to take over the culture of a grade, and they don't have the power that the mean kids have in a private school. in public schools the kids police each other socially, in the same way that adults do in the real world. But in private school certain kids will always have power due to connected/donor/alumni parents, and other kids trade off that power by becoming friends with the "right" group, and that creates a caste system throughout the grade. So if you are wondering which private school is more "mean" than another, you are asking the wrong question. The better question is whether you are willing to risk your son/daughter being on the wrong side of that dynamic in exchange for the benefit(s) that you perceive of a private school.

12 different schools!? HUH??

Yes, three kids through elementary, middle school, and HS. One has special needs so he changed schools more than usual.
Let me guess - you’re a private school Mom?

I bet anything that the PP is the same one saying public school kids get better college matriculations. A master troll.

That’s not a useful response and is mean spirited. I thought PP made reasonable observations based on her experience; so much better than the speculation and heresay you often see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For what is worth, I have three kids who have been in 12 different schools from grade K through HS, split evenly between private and public, we have found that mean/bullying behavior is mainly a private school phenomenon. We have seen it at every private school, not confined to one gender. Of course public school kids can be mean too, but they aren't able to take over the culture of a grade, and they don't have the power that the mean kids have in a private school. in public schools the kids police each other socially, in the same way that adults do in the real world. But in private school certain kids will always have power due to connected/donor/alumni parents, and other kids trade off that power by becoming friends with the "right" group, and that creates a caste system throughout the grade. So if you are wondering which private school is more "mean" than another, you are asking the wrong question. The better question is whether you are willing to risk your son/daughter being on the wrong side of that dynamic in exchange for the benefit(s) that you perceive of a private school.

12 different schools!? HUH??

Yes, three kids through elementary, middle school, and HS. One has special needs so he changed schools more than usual.
Let me guess - you’re a private school Mom?

Did you move around a lot? Did any of your children go to the same schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For what is worth, I have three kids who have been in 12 different schools from grade K through HS, split evenly between private and public, we have found that mean/bullying behavior is mainly a private school phenomenon. We have seen it at every private school, not confined to one gender. Of course public school kids can be mean too, but they aren't able to take over the culture of a grade, and they don't have the power that the mean kids have in a private school. in public schools the kids police each other socially, in the same way that adults do in the real world. But in private school certain kids will always have power due to connected/donor/alumni parents, and other kids trade off that power by becoming friends with the "right" group, and that creates a caste system throughout the grade. So if you are wondering which private school is more "mean" than another, you are asking the wrong question. The better question is whether you are willing to risk your son/daughter being on the wrong side of that dynamic in exchange for the benefit(s) that you perceive of a private school.

12 different schools!? HUH??

Yes, three kids through elementary, middle school, and HS. One has special needs so he changed schools more than usual.
Let me guess - you’re a private school Mom?

I bet anything that the PP is the same one saying public school kids get better college matriculations. A master troll.

That’s not a useful response and is mean spirited. I thought PP made reasonable observations based on her experience; so much better than the speculation and heresay you often see.

I see the master troll is also a master sockpuppet. Brilliant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For what is worth, I have three kids who have been in 12 different schools from grade K through HS, split evenly between private and public, we have found that mean/bullying behavior is mainly a private school phenomenon. We have seen it at every private school, not confined to one gender. Of course public school kids can be mean too, but they aren't able to take over the culture of a grade, and they don't have the power that the mean kids have in a private school. in public schools the kids police each other socially, in the same way that adults do in the real world. But in private school certain kids will always have power due to connected/donor/alumni parents, and other kids trade off that power by becoming friends with the "right" group, and that creates a caste system throughout the grade. So if you are wondering which private school is more "mean" than another, you are asking the wrong question. The better question is whether you are willing to risk your son/daughter being on the wrong side of that dynamic in exchange for the benefit(s) that you perceive of a private school.

12 different schools!? HUH??

Yes, three kids through elementary, middle school, and HS. One has special needs so he changed schools more than usual.
Let me guess - you’re a private school Mom?

I bet anything that the PP is the same one saying public school kids get better college matriculations. A master troll.

That’s not a useful response and is mean spirited. I thought PP made reasonable observations based on her experience; so much better than the speculation and heresay you often see.

NP: I thought all schools had mean girls and cliques, but my 2 kids' experiences at their public middle school has been remarkably drama-free.

My best guess as to why is excellent administrators, moderate size (not too small, not too big), good extracurriculars, and real diversity along several vectors. It seems that most kids feel they fit in somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You'd be hard pressed to find a mean girl at Madeira.



Hard-pressed to find a mean girl at Madeira? There are mean girls at Madeira, just not as many as at some schools. Someone is obviously drinking the Madeira Kool-Aid and also smoking something while she drinks.

I dunno, PP. My daughter, who is quite sensitive and has definitely seen mean girl behaviors at her K-8, says that she has absolutely not met any mean girls at Madeira. She is rather in awe of that, actually.

+1. The kindness at Madeira is impressive. Not every girl is best friends, but they treat each other respectfully remarkably consistently for this age cohort. Have experienced the opposite elsewhere.

Madeira doesn't really have a lot of girls in the social scene of the DMV. They are not really part of the social scene. My kids do not know anyone that attends Madeira. It is a very separate world from the DC/MD social scene. That may be a good thing? Not sure but it is difficult to compare.

This legit sounds like a mean girl who doesn't even know they're a mean girl. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Madeira is different because almost half the students board on campus. This changes the whole culture. There are plenty of local girls as well but because of the location, it doesn't draw has heavily from places like CC which have the most clique-y culture. Also many girls wind up at Madeira because of interest in the equestrian program and the option to board horses at the school, so you get girls from further out who grew up riding. It's its own thing.

This is very different from schools like Holton or HC where there is a community of families and girls regularly see each other outside of school and some may have grown up in the same neighborhoods, attended the same preschools or lower schools (if different) and yes may belong to the same country clubs or have done extra curricular together. And where parents may know each other and have their own cliques.

Even if your DD is a day student, Madeira is more of a boarding school experience than the other schools in the area. Day students are even assigned to one of the dorms on campus and will do meals and activities with that dorm.

DP. Interesting. All of the Madeira alums I know belonged or currently belong to Chevy, Met Club, etc...

Hi, Madeira alum here! I...do not belong to a club. Nor do my children go to private school. I do live in Potomac though!

[Anonymous]

Grade dependent. Trick with that is a “nice class” in 6th can change with new admits in 7th and 9th. One or two families can change the dynamic of a class. Key is having a school and community that pushes back on them. If people are afraid or intimated by them they won’t.

[Anonymous]

Holton is horrible for girls who do not fit the mold. Icing out of girls is silently cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For what is worth, I have three kids who have been in 12 different schools from grade K through HS, split evenly between private and public, we have found that mean/bullying behavior is mainly a private school phenomenon. We have seen it at every private school, not confined to one gender. Of course public school kids can be mean too, but they aren't able to take over the culture of a grade, and they don't have the power that the mean kids have in a private school. in public schools the kids police each other socially, in the same way that adults do in the real world. But in private school certain kids will always have power due to connected/donor/alumni parents, and other kids trade off that power by becoming friends with the "right" group, and that creates a caste system throughout the grade. So if you are wondering which private school is more "mean" than another, you are asking the wrong question. The better question is whether you are willing to risk your son/daughter being on the wrong side of that dynamic in exchange for the benefit(s) that you perceive of a private school.

12 different schools!? HUH??

Yes, three kids through elementary, middle school, and HS. One has special needs so he changed schools more than usual.
Let me guess - you’re a private school Mom?

I bet anything that the PP is the same one saying public school kids get better college matriculations. A master troll.

That’s not a useful response and is mean spirited. I thought PP made reasonable observations based on her experience; so much better than the speculation and heresay you often see.

NP: I thought all schools had mean girls and cliques, but my 2 kids' experiences at their public middle school has been remarkably drama-free.

My best guess as to why is excellent administrators, moderate size (not too small, not too big), good extracurriculars, and real diversity along several vectors. It seems that most kids feel they fit in somewhere.

Which public MS?

[Anonymous]

Most every girls school has a clique of mean girls. But it is very grade dependent. Sometimes you luck out and some grades are okay but for the most part, every school will have mean girls.

[Anonymous]

Definitely Stone Ridge. In almost every grade there is a group of girls who just get all their fun from bullying others and nothing is done about it.

[Anonymous]

The real Q is what does the school do about it. Some build a kinder culture, others let the bad behavior fester. People say it’s cohort dependent, that grades are better than others because of particular students. But an all-girls school should be aware of this dynamic, both overall and for particular cohorts, and work to address the bad behavior and support the targeted students.

Which schools are good at that?

[Anonymous]

Varies by grade by NCS has them for sure.

[Anonymous]

Holy Child and Stone Ridge

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Varies by grade by NCS has them for sure.

DP. Not that many at NCS actually. We have 2 daughters there. Most issues I have heard of revolve around the crew team - both the parents and girls have had many many issues over the years. When parents get involved it just escalates.