Trans kids in HS

[Anonymous]

I live in San Francisco and DD just finished high school. I can only think of four kids she knew who were trans. Wait. Three were trans, and one girl just woke up one day and decided she wanted to be called a different name - think Carrie instead of Tania, or Jessica instead of Allison. Out of those four kids, two were at her middle school, and none were at her high school (lottery system for public school here).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trendy? JFC how dense can you be. I have more than one friend with a trans kids (and they were trans prior to the current debates). Both are in college or working now but went through HS as trans.

Yes, there are a few that I am aware of at our HS noq and, while I'm sure there are the usual a-holes, for most kids it's a non-issue.

+1 This past year, I had 3 kids in a large FCPS HS (one just graduated). Between my 3 kids, I know of only 1 trans kid but it's not common knowledge. Kids have come out as gay/bisexual/pansexual and many are putting their preferred pronouns known but none of indicated prounouns other than the binary ones.

While this area is a bubble of general acceptance, these kids still face a lot of disrespect in school when they come out. I've not seen any indication of it being 'trendy'.

It's absolutely trendy. Just check out Tik Tok.

[Anonymous]

Teenagers have always gone through shifting identity stages. Don't you all remember your emo/punk/hippie/goth/whatever stage?? For many of these kids, it's a stage and will pass. For some, it's the start of a lifelong identity and being accepting and encouraging now can be life changing for those individuals. It may be confusing and new to you, but it does not hurt anyone to respect their preferences. If you slip up and call them the wrong thing, no big deal, just say "oops, I'm trying!" and try to remember for next time. Nobody expects perfection, but showing that you respect them enough to make an effort is incredibly affirming for any teen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teenagers have always gone through shifting identity stages. Don't you all remember your emo/punk/hippie/goth/whatever stage?? For many of these kids, it's a stage and will pass. For some, it's the start of a lifelong identity and being accepting and encouraging now can be life changing for those individuals. It may be confusing and new to you, but it does not hurt anyone to respect their preferences. If you slip up and call them the wrong thing, no big deal, just say "oops, I'm trying!" and try to remember for next time. Nobody expects perfection, but showing that you respect them enough to make an effort is incredibly affirming for any teen.

Are you serious?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a teenaged family member that came out as a lesbian and then as non-binary. They changed their name from a female name to a male name, waited a year and made it a legal name change through the courts.

All they have asked of us is to call them by their new name and use they/them instead of gendered pronouns, so that is what we do.

I don't have to understand it to respect my loved one enough to call them by their chosen name and use the correct pronouns.

This is what it comes down to. I get not understanding, being confused, even thinking it's odd. But, that doesn't really matter. Be respectful. Kind. Compassionate. They are not asking anything other than to be treated in that manner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of the dads in our neighborhood is trans and also works for HRC. He posted this on social media and it really resonates with me.

"I’m here to remind you all that the trans and queer kids are not the problem. The only trend right now is that young folks understand life is better in color and rigidity around gender and sexuality actually does a number on us all. The kids aren’t the problem. The world isn’t ending. Maybe it’s just beginning. Loosen up y’all. Happy Pride. 🏳️‍⚧️🌈🏳️‍⚧️🌈🏳️‍⚧️"

My DH and I decided that if our kids want to change pronouns or names we will go with it. There is no harm in calling them whatever they want to be called. Conversely, not being accepting a trans kid can be catastrophic.

There's a big difference than just calling someone by a different name/pronoun vs adults helping kids take steps to physically alter themselves. I believe you can support the person, but it's important to wait to do anything irreversible/medically physically until they've grown out of puberty.

To answer OP--I'm not sure how many students at my kids' high school would consider themselves trans, but there is definitely a big uptick in girls falling into the "change my name and pronouns and dress in an androgynous way" and/or non-binary category. Don't see the same thing happening with male peers though.

[Anonymous]

Large, urban, majority low-income district. I would estimate about 1% of students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no HS kids and no friends who have HS kids, how “common” is it that kids in HS are asking to be called other names/pronouns than they were assigned at birth? Not getting political, and please keep ignorant comments to yourself, I’m genuinely curious about statistics or just personal experience.

It’s a part of life. Get used to it. They are kids just like your kids. Your kid will likely be A-OK with it. No biggie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no HS kids and no friends who have HS kids, how “common” is it that kids in HS are asking to be called other names/pronouns than they were assigned at birth? Not getting political, and please keep ignorant comments to yourself, I’m genuinely curious about statistics or just personal experience.

One of my daughter's close friends calls themselves "nonbinary" and "genderqueer" and prefers neutral pronouns, but as far as I can tell, they're completely, totally cis-gendered and heterosexual, and are basically in it for the attention. That said, it's not going to kill me to go along with it. My daughter also briefly "dated" a girl who later transitioned (I guess DD wasn't as bisexual as she thought! :lol.

Anecdotal, but that's more than I encountered when I was in high school - or ever, for that matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the dads in our neighborhood is trans and also works for HRC. He posted this on social media and it really resonates with me.

"I’m here to remind you all that the trans and queer kids are not the problem. The only trend right now is that young folks understand life is better in color and rigidity around gender and sexuality actually does a number on us all. The kids aren’t the problem. The world isn’t ending. Maybe it’s just beginning. Loosen up y’all. Happy Pride. 🏳️‍⚧️🌈🏳️‍⚧️🌈🏳️‍⚧️"

My DH and I decided that if our kids want to change pronouns or names we will go with it. There is no harm in calling them whatever they want to be called. Conversely, not being accepting a trans kid can be catastrophic.

There's a big difference than just calling someone by a different name/pronoun vs adults helping kids take steps to physically alter themselves. I believe you can support the person, but it's important to wait to do anything irreversible/medically physically until they've grown out of puberty.

To answer OP--I'm not sure how many students at my kids' high school would consider themselves trans, but there is definitely a big uptick in girls falling into the "change my name and pronouns and dress in an androgynous way" and/or non-binary category. Don't see the same thing happening with male peers though.

I know a significant number of tween/teens who currently identify as trans (or at least not cis) and I only know one family who took the steps of starting hormonal therapy. And that was after years of therapy starting at age 7 or 8. No doctor will prescribe meds or even talk about surgery for teens/tweens unless there is a significant history of therapy.

[Anonymous]

Not to deflect further but isn't there a thing referred to a 'furries' trending right now.....

[Anonymous]

OP - we have 2 family friends that have DC who are requesting different pronouns than they were attributed at birth. None of the kids in our MS but we are in a Catholic school. My guess is that there are 1 or 2 who are exploring this from recent visual changes to hair/clothes, but maybe not. Certainly don't ask. There has been no request to friends yet to change pronouns. One has been at the same school as my DC since preschool. My kids don't care.

[Anonymous]

The outrage by adults at other adults at not fully accepting that a child can just choose their gender and shall not be questioned or given room to go back gets pretty tiresome. Let’s get real. Kids and teens do things for attention or to belong. Not all of the kids in the current trans wave will stay trans. I’m not saying that’s good or bad, or saying anyone specifically is not “really trans.” It’s ok to point out that normal teenage tendencies also apply here. We do not have to play along with the emperor’s new clothes to a ridiculous degree. The woke police’s insistence that we ignore the desire to belong/get noticed when it comes to this stuff, when it so obviously plays a role in most teenage behavior, is absurd. We can exist in reality while being respectful. It’s not necessary to pretend that a large percentage of the population is trans. That’s simply not the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s extremely common in my kid’s middle school - 5 or 6 kids in the rising 8th grade and 6 in the rising 7th have changed their pronouns and/or names. My kid and I will call them what they want to be called of course, but I do not expect that all of them (nearly 10% of each class) will keep these changes permanently, but that’s their choice. Doesn’t hurt or affect me at all. My kid is supportive of their friends.

And yes, it is all girls in this school.

Bull s… It’s a fad and like hula hoops something else will come along that is trendy and they will gravitate to it. They are too young to know what’s going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teenagers have always gone through shifting identity stages. Don't you all remember your emo/punk/hippie/goth/whatever stage?? For many of these kids, it's a stage and will pass. For some, it's the start of a lifelong identity and being accepting and encouraging now can be life changing for those individuals. It may be confusing and new to you, but it does not hurt anyone to respect their preferences. If you slip up and call them the wrong thing, no big deal, just say "oops, I'm trying!" and try to remember for next time. Nobody expects perfection, but showing that you respect them enough to make an effort is incredibly affirming for any teen.

Are you serious?

What?