Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore
Why just the ladies? What a weirdly gendered statement.
Not really. The cultural expectation that women be ornamental has always been stronger. No one expects men to put on makeup to be seen in their own home.
Anonymous wrote:I looked back at old photos of my parents and grandparents are love how everybody is put together every day. They would NEVER go out in leggings, sweat pants, pjs! Why have Americans stopped caring how they look when they leave their house. I grew up with a mom who refused to even garden outside without makeup and decent clothes on. She always said somebody could stop by and she didn't want to look like she just woke up. I could count on my two hands how many times I have seen her without makeup outside of her bedroom.
I am 40 and when my kids were really little did not put much effort into my clothes (leggings, sweatshirts, etc at the bus stop) but this year I decided I needed to step up my game. I wake up every morning, wash my face, put on real clothes (jeans and a nice top, a dress, etc) and put some make up on (nothing heavy just some blush and eye liner). I can't believe how much better I feel every day!
I dress pretty casually but I'm strict about skin health and appearance, nails, hair, grooming in general and also weight and fitness. For example, in the summer I'm in shorts and t shirts but no hair on my legs, spider veins, cellulite, lumpiness in general, unkempt hair color.
Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore
Why just the ladies? What a weirdly gendered statement.
Not really. The cultural expectation that women be ornamental has always been stronger. No one expects men to put on makeup to be seen in their own home.
“Ornamental?????”
Please don’t tell me you are defending that, or hoping to bring it back.
We are not trophies or eye candy.
We are intelligent, loving, productive, strong beings. Stop reducing us to cardboard pinups!
Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore
Why just the ladies? What a weirdly gendered statement.
Not really. The cultural expectation that women be ornamental has always been stronger. No one expects men to put on makeup to be seen in their own home.
Not just make up, don't forget Spanx, heels, jewelry and other what nots.
Anonymous wrote:I looked back at old photos of my parents and grandparents are love how everybody is put together every day. They would NEVER go out in leggings, sweat pants, pjs! Why have Americans stopped caring how they look when they leave their house. I grew up with a mom who refused to even garden outside without makeup and decent clothes on. She always said somebody could stop by and she didn't want to look like she just woke up. I could count on my two hands how many times I have seen her without makeup outside of her bedroom.
I am 40 and when my kids were really little did not put much effort into my clothes (leggings, sweatshirts, etc at the bus stop) but this year I decided I needed to step up my game. I wake up every morning, wash my face, put on real clothes (jeans and a nice top, a dress, etc) and put some make up on (nothing heavy just some blush and eye liner). I can't believe how much better I feel every day!
I dress pretty casually but I'm strict about skin health and appearance, nails, hair, grooming in general and also weight and fitness. For example, in the summer I'm in shorts and t shirts but no hair on my legs, spider veins, cellulite, lumpiness in general, unkempt hair color.
Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore
You use "taking care of yourself" as code for "striving to appear physically attractive to others". How misogynistic of you.
I'm in excellent health and have excellent hygiene. I usually wear athletic clothing with my hair in a pony tail and no make up. Why should I care whether randos think I'm attractive or not?
I started my professional career, like a PP, being required to wear pantyhose and makeup. I'm SO glad those days are over!
It’s not about others thinking I’m attractive. It’s about respect for myself and respect for those around me. When I’m dressed up and put together, I work harder and do better in everything. You can tell my mental state by the state of my nails.
Besides, it takes just as much time to put on sweatpants as it does to put on a nice outfit. Or do your dressy clothes have some sort of weird contraptions?
I also started off my career in pantyhose and makeup and I wish business formal attire were still a thing. It made most people more present, focused, hardworking and more respectful.
We are degenerating as a society, unfortunately.
Pantyhose =/= respecting others
Perhaps not, hopping out of bed and going out half washed, with your greasy hair pulled into a ponytail, in your leggings to work or the doctor’s office is a huge FU to everyone you encounter.
As long as someone is clean, wearing sweat pants or leggings is not an FU to anyone. Why would you take it personally what anyone else wears?
I do take it personally because it shows a complete lack of manners, proper decorum and respect for others. It’s like picking your nose in public or spitting on the street. Sweatpants are for lounging around your house. They are not proper attire to wear in the outside world. Leggings are not pants. They are for being worn under dresses or for working out. If I see you running in the park, wearing either, I won’t mind, but if you’re wearing that out to dinner or work, yeah, it bothers me A LOT that I have to look at you being that rude.
It’s especially bad if you are the big and beautiful type that likes to wear leggings. I don’t want to see the cellulite in your thighs up that close and personal.
Why even bother getting dressed? Being naked works, too.
I cannot believe how people can be so oblivious to how rude they are.
So anyone who doesnt prescribe to DCUM user 555984832738's definition of style is "rude"? LOL puh-lease. You are delulu and are in fact, the rude one. Fat shaming too? Cherry on top.
Aw, and here we have it: a BB type who wears leggings to dinner…and wants all of us to ignore it because she’s fabulous just as she is.
Why are you busy obsessing over what other people are wearing rather than enjoying the company of your dining party and the food? I couldn't tell you what other people are wearing when I go out and I truly can't imagine their sartorial choices preventing me from having a good time.
For me going out to bars and restaurants is for people watching, not just for food/drinks and conversation with my friends and family. I cannot help but notice an obese woman in skin tight leggings as pants a table over from me. Perhaps, I’m not a self-absorbed as others are. I like to look at other people, not to judge, but to observe. I like seeing well dressed, manicured people. It makes me happy. It makes me feel good that others care about putting their best foot forward. It’s no different than when a stranger smiles and says hello rather than walking by me with a frown.
And if you’re dressed terribly in a nice place, I see it and take offense to it. It’s like you cannot be bothered with keeping a basic dress code for the sake of decency. I cannot make you dress decently, but you cannot make me see it as anything but disrespect and rudeness coupled with extreme self-satisfaction and self-absorption.
Lady you have issues. Perhaps look inside yourself to find happiness. No one cares if you are offended. Just like we don't care what you think of us. At least the grown adults don't. But stew away.
If you don’t care, then why are you responding? Not caring means, just that, not caring. You do care.
Like I said earlier, it’s been deeply amusing to see so many posters who thought that no one noticed their inappropriately bad clothing. We do. We don’t say anything, but we do. And yes, it does speak to us about what type of person you are. These accurate observations have absolutely nothing to do with our personal happiness. It just means we are observant.
And what we are trying to say is that we are not here for your pleasure. We truly do not care what you think about us. I guarantee you that I have more fun when I go out then you do because I am focusing on my food and my companions, not what some random people are wearing.
Keep telling yourself that. Why would a badly dressed woman have more fun than a put together one? Because you’re so fun and carefree you don’t need to try to look nice? Maybe the type of person who openly cares looking nice for herself and other people, feels more to begin with, which is why she cares about looking nice. It’s called having empathy. I think that people with more empathy have more fun.
I’m a clinical social worker. I have empathy in spades, and while you are judging me I am diagnosing you.
Plus, are you the same one who made the remark about big beautiful women and how disgusted you are by them? That is not very empathic.
Social work draws the very best people with deep hearts who just want to help. Unfortunately, it also the very worst of humanity, the type who salivate over and thoroughly enjoy other people’s misery; the type with a power trip in their position to change other people’s lives; the type who feel thoroughly superior to their clients.
While no remotely decent mental healthcare worker would deign to pretend to diagnose a person sight unseen from a forum post, I can very well guess which type of social worker you are. And I’ll bet you’re fugly to boot.
We obviously have a troll here, people. Please don’t feed her.
The thing is, there are people who genuinely believe that dressing up is a sign of self-respect. I had to stop watching Queer Eye because Tan France was one of them. I know it’s his job, but you can help people who want to dress better without saying that those who don’t have issues.
This isn’t a matter of dressing better, it’s about dressing appropriately. It’s okay to have different tastes than other people. That is a subjective matter of opinion. What is not okay is being dressed in inappropriate attire, such as wearing sweatpants anywhere outside of your house or the gym. It shows a considerable disrespect to the people around you. I cannot understand how not only do people not get that, they’re defensive and aggressive to those who do.
But how is it a sign of disrespect to me if someone is wearing sweatpants? I truly do not understand!
Well, unless you are queen of England, it's not. Well, even then its not.
OP you sound like people who have just discovered something and then can't shut up about how awesome it is and that everybody should try it, like going vegan or taking cold showers. Good for you for making this change that makes you happier but everybody cares about different things.
Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore
You use "taking care of yourself" as code for "striving to appear physically attractive to others". How misogynistic of you.
I'm in excellent health and have excellent hygiene. I usually wear athletic clothing with my hair in a pony tail and no make up. Why should I care whether randos think I'm attractive or not?
I started my professional career, like a PP, being required to wear pantyhose and makeup. I'm SO glad those days are over!
It’s not about others thinking I’m attractive. It’s about respect for myself and respect for those around me. When I’m dressed up and put together, I work harder and do better in everything. You can tell my mental state by the state of my nails.
Besides, it takes just as much time to put on sweatpants as it does to put on a nice outfit. Or do your dressy clothes have some sort of weird contraptions?
I also started off my career in pantyhose and makeup and I wish business formal attire were still a thing. It made most people more present, focused, hardworking and more respectful.
We are degenerating as a society, unfortunately.
Pantyhose =/= respecting others
Perhaps not, hopping out of bed and going out half washed, with your greasy hair pulled into a ponytail, in your leggings to work or the doctor’s office is a huge FU to everyone you encounter.
As long as someone is clean, wearing sweat pants or leggings is not an FU to anyone. Why would you take it personally what anyone else wears?
I do take it personally because it shows a complete lack of manners, proper decorum and respect for others. It’s like picking your nose in public or spitting on the street. Sweatpants are for lounging around your house. They are not proper attire to wear in the outside world. Leggings are not pants. They are for being worn under dresses or for working out. If I see you running in the park, wearing either, I won’t mind, but if you’re wearing that out to dinner or work, yeah, it bothers me A LOT that I have to look at you being that rude.
It’s especially bad if you are the big and beautiful type that likes to wear leggings. I don’t want to see the cellulite in your thighs up that close and personal.
Why even bother getting dressed? Being naked works, too.
I cannot believe how people can be so oblivious to how rude they are.
So anyone who doesnt prescribe to DCUM user 555984832738's definition of style is "rude"? LOL puh-lease. You are delulu and are in fact, the rude one. Fat shaming too? Cherry on top.
Aw, and here we have it: a BB type who wears leggings to dinner…and wants all of us to ignore it because she’s fabulous just as she is.
Why are you busy obsessing over what other people are wearing rather than enjoying the company of your dining party and the food? I couldn't tell you what other people are wearing when I go out and I truly can't imagine their sartorial choices preventing me from having a good time.
For me going out to bars and restaurants is for people watching, not just for food/drinks and conversation with my friends and family. I cannot help but notice an obese woman in skin tight leggings as pants a table over from me. Perhaps, I’m not a self-absorbed as others are. I like to look at other people, not to judge, but to observe. I like seeing well dressed, manicured people. It makes me happy. It makes me feel good that others care about putting their best foot forward. It’s no different than when a stranger smiles and says hello rather than walking by me with a frown.
And if you’re dressed terribly in a nice place, I see it and take offense to it. It’s like you cannot be bothered with keeping a basic dress code for the sake of decency. I cannot make you dress decently, but you cannot make me see it as anything but disrespect and rudeness coupled with extreme self-satisfaction and self-absorption.
Lady you have issues. Perhaps look inside yourself to find happiness. No one cares if you are offended. Just like we don't care what you think of us. At least the grown adults don't. But stew away.
If you don’t care, then why are you responding? Not caring means, just that, not caring. You do care.
Like I said earlier, it’s been deeply amusing to see so many posters who thought that no one noticed their inappropriately bad clothing. We do. We don’t say anything, but we do. And yes, it does speak to us about what type of person you are. These accurate observations have absolutely nothing to do with our personal happiness. It just means we are observant.
And what we are trying to say is that we are not here for your pleasure. We truly do not care what you think about us. I guarantee you that I have more fun when I go out then you do because I am focusing on my food and my companions, not what some random people are wearing.
Keep telling yourself that. Why would a badly dressed woman have more fun than a put together one? Because you’re so fun and carefree you don’t need to try to look nice? Maybe the type of person who openly cares looking nice for herself and other people, feels more to begin with, which is why she cares about looking nice. It’s called having empathy. I think that people with more empathy have more fun.
I’m a clinical social worker. I have empathy in spades, and while you are judging me I am diagnosing you.
Plus, are you the same one who made the remark about big beautiful women and how disgusted you are by them? That is not very empathic.
Social work draws the very best people with deep hearts who just want to help. Unfortunately, it also the very worst of humanity, the type who salivate over and thoroughly enjoy other people’s misery; the type with a power trip in their position to change other people’s lives; the type who feel thoroughly superior to their clients.
While no remotely decent mental healthcare worker would deign to pretend to diagnose a person sight unseen from a forum post, I can very well guess which type of social worker you are. And I’ll bet you’re fugly to boot.
She can't unsee your pathology the same way you can't ignore other people's leggings.
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