Found out friend is separated - etiquette question

[Anonymous]

I've only had this come up once with a casual acquaintance I had to acknowledge it with (a neighbor with kids who are friends with my kids) and I just said "I'm not trying to intrude but I heard that you and Sebastian separated and just wanted to let you know we're here if you need us." She said thanks and that we had A LOT to talk about, but several years later we never did talk about it, and that's ok!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks all! I don’t know either person in the couple well, the person met my spouse at an event recently and subsequently texted them about it as an FYI. Turns out our younger children will be going to be starting kindergarten at the same elementary school, and I am sure we will see them at some point.

Wait, so this is an acquaintance, and not a friend?!

You say nothing.

+2 keep your trap shut they aren't your friend

[Anonymous]

OP here. Yes, an acquaintance, but their parents and my in-laws have been good friends for over 40 years, and we know this person's sister very well, so it feels like a bit more than that.

[Anonymous]

Say nothing. No one should say anything unless someone brings it up. You do not know how they feel about it. I literally cringed when people said “I’m sorry to hear about your divorce.” I was like: “why are you sorry? I’m not!”

Do not say anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Say nothing. No one should say anything unless someone brings it up. You do not know how they feel about it. I literally cringed when people said “I’m sorry to hear about your divorce.” I was like: “why are you sorry? I’m not!”

Do not say anything.

Lol that’s a good point! Probably a simple “It’s good to see you!” is ideal.

[Anonymous]

NP here except it’s my daughter’s good friend’s parents. The parents have said nothing but my daughter has told me a couple of times now that friend has said her parents are divorcing. I haven’t said anything yet.

[Anonymous]

Don’t say anything.

[Anonymous]

Let me guess, the daughter of your parents’ friends saw your husband someplace and then randomly texted him to say she was separated? I’d not be ok with this. I’d tell your husband to block her, you need to protect your marriage. If it comes up, tell your parents what happened.
You all might be friends in a couple years.. life is long. I wouldn’t “say anything” what exactly would you say, and who would you say it to? You aren’t the pool lifeguard who needs to “say something” to the kid that keeps running on the pool deck.
You do need to make sure your marriage remains healthy and shutting down nonsense like a chick texting your husband (not you, but your husband) is one way to keep your marriage good.

I’m assuming that your husband isn’t a Cub Scout leader and would have contact with her kid and this wasn’t said as “hey if Billy seems out of sorts, this is why”.
Even if it was, this sort of thing is best handled between same sex people mom to mom, dad to dad, or in a group chat.

Many friendships and romances start over sympathy and common interests. It’s way too easy for your husband to become closer then you’d like with this woman because “it’s only texting”. Trust me, you won’t want that. If she wants male comfort, she can find another guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, an acquaintance, but their parents and my in-laws have been good friends for over 40 years, and we know this person's sister very well, so it feels like a bit more than that.

No, it is not more than that. YOU DON’T KNOW THEM. Mind your business and they will imply or state the situation if they care to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess, the daughter of your parents’ friends saw your husband someplace and then randomly texted him to say she was separated? I’d not be ok with this. I’d tell your husband to block her, you need to protect your marriage. If it comes up, tell your parents what happened.
You all might be friends in a couple years.. life is long. I wouldn’t “say anything” what exactly would you say, and who would you say it to? You aren’t the pool lifeguard who needs to “say something” to the kid that keeps running on the pool deck.
You do need to make sure your marriage remains healthy and shutting down nonsense like a chick texting your husband (not you, but your husband) is one way to keep your marriage good.

I’m assuming that your husband isn’t a Cub Scout leader and would have contact with her kid and this wasn’t said as “hey if Billy seems out of sorts, this is why”.
Even if it was, this sort of thing is best handled between same sex people mom to mom, dad to dad, or in a group chat.

Many friendships and romances start over sympathy and common interests. It’s way too easy for your husband to become closer then you’d like with this woman because “it’s only texting”. Trust me, you won’t want that. If she wants male comfort, she can find another guy.

This is a family friend of her DH's. You are insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks all! I don’t know either person in the couple well, the person met my spouse at an event recently and subsequently texted them about it as an FYI. Turns out our younger children will be going to be starting kindergarten at the same elementary school, and I am sure we will see them at some point.

Wait, so this is an acquaintance, and not a friend?!

You say nothing.

+2 keep your trap shut they aren't your friend

After my divorce, someone I know from work and always got along with but was not close to really tried pushing the "How are you? How's your family?" conversation. I know they meant well so am not upset but it was not a conversation I was interested in having.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here except it’s my daughter’s good friend’s parents. The parents have said nothing but my daughter has told me a couple of times now that friend has said her parents are divorcing. I haven’t said anything yet.

You do not need to say anything? Why would you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, an acquaintance, but their parents and my in-laws have been good friends for over 40 years, and we know this person's sister very well, so it feels like a bit more than that.

No, it is not more. Whether it is a friend or an acquaintance no one should comment. It is not your business. There is nothing to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say nothing. No one should say anything unless someone brings it up. You do not know how they feel about it. I literally cringed when people said “I’m sorry to hear about your divorce.” I was like: “why are you sorry? I’m not!”

Do not say anything.

Lol that’s a good point! Probably a simple “It’s good to see you!” is ideal.

Yes. This. Especially if they didn't tell you about and haven't posted something publicly. It is awkward to acknowledge since you obviously heard through gossip. I would leave alone

[Anonymous]

It depends on every person, every friendship.

My best friend, we just straight up ask each other, what happened? Now, anyone less than her, it would just be, "how are you?"