It's official: Gen Z are not delaying marriage til 30s anymore, young weddings are cool again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another advantage of having kids younger is that it’s easier to relate to my kids. They know I’m not as old as the other parents and their friends do too. I look and feel like less of a wreck than the other moms simply because I’m quite a bit younger.

“I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.”

Not cool, just less old. 🤷‍♀️. Kids definitely notice these things and act accordingly.

Aw, don’t know all their slang and share clothes with your DD? Adorable.

Is this a sentence and what is it supposed to mean

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another advantage of having kids younger is that it’s easier to relate to my kids. They know I’m not as old as the other parents and their friends do too. I look and feel like less of a wreck than the other moms simply because I’m quite a bit younger.

“I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.”

Not cool, just less old. 🤷‍♀️. Kids definitely notice these things and act accordingly.

Parents are parents, you don't fit in as well as you think you do. That's just your ego talking (less of a wreck )
And I'm not interested in a Gilmore Girls relationship with my kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

It always stands out to me that young parents seem thrilled to be empty nesters and “enjoying my life.” There is this mindset that you’re happy the phase of having kids is over with.

Did you not enjoy having kids?
Perhaps you had to give up so much in your 20s and you feel like your time is finally your own? I can imagine you had virtually no time to yourself and had to struggle through lawschool if you had young babies at the same time.

I can’t imagine viewing having a family the way you do. I loved my time in my 20s and it’s now great to have a young family in my 40s.

I'm not that PP, and I LOVE having kids, but I'm also not a martyr. No matter how much you love babies and little kids, it is a tiring time in life and there is some unpleasantness to it. I am glad to have been changing diapers and chasing after toddlers and doing 2am wakeups and carting around strollers and other gear when I was late 20/early 30s with energy galore than doing it now, at 43, when I'm getting older and need/want more sleep and can't "hang" like I used to. *shrug*

Agree! Juggling FT work and kids is so much easier when you are young! I'm a fairly energetic person, but there's a biological reason why fertility starts declining in your mid-30s!

How? The average 20 something has little to no accrued leave for maternity leave. Most 20 somethings aren’t even making enough to pay for childcare which is why it’s a career killer to have kids young.

In my 20s I would have had six weeks off post birth and my salary would not have paid for a nanny.

Having kids in my late 30s meant six months of leave, seniority that meant I could work remotely and a salary high enough to pay for a nanny.

I can’t see how having kids in HS is good for obtaining an education and don’t see how having kids in your 20s is good for building a career.

I didn’t have paid off when I had two kids in my 20’s. However, I also didn’t have a giant house in the suburbs with the mortgage and maintenance costs to go with it, a long commute in an expensive vehicle, or generally luxury tastes or expectations. I was still used to living like a broke college student, so while the expensive daycare years were tough, they weren’t *that* bad.

I have no idea why you would think that living on a tight budget would be a career killer. My personal expenses had nothing to do with my career performance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another advantage of having kids younger is that it’s easier to relate to my kids. They know I’m not as old as the other parents and their friends do too. I look and feel like less of a wreck than the other moms simply because I’m quite a bit younger.

“I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.”

Not cool, just less old. 🤷‍♀️. Kids definitely notice these things and act accordingly.

Parents are parents, you don't fit in as well as you think you do. That's just your ego talking (less of a wreck )
And I'm not interested in a Gilmore Girls relationship with my kid.

I’m just sharing my observations. I’m still a parent and not deluded about it. And you don’t need to be so defensive- didn’t you look less haggard 10 years ago? 😂 I certainly did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a millennial who got married at 24. Most women at my conservative Christian college did, we called it “Ring by Spring”.

I bet that had more to do with getting married young than being a millennial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another advantage of having kids younger is that it’s easier to relate to my kids. They know I’m not as old as the other parents and their friends do too. I look and feel like less of a wreck than the other moms simply because I’m quite a bit younger.

“I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.”

Not cool, just less old. 🤷‍♀️. Kids definitely notice these things and act accordingly.

Parents are parents, you don't fit in as well as you think you do. That's just your ego talking (less of a wreck )
And I'm not interested in a Gilmore Girls relationship with my kid.

I’m just sharing my observations. I’m still a parent and not deluded about it. And you don’t need to be so defensive- didn’t you look less haggard 10 years ago? 😂 I certainly did.

DP. We don’t need to be so defensive? You literally said the other moms look like wrecks.

[Anonymous]

It's funny that old people think that women shouldn't get married until after 30, so controlling

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another advantage of having kids younger is that it’s easier to relate to my kids. They know I’m not as old as the other parents and their friends do too. I look and feel like less of a wreck than the other moms simply because I’m quite a bit younger.

“I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.”

Not cool, just less old. 🤷‍♀️. Kids definitely notice these things and act accordingly.

Parents are parents, you don't fit in as well as you think you do. That's just your ego talking (less of a wreck )
And I'm not interested in a Gilmore Girls relationship with my kid.

I’m just sharing my observations. I’m still a parent and not deluded about it. And you don’t need to be so defensive- didn’t you look less haggard 10 years ago? 😂 I certainly did.

DP. We don’t need to be so defensive? You literally said the other moms look like wrecks.

I mean… they kind of do. This is an anonymous forum, it’s not like I’m bragging to someone who knows these people. Most older parents look… more haggard. When I am their age, I will also look more haggard.

[Anonymous]

Genz don't need to experience all those things in their 20s and delay marriage. They've already seen it all on tiktok and parties in high school. They are much more serious than Genx and other old people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's funny that old people think that women shouldn't get married until after 30, so controlling

I think my kids should get married whenever they feel like they’ve met someone they want to marry. If that’s at 22, so be it. But I’m getting the sense that the posters who are most supportive of young marriages are the controlling ones. These are the parents who have carefully controlled their kids’ friendships since preschool, making sure they only ever mix with the “right” families. The marriage to the appropriate partner is essentially what they’ve been building up to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another advantage of having kids younger is that it’s easier to relate to my kids. They know I’m not as old as the other parents and their friends do too. I look and feel like less of a wreck than the other moms simply because I’m quite a bit younger.

“I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.”

Not cool, just less old. 🤷‍♀️. Kids definitely notice these things and act accordingly.

Parents are parents, you don't fit in as well as you think you do. That's just your ego talking (less of a wreck )
And I'm not interested in a Gilmore Girls relationship with my kid.

I’m just sharing my observations. I’m still a parent and not deluded about it. And you don’t need to be so defensive- didn’t you look less haggard 10 years ago? 😂 I certainly did.

DP. We don’t need to be so defensive? You literally said the other moms look like wrecks.

I mean… they kind of do. This is an anonymous forum, it’s not like I’m bragging to someone who knows these people. Most older parents look… more haggard. When I am their age, I will also look more haggard.

How old were you when you had your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

It always stands out to me that young parents seem thrilled to be empty nesters and “enjoying my life.” There is this mindset that you’re happy the phase of having kids is over with.

Did you not enjoy having kids?
Perhaps you had to give up so much in your 20s and you feel like your time is finally your own? I can imagine you had virtually no time to yourself and had to struggle through lawschool if you had young babies at the same time.

I can’t imagine viewing having a family the way you do. I loved my time in my 20s and it’s now great to have a young family in my 40s.

I'm not that PP, and I LOVE having kids, but I'm also not a martyr. No matter how much you love babies and little kids, it is a tiring time in life and there is some unpleasantness to it. I am glad to have been changing diapers and chasing after toddlers and doing 2am wakeups and carting around strollers and other gear when I was late 20/early 30s with energy galore than doing it now, at 43, when I'm getting older and need/want more sleep and can't "hang" like I used to. *shrug*

Agree! Juggling FT work and kids is so much easier when you are young! I'm a fairly energetic person, but there's a biological reason why fertility starts declining in your mid-30s!

How? The average 20 something has little to no accrued leave for maternity leave. Most 20 somethings aren’t even making enough to pay for childcare which is why it’s a career killer to have kids young.

In my 20s I would have had six weeks off post birth and my salary would not have paid for a nanny.

Having kids in my late 30s meant six months of leave, seniority that meant I could work remotely and a salary high enough to pay for a nanny.

I can’t see how having kids in HS is good for obtaining an education and don’t see how having kids in your 20s is good for building a career.

I didn’t have paid off when I had two kids in my 20’s. However, I also didn’t have a giant house in the suburbs with the mortgage and maintenance costs to go with it, a long commute in an expensive vehicle, or generally luxury tastes or expectations. I was still used to living like a broke college student, so while the expensive daycare years were tough, they weren’t *that* bad.

I have no idea why you would think that living on a tight budget would be a career killer. My personal expenses had nothing to do with my career performance.

You really can’t understand why the high cost of childcare could push a young woman out of the workforce entirely?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20-yo Millie Bobby Brown and 22-yo husband (Bon Jovi's model son) just revealed their gorgeous wedding photos on social media to her 65 million followers. MBB is a trend setter. This follows influencer Sofia Richie getting married and quickly pregnant last year when she was just 24-yo. Pendulum has swung, gen Z'ers consider it is un-cool and weird to wait until late 20s or 30s to settle down.

If your impulse is to be disgusted by this and predict the demise of these marriages you just reveal yourself to be a terminally miserable person. Every parent wishes their child finds love at this age. Buy a house. Have kids. Make a life together.

The “Sex and the City” whoring around until your 30s, blowing money renting apartments and dining out, and binge drinking your prime away was always a scam. Good to see young people wising up.

Bad idea to use Hollywood and celebrity to prove your point. They will let you down.
I wish MBB the best, like her as an actress, but hope this rush to marriage was not caused by some trauma in her short life due to her being involved in acting and Hollywood from a very young age.

Marrying at a young adult age humans have done for thousands of years…teases out issues and trauma. 90s and 00s era delay marriage until your 30s, settling with a schmuck because the dating pool is empty, needing IVF to get pregnant, being a tired feeling and old looking mom at your kid’s school, and likely dying before you see your kids marry let alone have grandkids are…sharp life choices. Sure, sure.

No - this is all wrong. Science has shown the human brain does not mature until after age 26.

At a minimum, people should not be allowed to marry before age 26 because they are too immature for it and to raise kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20-yo Millie Bobby Brown and 22-yo husband (Bon Jovi's model son) just revealed their gorgeous wedding photos on social media to her 65 million followers. MBB is a trend setter. This follows influencer Sofia Richie getting married and quickly pregnant last year when she was just 24-yo. Pendulum has swung, gen Z'ers consider it is un-cool and weird to wait until late 20s or 30s to settle down.

If your impulse is to be disgusted by this and predict the demise of these marriages you just reveal yourself to be a terminally miserable person. Every parent wishes their child finds love at this age. Buy a house. Have kids. Make a life together.

The “Sex and the City” whoring around until your 30s, blowing money renting apartments and dining out, and binge drinking your prime away was always a scam. Good to see young people wising up.

Bad idea to use Hollywood and celebrity to prove your point. They will let you down.
I wish MBB the best, like her as an actress, but hope this rush to marriage was not caused by some trauma in her short life due to her being involved in acting and Hollywood from a very young age.

Marrying at a young adult age humans have done for thousands of years…teases out issues and trauma. 90s and 00s era delay marriage until your 30s, settling with a schmuck because the dating pool is empty, needing IVF to get pregnant, being a tired feeling and old looking mom at your kid’s school, and likely dying before you see your kids marry let alone have grandkids are…sharp life choices. Sure, sure.

I don't know why people are so adamant about how great it is to be in your 40s with young kids. It's not! I'm speaking from experience! I applaud young women and men for not following this path.

+1. It's a cope. Nobody believes these people. Looking like a grandma with your young kids is sad, if we're being honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married at 23 and had my first at 26, in law school. People acted like I was a teen mom. It was ridiculous. I’ve been married for 17 years and I’m really happy with my choices. I have health problems now that could have kept me from having kids in my 30s. So I’m really glad I got that done in my 20s and I would recommend for my children to do the same.

At the same time, I was fairly mature at 23 and knew what I wanted. I knew DH was a good partner.

I wish I could have had children younger. I don't see what the big deal is. Think of how young you'll be when the nest empties!

I’ll be 46 and an empty nester MUAHAHAHA.

My 20s were hard but I’m happy DH was with me. He is the one who put me through law school. We had marriage, law school, babies overlapping and it was super hard but by my mid 30s life was so pleasant. Now nearing 40 my kids are older and I am really enjoying my life. I didn’t travel or date a lot but DH and I have had some fun trips while my parents stay with the kids.

It always stands out to me that young parents seem thrilled to be empty nesters and “enjoying my life.” There is this mindset that you’re happy the phase of having kids is over with.

Did you not enjoy having kids?
Perhaps you had to give up so much in your 20s and you feel like your time is finally your own? I can imagine you had virtually no time to yourself and had to struggle through lawschool if you had young babies at the same time.

I can’t imagine viewing having a family the way you do. I loved my time in my 20s and it’s now great to have a young family in my 40s.

I'm not that PP, and I LOVE having kids, but I'm also not a martyr. No matter how much you love babies and little kids, it is a tiring time in life and there is some unpleasantness to it. I am glad to have been changing diapers and chasing after toddlers and doing 2am wakeups and carting around strollers and other gear when I was late 20/early 30s with energy galore than doing it now, at 43, when I'm getting older and need/want more sleep and can't "hang" like I used to. *shrug*

Agree! Juggling FT work and kids is so much easier when you are young! I'm a fairly energetic person, but there's a biological reason why fertility starts declining in your mid-30s!

How? The average 20 something has little to no accrued leave for maternity leave. Most 20 somethings aren’t even making enough to pay for childcare which is why it’s a career killer to have kids young.

In my 20s I would have had six weeks off post birth and my salary would not have paid for a nanny.

Having kids in my late 30s meant six months of leave, seniority that meant I could work remotely and a salary high enough to pay for a nanny.

I can’t see how having kids in HS is good for obtaining an education and don’t see how having kids in your 20s is good for building a career.

I didn’t have paid off when I had two kids in my 20’s. However, I also didn’t have a giant house in the suburbs with the mortgage and maintenance costs to go with it, a long commute in an expensive vehicle, or generally luxury tastes or expectations. I was still used to living like a broke college student, so while the expensive daycare years were tough, they weren’t *that* bad.

I have no idea why you would think that living on a tight budget would be a career killer. My personal expenses had nothing to do with my career performance.

You really can’t understand why the high cost of childcare could push a young woman out of the workforce entirely?

Correct. That’s why I literally said “tight budget”.

The vast majority of working families struggle to pay for childcare, even in their 30’s! Most of us cannot afford a nanny, for god’s sake. So we make compromises and sacrifices to make it work and hang on by the skin of our teeth until the daycare years are over.

Get out of your bubble.