Is Sidwell really Sadwell?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^
then why do you send your daughter there?

This is such a tired response.....

Perhaps, but a VERY valid question.

Not for HS with 9th grade admissions. The school does NOT present itself in a way that a prospective student or parent would see the true culture. And for kids/parents that want the academics, the school a huge draw. When we went to the admissions events as current parents (while younger sibling was considering options) - it was truly remarkable how different the presentation was from reality.

Stop making excuses for your poor vetting. Yes, for HS with 9th grade admissions. If you toured the school, had your child participate in a shadow day, and spoke with multiple Sidwell families (as I did) you would have had a clear understanding of the school culture.

You decided to ignore all of the signs that Sidwell wasn’t a good fit for YOUR child because you wanted the name. That’s on you.

I'm not talking about our own decisions. I am a community member and I see a variety of experiences and they have validity. I'm telling you from an INSIDE perspective that it was truly remarkable how much of what these families are pointing to as difficulties or concerns is not at all apparent in how the school presents itself in admissions. I know you are very happy but stop pointing fingers at others and saying "why are you there" or "go elsewhere" - you have a very simplistic and closed minded view. The school is not even transparent for current families and they are very far from fully open and forthcoming in admissions. They think they don't need to do more because they have plenty of demand. That's true - but that doesn't mean it's a good thing. Especially for applicants and even more so for applicants who don't have a large network of DMV private school families to draw upon.

The families that are bringing up concerns in this thread have valid ones....it doesn't negate that you have no concerns or that you don't have the same ones they do. But, guess what, the fact that you are ok doesn't negate their concerns either. You are insufferable.

Well said, and I love the ending - "you are insufferable." So true about the PP, and what a funny insult.

So let's bring this thread to a landing. Lots of bad stuff said about the school, and lots of further bad stuff said about the people SAYING the bad stuff, which sort of proves the point that there are a lot of mean and insufferable people in the community. I would say the thread is running about 70-30 or maybe 60-40 in favor of the school being a sad and toxic place.

perhaps the whole thread can be summed up this way - where there is that much smoke, there's certainly some fire.

[Anonymous]

^Truth

[Anonymous]

Current parent here- my DC loves Sidwell and it’s been a great fit.
I think stress and anxiety is up amongst kids EVERYWHERE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have been hearing that high school culture at Sidwell can be toxic. That recent mental health study survey showed that majority of students felt depressed or were clinically diagnosed as such. That whole culture of school is entitled, arrogant and mean. By senior year, you want to just have the pain of this place end and move on to a better chapter of your life

Three kids in or recently graduated from the US.

OP why don’t you tell us where you’re “hearing” this and what your point is in posting these declarative statements, as though they are facts?

I were a tad cynical I would suspect that you have an 8th grader whose application to Sidwell was due last week, and you are a bit freaked out realizing the low chance of admission.

Why do people always post this? Does anyone really think a negative post about your school is some sort of three-dimensional admissions chess move?

Exactly. That would be such an odd flex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^
then why do you send your daughter there?

This is such a tired response.....

Perhaps, but a VERY valid question.

Not for HS with 9th grade admissions. The school does NOT present itself in a way that a prospective student or parent would see the true culture. And for kids/parents that want the academics, the school a huge draw. When we went to the admissions events as current parents (while younger sibling was considering options) - it was truly remarkable how different the presentation was from reality.

Stop making excuses for your poor vetting. Yes, for HS with 9th grade admissions. If you toured the school, had your child participate in a shadow day, and spoke with multiple Sidwell families (as I did) you would have had a clear understanding of the school culture.

You decided to ignore all of the signs that Sidwell wasn’t a good fit for YOUR child because you wanted the name. That’s on you.

I'm not talking about our own decisions. I am a community member and I see a variety of experiences and they have validity. I'm telling you from an INSIDE perspective that it was truly remarkable how much of what these families are pointing to as difficulties or concerns is not at all apparent in how the school presents itself in admissions. I know you are very happy but stop pointing fingers at others and saying "why are you there" or "go elsewhere" - you have a very simplistic and closed minded view. The school is not even transparent for current families and they are very far from fully open and forthcoming in admissions. They think they don't need to do more because they have plenty of demand. That's true - but that doesn't mean it's a good thing. Especially for applicants and even more so for applicants who don't have a large network of DMV private school families to draw upon.

The families that are bringing up concerns in this thread have valid ones....it doesn't negate that you have no concerns or that you don't have the same ones they do. But, guess what, the fact that you are ok doesn't negate their concerns either. You are insufferable.

Well said, and I love the ending - "you are insufferable." So true about the PP, and what a funny insult.

So let's bring this thread to a landing. Lots of bad stuff said about the school, and lots of further bad stuff said about the people SAYING the bad stuff, which sort of proves the point that there are a lot of mean and insufferable people in the community. I would say the thread is running about 70-30 or maybe 60-40 in favor of the school being a sad and toxic place.

perhaps the whole thread can be summed up this way - where there is that much smoke, there's certainly some fire.

No matter what is said about Sidwell on this anonymous chat board, people will still flock to the school…in droves. Some places just have that type of draw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^
then why do you send your daughter there?

This is such a tired response.....

Perhaps, but a VERY valid question.

Not for HS with 9th grade admissions. The school does NOT present itself in a way that a prospective student or parent would see the true culture. And for kids/parents that want the academics, the school a huge draw. When we went to the admissions events as current parents (while younger sibling was considering options) - it was truly remarkable how different the presentation was from reality.

Stop making excuses for your poor vetting. Yes, for HS with 9th grade admissions. If you toured the school, had your child participate in a shadow day, and spoke with multiple Sidwell families (as I did) you would have had a clear understanding of the school culture.

You decided to ignore all of the signs that Sidwell wasn’t a good fit for YOUR child because you wanted the name. That’s on you.

I'm not talking about our own decisions. I am a community member and I see a variety of experiences and they have validity. I'm telling you from an INSIDE perspective that it was truly remarkable how much of what these families are pointing to as difficulties or concerns is not at all apparent in how the school presents itself in admissions. I know you are very happy but stop pointing fingers at others and saying "why are you there" or "go elsewhere" - you have a very simplistic and closed minded view. The school is not even transparent for current families and they are very far from fully open and forthcoming in admissions. They think they don't need to do more because they have plenty of demand. That's true - but that doesn't mean it's a good thing. Especially for applicants and even more so for applicants who don't have a large network of DMV private school families to draw upon.

The families that are bringing up concerns in this thread have valid ones....it doesn't negate that you have no concerns or that you don't have the same ones they do. But, guess what, the fact that you are ok doesn't negate their concerns either. You are insufferable.

Well said, and I love the ending - "you are insufferable." So true about the PP, and what a funny insult.

So let's bring this thread to a landing. Lots of bad stuff said about the school, and lots of further bad stuff said about the people SAYING the bad stuff, which sort of proves the point that there are a lot of mean and insufferable people in the community. I would say the thread is running about 70-30 or maybe 60-40 in favor of the school being a sad and toxic place.

perhaps the whole thread can be summed up this way - where there is that much smoke, there's certainly some fire.

No matter what is said about Sidwell on this anonymous chat board, people will still flock to the school…in droves. Some places just have that type of draw.

I think threads like this increase applications and enrollment. Same for the Cathedral schools.

The brand is not based on kindness and happy faces. It is based on proximity to power and academic rigor. Negative posts support what people already know about the school because face it, most powerful people aren’t very nice, and of course kids won’t be happy if they are being made to work extremely hard.

It is a trade off many parents will make because they want the respect that comes with being seen as a part of these community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an example from my own life. Have daughter at Sidwell upper school. She eschoes everything said here. Great teachers and academics. Horrible toxic social culture and cut throat student body. I tell her it reminds me of Harvard Medical. Same thing. Best education possible. Great professors and mentors. But socially and with peers, it’s a four year knife fight. Hated every day and could not leave soon enough. Never donated a single dollar to that place. Only bad memories. When new applicants apply from my Alma mater, I assume it means that they are a smart but terrible person. That is what I see in Sidwell kids (not their teachers who are great). Over confident, over privileged, smart, talented, depressed, toxic little people. Sad but true

So, (1) you hated the “four year knife fight” that was Harvard Med.; (2) you and your daughter agree that Sidwell sounds just like your miserable time in medical school; and (3) you still chose/choose to send your child to Sidwell.

It sounds like both you and your daughter are masochists. You don’t deserve any sympathy. Lie in the bed you made.

This is so sidwell. This proves the Harvard Med lady’s point. Sidwell people are just horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^
then why do you send your daughter there?

Good question. Have to admit we did consider transferring. But, like I said, school is remarkably good. And once you’re there, it’s risky to transfer to a new school Junior Year. Better to just grit your teeth and plough through. I. Words of Abe Lincoln “This too shall pass”

So you didn’t come to this realization about Sidwell until your daughter was in 10th grade? That doesn’t sound plausible. Just admit that you’re addicted to prestige. Like Harvard’s medical school, Sidwell’s “name” has you in a stranglehold. Well, you’re getting what you signed up for [shrug].

Honest question so I will answer it. Joined in 9th grade. Got some early warning signs that this place is toxic but we thought we should give it an honest shot. By the end of first term 9th grade, we were pretty sure. By March or April we were positive. But all transfer deadlines had expired. Then we were in 10th grade and you could apply in 10th grade fall but would not actually transfer until Junior fall. So, in some sense you are correct, we have to lie in this slimy, horrid, toxic soup of a bed that we all affectionately adore as “sadwell no friends.” Oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nickname “Sadwell No Friends” has been around forever. All the private schools have a name. All the kids at the schools know them. It’s just a joke. Don’t take it so seriously.

But this is actually true for some kids and Sidwell does not notice or care one bit about those kids.

This “is actually true for some kids” at every school. Students struggle with depression, and other mental health issues, at every school. Sidwell is not an exception to that rule, nor is it an outlier. What’s your point?

The point would be that Sidwell does not have a particularly warm approach from teachers or admin. There is very little expectation for mentoring. And, yes, it does occur among those who are outgoing and of course there are some teachers that are warm. Every school we know of has a higher bar for the student advisory role and generally employs more kindness into the ethos of the school from the top down.

If you actually had a child at Sidwell, you would know this isn’t true.

Two quick examples:
1. There are weekly required advisory meetings with your assigned/selected faculty/administrator advisor; and
2. My children participated in Sidwell’s peer mentorship program, where they were matched with a senior. They met weekly with their student mentor.

While no place is perfect, my children love Sidwell. They have told me many times that there’s no other school they would prefer to attend over Sidwell. This entire thread is nonsense. However, I understand that people love to hate Sidwell, so these ridiculous posts will continue.

You do understand it’s possible for others to have a different experience from you- right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^
then why do you send your daughter there?

Good question. Have to admit we did consider transferring. But, like I said, school is remarkably good. And once you’re there, it’s risky to transfer to a new school Junior Year. Better to just grit your teeth and plough through. I. Words of Abe Lincoln “This too shall pass”

So you didn’t come to this realization about Sidwell until your daughter was in 10th grade? That doesn’t sound plausible. Just admit that you’re addicted to prestige. Like Harvard’s medical school, Sidwell’s “name” has you in a stranglehold. Well, you’re getting what you signed up for [shrug].

Honest question so I will answer it. Joined in 9th grade. Got some early warning signs that this place is toxic but we thought we should give it an honest shot. By the end of first term 9th grade, we were pretty sure. By March or April we were positive. But all transfer deadlines had expired. Then we were in 10th grade and you could apply in 10th grade fall but would not actually transfer until Junior fall. So, in some sense you are correct, we have to lie in this slimy, horrid, toxic soup of a bed that we all affectionately adore as “sadwell no friends.” Oh well.

Oh well is correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^
then why do you send your daughter there?

Good question. Have to admit we did consider transferring. But, like I said, school is remarkably good. And once you’re there, it’s risky to transfer to a new school Junior Year. Better to just grit your teeth and plough through. I. Words of Abe Lincoln “This too shall pass”

So you didn’t come to this realization about Sidwell until your daughter was in 10th grade? That doesn’t sound plausible. Just admit that you’re addicted to prestige. Like Harvard’s medical school, Sidwell’s “name” has you in a stranglehold. Well, you’re getting what you signed up for [shrug].

Honest question so I will answer it. Joined in 9th grade. Got some early warning signs that this place is toxic but we thought we should give it an honest shot. By the end of first term 9th grade, we were pretty sure. By March or April we were positive. But all transfer deadlines had expired. Then we were in 10th grade and you could apply in 10th grade fall but would not actually transfer until Junior fall. So, in some sense you are correct, we have to lie in this slimy, horrid, toxic soup of a bed that we all affectionately adore as “sadwell no friends.” Oh well.

Sorry your child has no friends at Sadwell. 😢 My child attends Sidwell and has plenty of friends and a robust social life. It’s the tale of two schools. Your child attends the version I know nothing about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^
then why do you send your daughter there?

This is such a tired response.....

Perhaps, but a VERY valid question.

Not for HS with 9th grade admissions. The school does NOT present itself in a way that a prospective student or parent would see the true culture. And for kids/parents that want the academics, the school a huge draw. When we went to the admissions events as current parents (while younger sibling was considering options) - it was truly remarkable how different the presentation was from reality.

Stop making excuses for your poor vetting. Yes, for HS with 9th grade admissions. If you toured the school, had your child participate in a shadow day, and spoke with multiple Sidwell families (as I did) you would have had a clear understanding of the school culture.

You decided to ignore all of the signs that Sidwell wasn’t a good fit for YOUR child because you wanted the name. That’s on you.

I'm not talking about our own decisions. I am a community member and I see a variety of experiences and they have validity. I'm telling you from an INSIDE perspective that it was truly remarkable how much of what these families are pointing to as difficulties or concerns is not at all apparent in how the school presents itself in admissions. I know you are very happy but stop pointing fingers at others and saying "why are you there" or "go elsewhere" - you have a very simplistic and closed minded view. The school is not even transparent for current families and they are very far from fully open and forthcoming in admissions. They think they don't need to do more because they have plenty of demand. That's true - but that doesn't mean it's a good thing. Especially for applicants and even more so for applicants who don't have a large network of DMV private school families to draw upon.

The families that are bringing up concerns in this thread have valid ones....it doesn't negate that you have no concerns or that you don't have the same ones they do. But, guess what, the fact that you are ok doesn't negate their concerns either. You are insufferable.

Well said, and I love the ending - "you are insufferable." So true about the PP, and what a funny insult.

So let's bring this thread to a landing. Lots of bad stuff said about the school, and lots of further bad stuff said about the people SAYING the bad stuff, which sort of proves the point that there are a lot of mean and insufferable people in the community. I would say the thread is running about 70-30 or maybe 60-40 in favor of the school being a sad and toxic place.

perhaps the whole thread can be summed up this way - where there is that much smoke, there's certainly some fire.

No matter what is said about Sidwell on this anonymous chat board, people will still flock to the school…in droves. Some places just have that type of draw.

I think threads like this increase applications and enrollment. Same for the Cathedral schools.

The brand is not based on kindness and happy faces. It is based on proximity to power and academic rigor. Negative posts support what people already know about the school because face it, most powerful people aren’t very nice, and of course kids won’t be happy if they are being made to work extremely hard.

It is a trade off many parents will make because they want the respect that comes with being seen as a part of these community.

Largely agree with all of this except that I think there are multiple motivations. I think some parents are motivated by anxiety. Power and academic rigor signal safety. Others are motivated by a desire to know what it’s like to be close to powerful people, as they may not have experienced it elsewhere. None of these motivations are particularly positive or healthy for young children. Especially the idea that respect is only owed to powerful people. For those who believe that, they are doing their children a disservice. The children should understand their inherent value

[Anonymous]

kid is a senior there and LOVES it
devastated about high school coming to an end
does have a ton of schoolwork, i don’t think i could handle it, but doesn’t seem to bother them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^
then why do you send your daughter there?

Good question. Have to admit we did consider transferring. But, like I said, school is remarkably good. And once you’re there, it’s risky to transfer to a new school Junior Year. Better to just grit your teeth and plough through. I. Words of Abe Lincoln “This too shall pass”

So you didn’t come to this realization about Sidwell until your daughter was in 10th grade? That doesn’t sound plausible. Just admit that you’re addicted to prestige. Like Harvard’s medical school, Sidwell’s “name” has you in a stranglehold. Well, you’re getting what you signed up for [shrug].

Honest question so I will answer it. Joined in 9th grade. Got some early warning signs that this place is toxic but we thought we should give it an honest shot. By the end of first term 9th grade, we were pretty sure. By March or April we were positive. But all transfer deadlines had expired. Then we were in 10th grade and you could apply in 10th grade fall but would not actually transfer until Junior fall. So, in some sense you are correct, we have to lie in this slimy, horrid, toxic soup of a bed that we all affectionately adore as “sadwell no friends.” Oh well.

Sorry your child has no friends at Sadwell. 😢 My child attends Sidwell and has plenty of friends and a robust social life. It’s the tale of two schools. Your child attends the version I know nothing about.

It’s parents like you that create the swamp-more like you and your kid are well aware and just don’t care. It’ll catch up to you someday, a lack of empathy…

[Anonymous]

To pp, how do you envision parents creating or fostering the community you want? It's challenging to meet families when the school draws students from across the metropolitan area and the students and families are so busy.