Far From Family - Priced out from returning

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need a SFH or TH? Why not a condo? Something has yo compromised, and space is easy.

We lived in a condo till kids were 7, we know the compromise of that. Financially it’s a terrible decision b/C fees grow out of control. Hence why we want to protect our long term with a few simple property.

So the problem isn’t that you can’t afford to move back it’s that you can’t tolerate the necessary sacrifices to do so. This is just the flip side of people who move away from their rust belt towns because the well-paying jobs are gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need a SFH or TH? Why not a condo? Something has yo compromised, and space is easy.

We lived in a condo till kids were 7, we know the compromise of that. Financially it’s a terrible decision b/C fees grow out of control. Hence why we want to protect our long term with a few simple property.

So the problem isn’t that you can’t afford to move back it’s that you can’t tolerate the necessary sacrifices to do so. This is just the flip side of people who move away from their rust belt towns because the well-paying jobs are gone.

Except people can leave, work for 10 years, and then retire with a hobby job in a rust belt town. Tons of people are returning to Buffalo and Pittsburgh now, and have been for decades. I have 5 friends I can list right now.

I am happy with a tiny house on a 4000 sq ft plot of land, I just know the structure of condo ownership attracts HOA bad seeds, and maintenance on a large building compounds long term costs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I don't actually think that many people are moving back. I'm not. My friends are not.

I was born on the Peninsula, where my parents and extended family still live. All but one of my childhood friends have moved away; the remaining one lived with her spouse and 2 kids in her mom's basement until a couple years ago (we are both 40). None of my cousins still live there. My parents' friends are starting to move away to live near their adult kids and their grandkids in places like OR, CO, PA, and NY. I've given up trying to persuade my parents to move east but they are starting to be in the minority among their friends.

A few years ago DH and I looked hard at moving back to CA. I really, really wanted to make it work. We looked at living with my parents, living in a condo, living hours away, etc. We both would have had to change careers, we would have had to put kids in private school, we likely would not have had a yard ... it just didn't make sense and the quality of life would have been so drastically worse than what we have now. My parents have what, 10 to 15 years left in life, if we're lucky? And then when they pass, we will be stuck in an expensive uncomfortable housing situation (assuming fire didn't take everything) and subpar career situation, with no savings.

Also, if you have not been back to visit much, consider that the Bay Area you remember doesn't really exist anymore. The people, culture, traffic, demographics, etc. are very different. The BA of my childhood definitely is gone. Places change.

Also from the Bay Area, and this has been my experience as well. My mom and siblings have moved away. Most of my friends have, too. Even though I still have family there--my parents both grew up there, so I have lots of extended family there--I don't really have any desire to move back there. It's a really different vibe now that the tech stuff has taken over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Bay Area is somewhat unique because the old adage "drive until you qualify" doesn't really apply. The suburbs are also insanely expensive.

That said, people need to accept that there's such a thing as luxury areas, where "normal" people can't afford to live, at all. It's not just Manhattan or Beverly Hills. There are many parts of America that normal families just cannot reasonably expect to move to. As someone who grew up in a midsized PacNW city this has always been obvious to me, but for some reason, it's a really bitter pill for many other people in my age range (I'm mid 30s with kids).

Sure but you can have a nice life within 2 hrs of Manhattan in White Plains or Jersey for a reasonable amount, even LA had some modestly priced neighborhoods compared to BH.

You can have a nice life 2 hours from the "Bay Area" too.

So where are places with good jobs, affordable housing and good schools 2 hours from BA?? Maybe Sacramento?

Following, we are on the market in the Bay Area!

Can we circle back to this, I would like to hear more.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I can't afford to live near either of our parents, either. It is kind of sad.

It's something to think about for your own kids, too. Maybe reconsider living in an area that your kids can't also live in unless they make huge sacrifices.

[Anonymous]

Have you looked at Oakland OP? It’s having a bit of Renaissance. Lots of good restaurants, parks are cleaned up, and housing still very affordable. You probably end up paying for private school, but Catholic is super cheap around here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Bay Area is somewhat unique because the old adage "drive until you qualify" doesn't really apply. The suburbs are also insanely expensive.

That said, people need to accept that there's such a thing as luxury areas, where "normal" people can't afford to live, at all. It's not just Manhattan or Beverly Hills. There are many parts of America that normal families just cannot reasonably expect to move to. As someone who grew up in a midsized PacNW city this has always been obvious to me, but for some reason, it's a really bitter pill for many other people in my age range (I'm mid 30s with kids).

Sure but you can have a nice life within 2 hrs of Manhattan in White Plains or Jersey for a reasonable amount, even LA had some modestly priced neighborhoods compared to BH.

You can have a nice life 2 hours from the "Bay Area" too.

So where are places with good jobs, affordable housing and good schools 2 hours from BA?? Maybe Sacramento?

Following, we are on the market in the Bay Area!

Can we circle back to this, I would like to hear more.

You have a very narrow definition of a “nice life” if you can’t figure this out on your own. And you probably do which is why you’re complaining about this in the first place.

[Anonymous]

I’m from Vancouver, Canada and can’t afford to move home. I hate living in the US. So much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Bay Area is somewhat unique because the old adage "drive until you qualify" doesn't really apply. The suburbs are also insanely expensive.

That said, people need to accept that there's such a thing as luxury areas, where "normal" people can't afford to live, at all. It's not just Manhattan or Beverly Hills. There are many parts of America that normal families just cannot reasonably expect to move to. As someone who grew up in a midsized PacNW city this has always been obvious to me, but for some reason, it's a really bitter pill for many other people in my age range (I'm mid 30s with kids).

Sure but you can have a nice life within 2 hrs of Manhattan in White Plains or Jersey for a reasonable amount, even LA had some modestly priced neighborhoods compared to BH.

You can have a nice life 2 hours from the "Bay Area" too.

So where are places with good jobs, affordable housing and good schools 2 hours from BA?? Maybe Sacramento?

Following, we are on the market in the Bay Area!

Can we circle back to this, I would like to hear more.

You have a very narrow definition of a “nice life” if you can’t figure this out on your own. And you probably do which is why you’re complaining about this in the first place.

Budget $900k for SFH, safe, with good schools. Is that too narrow?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you looked at Oakland OP? It’s having a bit of Renaissance. Lots of good restaurants, parks are cleaned up, and housing still very affordable. You probably end up paying for private school, but Catholic is super cheap around here.

Agreed Oakland is great and the school lottery means you don’t have to just live in Montclair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Bay Area is somewhat unique because the old adage "drive until you qualify" doesn't really apply. The suburbs are also insanely expensive.

That said, people need to accept that there's such a thing as luxury areas, where "normal" people can't afford to live, at all. It's not just Manhattan or Beverly Hills. There are many parts of America that normal families just cannot reasonably expect to move to. As someone who grew up in a midsized PacNW city this has always been obvious to me, but for some reason, it's a really bitter pill for many other people in my age range (I'm mid 30s with kids).

Sure but you can have a nice life within 2 hrs of Manhattan in White Plains or Jersey for a reasonable amount, even LA had some modestly priced neighborhoods compared to BH.

You can have a nice life 2 hours from the "Bay Area" too.

So where are places with good jobs, affordable housing and good schools 2 hours from BA?? Maybe Sacramento?

Following, we are on the market in the Bay Area!

Can we circle back to this, I would like to hear more.

You have a very narrow definition of a “nice life” if you can’t figure this out on your own. And you probably do which is why you’re complaining about this in the first place.

Budget $900k for SFH, safe, with good schools. Is that too narrow?

Davis, CA. Or San Rafael / Novato similar areas north of SF. But whether it's a nice life depends on your commute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you looked at Oakland OP? It’s having a bit of Renaissance. Lots of good restaurants, parks are cleaned up, and housing still very affordable. You probably end up paying for private school, but Catholic is super cheap around here.

DH and I live both in DC and San Francisco, and Oakland is the new hotspot. All the young folks are moving there now. If anyone is seriously interested, I think you should jump on real estate there now because it is certainly going to go up.

And with everyone supposedly moving out of the Bay Area, real estate is INSANE here - bidding wars all over the place. We bought a place a few months ago in the city and got lucky with a very motivated seller who had already moved to southern California. Before we got our place, we lost a very small place that sold for $300K over list. A friend of ours also just bought a place for over $300 above list. And forget financing or other contingencies - no offer is even considered that isn't all cash.

Smaller places in California are growing a lot as well because a lot of those who are leaving cities like LA and San Francisco are moving to smaller towns in CA. We spent a few days in Paso Robles and locals there were telling us real estate was booming there too because lots of city folks moving there now.

I have to say though, after spending 20 years in DC, the lifestlye in CA is amazing. For all of its warts, you just can't beat the culture, nature, food, wine, etc. here. We love it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Bay Area is somewhat unique because the old adage "drive until you qualify" doesn't really apply. The suburbs are also insanely expensive.

That said, people need to accept that there's such a thing as luxury areas, where "normal" people can't afford to live, at all. It's not just Manhattan or Beverly Hills. There are many parts of America that normal families just cannot reasonably expect to move to. As someone who grew up in a midsized PacNW city this has always been obvious to me, but for some reason, it's a really bitter pill for many other people in my age range (I'm mid 30s with kids).

Sure but you can have a nice life within 2 hrs of Manhattan in White Plains or Jersey for a reasonable amount, even LA had some modestly priced neighborhoods compared to BH.

You can have a nice life 2 hours from the "Bay Area" too.

So where are places with good jobs, affordable housing and good schools 2 hours from BA?? Maybe Sacramento?

Following, we are on the market in the Bay Area!

Can we circle back to this, I would like to hear more.

You have a very narrow definition of a “nice life” if you can’t figure this out on your own. And you probably do which is why you’re complaining about this in the first place.

Budget $900k for SFH, safe, with good schools. Is that too narrow?

Davis, CA. Or San Rafael / Novato similar areas north of SF. But whether it's a nice life depends on your commute.

Is Davis considered part of Bay Area? I thought the schools San Rafael were having issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Bay Area is somewhat unique because the old adage "drive until you qualify" doesn't really apply. The suburbs are also insanely expensive.

That said, people need to accept that there's such a thing as luxury areas, where "normal" people can't afford to live, at all. It's not just Manhattan or Beverly Hills. There are many parts of America that normal families just cannot reasonably expect to move to. As someone who grew up in a midsized PacNW city this has always been obvious to me, but for some reason, it's a really bitter pill for many other people in my age range (I'm mid 30s with kids).

Sure but you can have a nice life within 2 hrs of Manhattan in White Plains or Jersey for a reasonable amount, even LA had some modestly priced neighborhoods compared to BH.

You can have a nice life 2 hours from the "Bay Area" too.

So where are places with good jobs, affordable housing and good schools 2 hours from BA?? Maybe Sacramento?

Following, we are on the market in the Bay Area!

Can we circle back to this, I would like to hear more.

You have a very narrow definition of a “nice life” if you can’t figure this out on your own. And you probably do which is why you’re complaining about this in the first place.

Budget $900k for SFH, safe, with good schools. Is that too narrow?

Davis, CA. Or San Rafael / Novato similar areas north of SF. But whether it's a nice life depends on your commute.

Is Davis considered part of Bay Area? I thought the schools San Rafael were having issues.

No, Davis is not part of the Bay Area. The question was a nice life within 2 hours of the Bay Area.

I can't speak to San Rafael schools except to say that part of why I chose not to move my family back to the Bay Area was the difficulty in finding good public schools and the expense of paying for private on top of housing costs. I think you need to have a plan for what to do if your local public isn't working out.

[Anonymous]

I made it work by not having too many kids and being ok with living in an apartment