Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of

[Anonymous]

My BFF from hs did it. Carried the donor-egg IVF babies herself at 49. One of them has profound special needs and the amount of work and stress it has caused has almost broken her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. If you have a lot of money, you can always buy the support you need.

100% and for a lot less hassle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hell no.

Only someone who hadn't had kids would think this was a remotely good idea.

You're too old. Get over it. Having a baby at that age is pure narcissism.

+1 Kids require a ton of parental energy and mental acuity until they are in their late teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is 50? The man or woman?

The woman is 50. She will not carry the child but it is her egg- frozen years ago. And his sperm. He is early 40s.

There was no egg freezing "years ago"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is 50? The man or woman?

The woman is 50. She will not carry the child but it is her egg- frozen years ago. And his sperm. He is early 40s.

There was no egg freezing "years ago"

Huh? Yes there was. She froze her eggs in her 30s. It’s not my situation but I am OP - posted this awhile back and I’m a little taken aback about how angry this post is making people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My BFF from hs did it. Carried the donor-egg IVF babies herself at 49. One of them has profound special needs and the amount of work and stress it has caused has almost broken her.

Wouldn’t that be the case for any parent with a profound SN child? Also curious why they didn’t screen for health issues and genetic defects. Isn’t that standard for IVF?

[Anonymous]

I had my third (surprise) at 45. It’s manageable but I would probably foster an older kid (8+) in op’s shoes. The physicality required of baby toddler years is very demanding. The sleep deprivation is very tough. Being an only child of older parents without family nearby will be tough for a kid to shoulder, I’m afraid.

[Anonymous]

One of my closest friends had her only through IVF (no surrogacy) when she was 47 and her husband 49. They are happy and their child is happy and thriving.

I had my third and last when I was 34 and I am often tired… more so now that they are in elementary and middle school and full of activities…

[Anonymous]

It is hard to predict how you will feel. As a late in life parent, having children has been the greatest joy of my life. Being older, I had already traveled, established a career so I had already accomplished much of what was on my wishlist. I was unprepared for the love that I would feel for my child. I think I appreciate my children more because the process was so hard when you are older.

Yes - it is exhausting. But you will get through it like you would any other situation. Do not have any regrets. Just plan well for their care should anything happen to you.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. I had kids at 24, 30 and 39. I had way more fun being a young Mom than as an old Mom.

[Anonymous]

I think you should have twins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who is 50? The man or woman?

The woman is 50. She will not carry the child but it is her egg- frozen years ago. And his sperm. He is early 40s.

There was no egg freezing "years ago"

Huh? Yes there was. She froze her eggs in her 30s. It’s not my situation but I am OP - posted this awhile back and I’m a little taken aback about how angry this post is making people.

So OP, did you end up going for it? How did things turn out?

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:local family support.

No. It would be cruel to the child. High possibility of their parent dying before they come of age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hell no.

Only someone who hadn't had kids would think this was a remotely good idea.

You're too old. Get over it. Having a baby at that age is pure narcissism.

Agree. Adopt an older child. Think about how old you will be and the kid is 15.

Signed, mom at 40 and 45.

Oh just adopt an older child like they are rescue puppies. Older children who are adoptable usually come with a lot of baggage and while you may not have to sit on the floor and play with blocks, the challenges can be even more daunting and exhausting.