How Many of You Will Be Receiving Nothing on Valentine’s Day from Your Husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’ll probably give me something small when we land in St Barts.

Yassss!!!

[Anonymous]

Married 25 years. Dh is sick this weekend and I’m handling all kid stuff plus have a super busy job so realized Friday I didn’t have a card but didn’t sweat it. Took kid to all day sports event yesterday and came home and dh had made a heart shaped cake with pink frosting - my favorite. He felt bad he was sick. No cards no gifts. we usually but not always do cards but no one cares if we don’t. I made our 20 year tradition of old El Paso tacos, which we started because we had no money. We both separately make over seven figures now, but not into junk. We always get each other nice gifts for bdays and Xmas, but even then we’ve never been a house where the man buys his wife obligatory expensive things to show his love. We’re pretty good about doing kind acts for each other daily. Had nothing been done yesterday, I would not have batted an eye, but the cake warmed my heart a little.

[Anonymous]

My DH gave me flowers. But I literally sent a link to the ones I wanted.

He has been wanting a filing cabinet for his office and mentioning it for a long time, so I got him that, along with a card with a dog on it (we are obsessed with our dogs) and a small heart-shaped box of chocolates with a puppy on it, lol.

We went out to dinner at a relatively fancy place like we always do -- reservation made by me (he would never do it and would not remember to).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Me. He will be spending all his efforts on his affair partner/ girlfriend.

I’ll be spending mine having a wonderful day with my DD and enjoying my own peace.

This does not sound like a peaceful situation ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think dh and I went out on our first valentines in the same city. We were so poor I doubt we even ordered wine. We’ve been eating old El Paso veggie tacos every year since. We usually exchange a card. I think he forgot last year and no hard feelings. Going on 25 years strong. We are very doting on each other through the year - not materially though. Just with kindness.

Ok, this sounds pretty darned good tbh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it everyone gets super defensive about how Valentines is made up but still gets gifts of Christmas (“made up” gifting) birthdays (“made up” gifting) and gives out candy on Halloween (incredibly “made up” candy gifting!). A made up holiday which celebrates your partner is a million times better than any of the above.

We get small, meaningful things (I suspect I’m getting a silver photo frame of a photo he took on a trip recently) but we would never miss the opportunity.

Not "everyone" gets super defensive about how Valentine's is made up, lol. It's just the people who either 1) have no one because they can't get anyone, or 2) have someone who doesn't really even like them all that much and therefore isn't going to get them sh!t.

The people pounding away at their keyboards about flowers being "so overpriced"? They have a DH who won't get them anything but will spend the evening in the basement leaning into his identity as a super-wizard on some online game -- probably all night because he doesn't have to get up because he's unemployed.

+1000

This is the unabashed truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s the same if you have to send your husband a link to get you flowers. That’s almost worse than nothing.

This is what I do, and it doesn't feel like "worse than nothing," it feels fine. When he sees them, he smiles, and comes over and kisses me. He likes it that I send him the link. I like it that I get the flowers. It all works out just fine.

[Anonymous]

My DH’s love language is acts of service - he does everything around the house, can fix anything (we save a ton of money this way), makes the kids breakfast and packs lunch every day, cleans up after dinner, cleans the house, is the breadwinner, pays the bills, and I get to have my dream job because of this. I couldn’t ask for more and we don’t care about things like Valentine’s Day. I think one reason our marriage works so well is because we are always so focused on the positive aspects of each other and how we both make each other’s lives happier.

[Anonymous]

My DH doesn’t remember anything except for our kid’s birthday. He created an international incident when he forgot our 25th we’d anniversary and my mom and SIL found out, LOL. It doesn’t bother me in the least. He shows up in all the ways that count.

[Anonymous]

Me! By mutual agreement! We just got around to giving each other our Christmas gifts like a week ago.

We’ve got three kids ages 6 and under and we both work full time. We agreed neither of us have the bandwidth this year!

We did decide we’d go out for a nice dinner after bedtime in a couple of weeks.

Very happy marriage.

[Anonymous]

I think any holiday to celebrate love is great, no need to spend. We made a date the following weekend for a concert and dinner.

[Anonymous]

We exchange small gifts. We no longer make a big deal over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My fed husband is going on a job interview tomorrow evening. As far as I’m concerned, that’s the best gift I could have received.

On a Saturday night? ok....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married 25 years. Dh is sick this weekend and I’m handling all kid stuff plus have a super busy job so realized Friday I didn’t have a card but didn’t sweat it. Took kid to all day sports event yesterday and came home and dh had made a heart shaped cake with pink frosting - my favorite. He felt bad he was sick. No cards no gifts. we usually but not always do cards but no one cares if we don’t. I made our 20 year tradition of old El Paso tacos, which we started because we had no money. We both separately make over seven figures now, but not into junk. We always get each other nice gifts for bdays and Xmas, but even then we’ve never been a house where the man buys his wife obligatory expensive things to show his love. We’re pretty good about doing kind acts for each other daily. Had nothing been done yesterday, I would not have batted an eye, but the cake warmed my heart a little.

What do you do to make 7 figures? I swear the more I read this forum the more I regret majoring in chemical engineering lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I took advantage of a "Valentine's Day offer" and bought myself stuff from Dior, then announced to my husband this afternoon that his gift was being delivered today. I will order sushi for tomorrow and we'll have a nice family dinner at home. He's relieved with this arrangement. It's been going on for years.

Life can be very simple if you make it so.

My god this soynds so pretentious!

I buy from Dior about once every 10 years, PP. I don't think I'm very pretentious. If you substitute your favorite thing you were planning to buy anyway, but take advantage of a little discount or bundle of services for Valentine's Day... is that really pretentious?

No.

But buying yourself something expensive that you wouldn’t otherwise buy, instead of your spouse buying it, and thinking you have a Valentine’s Day present, is really sad and depressing. The fact that it’s Dior doesn’t make it any less so.

+1M he didn't care enough to pick something out for you.