Feeling down

[Anonymous]

My younger brother growing up all through high school played for the same D-2 travel team. He did not even tryout for high school team. Senior year he started working out and kept it up through his freshman year of college. Decided to go to an open tryout at his college. Not only made the team but after a year on and learning the team he became the team leader his Jr. year and ended his college career making the playoffs. Some of his buds that played highs school never touched a college field. Children bloom at different ages. Some kids at 12-14 age group are big and aggressive. By the time they hit 16 it starts to even out. Keep pushing you child to be the best at whatever they do.

[Anonymous]

#ustoo on watching your hardworking DC not advance in soccer and feeling bad about it. But agree so many important life lessons and skills taught through these experiences. Sometimes I think we as parents are taking it harder than our DC!

[Anonymous]

My DD is the exact same, and same age group. She is not very aggressive at all and would be the last person on the field to run another player down. However, she LOVES her not super competitive team and has a great time playing in practice and games. She never wants to miss. The kids are well matched skill wise (among team members) and the parents thankfully have a good sense of where the girls are. We make it fun for them, schedule activities and try to make soccer about being active and camaraderie.

I say this because sports is about so much more than the high levels of competition. Know where your kid is and cater to that skill level. Put him on the right team. We never considered an academy/travel team for DD because that is not a good fit for her, and it is a decision that served her well.

By contrast, our DS is hyper competitive and aggressive and he needs high levels of competition.

Your kid sounds like he can still have a great time playing soccer in the right environment. If he can continue to stay in shape and keep his body moving, it will definitely serve him through his disability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With aggression/lack of contact issues, I found that playing other sports really, really helped with that. For some reason my son wasn't aggressive in soccer. 50/50 balls were more like 90/10 balls to the other team. He didn't challenge for bouncing balls, punts, etc. Trapping the ball with his chest or heading the ball was not even considered. I found that basketball helped alot for some reason. We found him trying to rebound against others, scrapping for loose balls, etc. Flag football helped alot too. Just having to close down on kids and pull flags, run routes across the middle with kids flying around, defend passes, etc. But what probably helped (and continues to help) the most is getting stronger by lifting weights/body weight exercises. Lifting weights builds strength and confidence. Baby steps. What some people don't understand is that some kids have irrational fear and it's not like it's their choice to be non aggressive. You have to gradually expose them to it. My kid is so much better now but still has a way to go.

Or just be a younger brother (to older brother(s))

[Anonymous]

Just my opinion, but aggressiveness is the most overrated quality in the age range your son is in (I have older boys). The skills are generally not yet refined enough to move the ball quickly, so the kids that go in hard and play the body have success winning the ball and making plays. As they get older, there is physical play, but the ball moves quicker, and I think players learn to handle it better and not get bullied off the ball.

I was at a u19 game recently and the center mid - who wasn’t aggressive, not physical, but a solid athlete absolutely dominated the game (not my kid, lol). Terrific at scanning the field, finding pockets of space to work in, taking a couple of touches and setting up his teammates and getting through on goal...And worked hard defensively to win the ball, step in front of passes, etc.

[Anonymous]

I love this thread! We need more of this. <3

[Anonymous]

I love that your child has fun with his team and getting exercise! This is the whole point of having your child in club soccer.

I feel like you've won the soccer lottery but you don't see it that way. You don't have to be the most aggressive kid or on the top team to have fun with soccer, and I can tell you many of the kids on our child's team do not seem to be having very much fun right now and I am sure they would much rather be in our child's shoes.

It sounds like you're feeling down, not your child right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, U12 absolutely sucks for an athletic players who isn't aggressive. There are too many players packed on too small a field. U13 will get better when things open up. The big kids who were 'good' players because they could push their way down the field will be sucking wind half the game

Not OP but thank you for this. We saw this in the transition to a 9v9 field for the littles too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love that your child has fun with his team and getting exercise! This is the whole point of having your child in club soccer.

I feel like you've won the soccer lottery but you don't see it that way. You don't have to be the most aggressive kid or on the top team to have fun with soccer, and I can tell you many of the kids on our child's team do not seem to be having very much fun right now and I am sure they would much rather be in our child's shoes.

It sounds like you're feeling down, not your child right?

OP said this numerous times

Title: Feeling down

test: "I just feel bad.."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love that your child has fun with his team and getting exercise! This is the whole point of having your child in club soccer.

I feel like you've won the soccer lottery but you don't see it that way. You don't have to be the most aggressive kid or on the top team to have fun with soccer, and I can tell you many of the kids on our child's team do not seem to be having very much fun right now and I am sure they would much rather be in our child's shoes.

It sounds like you're feeling down, not your child right?

OP said this numerous times

Title: Feeling down

test: "I just feel bad.."

*text*

[Anonymous]

I posted earlier. This is a great post. U12 boys is insane on the small field. They make one mistake on defense, and it is a goal. We watched an 11 v 11 high school JV game last night. What a difference the big field makes. The smaller skilled players were dominating at midfield. I think we all need patience, which is maybe the hardest thing for me as a parent

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you're feeling down, not your child right?

He's also feeling down because he went to a tryout with a friend and the friend got an invite back to practice with a team, but he did not (yet, it is still possible that he may). I don't know how much of it has to do with the issue regarding his disability, which we learned about the same day, vs. soccer.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. It's been a rough year for a lot of kids and parents and I'm sure the news of the adaptive device was upsetting. It really does cheer me up that you use the word "fun" in one of your posts and if you look back on that post I'm sure it will cheer you up too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It sounds like you're feeling down, not your child right?

He's also feeling down because he went to a tryout with a friend and the friend got an invite back to practice with a team, but he did not (yet, it is still possible that he may). I don't know how much of it has to do with the issue regarding his disability, which we learned about the same day, vs. soccer.

The call backs may be related to the position your child plays or how your child plays relative to the other players on the team. It's just may be that team has a weakness in a certain position and it's not something you or your child can control. DC's coach had kept one spot open looking for a certain type of magical player that the team needed. Lots of good players that tried out in the fall and more in the spring who didn't make it because they didn't fit that exact specification.

You could ask for a second tryout if you don't think your child performed as well as he usually does.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you're feeling down, not your child right?


He's also feeling down because he went to a tryout with a friend and the friend got an invite back to practice with a team, but he did not (yet, it is still possible that he may). I don't know how much of it has to do with the issue regarding his disability, which we learned about the same day, vs. soccer.


The call backs may be related to the position your child plays or how your child plays relative to the other players on the team. It's just may be that team has a weakness in a certain position and it's not something you or your child can control. DC's coach had kept one spot open looking for a certain type of magical player that the team needed. Lots of good players that tried out in the fall and more in the spring who didn't make it because they didn't fit that exact specification.

You could ask for a second tryout if you don't think your child performed as well as he usually does.

Thank you. I think he performed as well as he usually does. He's a defender and his friend is a forward player, but I also think he friend is a bit better than him (which is ok). It did seem to cheer him up to go to his own practice afterwards and see other friends, so perhaps it will work out for the best.