I cannot believe there are still people out there spanking their children...

[Anonymous]

My PhD-educated, UMC dad spanked me, so let’s just go ahead and put that nonsensical anecdote to bed.

[Anonymous]

Why is it ok to hit some people and not others?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think hitting/spanking your kids is just lazy parenting.

Do better as a parent and actually take charge in being the grownup in the situation. Say "no," take stuff away, ground them, hell... even shame them. Shaming is so much more productive than hitting, imho.

I totally disagree with you, from my own perspective on experiencing both shame and spanking.

Are you a sociopath? For the vast majority of people, shaming is quite effective in changing behavior.

Shaming was effective, but it hurt much worse than the spanking.

That's the point of shame. It's supposed to hurt - that's what makes it effective. The pain from spanking goes away, but the pain from shaming sticks and makes you think about your choices.

I stand by my claim - don't hit, but definitely do shame.

I get what you’re saying, and I do think shame has some value in society. We use it in all kinds of ways we don’t often think about.

But I think for little kids, it can easily go too far (just like spanking can, of course). And from my perspective, spanking was effective for me without long lasting pain. Like a minute of pain, and then done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“ they NEVER forget it. The hurt and rejection it puts into their hearts will be something they tell a caregiver about when they are dying 70 years later. It will be something that they understand drove much of the unhappiness in their lives and in their adult relationships and which troubled their own experience of parenting because raising kids makes them fully understand how badly they were treated.”

Sorry, but this is simply absurd.

+1 million

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My PhD-educated, UMC dad spanked me, so let’s just go ahead and put that nonsensical anecdote to bed.

When DCUM has run out of arguments, they resort to “well, I can’t argue on merit or logic, so I’ll just say it’s uneducated and trashy.”

This is when you know you’ve won.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m well-educated and very comfortable financially, and I’ve used spanking as a disciplinary option.

saying you're a well educated spanker is an oxymoron.

Find a dictionary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if i ever feel like i'm being a bad parent i think - at least i dont hit my kids. I dont know how you could hit a kid and sleep well at night. nuts.

I was spanked a handful of times growing up and that bothered me not one bit growing up. It was the emotional neglect and passive aggression in my household that effed me up. Don't be so smug.

how can you tell the difference?
also spanking is emotional neglect.

Ah, do you know what emotional neglect is? I don't think you do. Stop playing obtuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:94 percent.

“ Even as several western European countries have outlawed spanking, surveys suggest 94 percent of American parents spank their children by the time they are three or four years old, although that number hides great variability in the regularity and severity of the punishment, as well as the context in which the punishment is delivered.”

https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/politics/2002/06/26/study-harm-outweighs-benefits-of-spanking/0f72fe3e-d49e-4a04-993c-d0934a1df286/

This article is over 20 years old. It has no relevance to young children today, or to your children’s peers…if you are UMC and spank your children, you are an absolute outlier

OK, says you. Lady you are not the authority and can only speak for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe that people ascribe all sorts of minor and major negative results to a form of discipline - while the the discipline can be abused, most people are not abusive and discipline and boundaries are good for kids.

Hitting kids is not good for kids.

It’s not good for anyone. Some day, kids will hit adults and other kids. They will also grow with low self esteem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spanking is so trashy. The only parents I know who talk about giving their kids a “good seat to the behind” cite the Bible in their parenting and are conservative. I don’t know anyone well educated and financially comfortable who resorts to this. We have other ways of instilling values in our children that don’t involve violence.

Most people, including UC, UMC, and everyone else, spanks their kids. You may think that everyone is trashy but that's a different post.

Uh, no, not at all. I am 100% clear that me, my sibling, my cousins and my friends do not hit our kids. I am positive of this.

No you are not 100 positive. Have you actually had conversations with all your friends and cousins about spanking. Are they all open to having a real conversation with you without having to delve into conversations that may leave hurt feelings. For some, maybe many, childrearing is like religion and politics, "don't engage and divert the conversation".

[Anonymous]

The problem is that adult children very rarely share their intimacy struggles or even their triggers with their parents. They can be outwardly successful in every way and you’ll never know what your corporal punishment did to their wiring or how it lingers in their relationships. Thankfully, most are resolved not to continue the legacy

[Anonymous]

Intimacy struggles? Really?.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My PhD-educated, UMC dad spanked me, so let’s just go ahead and put that nonsensical anecdote to bed.

right but what was that 1970?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My PhD-educated, UMC dad spanked me, so let’s just go ahead and put that nonsensical anecdote to bed.

When DCUM has run out of arguments, they resort to “well, I can’t argue on merit or logic, so I’ll just say it’s uneducated and trashy.”

This is when you know you’ve won.

'I should be allowed to hit children!'
truly a battle worth winning. you will sleep well tonight sir.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if i ever feel like i'm being a bad parent i think - at least i dont hit my kids. I dont know how you could hit a kid and sleep well at night. nuts.

I was spanked a handful of times growing up and that bothered me not one bit growing up. It was the emotional neglect and passive aggression in my household that effed me up. Don't be so smug.

how can you tell the difference?
also spanking is emotional neglect.

Ah, do you know what emotional neglect is? I don't think you do. Stop playing obtuse.

what?