What are the most common ways women waste their 20s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting that a lot of the advice is contradictory: "date lots of different people" and "sleep with the hot guy", vs. "only date for marriage" and marry the good guy while you're young.

I think it depends how much you want to get married. For some women it's their main goal in life; others can take it or leave it, especially now that women have more economic opportunities and single motherhood is not so stigmatized.

For a lot of people, it’s not that marriage is a main goal, it’s that they want a good partner to go through life with. Many men and women (not just women) enjoy being with someone who is their best friend, supporter, and lover.

Some people like being alone, some people like sharing their life with another person. People are different and want different things. No need to be snarky about those who want different things and want to live their lives in different ways.

I'm the "it depends" PP and I wasn't intending to snark on either choice. It's fine to prioritize finding a partner. It's also fine to prioritize any number of other things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pretending for a moment this is not another incel thread.
What makes any of you think your dating advice from 20 to 40 years ago is at all relevant to women 25 and younger?

Because while there may have been a number of overt changes to the externals of culture, fundamentally people are pretty much the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When people tell you who they are, believe them. Wishy washy time-wasting men will tell you who they are if you’re listening.

Never make someone a priority who only makes you an option. Too many guys "back burner" women--not brushing them off, but not really making it a priority to see them. Once you realize this, you feel better dropping them than waiting on their call next week.

Don't date two guys at once, if you like one more than the other. (I always liked one more than the other, so what was the point of continuing on with the other? Even if one did not turn out to be THE one, I still knew I had to end it with the other, because I was capable of liking someone else more, and I just could not continue onward knowing that.) You're looking for fireworks, not the loser between two options.

Enjoy your youth. There is plenty of time to be married with kids. You're only an unattached, can fly to wherever for a week, stay out late with friends, go to happy hour each night if you want to, catch that interesting author at Sixth & I any random weeknight age once (or maybe you'll have that time again when you are 50, but you won't have friends who want to dance all night then).

[Anonymous]

Moving to be in the same city as a guy you are dating, but not engaged to. Every woman I know who has done this broke up plus had the pressure of living in a place for which she had no interest.

[Anonymous]

Do not get married + have kids. Travel, save your $, get a career + education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying right after college is cool and smart. You should be in that mentality.

Sleeping around aka "dating" around is gross, unhealthy, and leads to mental despair.

Your laptop, PowerPoint, Excel, email job is not actually important.

Stop being an alcoholic.

Traveling is a time and money sink.

Definitely an incel thread now

It speaks to your immaturity you think this is some edgy insult. There's nothing wrong with single young men and women being celibate. That sort of purity, restraint and impulse control in 2023 is commendable.

[Anonymous]

The way women waste their 20's is by getting older.

They all do it, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let’s say you believe that your mid-late 20s are the best time to meet a partner. You may disagree but let’s say for arguments sake. What are the most common mistakes women make that waste the “best” relationship-building years, and how would you advise Gen Z women to not repeat these mistakes? Or if this was you, what advice would you give your younger self?

I’ll start: I always wanted a relationship, but could not move on easily from rejection and breakup and wasted precious months moving over failed romances. I also wasted time trying to change the minds of men who just wanted casual sex. I had been exposed to too much online misogyny and believed that if I held out and proved that I was “not that kind of girl” and that I was the type you would marry, not just sleep with, instead of just ignoring the guys who had this mentality. The best advice to my 25 year old self would be to move on, and move on faster.

Grow up and take full responsibility for your own choices and decision which you made as an adult. It wasn't the fault of the guys you were dating, it wasn't the fault of the patriarchy, it wasn't the fault of the online misogyny you were exposed to.

OWN your own life for a change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let’s say you believe that your mid-late 20s are the best time to meet a partner. You may disagree but let’s say for arguments sake. What are the most common mistakes women make that waste the “best” relationship-building years, and how would you advise Gen Z women to not repeat these mistakes? Or if this was you, what advice would you give your younger self?

I’ll start: I always wanted a relationship, but could not move on easily from rejection and breakup and wasted precious months moving over failed romances. I also wasted time trying to change the minds of men who just wanted casual sex. I had been exposed to too much online misogyny and believed that if I held out and proved that I was “not that kind of girl” and that I was the type you would marry, not just sleep with, instead of just ignoring the guys who had this mentality. The best advice to my 25 year old self would be to move on, and move on faster.

Grow up and take full responsibility for your own choices and decision which you made as an adult. It wasn't the fault of the guys you were dating, it wasn't the fault of the patriarchy, it wasn't the fault of the online misogyny you were exposed to.

OWN your own life for a change.

So you think we live our lives in a vacuum and only our personal decisions matter? That isn’t how people operate, but go ahead and live a misguided life! I certainly won’t change your mind with this post- you are a self-made individual!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying right after college is cool and smart. You should be in that mentality.

Sleeping around aka "dating" around is gross, unhealthy, and leads to mental despair.

Your laptop, PowerPoint, Excel, email job is not actually important.

Stop being an alcoholic.

Traveling is a time and money sink.

Your first two statements are harsh with a grain of truth and the third is definitely true.

The last statement.... I couldn't possibly disagree more. Travel early and often. Cheaply if you can. Apply for internships, stipends, study abroad, fellowships, short term jobs, ANYTHING and travel to far flung places in the world FOR FREE or cheaply. This is something you can basically only do in your 20s. Travel, travel, travel! Especially when the pandemic hit, I thanked all the stars that I said "YES" to so many opportunities when I was young. Because you never know what can happen. Pandemics, politics, kids, jobs, money. Adult problems. Use your youth to travel. Get lost on a city's public transit system, stay in a hostel, fumble around in a foreign language. Have adventures, DO IT!!!

Traveling while single (before marriage and babies) is a crutch to avoid reality, waste time, binge drink, eat tourist food, and waste money. Squandering your 20s away being a brainless consumer, seeking likes on instagram. Pointless.

You want to travel, do it in college, study abroad, and if you pursue an MBA, go ahead and take those trips with classmates. But these white collar women age 25 to 35 who think traveling is a personality or a substitute for a husband and kids are lost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying right after college is cool and smart. You should be in that mentality.

Sleeping around aka "dating" around is gross, unhealthy, and leads to mental despair.

Your laptop, PowerPoint, Excel, email job is not actually important.

Stop being an alcoholic.

Traveling is a time and money sink.

Definitely an incel thread now

It speaks to your immaturity you think this is some edgy insult. There's nothing wrong with single young men and women being celibate. That sort of purity, restraint and impulse control in 2023 is commendable.

….do you know what the “in” stands for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying right after college is cool and smart. You should be in that mentality.

Sleeping around aka "dating" around is gross, unhealthy, and leads to mental despair.

Your laptop, PowerPoint, Excel, email job is not actually important.

Stop being an alcoholic.

Traveling is a time and money sink.

Definitely an incel thread now

It speaks to your immaturity you think this is some edgy insult. There's nothing wrong with single young men and women being celibate. That sort of purity, restraint and impulse control in 2023 is commendable.

….do you know what the “in” stands for?

I looked it up. Involuntary. Got it. You can't think for yourself, so you're trying to cyberbully people with trendy made up buzzwords you've been force fed? And the cusp of the bullying revolves around not sleeping around? Sorry but you sound immoral and lost. Sleeping around only leads to disease, baggage, a bad reputation, and mental distress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying right after college is cool and smart. You should be in that mentality.

Sleeping around aka "dating" around is gross, unhealthy, and leads to mental despair.

Your laptop, PowerPoint, Excel, email job is not actually important.

Stop being an alcoholic.

Traveling is a time and money sink.

Your first two statements are harsh with a grain of truth and the third is definitely true.

The last statement.... I couldn't possibly disagree more. Travel early and often. Cheaply if you can. Apply for internships, stipends, study abroad, fellowships, short term jobs, ANYTHING and travel to far flung places in the world FOR FREE or cheaply. This is something you can basically only do in your 20s. Travel, travel, travel! Especially when the pandemic hit, I thanked all the stars that I said "YES" to so many opportunities when I was young. Because you never know what can happen. Pandemics, politics, kids, jobs, money. Adult problems. Use your youth to travel. Get lost on a city's public transit system, stay in a hostel, fumble around in a foreign language. Have adventures, DO IT!!!

Traveling while single (before marriage and babies) is a crutch to avoid reality, waste time, binge drink, eat tourist food, and waste money. Squandering your 20s away being a brainless consumer, seeking likes on instagram. Pointless.

You want to travel, do it in college, study abroad, and if you pursue an MBA, go ahead and take those trips with classmates. But these white collar women age 25 to 35 who think traveling is a personality or a substitute for a husband and kids are lost.

Well, maybe fore you. For many of us, it's a way to learn languages, build an international network, visit the Louvre and the Sistine Chapel, learn how to make sushi in Japan, cycle around Taiwan on innovative electric bamboo bikes, dance samba in Brazil with some of the most talented musicians on the planet, see India's Hyderabad transform itself into a global cyber hub from dust, and learn how to turn on every type of shower handle imaginable. Among other things.

And no, I didn't post any of that on Facebook or Instagram.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying right after college is cool and smart. You should be in that mentality.

Sleeping around aka "dating" around is gross, unhealthy, and leads to mental despair.

Your laptop, PowerPoint, Excel, email job is not actually important.

Stop being an alcoholic.

Traveling is a time and money sink.

Your first two statements are harsh with a grain of truth and the third is definitely true.

The last statement.... I couldn't possibly disagree more. Travel early and often. Cheaply if you can. Apply for internships, stipends, study abroad, fellowships, short term jobs, ANYTHING and travel to far flung places in the world FOR FREE or cheaply. This is something you can basically only do in your 20s. Travel, travel, travel! Especially when the pandemic hit, I thanked all the stars that I said "YES" to so many opportunities when I was young. Because you never know what can happen. Pandemics, politics, kids, jobs, money. Adult problems. Use your youth to travel. Get lost on a city's public transit system, stay in a hostel, fumble around in a foreign language. Have adventures, DO IT!!!

Traveling while single (before marriage and babies) is a crutch to avoid reality, waste time, binge drink, eat tourist food, and waste money. Squandering your 20s away being a brainless consumer, seeking likes on instagram. Pointless.

You want to travel, do it in college, study abroad, and if you pursue an MBA, go ahead and take those trips with classmates. But these white collar women age 25 to 35 who think traveling is a personality or a substitute for a husband and kids are lost.

Well, maybe fore you. For many of us, it's a way to learn languages, build an international network, visit the Louvre and the Sistine Chapel, learn how to make sushi in Japan, cycle around Taiwan on innovative electric bamboo bikes, dance samba in Brazil with some of the most talented musicians on the planet, see India's Hyderabad transform itself into a global cyber hub from dust, and learn how to turn on every type of shower handle imaginable. Among other things.

And no, I didn't post any of that on Facebook or Instagram.

You can do all of that with your then boyfriend, now husband who you married in your mid to late 20s in the years before you have kids, if you want them! Don’t see why people keep saying “I couldn’t settle down, I wanted to ~travel~” as though they’re mutually exclusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying right after college is cool and smart. You should be in that mentality.

Sleeping around aka "dating" around is gross, unhealthy, and leads to mental despair.

Your laptop, PowerPoint, Excel, email job is not actually important.

Stop being an alcoholic.

Traveling is a time and money sink.

Your first two statements are harsh with a grain of truth and the third is definitely true.

The last statement.... I couldn't possibly disagree more. Travel early and often. Cheaply if you can. Apply for internships, stipends, study abroad, fellowships, short term jobs, ANYTHING and travel to far flung places in the world FOR FREE or cheaply. This is something you can basically only do in your 20s. Travel, travel, travel! Especially when the pandemic hit, I thanked all the stars that I said "YES" to so many opportunities when I was young. Because you never know what can happen. Pandemics, politics, kids, jobs, money. Adult problems. Use your youth to travel. Get lost on a city's public transit system, stay in a hostel, fumble around in a foreign language. Have adventures, DO IT!!!

Traveling while single (before marriage and babies) is a crutch to avoid reality, waste time, binge drink, eat tourist food, and waste money. Squandering your 20s away being a brainless consumer, seeking likes on instagram. Pointless.

You want to travel, do it in college, study abroad, and if you pursue an MBA, go ahead and take those trips with classmates. But these white collar women age 25 to 35 who think traveling is a personality or a substitute for a husband and kids are lost.

Well, maybe fore you. For many of us, it's a way to learn languages, build an international network, visit the Louvre and the Sistine Chapel, learn how to make sushi in Japan, cycle around Taiwan on innovative electric bamboo bikes, dance samba in Brazil with some of the most talented musicians on the planet, see India's Hyderabad transform itself into a global cyber hub from dust, and learn how to turn on every type of shower handle imaginable. Among other things.

And no, I didn't post any of that on Facebook or Instagram.

Unless you’re in the state department, you’re spinning yarn. A “network” of random hookups and passport stamps you think are social currency. When everyone your age is talking about their tween kids and you’re talking about trips, you look ridiculous. Sorry, just being frank.