Yes. Your Kid is overscheduled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We should have been posting where we’re are fron. Differences could be regional.

The assumption is that most are from dc area but there are a large number of posters outside of this area. Often those from outside of dc will note the regional differences. So this is already being done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Free play is all fun and games until middle school. Then the kids with no activities have nothing to do and it’s downhill from there.

Yep, those are the kids who get in trouble. Just hanging around with nothing to do at those ages leaves lots of time for drugs and sex. I saw it among other kids growing up, saw it among kids in the same grade with my kids over the years.

Idle hands and all that.

A full academic course load at a pressure cooker school is a whole activity unto itself. You must send your kids to weak schools. Nobody at my kid's school has time for 3 sports, basketweaving, and barbershop quartet practice.

You sound envious your DC can’t handle both academics and activities well.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids and I’m sure we are exactly the type of family OP is complaining about.

I currently have one kid in elementary, one kid in middle school and one kid in high school.

My older kids tried and played many sports in elementary. Their main sports were soccer and tennis but they liked other sports and activities too.

My very athletic 14 year old made all sports teams he tried out for, one was his main sport he has been playing since 5. MANY of his friends got cut from various sports this year - basketball, tennis, soccer and baseball. These kids you are complaining about may be the kids who make it on the teams. If your kid is playing rec or playing one sport per season, that will likely not be enough to get on your high school team in a few short years.

My middle kid is asking for MORE specific training with a coach that is really inconvenient, expensive and far. He plays competitively and wants to get better. He is good at every sport and he was the kid on your team who misses practices and games for other tournaments. He loves many sports and wants to play them all.

My youngest is in elementary and has soooo many interests. She wants to do everything and there isn’t enough time.

I follow my kids’ leads. I never sign them up for anything they don’t want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Free play is all fun and games until middle school. Then the kids with no activities have nothing to do and it’s downhill from there.

Yep, those are the kids who get in trouble. Just hanging around with nothing to do at those ages leaves lots of time for drugs and sex. I saw it among other kids growing up, saw it among kids in the same grade with my kids over the years.

Idle hands and all that.

A full academic course load at a pressure cooker school is a whole activity unto itself. You must send your kids to weak schools. Nobody at my kid's school has time for 3 sports, basketweaving, and barbershop quartet practice.

I have a kid at a pressure cooker high school with straight As and plays 3 sports. He also does academic competitions. He does not do music. The achievers at these schools do it all. My kid is only a freshman but I have met upperclassman parents including ones who have kids recently admitted to Harvard. These kids do so much. While I don’t know their exact test scores or grades. I’m sure they all have very high gpas to get admitted to T20 colleges. Their activity lists are long.

[Anonymous]

Pp here with 3 kids. With my boys, the boys would sign up for sports together. We would carpool together. The practice was like a play date. They have done scouts with mostly all their friends. They signed up for swim or soccer or baseball or basketball with their frirnds. Before or after practice and games, kids hang out. You have to be in the same circle.

It isn’t the same with my youngest who isn’t the most athletic and the other girls in her grade all do different things. I don’t think all the girls play soccer or swim or dance. Nothing is coordinated like how it was with my boys. I don’t know if this is a boy girl thing or if not girls are into sports the way most boys are.

[Anonymous]

I’m vanilla

[Anonymous]

For me … I think my elementary kid could handle more scheduling if a practice were truly an hour, vs. the rush off the bus, rush to get changed, commute to practice, late dinner that has to be planned, later/rushed bedtime… I can’t handle that more than once a week.

My middle schooler can do so much more because activities are directly after school, at the school. That child may have missed out on some things like (eg, will not make soccer team!), but it’s all about choices.

[Anonymous]

I overschedule my kids. I am overtired with my job. I don't know how to make them not watching nonstop screentime, so I decide to sign them up with classes & activities. They are both special need children, and I am already anxious for their futures. Taking them outside help them to work on social skill, behavior & speech, and it eases my anxiety for not doing anything to help them. DH has hos own issues to take care of, so it is also a relief & pain for me when I take them out. I want to breath some fresh air. We are not home all the time, but they are learning & playing with fun. I pay around $2500 in total per month for both kids to go to aftercare, therapies, soccer, dance, swim, basketball, gynmastic & etc. No matter how much they practice, their motor skill is below average. I treat them as PT therapies for all these classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I overschedule my kids. I am overtired with my job. I don't know how to make them not watching nonstop screentime, so I decide to sign them up with classes & activities. They are both special need children, and I am already anxious for their futures. Taking them outside help them to work on social skill, behavior & speech, and it eases my anxiety for not doing anything to help them. DH has hos own issues to take care of, so it is also a relief & pain for me when I take them out. I want to breath some fresh air. We are not home all the time, but they are learning & playing with fun. I pay around $2500 in total per month for both kids to go to aftercare, therapies, soccer, dance, swim, basketball, gynmastic & etc. No matter how much they practice, their motor skill is below average. I treat them as PT therapies for all these classes.

Nuts

[Anonymous]

My oldest is in high school so I have a different perspective from when all the kids were little. Some kids are just more talented. They are smarter, more athletic, better looking, etc. A lot of average and below average kids get left behind. I know some parents think riding their bikes around being bored and creative sounds wonderful but in my experience, those kids are often on screens, not doing something amazing. A lot of middle school kids drop their sports and activities so when others kids start really excelling, your kid who didn’t once per week activity probably isn’t that good at the activity and will get outcompeted by some kid who has gotten more practice or coaching in that same activity.

All these sports and activities take time and money. Not everyone has these resources. I remember reading something in NY Times about elite college admissions and athletes. The athletes needed to have years of expensive training so even the recruited athletes are all rich. I’m too lazy to look up and link the article.

[Anonymous]

No lies detected in this post. It's the corporate rat race but for kids. Mine has one sport she loves, takes a break during the summer. I follow her lead.

[Anonymous]

Pp again. I personally think you are doing your child a disservice by not letting them try different things when they are young. So OP may think it is over scheduling but I think of it as enrichment.

My parents were stretched thin and I didn’t have the same opportunities. I was bored a lot. I read a lot of books and watched a lot of tv. I hung out with other kids in the neighborhood who also didn’t have much going on. I was able to do a few activities that my parents chose for me. I want my kids to be able to try everything and anything and I will happily support them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Free play is all fun and games until middle school. Then the kids with no activities have nothing to do and it’s downhill from there.

Not for all kids, our neighborhood friends and my sibling had a blast playing throughout middle school. And why not, we were kids having fun. Free play is very important for middle schoolers, I've even read articles on it. I'm not sure why or when ppl deemed them too old to do this. It was the norm for us. I don't know why ppl think they aren't deserving of free play.

Why do you think athletes aren’t getting both?

Also, our day was great - I had free play too and then just walked right on to a JV sport as a freshman having barely played. Those days are over for most schools with most sports. If you don’t have some training, you aren’t making a high school team. I absolutely loved being a high school athlete and my kids enjoy it too, so I am glad we put in the prep work to make that happen in elementary and middle.

Because this is a thread on overscheduling. And ppl are assuming that older kids don't need or want free play because they're too old or will be trouble makers. High school is obviously a little different, but middle school kids are still kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Free play is all fun and games until middle school. Then the kids with no activities have nothing to do and it’s downhill from there.

Not for all kids, our neighborhood friends and my sibling had a blast playing throughout middle school. And why not, we were kids having fun. Free play is very important for middle schoolers, I've even read articles on it. I'm not sure why or when ppl deemed them too old to do this. It was the norm for us. I don't know why ppl think they aren't deserving of free play.

Why do you think athletes aren’t getting both?

Also, our day was great - I had free play too and then just walked right on to a JV sport as a freshman having barely played. Those days are over for most schools with most sports. If you don’t have some training, you aren’t making a high school team. I absolutely loved being a high school athlete and my kids enjoy it too, so I am glad we put in the prep work to make that happen in elementary and middle.

Because this is a thread on overscheduling. And ppl are assuming that older kids don't need or want free play because they're too old or will be trouble makers. High school is obviously a little different, but middle school kids are still kids.

I have a middle school kid and he does so much and also hangs out with his friends plenty in person and online. The difference between middle and high school is that you don’t have to study much in middle school. My middle schooler gets out at 2 and goes to bed around 10. He does have something almost everyday but he has plenty of free time.

He knows several kids who seem to do nothing. Their parents don’t seem as focused on them since they don’t neee childcare. My kid has friends who must play video games all day everyday. If I let him, I’m sure my kid would gladly play games all day. Thankfully he enjoys his multiple sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Free play is all fun and games until middle school. Then the kids with no activities have nothing to do and it’s downhill from there.

Not for all kids, our neighborhood friends and my sibling had a blast playing throughout middle school. And why not, we were kids having fun. Free play is very important for middle schoolers, I've even read articles on it. I'm not sure why or when ppl deemed them too old to do this. It was the norm for us. I don't know why ppl think they aren't deserving of free play.

Why do you think athletes aren’t getting both?

Also, our day was great - I had free play too and then just walked right on to a JV sport as a freshman having barely played. Those days are over for most schools with most sports. If you don’t have some training, you aren’t making a high school team. I absolutely loved being a high school athlete and my kids enjoy it too, so I am glad we put in the prep work to make that happen in elementary and middle.

Because this is a thread on overscheduling. And ppl are assuming that older kids don't need or want free play because they're too old or will be trouble makers. High school is obviously a little different, but middle school kids are still kids.

I have a middle school kid and he does so much and also hangs out with his friends plenty in person and online. The difference between middle and high school is that you don’t have to study much in middle school. My middle schooler gets out at 2 and goes to bed around 10. He does have something almost everyday but he has plenty of free time.

He knows several kids who seem to do nothing. Their parents don’t seem as focused on them since they don’t neee childcare. My kid has friends who must play video games all day everyday. If I let him, I’m sure my kid would gladly play games all day. Thankfully he enjoys his multiple sports.

That sounds great, sounds like your child has a good balance. I'm glad that he still gets to hang out with neighborhood friends, that's was such a great time in my life throughout middle school. I think I'm just against the idea of not encouraging it or not letting my kid have that because some kids cause trouble