To the woman in Michaels at seven corners who told their daughter to grab your purse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recall the time I was at a Whole Foods and a very petite AA lady asked me to get her something on an upper shelf. She asked like it was a normal request for her, given her petite stature. I didn't mind one bit - happy to help.

Then there was the incident this past summer where I had to get the last remaining bottle all the way at the back of a top grocery store shelf. I was sadly wondering how to get it, when who should enter my aisle but a very, very tall AA man - maybe a former Redskins player. I gratefully asked him if he could get it for me, he smiled, grabbed it, and handed it over.

People helping people. Isn't that what life should be about?

There have been people of all races and genders and ages who have politely asked me if I : can reach something, know where something might be, or can give them directions. I am happy to help, and these people usually seem appreciative and thank me. Then there are those people who blurt out things like :” Where’s the coffee. I Need coffee.” Or “Here. I need another size”. One time, when I was walking down the street, with a rolling tote and a bag of groceries, a woman charged up to me saying, impatiently: “I’ve been Waiting for you. You need to let me in.” And pointed to the building that I had just passed on my way home.

People helping people is great. People randomly assuming that I exist to serve them is not what my life is about.
If someone can’t approach me politely, acknowledge that they’re asking a favor from a stranger, and notice that my winter coat strongly suggests that I’m not working in the store where we both happen to be — then they’re not treating me like “people”. And yeah, the demographics of the people who have treated me this way have been startlingly consistent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recall the time I was at a Whole Foods and a very petite AA lady asked me to get her something on an upper shelf. She asked like it was a normal request for her, given her petite stature. I didn't mind one bit - happy to help.

Then there was the incident this past summer where I had to get the last remaining bottle all the way at the back of a top grocery store shelf. I was sadly wondering how to get it, when who should enter my aisle but a very, very tall AA man - maybe a former Redskins player. I gratefully asked him if he could get it for me, he smiled, grabbed it, and handed it over.

People helping people. Isn't that what life should be about?

There have been people of all races and genders and ages who have politely asked me if I : can reach something, know where something might be, or can give them directions. I am happy to help, and these people usually seem appreciative and thank me. Then there are those people who blurt out things like :” Where’s the coffee. I Need coffee.” Or “Here. I need another size”. One time, when I was walking down the street, with a rolling tote and a bag of groceries, a woman charged up to me saying, impatiently: “I’ve been Waiting for you. You need to let me in.” And pointed to the building that I had just passed on my way home.

People helping people is great. People randomly assuming that I exist to serve them is not what my life is about.
If someone can’t approach me politely, acknowledge that they’re asking a favor from a stranger, and notice that my winter coat strongly suggests that I’m not working in the store where we both happen to be — then they’re not treating me like “people”. And yeah, the demographics of the people who have treated me this way have been startlingly consistent.

I’m so sorry this has happened to you too. Totally feel you. Who did the lady on the street think you were?

[Anonymous]

I'm AA and I definitely would not have let this ruin my day or even allowed myself to feel bothered by it. Stupid people are stupid and racism is definitely stupid. The woman sounds like and idiot and one of these days is going to get her purse snatched. Most likely by a fellow white person.

[Anonymous]

I hope you can take some small consolation in knowing she lives her life scared about all of the wrong things. I would have been tempted to drop something expensive and weird in her cart.

[Anonymous]

I have realized many times that purse was in my cart unguarded, and I’ve asked my son to grab it for me. I would have asked him to do this regardless of who was around. There is a good chance you had nothing to do with her realizing her purse was away from her in her cart

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have realized many times that purse was in my cart unguarded, and I’ve asked my son to grab it for me. I would have asked him to do this regardless of who was around. There is a good chance you had nothing to do with her realizing her purse was away from her in her cart

But the lady said it in the middle of an interaction with OP. OP was like, Hey can you move your cart? and the lady looked her in the eyes and then, instead of responding or moving her cart, asked the daughter to grab her purse. It sounds like OP’s presence was the catalyst for this action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Np here . I’m also AA. I probably perpetuate it but I’m so used to it that if you ask me for help while we are in the store I loudly tell you “stop being racist. I don’t work here” (how much is this, where is this in the store questions)
I also snatch my purse when I see older white people coming toward me. And I lock and unlock my car doors when I see groups of whites coming toward my car. Nobody ever notices but I giggle.
Yes. I am not on the good list this year.

I like you!

[Anonymous]

I'm 5'2" and I sometimes ask the tallest person nearby if they can please reach an item I can't reach on the top shelf (so I don't have to climb on the 1st shelf as a pseudo stepping stool, or grab a utensil from the utensil aisle to knock it down). If anyone ever took offense, I'm sorry. You were just the tallest person nearby and I knew you weren't an employee. Just not short like me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have realized many times that purse was in my cart unguarded, and I’ve asked my son to grab it for me. I would have asked him to do this regardless of who was around. There is a good chance you had nothing to do with her realizing her purse was away from her in her cart

But the lady said it in the middle of an interaction with OP. OP was like, Hey can you move your cart? and the lady looked her in the eyes and then, instead of responding or moving her cart, asked the daughter to grab her purse. It sounds like OP’s presence was the catalyst for this action.

Or OP’s pointing out the lady’s cart made her realize her purse was out there unattended. It’s very common to worry about your purse in a cart at a store. I could see myself doing that exact thing regardless of what races were around me. It could easily have been solely about the purse, not OP’s race. OP could be looking for racism.

[Anonymous]

You know what, this is a clear case of implicit racism, not a one off. I’m so sorry OP and I’m sorry that some on DCUM cannot see that. I hope you have a happy thanksgiving.

[Anonymous]

Therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have realized many times that purse was in my cart unguarded, and I’ve asked my son to grab it for me. I would have asked him to do this regardless of who was around. There is a good chance you had nothing to do with her realizing her purse was away from her in her cart

But the lady said it in the middle of an interaction with OP. OP was like, Hey can you move your cart? and the lady looked her in the eyes and then, instead of responding or moving her cart, asked the daughter to grab her purse. It sounds like OP’s presence was the catalyst for this action.

Or OP’s pointing out the lady’s cart made her realize her purse was out there unattended. It’s very common to worry about your purse in a cart at a store. I could see myself doing that exact thing regardless of what races were around me. It could easily have been solely about the purse, not OP’s race. OP could be looking for racism.

I think it was OP's attitude, but of course she is programmed to see race everywhere. Our far left media, and probably who she interacts with.
She probably put the lady on alert from the way she asked her to move her cart. Then yes she may have realized her purse was in the cart, either way NOT a big deal.
Or this is a troll I'm thinking...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have realized many times that purse was in my cart unguarded, and I’ve asked my son to grab it for me. I would have asked him to do this regardless of who was around. There is a good chance you had nothing to do with her realizing her purse was away from her in her cart

But the lady said it in the middle of an interaction with OP. OP was like, Hey can you move your cart? and the lady looked her in the eyes and then, instead of responding or moving her cart, asked the daughter to grab her purse. It sounds like OP’s presence was the catalyst for this action.

Or OP’s pointing out the lady’s cart made her realize her purse was out there unattended. It’s very common to worry about your purse in a cart at a store. I could see myself doing that exact thing regardless of what races were around me. It could easily have been solely about the purse, not OP’s race. OP could be looking for racism.

I think it was OP's attitude, but of course she is programmed to see race everywhere. Our far left media, and probably who she interacts with.
She probably put the lady on alert from the way she asked her to move her cart. Then yes she may have realized her purse was in the cart, either way NOT a big deal.
Or this is a troll I'm thinking...

Lol, sure. Racism isn’t real, black people have just been brainwashed by the “far left media”!

[Anonymous]

I've had racial things like that happen to me. Once I was buying an item (maybe about $250) in a store and the employee said in a condescending tone, "I just want to make sure you know this is kind of expensive". I said "yep, I saw the tag" when I really wanted to say "B__ I have 4 million in the bank you racist POS".

So yeah, a lot of the POC experience is being casually insulted and then not being able to "clap back" for fear of being seen as "aggressive".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have realized many times that purse was in my cart unguarded, and I’ve asked my son to grab it for me. I would have asked him to do this regardless of who was around. There is a good chance you had nothing to do with her realizing her purse was away from her in her cart

But the lady said it in the middle of an interaction with OP. OP was like, Hey can you move your cart? and the lady looked her in the eyes and then, instead of responding or moving her cart, asked the daughter to grab her purse. It sounds like OP’s presence was the catalyst for this action.

Or OP’s pointing out the lady’s cart made her realize her purse was out there unattended. It’s very common to worry about your purse in a cart at a store. I could see myself doing that exact thing regardless of what races were around me. It could easily have been solely about the purse, not OP’s race. OP could be looking for racism.

I think it was OP's attitude, but of course she is programmed to see race everywhere. Our far left media, and probably who she interacts with.
She probably put the lady on alert from the way she asked her to move her cart. Then yes she may have realized her purse was in the cart, either way NOT a big deal.
Or this is a troll I'm thinking...

Lol, sure. Racism isn’t real, black people have just been brainwashed by the “far left media”!

No one here is saying racism isn’t real. Just that OPs incident may have simply been a lady worried about her unattended purse. It’s not realist to worry about your purse in a cart at a store. Most people are concerned about their purse in a cart at a store. I’ve had people approach me to alert me if they see my purse too far away from me in my cart. OPs lady probably was not thinking that OP was going to steal her purse right in front of her. She just noticed her purse was unattended when OP asked her to move her cart. The lady would have done the same no matter OPs race.