What I learned from the returning freshman this week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Based on other posts here, I thought these observations might help others. I overheard a lot of these (yes, eavesdropping on multiple conversations, and some they told me directly. Don't judge.) Please include your own if you also learned anything this week?

Kids are freshmen at various universities, from a non-DMV selective/well-known private HS (small graduating class - approx. 100):


Yale: Its what I expected. Go to NYC more than I thought. I've met a lot of kids from similar private schools across the country. Classes are really interesting. Love my professors.

Harvard: Yes, we do go to MIT to socialize. More striverish than I expected. But Im keeping an open mind. Classes are ok.

Penn: Miserable. Can't get into frat parties. Social dynamics are driven by cliques that formed in New York high schools.

Williams: Social life dominated by bratty NY douchebags. Its kind of ehh. Thought it would be more intellectual tbh.

Duke: Less work than expected; way more fun than expected. Not dreading going back to school. Feels like home.

Northwestern: It's meh; not much of a social life; taking mid-terms every 2 weeks. What I expected though.

UChicago: Econ classes are tough but everything else is really manageable. Very very fun. Very social. Hazing so far involves bottlecaps.

Cornell: Its cold and gray. And a lot of drinking. Worried about rush. And hazing. Social life is exhausting - constantly reaching out to people to make plans. Nothing is organic.

Vanderbilt: Great fall. Love love the football weekends. School is much harder than I thought. Social life can be cliquey and sometimes exhausting.

Michigan: It's amazing. Yes, it's big. But it's amazing. Did I say its big? Oh and the hazing is scaring us.

Emory: Its pretty boring. Thinking about transferring. Everyone is pre-med. And leaves campus A LOT. Not much to do on campus.

Georgetown: Can be socially exhausting as everyone is super extroverted and always "putting themselves out there". A lot of money everywhere. Maybe sharp-elbowed in a passive-aggressive way. Smart social assertive normal kids.

UCLA: love the weather, but its kind of hard to find your people. And sometimes it feels like I go to school at an outdoor mall.

WashU: started out kind of slow and miserable. Much better. Great professors.

Wake: Exceeded expectations. I wasn't excited to go. But its been really really great. No social pressure bc of how the freshmen are grouped together with housing and classes; I cannot relate to all the comments about college being "socially exhausting". Can't wait to get back to my people there.

Wisconsin: weirdly more social pressure than expected; constantly texting folks to make plans for meeting up (dining halls, library, working out) as its not natural because of how spread out everyone is. Its socially exhausting.

Indiana (Kelley): Love my school, love my major, love my people. Found my place.

Tulane: my roommate hasn't gone to class yet this year. There are only 8 people who attend my stats class regularly (in a class of 80). I may transfer.

U-Miami: Have a great tan. Very fun. But its more work than people think.

Bucknell: School isn't hard. Very social. Already have an internship. Go out 3-4 nights a week. Can't wait to get back.

NYU: loving the city. Classes are as expected. But love the city.

Wesleyan: a little too activist, purple-haired protest vibe but its better now. First few weeks were hard. Classes are great though. And schoolwork isn't hard.


I know Im forgetting others.

Is that you Rory Gilmore?

It’s a good mix of schools with Wake, Wesleyan and UCLA, why would OP lie? There is no benefit for them…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- plz ignore the weird haters on here! I enjoyed your post and would have liked to see more. Thanks for compiling it. These little glimpses and anecdotal data are SO important. Classes, size, rankings, blah blah… but this is the kind of thing you find on unigo and it’s really important to take into account. Vibe matters.

OP here.
Thanks for your (and a few others) posts.
I'll compile the rest if I can think of them later. Schools like: CU-Boulder; USC; CMC; Amherst and BC come to mind. Think I mentioned most of the others already but I have to go back and read and remember who was here.

And if others have heard feedback this week, I think its actually really great to share anecdotally info about the "social climate/vibe", so please post and ignore the haters.

As for some of the earlier comments: yes, there's def some privilege you sensed in this commentary. And, most of these kids are full pay. And, I agree they should be more grateful. Remember these are their honest commentary to each other (if I eavesdropped) or to me, when I asked.

I think, as another poster mentioned, these are smart kids who worked they tail off in HS, enroll at these great schools that are "supposed to be" the holy grail, and maybe, they don't live up to the hype. I think that is really true here, if I can be honest.

Weirdly the academics are not difficult - not one person mentioned that (and neither did my kid when i asked how friends say the schoolwork is). But i think the social vibe (the finding your people, the atmosphere (and I'm not talking about drinking) but hanging around in small groups where you don't have to present yourself constantly in a way that's "exhausting" (their words)) is what they referenced being surprised by. By all accounts many of them thought they'd "made" it with their college choices.
But the adjustment has been hard. Many of them lamented HS being over and wishing they had a "5th year". Maybe that's the covid year?

OP here again.
If others have anecdotes maybe it would be helpful to post in new posts individually per school with more details?

With another college bound kid soon, I find I’m actually assessing schools differently this time around. That was my motivation in sharing the original post (what I focused on the 1st time in “making balanced lists; fit to major etc” may have been slightly misguided; maybe didn’t focus on enough soft stuff, which can be more important).

Anyway, if others want to start other threads on individual colleges - academic & social environments, I’m sure others will weigh in. And I do love Unigo. The questions answered there are helpful.

Lastly, I’m realizing the HS you go to can dramatically shape a lot of that initial 1st year experience. In retrospect, there’s a bunch I would have done differently to get my DC out of the cocoon earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Based on other posts here, I thought these observations might help others. I overheard a lot of these (yes, eavesdropping on multiple conversations, and some they told me directly. Don't judge.) Please include your own if you also learned anything this week?

Kids are freshmen at various universities, from a non-DMV selective/well-known private HS (small graduating class - approx. 100):


Yale: Its what I expected. Go to NYC more than I thought. I've met a lot of kids from similar private schools across the country. Classes are really interesting. Love my professors.

Harvard: Yes, we do go to MIT to socialize. More striverish than I expected. But Im keeping an open mind. Classes are ok.

Penn: Miserable. Can't get into frat parties. Social dynamics are driven by cliques that formed in New York high schools.

Williams: Social life dominated by bratty NY douchebags. Its kind of ehh. Thought it would be more intellectual tbh.

Duke: Less work than expected; way more fun than expected. Not dreading going back to school. Feels like home.

Northwestern: It's meh; not much of a social life; taking mid-terms every 2 weeks. What I expected though.

UChicago: Econ classes are tough but everything else is really manageable. Very very fun. Very social. Hazing so far involves bottlecaps.

Cornell: Its cold and gray. And a lot of drinking. Worried about rush. And hazing. Social life is exhausting - constantly reaching out to people to make plans. Nothing is organic.

Vanderbilt: Great fall. Love love the football weekends. School is much harder than I thought. Social life can be cliquey and sometimes exhausting.

Michigan: It's amazing. Yes, it's big. But it's amazing. Did I say its big? Oh and the hazing is scaring us.

Emory: Its pretty boring. Thinking about transferring. Everyone is pre-med. And leaves campus A LOT. Not much to do on campus.

Georgetown: Can be socially exhausting as everyone is super extroverted and always "putting themselves out there". A lot of money everywhere. Maybe sharp-elbowed in a passive-aggressive way. Smart social assertive normal kids.

UCLA: love the weather, but its kind of hard to find your people. And sometimes it feels like I go to school at an outdoor mall.

WashU: started out kind of slow and miserable. Much better. Great professors.

Wake: Exceeded expectations. I wasn't excited to go. But its been really really great. No social pressure bc of how the freshmen are grouped together with housing and classes; I cannot relate to all the comments about college being "socially exhausting". Can't wait to get back to my people there.

Wisconsin: weirdly more social pressure than expected; constantly texting folks to make plans for meeting up (dining halls, library, working out) as its not natural because of how spread out everyone is. Its socially exhausting.

Indiana (Kelley): Love my school, love my major, love my people. Found my place.

Tulane: my roommate hasn't gone to class yet this year. There are only 8 people who attend my stats class regularly (in a class of 80). I may transfer.

U-Miami: Have a great tan. Very fun. But its more work than people think.

Bucknell: School isn't hard. Very social. Already have an internship. Go out 3-4 nights a week. Can't wait to get back.

NYU: loving the city. Classes are as expected. But love the city.

Wesleyan: a little too activist, purple-haired protest vibe but its better now. First few weeks were hard. Classes are great though. And schoolwork isn't hard.


I know Im forgetting others.

Is that you Rory Gilmore?

I don’t know who that is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. OP's post rang true - we heard similar things from DC and Dcs friends last week for many of the schools mentioned. Thanks for sharing OP.

Thank you.
I appreciate it given the weirdly displaced hatred of me here.

[Anonymous]

21 schools listed. Honest question - Did you tape record the comments or do you take shorthand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Based on other posts here, I thought these observations might help others. I overheard a lot of these (yes, eavesdropping on multiple conversations, and some they told me directly. Don't judge.) Please include your own if you also learned anything this week?

Kids are freshmen at various universities, from a non-DMV selective/well-known private HS (small graduating class - approx. 100):


Yale: Its what I expected. Go to NYC more than I thought. I've met a lot of kids from similar private schools across the country. Classes are really interesting. Love my professors.

Harvard: Yes, we do go to MIT to socialize. More striverish than I expected. But Im keeping an open mind. Classes are ok.

Penn: Miserable. Can't get into frat parties. Social dynamics are driven by cliques that formed in New York high schools.

Williams: Social life dominated by bratty NY douchebags. Its kind of ehh. Thought it would be more intellectual tbh.

Duke: Less work than expected; way more fun than expected. Not dreading going back to school. Feels like home.

Northwestern: It's meh; not much of a social life; taking mid-terms every 2 weeks. What I expected though.

UChicago: Econ classes are tough but everything else is really manageable. Very very fun. Very social. Hazing so far involves bottlecaps.

Cornell: Its cold and gray. And a lot of drinking. Worried about rush. And hazing. Social life is exhausting - constantly reaching out to people to make plans. Nothing is organic.

Vanderbilt: Great fall. Love love the football weekends. School is much harder than I thought. Social life can be cliquey and sometimes exhausting.

Michigan: It's amazing. Yes, it's big. But it's amazing. Did I say its big? Oh and the hazing is scaring us.

Emory: Its pretty boring. Thinking about transferring. Everyone is pre-med. And leaves campus A LOT. Not much to do on campus.

Georgetown: Can be socially exhausting as everyone is super extroverted and always "putting themselves out there". A lot of money everywhere. Maybe sharp-elbowed in a passive-aggressive way. Smart social assertive normal kids.

UCLA: love the weather, but its kind of hard to find your people. And sometimes it feels like I go to school at an outdoor mall.

WashU: started out kind of slow and miserable. Much better. Great professors.

Wake: Exceeded expectations. I wasn't excited to go. But its been really really great. No social pressure bc of how the freshmen are grouped together with housing and classes; I cannot relate to all the comments about college being "socially exhausting". Can't wait to get back to my people there.

Wisconsin: weirdly more social pressure than expected; constantly texting folks to make plans for meeting up (dining halls, library, working out) as its not natural because of how spread out everyone is. Its socially exhausting.

Indiana (Kelley): Love my school, love my major, love my people. Found my place.

Tulane: my roommate hasn't gone to class yet this year. There are only 8 people who attend my stats class regularly (in a class of 80). I may transfer.

U-Miami: Have a great tan. Very fun. But its more work than people think.

Bucknell: School isn't hard. Very social. Already have an internship. Go out 3-4 nights a week. Can't wait to get back.

NYU: loving the city. Classes are as expected. But love the city.

Wesleyan: a little too activist, purple-haired protest vibe but its better now. First few weeks were hard. Classes are great though. And schoolwork isn't hard.


I know Im forgetting others.

Is that you Rory Gilmore?

I don’t know who that is.

Gossipy character from a TV show. Possibly a backhanded compliment, lol.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilmore_Girls

"Since going off the air in 2007, Gilmore Girls has been cited in TV (The Book) and Time magazine as one of the 100 greatest television shows of all time."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:21 schools listed. Honest question - Did you tape-record the comments or do you take shorthand?

It started as notes in my iPhone as I was trying to think about my other DC going through the process soon and wanted to remember 4 specific schools.

Honestly, I know these kids well (some since they were 4 or 5). Its a really tight community.
For the ones I talked to firsthand, its not that hard to remember? I mean it was just this week (some on Wed and some on Fri).
For the others (which I eavesdropped on or DC told me directly), also not that hard. I mean there are a LOT of kids whose feedback isn't included here.
This is a sliver.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have serious psychological issues. Honestly. You really, really do.

+1. I just glanced at this thread for the first time. Oh, my, OP needs a life! And obviously attention from strangers here. Who has the time to collate a bunch of stereotypes allegedly coming out of the mouths of 18 year olds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:21 schools listed. Honest question - Did you tape-record the comments or do you take shorthand?

It started as notes in my iPhone as I was trying to think about my other DC going through the process soon and wanted to remember 4 specific schools.

Honestly, I know these kids well (some since they were 4 or 5). Its a really tight community.
For the ones I talked to firsthand, its not that hard to remember? I mean it was just this week (some on Wed and some on Fri).
For the others (which I eavesdropped on or DC told me directly), also not that hard. I mean there are a LOT of kids whose feedback isn't included here.
This is a sliver.

Good god, you are strange. And, that's not at all how we picked schools with my current Freshmen. We didn't listen to anyone else's experience. We toured, researched, he explored the website, etc. He had an amazing first semester so far--it was a 'perfect' fit. If I listened to this website, stereotypes or random people, he most certainly would be somewhere that was not a fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:21 schools listed. Honest question - Did you tape-record the comments or do you take shorthand?

It started as notes in my iPhone as I was trying to think about my other DC going through the process soon and wanted to remember 4 specific schools.

Honestly, I know these kids well (some since they were 4 or 5). Its a really tight community.
For the ones I talked to firsthand, its not that hard to remember? I mean it was just this week (some on Wed and some on Fri).
For the others (which I eavesdropped on or DC told me directly), also not that hard. I mean there are a LOT of kids whose feedback isn't included here.
This is a sliver.

Good god, you are strange. And, that's not at all how we picked schools with my current Freshmen. We didn't listen to anyone else's experience. We toured, researched, he explored the website, etc. He had an amazing first semester so far--it was a 'perfect' fit. If I listened to this website, stereotypes or random people, he most certainly would be somewhere that was not a fit.

And, of course, sorted the schools best in his intended area of interest first and foremost as a starting point, with geography/size (mid-size).

[Anonymous]

OP: As an adult poster with almost 40 years of experience, I am surprised at the spot-on accuracy of your first post in this thread. Thank you for sharing.

[Anonymous]

I learned my very top of the class at a top private was a little too confident going into their supposed easy A inflation school. Took on a rigorous load and will earn first B, double whammy was it wasn’t required for pre-med and could have just used their 5 from BC to satisfy the requirement. They are really wishing they could go back in time and choose differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I learned my very top of the class at a top private was a little too confident going into their supposed easy A inflation school. Took on a rigorous load and will earn first B, double whammy was it wasn’t required for pre-med and could have just used their 5 from BC to satisfy the requirement. They are really wishing they could go back in time and choose differently.

they would have chosen a different school or a different course load?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I learned my very top of the class at a top private was a little too confident going into their supposed easy A inflation school. Took on a rigorous load and will earn first B, double whammy was it wasn’t required for pre-med and could have just used their 5 from BC to satisfy the requirement. They are really wishing they could go back in time and choose differently.

Why? They should grow a spine and realize that college is hard- and their 5 in BC clearly meant they did not understand the material at the level they need to. Premed is about to get much harder for them, and they can’t whence at the presence of a B.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I learned my very top of the class at a top private was a little too confident going into their supposed easy A inflation school. Took on a rigorous load and will earn first B, double whammy was it wasn’t required for pre-med and could have just used their 5 from BC to satisfy the requirement. They are really wishing they could go back in time and choose differently.

Why? They should grow a spine and realize that college is hard- and their 5 in BC clearly meant they did not understand the material at the level they need to. Premed is about to get much harder for them, and they can’t whence at the presence of a B.

I hate the game of it all, but it is what it is. Need the SGPA to be very high so it was a waste of a B on a class when it wasn’t needed. They are top of curve in science exams, just less math inclined. Wish they were on a different path and college could be purely about joy of learning, it’s annoying to have to over analyze it all even from day 1.