Why does MIL make fun of everything?

[Anonymous]

My ILs make exactly these types of comments too, all the time! I am used to it as I've known them almost 20 years. They aren't bad people at all and actually have great qualities. No real solutions, but I dont want to stoop to the level or become this way.

It seemed to me like a type of ribbing from having grown up in a large Irish Catholic family with many boys. My own family is not like this.

I also think there's some lack of filter and insecurity and just boredom or drama seeking. Some of it is banal, some of it is actually unkind.

Examples:
--We took bus to NYC, which is a great, easy, and inexpensive way to get to NYC in my view. Ruthlessly teased for this. Wheels on the bus song, implication that this was what poor people did.

--I went running on a day over 100 degrees while on an extended family vacation. We crossed paths while they were in the car. Teased extensively for being so slow and 'practically walking.' No one else exercised during trip and each person can make their own decision.

--Gave our wifi password and got ribbing for that. It's two random words and a number, not even funny or profane or anything. But I did have to explain why we don't use our dogs name and house number.

-- When asked their takeout preference while at our home, they preferred sushi, and it was a large group. I got a number of trays of good-quality fresh sushi from supermarket. They asked is this from a sushi restaurant or a supermarket and I was on the spot. (Frequently similar, why paper plates and cutlery for large thanksgiving dinner -- or why other decisions we make for cost reasons or pragmatism, which should be obvious - store brands is another example.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your paper towel thing IS weird. Why can't you use the silverware to scrape plates and thus have less waste? It's a bit trashy to not use napkins.

It’s trashy not to use cloth napkins, PP. I hope you’re not being trashy, even on Pizza Friday.

Right here is why women are never going to rule the world. Too many of us spend brain cells on absolutely the most stupid sh*t and then give someone else a hard time about it.

I’m pretty sure it’s more due to the Taliban shooting women trying to go to school, Putin waging war, and MAGA voters stripping away women’s rights, but sure. Blame someone commenting on paper towels.

That’s because we are too busy discussing napkins to organize and fight back. Even in the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ILs make exactly these types of comments too, all the time! I am used to it as I've known them almost 20 years. They aren't bad people at all and actually have great qualities. No real solutions, but I dont want to stoop to the level or become this way.

It seemed to me like a type of ribbing from having grown up in a large Irish Catholic family with many boys. My own family is not like this.

I also think there's some lack of filter and insecurity and just boredom or drama seeking. Some of it is banal, some of it is actually unkind.

Examples:
--We took bus to NYC, which is a great, easy, and inexpensive way to get to NYC in my view. Ruthlessly teased for this. Wheels on the bus song, implication that this was what poor people did.

--I went running on a day over 100 degrees while on an extended family vacation. We crossed paths while they were in the car. Teased extensively for being so slow and 'practically walking.' No one else exercised during trip and each person can make their own decision.

--Gave our wifi password and got ribbing for that. It's two random words and a number, not even funny or profane or anything. But I did have to explain why we don't use our dogs name and house number.

-- When asked their takeout preference while at our home, they preferred sushi, and it was a large group. I got a number of trays of good-quality fresh sushi from supermarket. They asked is this from a sushi restaurant or a supermarket and I was on the spot. (Frequently similar, why paper plates and cutlery for large thanksgiving dinner -- or why other decisions we make for cost reasons or pragmatism, which should be obvious - store brands is another example.)

The running thing is kind of mean. That one would bother me much longer than the others.

[Anonymous]

I am from NY.

Are they?


My extended family will find very small things to tease about.

I can see why this is annoying and I would not do it at someone else's house.
My best friend had a boy friend with a sty in his eye. She would not introduce him to her family because she knew for the rest of his life he'd be "the guy with the sty in his eye" as the teasing can be ruthless.

A way to get back her is to say, "We do that so you will have something interesting to talk about. It would be so boring without your commentary,".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am from NY.

Are they?


My extended family will find very small things to tease about.

I can see why this is annoying and I would not do it at someone else's house.
My best friend had a boy friend with a sty in his eye. She would not introduce him to her family because she knew for the rest of his life he'd be "the guy with the sty in his eye" as the teasing can be ruthless.

A way to get back her is to say, "We do that so you will have something interesting to talk about. It would be so boring without your commentary,"

This is the best response. Every time she does something like this. “Yes Doris, that is a new fake plant. That’s right it’s fake. I bought it just so you would have a new item to repeatedly comment on during your stay this week.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ILs make exactly these types of comments too, all the time! I am used to it as I've known them almost 20 years. They aren't bad people at all and actually have great qualities. No real solutions, but I dont want to stoop to the level or become this way.

It seemed to me like a type of ribbing from having grown up in a large Irish Catholic family with many boys. My own family is not like this.

I also think there's some lack of filter and insecurity and just boredom or drama seeking. Some of it is banal, some of it is actually unkind.

Examples:
--We took bus to NYC, which is a great, easy, and inexpensive way to get to NYC in my view. Ruthlessly teased for this. Wheels on the bus song, implication that this was what poor people did.

--I went running on a day over 100 degrees while on an extended family vacation. We crossed paths while they were in the car. Teased extensively for being so slow and 'practically walking.' No one else exercised during trip and each person can make their own decision.

--Gave our wifi password and got ribbing for that. It's two random words and a number, not even funny or profane or anything. But I did have to explain why we don't use our dogs name and house number.

-- When asked their takeout preference while at our home, they preferred sushi, and it was a large group. I got a number of trays of good-quality fresh sushi from supermarket. They asked is this from a sushi restaurant or a supermarket and I was on the spot. (Frequently similar, why paper plates and cutlery for large thanksgiving dinner -- or why other decisions we make for cost reasons or pragmatism, which should be obvious - store brands is another example.)

Supermarket sushi is disgusting and most people would probably prefer pizza than supermarket sushi. Also, is it so hard to use real plates for a holiday? Tacky and cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s so weird about wiping the food from a dinner plate into the trash using a paper towel? It’s not perhaps the most common practice but why is objectionable?

I'll set aside that OP isn't composting and is just tossing everything in the trash, but why not just use silverware to scrape off the plates?

Why not just use the paper towels?

It can be unsanitary. There is plenty of food that's going to seep through the paper towel and get on your fingers. Would you wipe the plate with your fingers?

Do you not have a dishwasher?

DP. It's not good to leave all that gunk in your dishwasher. It gets stuck in the trap, in the pipes, and becomes a "fat berg" in the sewers and becomes all of our problem. Much better in the trash. Are you my husband?

Sigh. I’ll type slowly for you. You use the paper towel to get the “gunk” off your dishes, then throw the paper towel in the trash. Then you put the dish that your fingers may have touched through the paper towel (*gasp* *horror*) in the dishwasher, which removes your Evil Finger Germs from said plates when it runs its cycle, and you wash your damn hands with soap and water,

All caught up now?

DP but normal people just use utensils for this job.

You really can’t fathom that not everyone needs to do things your exact way?

Utensils make a scraaaaaape sound on the plate that make my skin crawl. (NP here)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs make exactly these types of comments too, all the time! I am used to it as I've known them almost 20 years. They aren't bad people at all and actually have great qualities. No real solutions, but I dont want to stoop to the level or become this way.

It seemed to me like a type of ribbing from having grown up in a large Irish Catholic family with many boys. My own family is not like this.

I also think there's some lack of filter and insecurity and just boredom or drama seeking. Some of it is banal, some of it is actually unkind.

Examples:
--We took bus to NYC, which is a great, easy, and inexpensive way to get to NYC in my view. Ruthlessly teased for this. Wheels on the bus song, implication that this was what poor people did.

--I went running on a day over 100 degrees while on an extended family vacation. We crossed paths while they were in the car. Teased extensively for being so slow and 'practically walking.' No one else exercised during trip and each person can make their own decision.

--Gave our wifi password and got ribbing for that. It's two random words and a number, not even funny or profane or anything. But I did have to explain why we don't use our dogs name and house number.

-- When asked their takeout preference while at our home, they preferred sushi, and it was a large group. I got a number of trays of good-quality fresh sushi from supermarket. They asked is this from a sushi restaurant or a supermarket and I was on the spot. (Frequently similar, why paper plates and cutlery for large thanksgiving dinner -- or why other decisions we make for cost reasons or pragmatism, which should be obvious - store brands is another example.)

Supermarket sushi is disgusting and most people would probably prefer pizza than supermarket sushi. Also, is it so hard to use real plates for a holiday? Tacky and cheap.

Is it tackier than questioning how much money your host is willing to spend on their houseguests? It is beyond rude to ask about the supermarket vs restaurant sushi or to imply that paper plates are not good enough. Way way rude. In the list the PP posted above, the only thing that isn't egregious bad manners is the rubbing about the wifi password. That one might be annoying and a question of taste, but I wouldn't consider it bad manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do folks really have cloth napkins for everyday dinners? That’s just odd to me.

We do. Everyone has a napkin ring and we switch the cloth napkins out every few days.

I hate paper napkins.

Ewww. I think it's gross that you reuse cloth napkins. I try to be environmentally friendly but I will not go there.

Each individual reusing their own dinner napkin for a couple of days for normal (not BBQ ribs) meals is “gross”?

Not to me it isn’t.

It is truly news to me that people reuse cloth napkins since I've only ever used them at restaurants or one-off fancy dinners where they all just get washed and put away after. The thought of reusing a cloth napkin the next day really grosses me out and I am the least germaphobic and messiest person I know. I'm frankly surprised to be the one grossed out about something other people think is normal for once. Good for you for being eco-friendly though, for real.

NP. I guess I don’t really understand where the gross comes in. Most of the time my cloth napkin lies quietly in my lap, unused except perhaps at the end of the meal, when I wipe the corners of my mouth. It isn’t covered in food stains or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs make exactly these types of comments too, all the time! I am used to it as I've known them almost 20 years. They aren't bad people at all and actually have great qualities. No real solutions, but I dont want to stoop to the level or become this way.

It seemed to me like a type of ribbing from having grown up in a large Irish Catholic family with many boys. My own family is not like this.

I also think there's some lack of filter and insecurity and just boredom or drama seeking. Some of it is banal, some of it is actually unkind.

Examples:
--We took bus to NYC, which is a great, easy, and inexpensive way to get to NYC in my view. Ruthlessly teased for this. Wheels on the bus song, implication that this was what poor people did.

--I went running on a day over 100 degrees while on an extended family vacation. We crossed paths while they were in the car. Teased extensively for being so slow and 'practically walking.' No one else exercised during trip and each person can make their own decision.

--Gave our wifi password and got ribbing for that. It's two random words and a number, not even funny or profane or anything. But I did have to explain why we don't use our dogs name and house number.

-- When asked their takeout preference while at our home, they preferred sushi, and it was a large group. I got a number of trays of good-quality fresh sushi from supermarket. They asked is this from a sushi restaurant or a supermarket and I was on the spot. (Frequently similar, why paper plates and cutlery for large thanksgiving dinner -- or why other decisions we make for cost reasons or pragmatism, which should be obvious - store brands is another example.)

The running thing is kind of mean. That one would bother me much longer than the others.

Yep. I don’t think I’d let that one slide. I’d invite whoever said that to a race, and not let it go. Every day I’d ask is this is the day they’re going to show me how fast they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do folks really have cloth napkins for everyday dinners? That’s just odd to me.

We do. Everyone has a napkin ring and we switch the cloth napkins out every few days.

I hate paper napkins.

You don't wash them every time??

That’s absolutely disgusting. Surely PP doesn’t mean that.

My brother and SIL, who are not dirty people in the least, do this. But I admit it bothers me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you just get the super inexpensive paper napkins? I think it is weird to use paper towels as napkins, then even weirder to use them to scrape the plates. Of course, I wouldn't tease about it, and wouldn't mention it, just think you're a little gross.

As to the Lego example, do you have a separate LR? It's possible that she hasn't adjusted to her own grown son still playing with Legos.

My guess is MIL is uncomfortable and passive aggressive.

Is this the MIL?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just stop whatever you’re doing and ask her point blank: Why do you have to make that comment every time? Are you okay? Then just stand there silently. If she says she’s just joking, respond with, “It’s rude.” Then go about your business.

+1. She's being a huge B**** here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s so weird about wiping the food from a dinner plate into the trash using a paper towel? It’s not perhaps the most common practice but why is objectionable?

I'll set aside that OP isn't composting and is just tossing everything in the trash, but why not just use silverware to scrape off the plates?

Why not just use the paper towels?

It can be unsanitary. There is plenty of food that's going to seep through the paper towel and get on your fingers. Would you wipe the plate with your fingers?

You sound insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, I take it most of you people don't have garbage disposals?

Garbage disposals are useless and if you read about them, there is very little you should be putting down them.

Beat me to posting this.

And most of the rest of the world don't have them/use them.