if you're in dc I hope you've already applied for the lottery, deadline is March 1 for pk3. |
You cannot make a child more mature by changing their grade. Maturity is by age, not grade. |
And kids can be more or less mature than peers of the same age. What is your point? |
Oh honey. I’m really sorry you are such a spectacularly bad parent. That’s why you are lashing out at the better parents, including those who didn’t redshirt. You can take a parenting class, you know. They might be able to help you. |
A lot going on in this comment. 1. A 12 year old in high school is a different deal. That's a kid who is not even through puberty going to school with kids who are mostly done with puberty. Huge difference, of course they seemed immature. It's not the subject of the thread. 2. Redshirting does not help kids mature. It might help place a child in a more appropriate cohort for their maturity level, but since we're talking entirely about summer birthdays, they are likely to be an outlier no matter what. Either on the mature side for their grade or on the immature side for their grade. Just based on age of course. Redshirting doesn't "solve" this. It's just the reality of being a summer birthday. 3. The point PPs are trying to make is that redshirting may not resolve your issue if you are just worried about your kid being an outlier. In fact, it might make them more of an outlier, because if they are visibly older than the rest of their class, that might call attention to itself. 4. Also, maturity doesn't track perfectly with the MONTH a kid was born, and the older kids get, the less it tracks. Plenty of kids with summer birthdays are as mature if not more so than kids with birthdays during the school year. 5. Which is why many people are suggesting that redshirting for the hell of it is a mistake, and that peopel should only redshirt if there is a delay of some kind which an extra year of PK would help with, including a social maturity delay. |
Well if someone is immature for their age e.g. a 5 y.o that has the maturity level of a four year old - they will not seem immature in a group of 4 year olds. They will seem immature in a group of five year olds. Thus while redshirting does not help them be more mature for their age it helps them by making their lack if maturity invisible in a younger age cohort. The red shirted kid will not seem immature in the younger cohort and fit better in with younger peers. The kids who skip a grade or two May not be immature for their age but will seem immature in a cohort of kids 2 years older than they are (like the 12 year olds in ninth grade) |
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Why are DCUMs anti-redshirters consistently so crazy and unhinged? They are one of the weirdest subgroups on DCUM for sure.
I love these threads for the quality entertainment value the anti-redshirters provide, but I’ve never been able to figure out exact why they are so weird. |
Possibly. Though it can depend on their physical maturity, too. One fear I have with redshirting, especially if you do it in a school where it's not common, is that eventually your 5 year old will be 13, and being a full year ahead of peers during puberty can be incredibly hard. Just throwing that out there. I think it's especially hard for girls but some boys are also pretty uncomfortable being the outlier. I'd also note that one reason people dislike redshirting is that they don't want their kids to be in middle school with 14 year olds just because that 14 year old's parents though he was too small or young to attend Kindergarten on time. There are good reasons to keep the vast majority of kids with an age cohort where the age is consistently within a 12 month span, so that they hit physical and maturity milestones at roughly the same time. If a child is significantly advanced or delayed outside the normal range of development for that 12 month span, that's an argument for redshirting or skipping a grade. But doing it as a matter of course really messes with the dynamics of the grade. And doing it selfishly to get your kid an advantage is honestly just unkind. |
Because they don't want their kids in the same grade with a bunch of kids who are over a year older, for a variety of reasons. I don't know why this is so hard for you to figure out. Redshirting impacts the makeup of the class, and people want their kids in a class with same age kids. This is not hard. |
I think there is only one PP making the same tired argument over and over again without success. If it’s such a mistake surely you have some data to back it up, lets see it. Because I don’t know a single person who regrets it. No matter how many different ways people try to make the ineffectual arguments with no facts. |
Well then they are ridiculous drama queens who clearly have no real problems in life. What a stupid thing to be this worked up about. You haven’t answered the question for me, in any event. I want to know what you are so freaking weird. My kids have been in the same grade with redshirted kids all the way through and I’d be embarrassed to even write what you did. So why are you so weird? |
Child 1 is born September 15th, 2019. Parents do not redshirt, and this child starts Kindergarten as a 4 year old and turns 5 in September. Child 2 is born July 15th, 2018. Parents redshirt, and instead of starting their child on time as a 5 year old, they start as a 6 year old. So now Child 1, who is already the smallest and youngest kid in class, is in school with a child who is 14 months older. If Child 2 is developmentally normal, this will mean that Child 2 is significantly larger, more academically advanced, will hit puberty more than a year before their kid, etc. This isn't even my situation and I'm not even "anti-redshirt" in the way you mean (I live in a district where redshirting is next to impossible, and only happens when there is true need, which I think is how it should always be, but I don't resent parents who redshirt), but I understand why the parents of Child 1 would be uncomfortable with the redshirting of Child 2, and would especially be uncomfortable if there were 6 or 7 "Child 2s" in their grade, because it puts their child in the situation of being a significant outlier in terms of age, size, and maturity, despite their child starting "on time" according to the age guidelines provided by the school I think the only weird thing is that you can't understand this. It's pretty basic. Maybe you are the weird one? |
Yeah, my now-teen kids have been in class with kids over a year older than them multiple times, and like most normal parents in the class, I didn’t think anything of it. I get that you are one of these hyper-competitive parents who sees parenting as a zero sum game, but in the real world, you’re weird. Sorry to break it to you. Someone above, maybe you, posted some nonsense about how redshirting was unkind, and I think that gets to the heart of it for me: the rank hypocrisy you all show. You claw and fight your way into competitive school districts, you pay for extra tutoring and activities, you engage in a million activities that are qualitatively known to have negative impact on other kids, but no, you’re focused on some totally imaginary unkindness. What a bunch of hypocritical nonsense. Teach your kids some resilience and stop being a hypocrite. Your kids will be better for it. |
Kids grow at different rates. I have a young child. They are appropriate for their age. You don’t compare your young child to a held back child where there can be a 12-18 month difference. |
We regretted it. Our child skipped a grade to make up for it. |