Why are my kids so mean to each other?

[Anonymous]

Why no they have to like each other? Just because you decided to have 3 kids and had visions of them as besties doesn't mean that's how it has to go.

Set ground rules and consequences for respect ie no hitting or name calling
Let them have time to themselves and things that are just theirs

Don't always force them to go to siblings events let them chill at home sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why no they have to like each other? Just because you decided to have 3 kids and had visions of them as besties doesn't mean that's how it has to go.

Set ground rules and consequences for respect ie no hitting or name calling
Let them have time to themselves and things that are just theirs

Don't always force them to go to siblings events let them chill at home sometimes.

What a sad way to look at family. This is how you get kids who don't like each other. I don't understand families like this. That's like saying your kids don't have to like you or like their grandparents. I didn't have a family so we could all merely tolerate each other. Family comes first, forever, and no you don't have to be best friends but siblings love each other and support each other.

[Anonymous]

Mormon siblings like each other. Catholic siblings like each other. It comes down to parenting and family culture. My kids like each other because we don't tolerate anything else.

[Anonymous]

I also have 3 kids, but the youngest is 2.5 and too young to fight/compete with the other 2. My older two fight sometimes, but definitely get along more and are in each other’s corners (ALWAYS). I don’t know if it will change since they are still young (6 and 8), but the only thing I can think of is that I punish both when they fight. I don’t care who is right and who is wrong. Occasionally, (if one hurts the other for example) I will ask the “aggressor” to apologize to the “victims”… but usually they are both somewhat guilty.

My kids also really like to play together… maybe because we don’t do too many play dates?
Maybe it will all change in a few years, but so far, my kids are definitely each other’s rocks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also have 3 kids, but the youngest is 2.5 and too young to fight/compete with the other 2. My older two fight sometimes, but definitely get along more and are in each other’s corners (ALWAYS). I don’t know if it will change since they are still young (6 and 8), but the only thing I can think of is that I punish both when they fight. I don’t care who is right and who is wrong. Occasionally, (if one hurts the other for example) I will ask the “aggressor” to apologize to the “victims”… but usually they are both somewhat guilty.

My kids also really like to play together… maybe because we don’t do too many play dates?
Maybe it will all change in a few years, but so far, my kids are definitely each other’s rocks

Anecdotally when talking to people who are close with their siblings the most common thing I've heard (from parents who were successful at raising close siblings) is that the parents made the kids work it out amongst themselves and didn't get involved. Removes the parent are referee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also have 3 kids, but the youngest is 2.5 and too young to fight/compete with the other 2. My older two fight sometimes, but definitely get along more and are in each other’s corners (ALWAYS). I don’t know if it will change since they are still young (6 and 8), but the only thing I can think of is that I punish both when they fight. I don’t care who is right and who is wrong. Occasionally, (if one hurts the other for example) I will ask the “aggressor” to apologize to the “victims”… but usually they are both somewhat guilty.

My kids also really like to play together… maybe because we don’t do too many play dates?
Maybe it will all change in a few years, but so far, my kids are definitely each other’s rocks

Also, I would not tolerate one sibling being happy for the other’s failures. This never happened to me or my kids and I can’t imagine why that would be. I don’t think this is the case with strangers either.

I am happy if I win, but not because the other person lost.. this is weird and shows a lack of empathy in my opinion…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have 3 kids, but the youngest is 2.5 and too young to fight/compete with the other 2. My older two fight sometimes, but definitely get along more and are in each other’s corners (ALWAYS). I don’t know if it will change since they are still young (6 and 8), but the only thing I can think of is that I punish both when they fight. I don’t care who is right and who is wrong. Occasionally, (if one hurts the other for example) I will ask the “aggressor” to apologize to the “victims”… but usually they are both somewhat guilty.

My kids also really like to play together… maybe because we don’t do too many play dates?
Maybe it will all change in a few years, but so far, my kids are definitely each other’s rocks

Also, I would not tolerate one sibling being happy for the other’s failures. This never happened to me or my kids and I can’t imagine why that would be. I don’t think this is the case with strangers either.

I am happy if I win, but not because the other person lost.. this is weird and shows a lack of empathy in my opinion…

PP- this is what I mean about family culture, which you are 100% in control of. I would lose my mind on my kids if I heard them taking enjoyment in ANYONE'S failure, much less a family member. This is what OP needs to nip in the bud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have 3 kids, but the youngest is 2.5 and too young to fight/compete with the other 2. My older two fight sometimes, but definitely get along more and are in each other’s corners (ALWAYS). I don’t know if it will change since they are still young (6 and 8), but the only thing I can think of is that I punish both when they fight. I don’t care who is right and who is wrong. Occasionally, (if one hurts the other for example) I will ask the “aggressor” to apologize to the “victims”… but usually they are both somewhat guilty.

My kids also really like to play together… maybe because we don’t do too many play dates?
Maybe it will all change in a few years, but so far, my kids are definitely each other’s rocks

Anecdotally when talking to people who are close with their siblings the most common thing I've heard (from parents who were successful at raising close siblings) is that the parents made the kids work it out amongst themselves and didn't get involved. Removes the parent are referee.

I think this is a good point and this is mostly what I do. If they can’t agree on a movie, they don’t watch tv… I intervene only when it gets physical (very very rarely).

I would think that parents of 3 kids don’t really have time or want to discuss every little fight (I know I don’t).

I remember when my middle kid was 2 or so she would get very upset at us when we were reprimanding her older sibling. She always defended her sister no matter what and they still defend each other among their friends or at the playground…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mormon siblings like each other. Catholic siblings like each other. It comes down to parenting and family culture. My kids like each other because we don't tolerate anything else.

This is such Bullshit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have 3 kids, but the youngest is 2.5 and too young to fight/compete with the other 2. My older two fight sometimes, but definitely get along more and are in each other’s corners (ALWAYS). I don’t know if it will change since they are still young (6 and 8), but the only thing I can think of is that I punish both when they fight. I don’t care who is right and who is wrong. Occasionally, (if one hurts the other for example) I will ask the “aggressor” to apologize to the “victims”… but usually they are both somewhat guilty.

My kids also really like to play together… maybe because we don’t do too many play dates?
Maybe it will all change in a few years, but so far, my kids are definitely each other’s rocks

Also, I would not tolerate one sibling being happy for the other’s failures. This never happened to me or my kids and I can’t imagine why that would be. I don’t think this is the case with strangers either.

I am happy if I win, but not because the other person lost.. this is weird and shows a lack of empathy in my opinion…

It's probably because OP forces too much togetherness. Or The one kid is the favorite or an ahole and the other kids know it the parents ignore it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have 3 kids, but the youngest is 2.5 and too young to fight/compete with the other 2. My older two fight sometimes, but definitely get along more and are in each other’s corners (ALWAYS). I don’t know if it will change since they are still young (6 and 8), but the only thing I can think of is that I punish both when they fight. I don’t care who is right and who is wrong. Occasionally, (if one hurts the other for example) I will ask the “aggressor” to apologize to the “victims”… but usually they are both somewhat guilty.

My kids also really like to play together… maybe because we don’t do too many play dates?
Maybe it will all change in a few years, but so far, my kids are definitely each other’s rocks

Anecdotally when talking to people who are close with their siblings the most common thing I've heard (from parents who were successful at raising close siblings) is that the parents made the kids work it out amongst themselves and didn't get involved. Removes the parent are referee.

I think this is a good point and this is mostly what I do. If they can’t agree on a movie, they don’t watch tv… I intervene only when it gets physical (very very rarely).

I would think that parents of 3 kids don’t really have time or want to discuss every little fight (I know I don’t).

I remember when my middle kid was 2 or so she would get very upset at us when we were reprimanding her older sibling. She always defended her sister no matter what and they still defend each other among their friends or at the playground…

This is also bullshit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have 3 kids, but the youngest is 2.5 and too young to fight/compete with the other 2. My older two fight sometimes, but definitely get along more and are in each other’s corners (ALWAYS). I don’t know if it will change since they are still young (6 and 8), but the only thing I can think of is that I punish both when they fight. I don’t care who is right and who is wrong. Occasionally, (if one hurts the other for example) I will ask the “aggressor” to apologize to the “victims”… but usually they are both somewhat guilty.

My kids also really like to play together… maybe because we don’t do too many play dates?
Maybe it will all change in a few years, but so far, my kids are definitely each other’s rocks

Anecdotally when talking to people who are close with their siblings the most common thing I've heard (from parents who were successful at raising close siblings) is that the parents made the kids work it out amongst themselves and didn't get involved. Removes the parent are referee.

It;s not the parents it's the siblings. Different people have different personalities. Some mesh and some don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have 3 kids, but the youngest is 2.5 and too young to fight/compete with the other 2. My older two fight sometimes, but definitely get along more and are in each other’s corners (ALWAYS). I don’t know if it will change since they are still young (6 and 8), but the only thing I can think of is that I punish both when they fight. I don’t care who is right and who is wrong. Occasionally, (if one hurts the other for example) I will ask the “aggressor” to apologize to the “victims”… but usually they are both somewhat guilty.

My kids also really like to play together… maybe because we don’t do too many play dates?
Maybe it will all change in a few years, but so far, my kids are definitely each other’s rocks

Anecdotally when talking to people who are close with their siblings the most common thing I've heard (from parents who were successful at raising close siblings) is that the parents made the kids work it out amongst themselves and didn't get involved. Removes the parent are referee.

Anextodatlly when talking to people who don't get along with their siblings the most common thing I've heard from the kids ( now adults0 is that their parents didn't intervene when they should have, or half-assed it they was alot of these posters are suggesting group punishments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why no they have to like each other? Just because you decided to have 3 kids and had visions of them as besties doesn't mean that's how it has to go.

Set ground rules and consequences for respect ie no hitting or name calling
Let them have time to themselves and things that are just theirs

Don't always force them to go to siblings events let them chill at home sometimes.

What a sad way to look at family. This is how you get kids who don't like each other. I don't understand families like this. That's like saying your kids don't have to like you or like their grandparents. I didn't have a family so we could all merely tolerate each other. Family comes first, forever, and no you don't have to be best friends but siblings love each other and support each other.

They don't. My kids don't have to like Me. Your kids don't have to like you or their grandparents either or their siblings. They do have to be respectful and treat each other with respect. That's just reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why no they have to like each other? Just because you decided to have 3 kids and had visions of them as besties doesn't mean that's how it has to go.

Set ground rules and consequences for respect ie no hitting or name calling
Let them have time to themselves and things that are just theirs

Don't always force them to go to siblings events let them chill at home sometimes.

What a sad way to look at family. This is how you get kids who don't like each other. I don't understand families like this. That's like saying your kids don't have to like you or like their grandparents. I didn't have a family so we could all merely tolerate each other. Family comes first, forever, and no you don't have to be best friends but siblings love each other and support each other.

What a condescending twat you are. Guess what they don't have to like you are each other ! I love my family, but as adults my parents and my siblings have some pretty disgusting beliefs. We aren't close because of that and I don't particularly like them.