finding your tribe - older moms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi there! My kids are older now, but this is what I did. I don’t think it mattered that I was in my mid 40’s. The moms I hit it off with we’re not necessarily my age, and it didn’t matter. 1. The local moms group, like, “Vienna Moms.” This is a thing, they set you up with a playgroup. 2. Preschool moms. 3. Moms at the elementary school bus stop (this is a big one). 4. Girl Scouts. Or Boy scouts. 5. Avoid the PTA Moms (parent teachers association=pain in ass). Those can be the cliquey moms, in my experience. Good luck! It takes time to find a few durable friends.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't discriminate or dismiss people based on age, but I am old enough to be a mom to someone who is 30 I just want to connect with those who are going through a similar life stage from my own generation. It's not the most typical life path that I am on timing wise, so I'd love to have peers in my circle.

We are aligned. What neighborhood are you in?

[Anonymous]

What are you hoping to get out of these friendships? Is there anyone else you already know, maybe even just on facebook etc., who is in a similar situation to you? That might be more fun, just for chatting. If you're looking for socialization for your toddler, it's honestly just kind of hard right now bc of covid. You might try going on nextdoor and a local moms fb group and asking if anyone wants to hang out (masked, outdoors, whatever).

[Anonymous]

TBH I have found it harder to connect with moms that don't also work full time than with moms of a different age. Nothing wrong with being a SAHM but our day-to-day lives are so different that I find it hard to make a real connection.

[Anonymous]

I'm not Indigenous, so I do not have a tribe. Please be more considerate with your language OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't discriminate or dismiss people based on age, but I am old enough to be a mom to someone who is 30 I just want to connect with those who are going through a similar life stage from my own generation. It's not the most typical life path that I am on timing wise, so I'd love to have peers in my circle.

You just acknowledged that your situation is not common, so why continue searching for a very small group of women? Also, I have friends who are old enough to be my mom (although if you're mid to late 40's you're really pushing it to say you could have a 30-year-old...) but I'm still able to be friends with them. If you want friends from your generation, you may have to concede that they won't have kids as young as yours.

[Anonymous]

Befriend younger moms. You don't want to get into some social group of old moms complaining about being old and ignored by the young moms. Young moms are fun. I was sort of in the middle. The young moms always wanted to go to the pool and the super old moms always wanted to drink while their nannies cooked for the kids. It was nice to have a mix.

[Anonymous]

I am 43 and my youngest is 4. I don’t find it difficult connecting with younger moms. My oldest is now 12. When he was in preschool, I befriended an older mom who I later learned adopted her child. She was probably mid 40s back then so definitely in her mid 50s now. I remember the mom I liked most was a decade older than me. She was a pediatrician from the UK and just really thoughtful. At the end of the day, I don’t think it matters if you are 2 years apart or 15 years apart.

Most of my friends are in their mid-late 30s while I am 43. I don’t feel that much of a difference. I’m a SAHM after holding some senior roles. I meet moms who are just starting out, never got started, trying to move up the working world or stopped working in various stages of their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not Indigenous, so I do not have a tribe. Please be more considerate with your language OP.

I'd like to understand which group of ppl I offended, so I can properly apologize. Do you feel it's inconsiderate to you by implying you're indigenous? Or it's inconsiderate towards indigenous people by implying that a non-indigenous group could be called a tribe? Below is Merriam Webster definition, for what it's worth.

tribe
1:
a: a social group comprising numerous families, clans, or generations together with slaves, dependents, or adopted strangers
b: a political division of the Roman people originally representing one of the three original tribes of ancient Rome
2:
a group of persons having a common character, occupation, or interest

[Anonymous]

Op, are you on Facebook? There are different moms groups. Try searching in your neighborhood or for common interests. It is really hard to find friends as we get older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not Indigenous, so I do not have a tribe. Please be more considerate with your language OP.

I'd like to understand which group of ppl I offended, so I can properly apologize. Do you feel it's inconsiderate to you by implying you're indigenous? Or it's inconsiderate towards indigenous people by implying that a non-indigenous group could be called a tribe? Below is Merriam Webster definition, for what it's worth.

tribe
1:
a: a social group comprising numerous families, clans, or generations together with slaves, dependents, or adopted strangers
b: a political division of the Roman people originally representing one of the three original tribes of ancient Rome
2:
a group of persons having a common character, occupation, or interest

A simple google search will give you the answer to your question. In fact, you could have done that instead of looking up a dictionary definition just so that you could dig your heals in unnecessarily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not Indigenous, so I do not have a tribe. Please be more considerate with your language OP.

I'd like to understand which group of ppl I offended, so I can properly apologize. Do you feel it's inconsiderate to you by implying you're indigenous? Or it's inconsiderate towards indigenous people by implying that a non-indigenous group could be called a tribe? Below is Merriam Webster definition, for what it's worth.

tribe
1:
a: a social group comprising numerous families, clans, or generations together with slaves, dependents, or adopted strangers
b: a political division of the Roman people originally representing one of the three original tribes of ancient Rome
2:
a group of persons having a common character, occupation, or interest

A simple google search will give you the answer to your question. In fact, you could have done that instead of looking up a dictionary definition just so that you could dig your heals in unnecessarily.

OP this could help: https://elitriercommunities.com/blog/reconsider-tribe-business-community

[Anonymous]

OP, I never found my gaggle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I never found my gaggle.

And now Im 52 with a 14 year old and just dont care anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not Indigenous, so I do not have a tribe. Please be more considerate with your language OP.

Hey, I cringed when I read it too but I didn’t feel like she needed to be taken to task.

OP it’s a culturally sensitive word and comes off as being ignorant to Indigenous society structure- which matters. We’ve eradicated too much already and need not appropriate that word too. It’s long past time to return the word tribe to tribal nations.

Please don’t use that word anymore in this context. Group works fine.