Unpaid leave

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a new poster after 10 odd pages, I can’t say for certain but perhaps I’m the first who’s actually done what OP proposed? Maybe- anyway, at the very height of Covid I had 6 mos paid leave and then did a year additional unpaid. I work for an enormous company and staff was moved around as needed (it’s a 100% in-person job so during Covid lots of accommodations were made for many many different reasons). When my kiddo was 18 mos, daycare’s mostly back open, my mental and physical health restored… I very happily returned to work. Would this have worked at another company or even at mine during non-Covid times? Probably not but doesn’t hurt to ask, although I will also add that my case was helped because I had had delivery complications that my employer was aware of. And I can report that I felt totally different about returning at 18 mos versus 6.

I’ve worked at multiple F500 companies and they would have told you that you needed to quit. No company wants to set this precedent even if someone does have complications - and I can’t think of any complications that would require 18 months of time off for a job that was remote.

Also curious about how your team handled your absence for 18 months? I would think your colleagues would feel very burnt out and taken advantage of.

I'm shocked the company let the LOA linger on. 99% of companies say thank you, we will part ways, and would love to have you back if there's a role available when you're ready to return to the workforce. I also wonder how it worked from a benefits perspective....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Idk why I can’t quit this but I genuinely hope this will be my last time defending myself from this level of insanity. I wish I could high five the few people who I feel like live on the same planet as I do - thank you

OP, the terrible, here.

For my previous maternity leave with my fake first born, it was during the height of COVID. I went back after six months, cried most days for a long time and sucked it up because I still got to WFH as it was the height of the pandemic.

My employer no longer allows me to WFH and the answer to that request is a definite no. And after fighting to get myself from a very dark place after my first, I know there has to be a better way for me to go back.

So again, I was looking for experiences of those who extended any amount of leave. I am unsure where i said that my grand plan was to ask for an indefinite amount of time, but many have certainly taken that and run with it.

At this point anything I say is only pouring gasoline on this dumpster fire. This has definitely been an eye opening experience. I can see now why America is the way it is. So sad.

America wouldn’t be the successful country it is if people didn’t go to work. That’s the problem. You had a child and you also want to do both. Eventually you have to go back. Sure European countries offer longer leaves but you also don’t have the opportunities you have here. An extra 6 months of leave to make 30% less my entire career? No thanks. I get it’s frustrating that you want to be home and also have a rewarding career but something eventually has to give. Just own it that you want to be home and stay home for a while. Or don’t. But stop blaming it on your country. It’s a GOOD thing that you’ll miss out of opportunities at work by not going to work.

np here. In what ways is America more successful than Canada? I'm honestly curious. Canadians can currently take between 12 -18 months off with maternity leave. In the 90's we took 6 months maternity. My contract allowed an extra 2 months unpaid leave if we requested it one month before our 6 months was up. Most of us took the extra 2 months. We really see things differently. OP, this Canadian's advice is to ask for 2 months unpaid leave. I also went back part time for a couple months after my second baby. My replacement and I shared the job. Part time helped me get used to balancing home and work life, daycare, etc.

Now I'm in my 50's and own a busy business with my partner. We have 30 employees and they would all say we are very considerate of their families and time off.

Oh lord. If you don’t know why America is objectively a greater country than Canada…we don’t needjer input donchaknow . Visit America sometime!! You’ll find out.

God, I hope this is sarcasm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a new poster after 10 odd pages, I can’t say for certain but perhaps I’m the first who’s actually done what OP proposed? Maybe- anyway, at the very height of Covid I had 6 mos paid leave and then did a year additional unpaid. I work for an enormous company and staff was moved around as needed (it’s a 100% in-person job so during Covid lots of accommodations were made for many many different reasons). When my kiddo was 18 mos, daycare’s mostly back open, my mental and physical health restored… I very happily returned to work. Would this have worked at another company or even at mine during non-Covid times? Probably not but doesn’t hurt to ask, although I will also add that my case was helped because I had had delivery complications that my employer was aware of. And I can report that I felt totally different about returning at 18 mos versus 6.

OP. Thanks for sharing. Did you ask for a full year or did you extend in increments? Unfortunately I know this would not work at my company, but curious how you approached. Thank you!

A great way to burn your bridge would be to keep going back for extensions. Ask for the maximum time up front. If you really feel like you’d like to come back early, it’s much easier to explore that option then to continuously be disruptive by asking for extensions.

If you can swing it financially, I would ask to return 1 year from now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a new poster after 10 odd pages, I can’t say for certain but perhaps I’m the first who’s actually done what OP proposed? Maybe- anyway, at the very height of Covid I had 6 mos paid leave and then did a year additional unpaid. I work for an enormous company and staff was moved around as needed (it’s a 100% in-person job so during Covid lots of accommodations were made for many many different reasons). When my kiddo was 18 mos, daycare’s mostly back open, my mental and physical health restored… I very happily returned to work. Would this have worked at another company or even at mine during non-Covid times? Probably not but doesn’t hurt to ask, although I will also add that my case was helped because I had had delivery complications that my employer was aware of. And I can report that I felt totally different about returning at 18 mos versus 6.

OP. Thanks for sharing. Did you ask for a full year or did you extend in increments? Unfortunately I know this would not work at my company, but curious how you approached. Thank you!

A great way to burn your bridge would be to keep going back for extensions. Ask for the maximum time up front. If you really feel like you’d like to come back early, it’s much easier to explore that option then to continuously be disruptive by asking for extensions.

If you can swing it financially, I would ask to return 1 year from now.

Agree, just surprised to hear a company allow 1.5 years of leave in this area/country. Maybe I should ask if you’re hiring instead

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a new poster after 10 odd pages, I can’t say for certain but perhaps I’m the first who’s actually done what OP proposed? Maybe- anyway, at the very height of Covid I had 6 mos paid leave and then did a year additional unpaid. I work for an enormous company and staff was moved around as needed (it’s a 100% in-person job so during Covid lots of accommodations were made for many many different reasons). When my kiddo was 18 mos, daycare’s mostly back open, my mental and physical health restored… I very happily returned to work. Would this have worked at another company or even at mine during non-Covid times? Probably not but doesn’t hurt to ask, although I will also add that my case was helped because I had had delivery complications that my employer was aware of. And I can report that I felt totally different about returning at 18 mos versus 6.

OP. Thanks for sharing. Did you ask for a full year or did you extend in increments? Unfortunately I know this would not work at my company, but curious how you approached. Thank you!

A great way to burn your bridge would be to keep going back for extensions. Ask for the maximum time up front. If you really feel like you’d like to come back early, it’s much easier to explore that option then to continuously be disruptive by asking for extensions.

If you can swing it financially, I would ask to return 1 year from now.

Agree, just surprised to hear a company allow 1.5 years of leave in this area/country. Maybe I should ask if you’re hiring instead

Accenture and most of the big consulting companies allow client-facing parents to use a personal leave for up to 3 years. There’s no guarantee of future employment because obviously someone else needs to perform your job. But having worked in HR for several large consulting companies, we’ve always been able to return someone from personal leave within a few months of their request to return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a new poster after 10 odd pages, I can’t say for certain but perhaps I’m the first who’s actually done what OP proposed? Maybe- anyway, at the very height of Covid I had 6 mos paid leave and then did a year additional unpaid. I work for an enormous company and staff was moved around as needed (it’s a 100% in-person job so during Covid lots of accommodations were made for many many different reasons). When my kiddo was 18 mos, daycare’s mostly back open, my mental and physical health restored… I very happily returned to work. Would this have worked at another company or even at mine during non-Covid times? Probably not but doesn’t hurt to ask, although I will also add that my case was helped because I had had delivery complications that my employer was aware of. And I can report that I felt totally different about returning at 18 mos versus 6.

OP. Thanks for sharing. Did you ask for a full year or did you extend in increments? Unfortunately I know this would not work at my company, but curious how you approached. Thank you!

I’m pp:
Remember, this was pre-vaccine Covid times at a job with zero WFH options. I came in to meet with my bosses. Repeated the highlights of what I had been through. Explained there was no way I could imagine coming in before the following September (which is exactly when I returned). They were professional- these were people who knew me well- and said they’d get it processed up the management chain and with HR. Definitely not drip drip drip.

I know folks who are Feds who have also made use of unpaid leave at various times. It’s very agency/circumstance dependent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a new poster after 10 odd pages, I can’t say for certain but perhaps I’m the first who’s actually done what OP proposed? Maybe- anyway, at the very height of Covid I had 6 mos paid leave and then did a year additional unpaid. I work for an enormous company and staff was moved around as needed (it’s a 100% in-person job so during Covid lots of accommodations were made for many many different reasons). When my kiddo was 18 mos, daycare’s mostly back open, my mental and physical health restored… I very happily returned to work. Would this have worked at another company or even at mine during non-Covid times? Probably not but doesn’t hurt to ask, although I will also add that my case was helped because I had had delivery complications that my employer was aware of. And I can report that I felt totally different about returning at 18 mos versus 6.

OP. Thanks for sharing. Did you ask for a full year or did you extend in increments? Unfortunately I know this would not work at my company, but curious how you approached. Thank you!

I’m pp:
Remember, this was pre-vaccine Covid times at a job with zero WFH options. I came in to meet with my bosses. Repeated the highlights of what I had been through. Explained there was no way I could imagine coming in before the following September (which is exactly when I returned). They were professional- these were people who knew me well- and said they’d get it processed up the management chain and with HR. Definitely not drip drip drip.

I know folks who are Feds who have also made use of unpaid leave at various times. It’s very agency/circumstance dependent.

One last thing I’ll add and which is probably more important than the (perhaps extreme) details of my situation:
The point is that I was miserable at the thought of returning at 6 months, but very happy to come at 18 mos. If you think this is you, op, then consider walking away from a job/situation you dread even if they say no to a leave of absence. If you can afford a year unpaid, you can afford to quit. Sacrificing some rungs on the career ladder will happen either way tbh. It was definitely the right choice for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Idk why I can’t quit this but I genuinely hope this will be my last time defending myself from this level of insanity. I wish I could high five the few people who I feel like live on the same planet as I do - thank you

OP, the terrible, here.

For my previous maternity leave with my fake first born, it was during the height of COVID. I went back after six months, cried most days for a long time and sucked it up because I still got to WFH as it was the height of the pandemic.

My employer no longer allows me to WFH and the answer to that request is a definite no. And after fighting to get myself from a very dark place after my first, I know there has to be a better way for me to go back.

So again, I was looking for experiences of those who extended any amount of leave. I am unsure where i said that my grand plan was to ask for an indefinite amount of time, but many have certainly taken that and run with it.

At this point anything I say is only pouring gasoline on this dumpster fire. This has definitely been an eye opening experience. I can see now why America is the way it is. So sad.

America wouldn’t be the successful country it is if people didn’t go to work. That’s the problem. You had a child and you also want to do both. Eventually you have to go back. Sure European countries offer longer leaves but you also don’t have the opportunities you have here. An extra 6 months of leave to make 30% less my entire career? No thanks. I get it’s frustrating that you want to be home and also have a rewarding career but something eventually has to give. Just own it that you want to be home and stay home for a while. Or don’t. But stop blaming it on your country. It’s a GOOD thing that you’ll miss out of opportunities at work by not going to work.

np here. In what ways is America more successful than Canada? I'm honestly curious. Canadians can currently take between 12 -18 months off with maternity leave. In the 90's we took 6 months maternity. My contract allowed an extra 2 months unpaid leave if we requested it one month before our 6 months was up. Most of us took the extra 2 months. We really see things differently. OP, this Canadian's advice is to ask for 2 months unpaid leave. I also went back part time for a couple months after my second baby. My replacement and I shared the job. Part time helped me get used to balancing home and work life, daycare, etc.

Now I'm in my 50's and own a busy business with my partner. We have 30 employees and they would all say we are very considerate of their families and time off.

Oh lord. If you don’t know why America is objectively a greater country than Canada…we don’t needjer input donchaknow . Visit America sometime!! You’ll find out.

God, I hope this is sarcasm.

Go eat some yellow snow

[Anonymous]

I know people who have taken 1 year sabbaticals at different organizations -- one at a large law firm, one at an NGO, and one at a federal agency. None of these were for having kids but I would assume working somewhere that offers sabbaticals like this for other reasons (sometimes for education or research, but also sometimes for totally personal reasons, like the lawyer spent the year living abroad with their children, not working) would also be more inclined to allow an extended parental leave.

Some companies really are just better on not only parental leave issues but work-life issues in general. Places that really value institutional knowledge and people who come in with a high amount of education and specialized knowledge. It's not every employer but some people on this thread who are like "no company would allow this!" simply have not worked in places that do, in fact, allow this. Especially for high level employees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Idk why I can’t quit this but I genuinely hope this will be my last time defending myself from this level of insanity. I wish I could high five the few people who I feel like live on the same planet as I do - thank you

OP, the terrible, here.

For my previous maternity leave with my fake first born, it was during the height of COVID. I went back after six months, cried most days for a long time and sucked it up because I still got to WFH as it was the height of the pandemic.

My employer no longer allows me to WFH and the answer to that request is a definite no. And after fighting to get myself from a very dark place after my first, I know there has to be a better way for me to go back.

So again, I was looking for experiences of those who extended any amount of leave. I am unsure where i said that my grand plan was to ask for an indefinite amount of time, but many have certainly taken that and run with it.

At this point anything I say is only pouring gasoline on this dumpster fire. This has definitely been an eye opening experience. I can see now why America is the way it is. So sad.

America wouldn’t be the successful country it is if people didn’t go to work. That’s the problem. You had a child and you also want to do both. Eventually you have to go back. Sure European countries offer longer leaves but you also don’t have the opportunities you have here. An extra 6 months of leave to make 30% less my entire career? No thanks. I get it’s frustrating that you want to be home and also have a rewarding career but something eventually has to give. Just own it that you want to be home and stay home for a while. Or don’t. But stop blaming it on your country. It’s a GOOD thing that you’ll miss out of opportunities at work by not going to work.

np here. In what ways is America more successful than Canada? I'm honestly curious. Canadians can currently take between 12 -18 months off with maternity leave. In the 90's we took 6 months maternity. My contract allowed an extra 2 months unpaid leave if we requested it one month before our 6 months was up. Most of us took the extra 2 months. We really see things differently. OP, this Canadian's advice is to ask for 2 months unpaid leave. I also went back part time for a couple months after my second baby. My replacement and I shared the job. Part time helped me get used to balancing home and work life, daycare, etc.

Now I'm in my 50's and own a busy business with my partner. We have 30 employees and they would all say we are very considerate of their families and time off.

Oh lord. If you don’t know why America is objectively a greater country than Canada…we don’t needjer input donchaknow . Visit America sometime!! You’ll find out.

God, I hope this is sarcasm.

Go eat some yellow snow

Sick burn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know people who have taken 1 year sabbaticals at different organizations -- one at a large law firm, one at an NGO, and one at a federal agency. None of these were for having kids but I would assume working somewhere that offers sabbaticals like this for other reasons (sometimes for education or research, but also sometimes for totally personal reasons, like the lawyer spent the year living abroad with their children, not working) would also be more inclined to allow an extended parental leave.

Some companies really are just better on not only parental leave issues but work-life issues in general. Places that really value institutional knowledge and people who come in with a high amount of education and specialized knowledge. It's not every employer but some people on this thread who are like "no company would allow this!" simply have not worked in places that do, in fact, allow this. Especially for high level employees.

A sabbatical is different from an 18 month maternity leave. I’ve worked at Morgan Stanley, Goldman Sachs, and prudential. None of these companies would allow this, so I’m sure there are companies out there- but not many and not for this type of reason. They would set a precedent that they don’t want to set. Pregnancy is much more common than a once in a lifetime type situation that your friend (probably a partner at Latham making $5M) had.

[Anonymous]

To put things in perspective, many women who go back to work are not ready to leave the baby. Doesn’t mean we can take off indefinitely- you may never be “ready.”

[Anonymous]

Np - I’m a fed who took unpaid leave when paid parental leave wasn’t yet offered. We work on projects for 6-12 months at a time, so if we’re out we’re just not assigned to a project. No one has to cover for us. Later when I was talking to a more senior manager about that/ offering people unpaid leave in general, he pointed out that the burden on the agency is paying our health insurance premiums while we’re out. So it’s still costing them money (aside from whatever work isn’t getting done with one fewer person.) I think you should ask, op, but I’d be surprised. Also, do you have a sense when you would be ready?

[Anonymous]

I’d be hesitant to approve this because I’d be concerned you’d never return. I don’t see what will be different in a year. Personally it only gets harder to return to work the longer you’re at home. Children develop personalities, you get into a routine and your spouse is not used to you working. Every woman I know who is want ready to return to work after maternity leave never was ready. They then had another kid and are still home with the kids.

If you’re career minded and want to work, you’ll be ready to go back to work now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d be hesitant to approve this because I’d be concerned you’d never return. I don’t see what will be different in a year. Personally it only gets harder to return to work the longer you’re at home. Children develop personalities, you get into a routine and your spouse is not used to you working. Every woman I know who is want ready to return to work after maternity leave never was ready. They then had another kid and are still home with the kids.

If you’re career minded and want to work, you’ll be ready to go back to work now.

+1. For me it would depend on the type of performer you were and your reasons for wanting more time, but I wouldn’t approve a year extension - I would be open to an extra month in pretty much any scenario though.