There’s a whole decade between your 20s and your 40s to start having kids. Why are we only focusing on the extreme ends? |
We all know couples like this. They are happier. They married their true love, grew together through their 20s. You can't get that time back. While people who wait until their 30s have to settle and have tons of dating trauma baggage. It's just not the same. |
You think 38 is a grandma? Oh wait. That tracks. |
+1 That is so so young. |
I mean, as long as we’re talking anecdotes here, each of my three close friends from college married their college boyfriends in their early 20s and every single one of them is divorced as of mid-40s. Lots of kids among them. Some really bitter, acrimonious split ups. Yes, some of these marriages are solid and last forever. And some people suddenly realize that what they wanted when they were 18-22 isn’t what they want when they’re 40+, particularly if their own kids are grown and flown by then. There are simply no guarantees. Life takes unexpected turns. |
When you said you’re happier that your kids are 16, not 6. |
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well if you all knew me in my 20s, you'd also agree it was for the best that i waited until i was 31 to marry and 34 to have my son.
hahahahaaa man, did we millennials really miss out? are gen x parents waiting to help out their gen z young parents? my boomer parents are not interested in helping out with child care. any village i am part of costs money to join. i certainly did not have the financial resources in my 20s that i do now in my 40s. all i can think of is if gen z is having kids young, my biggest piece of advice is to ensure you have some solid support. its tough, thats for sure! |
I’m trying to tease this out too and I think it’s because the moms in their 40s probably have nannies. So yay, parenthood is easy and fun. |
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all of this just feels like trad wife coded
like exerting your will on young women's bodies... see? all the celebrities are getting married and pregnant young? you should too! |
You can be near family at various stages of your life. But never leaving? Yuck. |
Yup. Forced birthers are love to force their beliefs on others. |
part of me wonders if this is a millennial thing-- moving far from parents for my boomer parents who raised us in a LCOL and then have since moved-- it would have been a sign of parental failure if either of their children didn't leave the rust belt or moved back after college. sometimes i wonder if this is an outdated cultural thing that was normal in the 90s and 00s, but is not in 2024 |
Interesting. My sister went to Duke and I know many of her friends. Only one (semi nut job) got married before 30. |
BG, don’t forget about all of those horrid BRUNCHES.
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Yes, instead they should marry that schmuck when they're 22. Newsflash but if more people are getting married earlier (which, for the record, the only evidence of on this thread is MBB marrying a Bon Jovi) then that means that some of those 30-something schmucks are joining the early 20s marriage pool. Because it's not like more better guys are appearing out of thin air at age 22. So people are just marrying the same dud men, at earlier ages when they are even more immature and useless than their 30 year old self (who at least knows how to use the dishwasher and w/d). And for the record! I met DH when i was in college, him in grad school and I married at 26. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with it, but i do think having some kind of agenda at age 22 to find marriage material is bizarre. |