Teen's Friend's Parents Rejected her for LlGBTQ+

[Anonymous]

Rejected or kicked out?
Those are two different things.

[Anonymous]

Things to think about… what happens when u want to go on vacation? Or to visit relatives for the weekend? Or just go out for family dinner for someone’s birthday? When your kid is learning to drive? Etc etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are not “nice” if they reject their own child over sexuality.

Let’s get that one thing straight, right now.

There’s no such thing as a “nice” homophobe, or racist, or sexist, or xenophobe, etc. Stop with the “nice,” stop with the excuses.

JFC, you brainless social justice warrior, can't you see the OP isn't a native speaker?? Stop with slogans already.

Not to mention that there is a gap between being a homophobe and not being thrilled with your kid declaring themselves LGBTQ+. Also, not every racist is sexist, and so forth. Not that I condone any of it, but don't be such an all or nothing idiot. There are shades of gray in everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to find out what "rejected" means in this case, preferably from the parents themselves.

I'm not trying to be flip or to minimize the pain of parents' nonacceptance. However, as a LGBTQ adult raising a LGBTQ kid (and a cishet kid), I can tell you that this generation is...excitable. Anything short of a personal pride parade is received as lack of acceptance.

So...figure out what "rejected" means here. Is it kind of reluctant acceptance? Confusion but general desire to understand? Or is it being thrown out of the house or threatened with violence?

Thank you. I have found some of this...a bit alarming. Statistics just don't support the sheer number of kids (mostly girls) that seem to be LGBTQ+ at my kids' school now. I'm a little puzzled by it. (I know this is off topic, sorry).

OP--I think you need to find out what "rejected" means, exactly. Like the PPs have said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to find out what "rejected" means in this case, preferably from the parents themselves.

I'm not trying to be flip or to minimize the pain of parents' nonacceptance. However, as a LGBTQ adult raising a LGBTQ kid (and a cishet kid), I can tell you that this generation is...excitable. Anything short of a personal pride parade is received as lack of acceptance.

So...figure out what "rejected" means here. Is it kind of reluctant acceptance? Confusion but general desire to understand? Or is it being thrown out of the house or threatened with violence?

Thank you. I have found some of this...a bit alarming. Statistics just don't support the sheer number of kids (mostly girls) that seem to be LGBTQ+ at my kids' school now. I'm a little puzzled by it. (I know this is off topic, sorry).

OP--I think you need to find out what "rejected" means, exactly. Like the PPs have said.

PP here. This is a hard topic, because there are transphobes whipping up fear of "sudden onset gender dysphoria" (not a real thing) and therefore it is very difficult to have a reasonable discussion on DCUM about the statistically improbably number of pre-teen and teen kids, mostly assigned female at birth, who currently identify as trans, genderqueer, nonbinary, or some other variation on gender non-conforming.

Then you add the kids who identify as cisgender but identify as som varient of queer (gay, bi, pan, poly, ace, demi, etc).

Even super accepting parents, and even LGBQ parents, can end up a little confuddled. It doesn't help that teens, developmentally, believe their generation personally invented every single human experience, and that no one born before them could possibly understand their struggle/identity.

News at 11: Teens are annoying and self-centered and not overly keen on learning from or acknowledging the experiences of their elders. Shocker!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to find out what "rejected" means in this case, preferably from the parents themselves.

I'm not trying to be flip or to minimize the pain of parents' nonacceptance. However, as a LGBTQ adult raising a LGBTQ kid (and a cishet kid), I can tell you that this generation is...excitable. Anything short of a personal pride parade is received as lack of acceptance.

So...figure out what "rejected" means here. Is it kind of reluctant acceptance? Confusion but general desire to understand? Or is it being thrown out of the house or threatened with violence?

Thank you. I have found some of this...a bit alarming. Statistics just don't support the sheer number of kids (mostly girls) that seem to be LGBTQ+ at my kids' school now. I'm a little puzzled by it. (I know this is off topic, sorry).

OP--I think you need to find out what "rejected" means, exactly. Like the PPs have said.

. JK Rowling has been hauled over coals for talking about this - the sudden huge number of girls identifying as trans to boys seems unlikely to be biological dysmorphia from scientific evidence to date. She argues (I think but may have misread her) that girls see all the misogynistic messaging/ #metoo movement awareness of how wide spread sexual assaults against women and girls are, in addition to social media normalization of gender fluidity/ morphing, and want out of their gender. JK Rowling is questioning the wisdom of allowing irreversible gender surgery while youth are still growing and reports stats that many later regret their decision. Obviously, it will be the right decision for many but it is unlikely that so many trans youth are purely biological in origin, and this means they may change their mind after hormones and weird school social dynamics settle down.

There is ostracism of more traditional girly girls at our private and the slightest questioning of the wide spread trans explosion is met with decisions of trans and homo phobia.

In this instance, I can imagine Korean Christian families (which often seem like Asian versions of Leave it to Beaver US families from 50 years ago, may not be ready to culturally to accept this rather recent social tsunami of gender transitioning.

I think it is great you offered a safe haven - as long g as you are sure she is not safe at home. Maybe they just need time to adjust to her changing needs/ identity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to find out what "rejected" means in this case, preferably from the parents themselves.

I'm not trying to be flip or to minimize the pain of parents' nonacceptance. However, as a LGBTQ adult raising a LGBTQ kid (and a cishet kid), I can tell you that this generation is...excitable. Anything short of a personal pride parade is received as lack of acceptance.

So...figure out what "rejected" means here. Is it kind of reluctant acceptance? Confusion but general desire to understand? Or is it being thrown out of the house or threatened with violence?

Thank you. I have found some of this...a bit alarming. Statistics just don't support the sheer number of kids (mostly girls) that seem to be LGBTQ+ at my kids' school now. I'm a little puzzled by it. (I know this is off topic, sorry).

OP--I think you need to find out what "rejected" means, exactly. Like the PPs have said.

PP here. This is a hard topic, because there are transphobes whipping up fear of "sudden onset gender dysphoria" (not a real thing) and therefore it is very difficult to have a reasonable discussion on DCUM about the statistically improbably number of pre-teen and teen kids, mostly assigned female at birth, who currently identify as trans, genderqueer, nonbinary, or some other variation on gender non-conforming.

Then you add the kids who identify as cisgender but identify as som varient of queer (gay, bi, pan, poly, ace, demi, etc).

Even super accepting parents, and even LGBQ parents, can end up a little confuddled. It doesn't help that teens, developmentally, believe their generation personally invented every single human experience, and that no one born before them could possibly understand their struggle/identity.

News at 11: Teens are annoying and self-centered and not overly keen on learning from or acknowledging the experiences of their elders. Shocker!

Hahhaa, you are so right about teens! I recently made some statement about not quite understanding the new labels/categories/terms (because it's all been around forever, but not always with the same name) and got my head ripped off while being lectured. Sigh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to find out what "rejected" means in this case, preferably from the parents themselves.

I'm not trying to be flip or to minimize the pain of parents' nonacceptance. However, as a LGBTQ adult raising a LGBTQ kid (and a cishet kid), I can tell you that this generation is...excitable. Anything short of a personal pride parade is received as lack of acceptance.

So...figure out what "rejected" means here. Is it kind of reluctant acceptance? Confusion but general desire to understand? Or is it being thrown out of the house or threatened with violence?

Thank you. I have found some of this...a bit alarming. Statistics just don't support the sheer number of kids (mostly girls) that seem to be LGBTQ+ at my kids' school now. I'm a little puzzled by it. (I know this is off topic, sorry).

OP--I think you need to find out what "rejected" means, exactly. Like the PPs have said.

PP here. This is a hard topic, because there are transphobes whipping up fear of "sudden onset gender dysphoria" (not a real thing) and therefore it is very difficult to have a reasonable discussion on DCUM about the statistically improbably number of pre-teen and teen kids, mostly assigned female at birth, who currently identify as trans, genderqueer, nonbinary, or some other variation on gender non-conforming.

Then you add the kids who identify as cisgender but identify as som varient of queer (gay, bi, pan, poly, ace, demi, etc).

Even super accepting parents, and even LGBQ parents, can end up a little confuddled. It doesn't help that teens, developmentally, believe their generation personally invented every single human experience, and that no one born before them could possibly understand their struggle/identity.

News at 11: Teens are annoying and self-centered and not overly keen on learning from or acknowledging the experiences of their elders. Shocker!

Hmmm… I wonder why all these poor kids were arbitrarily assigned female at birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to find out what "rejected" means in this case, preferably from the parents themselves.

I'm not trying to be flip or to minimize the pain of parents' nonacceptance. However, as a LGBTQ adult raising a LGBTQ kid (and a cishet kid), I can tell you that this generation is...excitable. Anything short of a personal pride parade is received as lack of acceptance.

So...figure out what "rejected" means here. Is it kind of reluctant acceptance? Confusion but general desire to understand? Or is it being thrown out of the house or threatened with violence?

Thank you. I have found some of this...a bit alarming. Statistics just don't support the sheer number of kids (mostly girls) that seem to be LGBTQ+ at my kids' school now. I'm a little puzzled by it. (I know this is off topic, sorry).

OP--I think you need to find out what "rejected" means, exactly. Like the PPs have said.

. JK Rowling has been hauled over coals for talking about this - the sudden huge number of girls identifying as trans to boys seems unlikely to be biological dysmorphia from scientific evidence to date. She argues (I think but may have misread her) that girls see all the misogynistic messaging/ #metoo movement awareness of how wide spread sexual assaults against women and girls are, in addition to social media normalization of gender fluidity/ morphing, and want out of their gender. JK Rowling is questioning the wisdom of allowing irreversible gender surgery while youth are still growing and reports stats that many later regret their decision. Obviously, it will be the right decision for many but it is unlikely that so many trans youth are purely biological in origin, and this means they may change their mind after hormones and weird school social dynamics settle down.

There is ostracism of more traditional girly girls at our private and the slightest questioning of the wide spread trans explosion is met with decisions of trans and homo phobia.

In this instance, I can imagine Korean Christian families (which often seem like Asian versions of Leave it to Beaver US families from 50 years ago, may not be ready to culturally to accept this rather recent social tsunami of gender transitioning.

I think it is great you offered a safe haven - as long g as you are sure she is not safe at home. Maybe they just need time to adjust to her changing needs/ identity.

DP. But I will add (I’m sure to the chagrin of many here) that (assuming she is safe) if she is declaring herself trans and her parents are trying to set her straight (you know, parent her) then you need to stay the eff out of it.

[Anonymous]

Isnt there a gentler middle ground? Like letting teen sleep over any Time? helps her family save face. important in some cultures

[Anonymous]

How old are we talking? 19? Sure she can move in if she/you are on board. 13? No way. You can't take over parental responsibility fore someone's young teen without going through the courts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Troll.

Should you talk to the family first? Instead of what…all of a sudden having their teen live with you full time?

+1 / it’s a TEEN, by “not accepting” it might mean they raised eyebrows.

[Anonymous]

My parents are so lucky this stuff wasn't around when I was a teen.

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of permutations to this as others have said. The percentage of afab teens who are trans or non-binary is not small. The percentage of parents who are not accepting of medical and surgical intervention before adulthood is also not small.

I have a friend who is struggling to accept her two young adult children, both of whom transitioned without her consent or knowledge. I'm not here to debate that. The thing is, she can't even find a mental health professional who is willing to allow her to be critical of their decision.

The movement is very all-or-nothing.

If the OP's child's friend is caught up in that, the story may be more complicated. May involve finances, or health insurance, or just that age-old question: should my 15 year old be allowed to get a mastectomy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to find out what "rejected" means in this case, preferably from the parents themselves.

I'm not trying to be flip or to minimize the pain of parents' nonacceptance. However, as a LGBTQ adult raising a LGBTQ kid (and a cishet kid), I can tell you that this generation is...excitable. Anything short of a personal pride parade is received as lack of acceptance.

So...figure out what "rejected" means here. Is it kind of reluctant acceptance? Confusion but general desire to understand? Or is it being thrown out of the house or threatened with violence?

Truth. There is a gulf between tossing a kid out of the house and permitting your LGBTQ kid to engage in sexual activity and have "overnight guests" in your house.

For the record, I'm not allowing hetero sexual activity and "overnight guests" in my house either, but that somehow gets lost in the conversation.