How long do you give someone to pack their bags?

[Anonymous]

Week-No time

This is very helpful, thank you!

Does it matter if he has a mental disorder? This is her hangup. I'm more concerned about her safety if he's inviting random people over.

*DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder, is the disorder, I'm trying to be as transparent as possible so I can give the most helpful information. The drug incident was a whole other personality.

[Anonymous]

She should toss all of his stuff into black plastic trash bags and set it outside the door. Call a locksmith and change the locks, all a.s.s.p. He’s in FL, he can sleep in his car in a Walmart parking lot.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you want advice, you really need to take a few deep breaths and explain this situation more coherently. You've now written three posts/comments and they read like you're doing voice-to-text while hyperventilating.

[Anonymous]

If he's considered a tenant, he has legal protection from simply being thrown out. She needs to figure out if he qualifies where she lives. If he's been living there for months, he likely qualifies even without a formal lease. Now he may not go after her for an illegal eviction, but she needs to know what the law is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love me a good mystery novel. OP, please come back and write Chapter 2 because you gave me just enough in Chapter 1 to be interested without really understanding what is going on.

I'm sorry I'll give more context. My best friend(early 30s) is in her first serious relationship with a man that has taken her for the ride of a lifetime. Some of the few things he's done she's just disclosed to me, he's married(didn't know), HIV positive (didn't disclose, not using protection), and upon returning back from work found him engaging in intercourse(another man)* with illicit drugs.

She found out the first two when she showed up for him at the hospital, and his wife was there.

She gave him time to move out, get his life together before the third incident occurred.

Now she's reaching out to me for assistance with this slew of information. I've just seen her for the first time since the pandemic a few weeks ago and she has a lot of the physical signs of depression, it makes my heart break inside. I never knew this was going on, he works at a law firm, not a lawyer but a really smart, charismatic guy who had us ALL fooled.

Your friend has major issues herself and I really hope she has been tested for HIV. IV drug user and HIV+ boyfriend having sex with men. Yikes! Every major risk factor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love me a good mystery novel. OP, please come back and write Chapter 2 because you gave me just enough in Chapter 1 to be interested without really understanding what is going on.

I'm sorry I'll give more context. My best friend(early 30s) is in her first serious relationship with a man that has taken her for the ride of a lifetime. Some of the few things he's done she's just disclosed to me, he's married(didn't know), HIV positive (didn't disclose, not using protection), and upon returning back from work found him engaging in intercourse(another man)* with illicit drugs.

She found out the first two when she showed up for him at the hospital, and his wife was there.

She gave him time to move out, get his life together before the third incident occurred.

Now she's reaching out to me for assistance with this slew of information. I've just seen her for the first time since the pandemic a few weeks ago and she has a lot of the physical signs of depression, it makes my heart break inside. I never knew this was going on, he works at a law firm, not a lawyer but a really smart, charismatic guy who had us ALL fooled.

I am the mystery novel reader. Thank you for the additional context.

Here is what you should do:
1) Go to your friend's house
2) You pack the guy's stuff into garbage bags
3) Pay for a locksmith to change the locks and dump the bags on the curb
4) You call the guy and tell him that his stuff is on the curb and that the locks are changed. If he tries to enter the premises, you will call the police.
5) Have your friend stay with you a few days to get her mind off of things

You're a real good friend OP but you should not be a mystery novel author.

[Anonymous]

If a person is on a lease or a deed, you can't just kick them out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love me a good mystery novel. OP, please come back and write Chapter 2 because you gave me just enough in Chapter 1 to be interested without really understanding what is going on.

I'm sorry I'll give more context. My best friend(early 30s) is in her first serious relationship with a man that has taken her for the ride of a lifetime. Some of the few things he's done she's just disclosed to me, he's married(didn't know), HIV positive (didn't disclose, not using protection), and upon returning back from work found him engaging in intercourse(another man)* with illicit drugs.

She found out the first two when she showed up for him at the hospital, and his wife was there.

She gave him time to move out, get his life together before the third incident occurred.

Now she's reaching out to me for assistance with this slew of information. I've just seen her for the first time since the pandemic a few weeks ago and she has a lot of the physical signs of depression, it makes my heart break inside. I never knew this was going on, he works at a law firm, not a lawyer but a really smart, charismatic guy who had us ALL fooled.

Your friend has major issues herself and I really hope she has been tested for HIV. IV drug user and HIV+ boyfriend having sex with men. Yikes! Every major risk factor.

While I do see some self esteem issues here, he has only made them so much worst. He essentially mentally broke her, and it could've been a lot worst if she actually tested positive. Her sister tried helping, but he did what he does and got her to cut off all contact. He's some kind of psychopath.

So thank you for victim blaming here.

Maybe I shouldn't have used these words, but emotions are strong at the moment.

[Anonymous]

He's not on lease, or dead. But he does pay a small amount every month, so it is some kind of verbal agreement.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the wife is still in the picture if she was at the hospital - he can go back there.

[Anonymous]

Today is Friday. He has until Sunday at noon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today is Friday. He has until Sunday at noon.

Um, no. Bags on the curb this afternoon and change the locks. He can move back in with his wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's not on lease, or dead. But he does pay a small amount every month, so it is some kind of verbal agreement.

Let him fight it if he wants. She can sue him over the HIV exposure.

Why is she doing anything other than kicking him out right now?

[Anonymous]

Today and preferably within the hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Week-No time

This is very helpful, thank you!

Does it matter if he has a mental disorder? This is her hangup. I'm more concerned about her safety if he's inviting random people over.

*DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder, is the disorder, I'm trying to be as transparent as possible so I can give the most helpful information. The drug incident was a whole other personality.

BS. He doesn't have DID. He is just a jackass.

Pack his crap, put it on the curb, change the locks.