Why does MIL make fun of everything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Using paper towels instead of napkins when you have guests over is tacky.

Mothers aren’t guests, they are family.

If you aren't living there full time then they are in a different category. Maybe go big and give someone a paper napkin over a paper towel, even if they are family.

That’s fine for you, but my mom would not want to be treated with formality or as a guest. Neither would I in her home. We don’t use cloth napkins for the every day, so so we wouldn’t do something different just because mom is here. We may have a more formal meal, like thanksgiving, but not for an every day visit.

I don't really consider a paper napkin a formality. It's pretty easy to buy a big pack at Costco and dole them out once in awhile, especially if it's not just the household inhabitants at dinner. I don't mind handing my kids a paper towel but seems pretty weak to hand one to an adult over for dinner.

That's great if you have a place to keep them. I know everyone in DCUM-land has a ton of storage, but a lot of people don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ILs make exactly these types of comments too, all the time! I am used to it as I've known them almost 20 years. They aren't bad people at all and actually have great qualities. No real solutions, but I dont want to stoop to the level or become this way.

It seemed to me like a type of ribbing from having grown up in a large Irish Catholic family with many boys. My own family is not like this.

I also think there's some lack of filter and insecurity and just boredom or drama seeking. Some of it is banal, some of it is actually unkind.

Examples:
--We took bus to NYC, which is a great, easy, and inexpensive way to get to NYC in my view. Ruthlessly teased for this. Wheels on the bus song, implication that this was what poor people did.

--I went running on a day over 100 degrees while on an extended family vacation. We crossed paths while they were in the car. Teased extensively for being so slow and 'practically walking.' No one else exercised during trip and each person can make their own decision.

--Gave our wifi password and got ribbing for that. It's two random words and a number, not even funny or profane or anything. But I did have to explain why we don't use our dogs name and house number.

-- When asked their takeout preference while at our home, they preferred sushi, and it was a large group. I got a number of trays of good-quality fresh sushi from supermarket. They asked is this from a sushi restaurant or a supermarket and I was on the spot. (Frequently similar, why paper plates and cutlery for large thanksgiving dinner -- or why other decisions we make for cost reasons or pragmatism, which should be obvious - store brands is another example.)

My in-laws are also Irish Catholic and this is very familiar to me. Anything that doesn't compute to them must relentlessly be made fun of/questioned, etc. They think I am into marijuana because I commented on a post on FB once from a friend that had one of those indoor herb/greens gardens that I thought it was cool. During COVID I had a mask that has some sort of non-marijuana looking leaf/vine pattern (that my mom sent me) and my SIL asked three times if they were marijuana leaves. It would actually be way more interesting if I WAS into marijuana, TBH.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What’s so weird about wiping the food from a dinner plate into the trash using a paper towel? It’s not perhaps the most common practice but why is objectionable?

I'll set aside that OP isn't composting and is just tossing everything in the trash, but why not just use silverware to scrape off the plates?

Why not just use the paper towels?

It can be unsanitary. There is plenty of food that's going to seep through the paper towel and get on your fingers. Would you wipe the plate with your fingers?

Do you not have a dishwasher?

DP. It's not good to leave all that gunk in your dishwasher. It gets stuck in the trap, in the pipes, and becomes a "fat berg" in the sewers and becomes all of our problem. Much better in the trash. Are you my husband?

Sigh. I’ll type slowly for you. You use the paper towel to get the “gunk” off your dishes, then throw the paper towel in the trash. Then you put the dish that your fingers may have touched through the paper towel (*gasp* *horror*) in the dishwasher, which removes your Evil Finger Germs from said plates when it runs its cycle, and you wash your damn hands with soap and water,

All caught up now?

DP but normal people just use utensils for this job.

You really can’t fathom that not everyone needs to do things your exact way?

Utensils make a scraaaaaape sound on the plate that make my skin crawl. (NP here)

But also a lot less environmental impact than paper towels so they have that going for them as well.

[Anonymous]

My MIL says over and over how she is so happy she didn’t have girls and says girls are “hysterical,” because her two neighbor kids were hysterical when a tornado went down their street. I guess we are all to be calm when a tornado passes us 100 feet away and blows the windows out or whatever. She says this in front of her granddaughter.

She also went off about long and decorative fingernails. “Why would anyone have them? They must do no work!”

About a lesser developed nation—she brought over a book of photos of the place and said, “they were so nice to us!” (Yes because you have $$.) She went on and on about the people there. Cracks me up bc my neighbor is from there and can’t stand the people there, because the country loves Trump. MIL doesn’t know thing one about the people in that country. Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do folks really have cloth napkins for everyday dinners? That’s just odd to me.

We do. We use cloth for every day (to be green) and then sometimes use paper for guests.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Do folks really have cloth napkins for everyday dinners? That’s just odd to me.

We do. Everyone has a napkin ring and we switch the cloth napkins out every few days.

I hate paper napkins.

What do you mean you switch them out every few days?

You can use cloth more than once. This is why napkin rings were invented to identify whose napkin is whose.

NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do folks really have cloth napkins for everyday dinners? That’s just odd to me.

We do. Everyone has a napkin ring and we switch the cloth napkins out every few days.

I hate paper napkins.

What do you mean you switch them out every few days?

You can use cloth more than once. This is why napkin rings were invented to identify whose napkin is whose.

NP

How does that help? Many napkin rings are sold as sets. https://www.williams-sonoma.com/shop/tabletop-glassware-bar/entertaining-napkin-rings/

[Anonymous]

Having an opinion on napkins is super cheesy and provincial op. Mil just sounds like she is ‘middle class fancy’ (does she also do a lot of holiday themed stuff and have ‘live laugh love’ written somewhere in house? She’s judgy bc she prob feels ‘less than’ you guys so has to make herself feel better. I grew up in the uk among many old Etonian/ semi Aristos and none of them would give af about napkins unless it was a formal dinner perhaps containing diplomat/ a wedding. She needs to sit down

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What’s so weird about wiping the food from a dinner plate into the trash using a paper towel? It’s not perhaps the most common practice but why is objectionable?

I'll set aside that OP isn't composting and is just tossing everything in the trash, but why not just use silverware to scrape off the plates?

Why not just use the paper towels?

It can be unsanitary. There is plenty of food that's going to seep through the paper towel and get on your fingers. Would you wipe the plate with your fingers?

Do you not have a dishwasher?

DP. It's not good to leave all that gunk in your dishwasher. It gets stuck in the trap, in the pipes, and becomes a "fat berg" in the sewers and becomes all of our problem. Much better in the trash. Are you my husband?

Sigh. I’ll type slowly for you. You use the paper towel to get the “gunk” off your dishes, then throw the paper towel in the trash. Then you put the dish that your fingers may have touched through the paper towel (*gasp* *horror*) in the dishwasher, which removes your Evil Finger Germs from said plates when it runs its cycle, and you wash your damn hands with soap and water,

All caught up now?

DP but normal people just use utensils for this job.

You really can’t fathom that not everyone needs to do things your exact way?

Where did I say I can't fathom it? Normal people don't do it that way, the abnormal do. Why get your hands involved if you don't have to? I would say it's also weird to have the dog lick all the plates and then just stick them in the dishwasher. Feel free to disagree, but it doesn't change my opinion. Sometimes there are better ways to go about things.

Wrong again, but doubling down on your wrongness apparently.

[Anonymous]

Op - your mil is straight up insulting you not joking. She is also not as classy as she thinks for a million reasons

[Anonymous]

We only use paper towels. The only people we have in our home generally are MIL or FIL and as they are frequent visitors, I don't buy napkins as I don't view them as "outside guests" per se.

Even on the rare occasion we do have an "outside guest" we don't usually buy napkins and I crack a joke and say "we're not classy, we just have paper towels." I have a house full of toys and two kids that dump them out as fast as I throw them in baskets. We are not at a classy stage in life.

I am pretty sure MIL is peeved about the no napkin thing, she will bring us napkins for special holidays (but even then, I buy them for a holiday, so we end up with two sets of napkins). Or I use cloth on holidays.

Using cloth all the time? changing them out every day? I am drowning under a mountain of laundry with two kids, so there's no way I would choose more. I do bring a single cloth napkin to work and use it over a couple of days for lunch, then wash, or sooner if it's dirty.

Judge away (but it's ok cause if you're that judgy over napkins, we wouldn't like each other anyways!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s so weird about wiping the food from a dinner plate into the trash using a paper towel? It’s not perhaps the most common practice but why is objectionable?

I'll set aside that OP isn't composting and is just tossing everything in the trash, but why not just use silverware to scrape off the plates?

Why not just use the paper towels?

It can be unsanitary. There is plenty of food that's going to seep through the paper towel and get on your fingers. Would you wipe the plate with your fingers?

Do you not have a dishwasher?

DP. It's not good to leave all that gunk in your dishwasher. It gets stuck in the trap, in the pipes, and becomes a "fat berg" in the sewers and becomes all of our problem. Much better in the trash. Are you my husband?

Sigh. I’ll type slowly for you. You use the paper towel to get the “gunk” off your dishes, then throw the paper towel in the trash. Then you put the dish that your fingers may have touched through the paper towel (*gasp* *horror*) in the dishwasher, which removes your Evil Finger Germs from said plates when it runs its cycle, and you wash your damn hands with soap and water,

All caught up now?

DP but normal people just use utensils for this job.

You really can’t fathom that not everyone needs to do things your exact way?

Where did I say I can't fathom it? Normal people don't do it that way, the abnormal do. Why get your hands involved if you don't have to? I would say it's also weird to have the dog lick all the plates and then just stick them in the dishwasher. Feel free to disagree, but it doesn't change my opinion. Sometimes there are better ways to go about things.

I love threads like this where I can get a safe snapshot of people like you, with their bizarre pathologies.

[Anonymous]

In our house, we do not use paper napkins or cloth napkins regularly while eating any meal. We wash our hands before and after our meals. And we use silverware. No problems.

- happy immigrant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In our house, we do not use paper napkins or cloth napkins regularly while eating any meal. We wash our hands before and after our meals. And we use silverware. No problems.

- happy immigrant.

We also have a Toto toilet and it washes our bums. No toilet paper emergency in our house. The only paper we use is bounty kitchen towel roll in the kitchen and for bathrooms, and tons of kleenex to blow our noses. We have not found a greener alternative to these.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do folks really have cloth napkins for everyday dinners? That’s just odd to me.

We do. Everyone has a napkin ring and we switch the cloth napkins out every few days.

I hate paper napkins.

What do you mean you switch them out every few days?

You can use cloth more than once. This is why napkin rings were invented to identify whose napkin is whose.

NP

How does that help? Many napkin rings are sold as sets. https://www.williams-sonoma.com/shop/tabletop-glassware-bar/entertaining-napkin-rings/

And many are not: https://www.amazon.com/Blue-Sky-Collection-Mahogany-Animal/dp/B006T0IZIY/ref=sr_1_1_sspa

We use our (individually-assigned per napkin ring designations) napkins for a few days and then change them out. If we have spare ribs or spaghetti and meatballs, we change them out after one meal.

Do you wash your sheets and towels every time you use them? No, I didn't think so.