Sleeping in separate beds
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
I’m looking forward to this set up when we have a guest room. We both sleep more soundly apart. And like some private time. The intimacy can be in either bedroom. |
Anonymous
| Sleeping in separate beds may certainly be an outcome of marital issues. But on its own, there is no real reason why it would affect a marriage if people still have sex. There is nothing about laying unconscious to each other that keeps the marriage together. The idea is pretty ludicrous. Of course I’m sure there are associations, but that is because couples that decide to sleep in separate beds may not be getting along. But there are plenty of couples who do get along who happily sleep in separate beds. |
Anonymous
And that survey sample is only everyone YOU know. There was an extensive thread about this a few months ago on DCUM; the OP should look it up. Many, many posters said they sleep in separate bedrooms and have beter sleep and better sex lives, too, thanks to not being next to a partner who...snores, thrashes around, comes to bed later and wakes the light-sleeper spouse who goes to bed earlier, gets up early and wakes the spouse who doesn't need to get up yet, takes up too much of the bed, "runs hot" and makes the other spouse feel overheated, and so on and so on.... Plenty of reasons to have separate beds besides medical/old/breaking up. Your imagination is quite limited. Separate beds can save marriages, too. |
Anonymous
Same but just a few years so far. Married 10 years, we have sex a couple times a week. 3 little kids. I *love* my own space and my own room. DH sleeps like a rock. I’m restless and a light sleeper. We both prefer sleeping separately. So far so good! |
Anonymous
|
Married 15 years, we have been sleeping in separate beds for 10 years since the second was born and my wife decided to co-sleep. I am used to my own bed now.
Our sex life sucks, once a month on average. I am sure we would have more if we slept in the same bed it would be like 2x a month and I would be way more frustrated since at least I have privacy in the guest room 
Bottom line, the lack of sex isn't because of separate bed rooms but that doesn't help. |
Anonymous
| Trump and melania sleep in separate beds |
Anonymous
Separate rooms actually |
Anonymous
| 20 years of crappy sleep being afraid to move because of his chronic insomnia and crappy attitude when something wakes him….moved to a separate bed last year and it is soooooooooo nice. I love being able to actually get comfortable! |
Anonymous
| We play bed musical chairs. DH falls asleep with a kid, or I do, or a kid wakes up and gets in our bed and I get out to sleep better, or he stays up late working in the guest bedroom then falls asleep there. I don’t think it’s a big deal. We have a blissfully happy marriage. |
Anonymous
| Yes I have found that our bedroom is so dry it gives me sinus inflammation that cause migraines almost daily. Humidifiers don’t help because of the high ceiling. So I moved to a small room in the basement where the air is more humid and the humidifier works better. We are fine, I think! I’m a better wife and mom and all around person for having way fewer migraines. |
Anonymous
| We do. Finally just committed to it and now he has his own room. We still have sex -having teens home a lot means it’s not a ton, but it’s not the bedroom that causes this. I can’t deal with having sex while they are home and awake, no matter whose room we are in. |
Anonymous
| New home office in the bedroom! |
Anonymous
|
We discuss it occasionally due to DH’s snoring, which wakes me up, and me telling him to roll on his side, which wakes him up.
But we are both concerned that we would lose a level of intimacy even if we keep up to sex frequency. But it’s not out of the question down the road. We’ll see. Happily married 17 years. |
Anonymous
absolute silence, ear plugs and a sound machine? wow |
Anonymous
|
Yep -- my DH sleeps in a separate bed in the living room for the time being and I am so appreciative!
We have not slept all night in the same bed for almost 2 years. We have sex at least once or twice a week (even now while I'm 40 weeks pregnant!!). Here's why: I co-slept with my DS until he was 5 months. I was miserable. Trying to co-sleep and breastfeed and my baby just continuously nursed and pooped all night. Finally I reached the end of my rope and DH offered to co-sleep with baby until he goes into the room with his big sister. So I got to start getting full nights of sleep while DH managed the baby. Eventually this transitioned to having the two kids (they are 1.5 years apart so close in age) in their room together. However the young one would still often wake up once in the middle of the night and/or the kids would wake up super early. DH wakes up early anyway to start working on his computer by 6:30 so he basically took on night-time and morning wake-up time for the kids. Lucky me!! Yes I miss cuddling with DH to sleep, but he does all this so I can get better sleep. Once I got pregnant again we continued this because it made sense while I'm pregnant and need more rest - not to mention I literally make a pregnancy nest in my bed with 6+ pillows propping me up. DH enjoys sleeping in the living room, I think he gets to read news on his phone and stuff instead of me bugging him to turn it off so I can sleep I feel extremely lucky with this set-up. And, as far as sex goes, we tend to find a good convenient time to do it which I find more enjoyable than just at the end of the day when I'm tired and kind of want to zone out. Saturday afternoon nap times for example are the bomb |