SAHM to working mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Working is awful and takes away from life. Most jobs are absolutely meaningless and thankless, whether high or low pay, compared to spending time with loved ones, in nature or creating (bonus for those who create as their work!) Wohms who judge sahms are lame. I know many of both, I am now a wohm...I guarantee you it is not a mark of superiority, competence or worth. This country generally exploits workers and there is no reward for hard work other than pay. Good for the two moms who drove their kids around doing a mediocre job and lasted a year! That is a victory over capitalist shit.

You sound fun.

DP. More fun than someone who lives for work, at least.

I love when sahms say this shit. It's not like your husband - who supports you, your children, your household, your family - isn't tied to work. It's not like you are both off doing some volunteer work or starting charities, he is still working and making someone else rich.

Yep - sorry SAHMs who feel so superior to the rat race. Your lifestyle is still funded by corporate America.

Conversely, sorry to the WOHM who feel so independent. Your lifestyle is still dependent on someone else giving you a paycheck, and that can go away at any time.

I can find a new job a lot more easily than you can find a new husband to support you.

+1
Why are the SAHMs so insecure to have to lie to themselves like this? So sad.

It’s not insecurity, it’s reality. Unless you’re independently wealthy you’re also in a precarious position that is entirely dependent upon someone willing to provide you with money in exchange for whatever value you provide. No one is saying the SAHM position is more stable or secure, merely that the average WOHM is not better off in terms of the financial situation she’d find herself in if her means of support suddenly disappeared.

And in terms of the ease of finding a job versus finding a husband, that is not necessarily true, it all depends on the person and the job. Let us all know when you’re laid off from your high paying job (that you have built your spending around) at 50+ just how easy it is to replace that income.

The bottom line is: SAHM is just a different type of work. Compensation is basically room and board rather than a paycheck. And I will never understand why this triggers some of you so.

Err yeah, I think I could find a job much easier at 50+ than a new husband???? Are you for real?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say "I left the workforce to take care of my children while they were young. During that I also [insert volunteer work or freelance or whatever you did to keep skills sharp]" Then describe how those activities and other experience prepared you for this job.

Personally, I didn’t leave my paid employment to go volunteer. I left my paid employment to take care of my own kids. Period.

Quite frankly I think anyone who brags about quitting her job but then spending her time volunteering (i.e. working for free) is an idiot.

If employers don’t like the gap they can go kick rocks. There are plenty of jobs out there, I don’t need to grovel or justify how I live my life to anyone.

As far as keeping skills sharp, unless you left your job as a surgeon or something what most people do is not that dynamic or not that difficult to catch up.

So people who volunteer to help others are “idiots.”

Great values you got there. Are you passing those on to your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say "I left the workforce to take care of my children while they were young. During that I also [insert volunteer work or freelance or whatever you did to keep skills sharp]" Then describe how those activities and other experience prepared you for this job.

Personally, I didn’t leave my paid employment to go volunteer. I left my paid employment to take care of my own kids. Period.

Quite frankly I think anyone who brags about quitting her job but then spending her time volunteering (i.e. working for free) is an idiot.

If employers don’t like the gap they can go kick rocks. There are plenty of jobs out there, I don’t need to grovel or justify how I live my life to anyone.

As far as keeping skills sharp, unless you left your job as a surgeon or something what most people do is not that dynamic or not that difficult to catch up.

This is a cartoon impression of the working world. A housekeeper's job probably doesn't change that much over 10 years but most professional job are quite dynamic. The idea that you will catch up in a snap is arrogant. I would be quite reluctant to hire anyone who can't be bothered to think that hard about something like this because it would probably mean a year of watching you demonstrate all the things you can't be bothered with, before I decide to let you go. I'd rather take an applicant who gets that catching up takes time and commitment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say "I left the workforce to take care of my children while they were young. During that I also [insert volunteer work or freelance or whatever you did to keep skills sharp]" Then describe how those activities and other experience prepared you for this job.

Personally, I didn’t leave my paid employment to go volunteer. I left my paid employment to take care of my own kids. Period.

Quite frankly I think anyone who brags about quitting her job but then spending her time volunteering (i.e. working for free) is an idiot.

If employers don’t like the gap they can go kick rocks. There are plenty of jobs out there, I don’t need to grovel or justify how I live my life to anyone.

As far as keeping skills sharp, unless you left your job as a surgeon or something what most people do is not that dynamic or not that difficult to catch up.

This is ignorant. You clearly have no idea how much has changed in the workplace in the past 10 years--even the past 5 years. Office norms have changed as younger Gen X and millennials have rose into leadership positions. Technology is probably one of the biggest changes. Even older employees who have stayed in the workforce have trouble keeping up with the changes. If you weren't very tech-savvy 10+ years ago when you were working, the learning curve isn't something to discount.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I have a friend who was a stay at home dad for 10 years and wanted to get back into the workforce at about 52 last year.

He told me he wanted to brush up on his Powerpoint skills so he could be competitive when he got a job at $300k+ selling cloud software solutions.

Powerpoint.

That plan didn't work out, so now he sells awnings. But he's back in the workforce!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say "I left the workforce to take care of my children while they were young. During that I also [insert volunteer work or freelance or whatever you did to keep skills sharp]" Then describe how those activities and other experience prepared you for this job.

Personally, I didn’t leave my paid employment to go volunteer. I left my paid employment to take care of my own kids. Period.

Quite frankly I think anyone who brags about quitting her job but then spending her time volunteering (i.e. working for free) is an idiot.

If employers don’t like the gap they can go kick rocks. There are plenty of jobs out there, I don’t need to grovel or justify how I live my life to anyone.

As far as keeping skills sharp, unless you left your job as a surgeon or something what most people do is not that dynamic or not that difficult to catch up.

This is ignorant. You clearly have no idea how much has changed in the workplace in the past 10 years--even the past 5 years. Office norms have changed as younger Gen X and millennials have rose into leadership positions. Technology is probably one of the biggest changes. Even older employees who have stayed in the workforce have trouble keeping up with the changes. If you weren't very tech-savvy 10+ years ago when you were working, the learning curve isn't something to discount.

LOL. If you can’t catch up on these amazingly complicated technological changes it’s because you’re an idiot. Sorry you have to try so very hard to do the basics.

But please enlighten us as to what has changed SO VERY DRAMATICALLY in the past five years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say "I left the workforce to take care of my children while they were young. During that I also [insert volunteer work or freelance or whatever you did to keep skills sharp]" Then describe how those activities and other experience prepared you for this job.

Personally, I didn’t leave my paid employment to go volunteer. I left my paid employment to take care of my own kids. Period.

Quite frankly I think anyone who brags about quitting her job but then spending her time volunteering (i.e. working for free) is an idiot.

If employers don’t like the gap they can go kick rocks. There are plenty of jobs out there, I don’t need to grovel or justify how I live my life to anyone.

As far as keeping skills sharp, unless you left your job as a surgeon or something what most people do is not that dynamic or not that difficult to catch up.

This is precisely the sort of attitude I would be listening for as an interviewer, and I would quickly send you on your way to go find those other employers who are in the market for the sort of entitled employee who doesn't think they should have to answer for anything.

You think a potential employee is entitled if they don’t feel the need to justify their personal life decisions to you? Yeah, I don’t have to “answer for” taking care of my family, weirdo. You sound like the type of employer who also demands employees give you their social media account passwords.

So yeah, go kick rocks. I’m sure you’ll find someone desperate enough to join your downline soon enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working is awful and takes away from life. Most jobs are absolutely meaningless and thankless, whether high or low pay, compared to spending time with loved ones, in nature or creating (bonus for those who create as their work!) Wohms who judge sahms are lame. I know many of both, I am now a wohm...I guarantee you it is not a mark of superiority, competence or worth. This country generally exploits workers and there is no reward for hard work other than pay. Good for the two moms who drove their kids around doing a mediocre job and lasted a year! That is a victory over capitalist shit.

You sound fun.

DP. More fun than someone who lives for work, at least.

I love when sahms say this shit. It's not like your husband - who supports you, your children, your household, your family - isn't tied to work. It's not like you are both off doing some volunteer work or starting charities, he is still working and making someone else rich.

Yep - sorry SAHMs who feel so superior to the rat race. Your lifestyle is still funded by corporate America.

Conversely, sorry to the WOHM who feel so independent. Your lifestyle is still dependent on someone else giving you a paycheck, and that can go away at any time.

I can find a new job a lot more easily than you can find a new husband to support you.

+1
Why are the SAHMs so insecure to have to lie to themselves like this? So sad.

It’s not insecurity, it’s reality. Unless you’re independently wealthy you’re also in a precarious position that is entirely dependent upon someone willing to provide you with money in exchange for whatever value you provide. No one is saying the SAHM position is more stable or secure, merely that the average WOHM is not better off in terms of the financial situation she’d find herself in if her means of support suddenly disappeared.

And in terms of the ease of finding a job versus finding a husband, that is not necessarily true, it all depends on the person and the job. Let us all know when you’re laid off from your high paying job (that you have built your spending around) at 50+ just how easy it is to replace that income.

The bottom line is: SAHM is just a different type of work. Compensation is basically room and board rather than a paycheck. And I will never understand why this triggers some of you so.

How true. I’m a working mom and always thought it was kind of strange how much more secure so many women seem to feel earning their paycheck from a corporation as opposed to their own spouse.

I do think the risk is higher though of divorce than losing a decent paying job and never finding another one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you interviewed, is there a way to explain your absence in a way that doesn't offend the working moms who wish they could be SAHMs?

I never wished or wanted to be a SAHM.
What you said is absolutely obnoxious.

If SAHM is so great, why are you going back to work?

As a working mom who maintained a career during pregnancies and beyond, I think SAHMs:
- Have low functional capacity and left the work force cause they can't handle things
- Never had much potential career wise
- Are dumb to put all their eggs into one basket (ie their spouse to provide for them)

I am going to be just as obnoxious as you.

Good luck on your interviews.

Lady, you need therapy. You have low functional capacity yourself to type out some garbage like this. And zero EQ.
Signed, a working mom

[Anonymous]

The OP didn't say every woman she interviewed with would feel this way, she said what approach should she take just in case they did feel this way.

If you are a working mom who took great offense at this you might want to reevaluate your confidence in your decisions.

[Anonymous]

There are wage penalties to career interruptions in pretty much any knowledge work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The OP didn't say every woman she interviewed with would feel this way, she said what approach should she take just in case they did feel this way.

If you are a working mom who took great offense at this you might want to reevaluate your confidence in your decisions.

No one is going to feel that way. Being concerned about that is like being concerned your interviewer is going to steal your husband -- it's so detached from reality that the only answer is "wtf is wrong with you, lady?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP didn't say every woman she interviewed with would feel this way, she said what approach should she take just in case they did feel this way.

If you are a working mom who took great offense at this you might want to reevaluate your confidence in your decisions.

No one is going to feel that way. Being concerned about that is like being concerned your interviewer is going to steal your husband -- it's so detached from reality that the only answer is "wtf is wrong with you, lady?"

So no working moms wished they could have stayed home with their kids even when they were infants and/or toddlers? Really? It may be detached from your reality but believe it or not there are moms who actually want to be home with their young kids but can't afford to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP didn't say every woman she interviewed with would feel this way, she said what approach should she take just in case they did feel this way.

If you are a working mom who took great offense at this you might want to reevaluate your confidence in your decisions.

No one is going to feel that way. Being concerned about that is like being concerned your interviewer is going to steal your husband -- it's so detached from reality that the only answer is "wtf is wrong with you, lady?"

Speak for yourself. I’m a working mom who is totally jealous of stay at home moms and wish we could afford for me to be a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Again, it is the women fighting amongst themselves about the better "choice" instead of coming together and advocating for more options, better flexibility, better leave; Currently, what "choice" one makes is an individual trying to the best in their circumstances, instead of insulting each other, wont it be better to band together and demand changes in this man-centric work environment?