Heartbreak over loss of dream home

[Anonymous]

Just to share, we lost what I thought was our dream house in 2013. The house went $150,000 over asking and was above our ideal budget to begin with.

It ended up a blessing in disguise because we ended up with a larger house, amazing back yard and amazing location for significantly less, and we got lucky bc we were the first bid in at asking price and they accepted it. FWIW, we had an inspection and it didn’t catch the mold and a bunch of other things, so we ended up having to sink more money in the house than we had anticipated, but that’s home ownership for you.

I’m confident you’ll find the right home that’s even more suited for you than the one you lost.

[Anonymous]

Not sure if this story helps but...

When I was pregnant with our second we put in an offer on what I thought was our "dream house." We were certain it was as good as we could ever possibly get in the area we wanted. We lost out in a bidding war and I was devastated. I would drive past the house and cry. Literally.

We decided to give it time. 18 months later, our financial circumstances had gotten slightly better, the market changed a bit, and another family had to move out of town unexpectedly. We bought a different house two blocks over that is SIGNIFICANTLY better than what I thought was our "dream house." We have been here three years and DH and I occasionally drive past our original "dream house" and have a nice chuckle.

[Anonymous]

You’ll survive OP. We have a baby and a 4 year old in a 2 bedroom apartment. We can’t win a house despite our best efforts. Trust me, it’s much more difficult with older kids in small spaces than infants. You don’t have to find a house before you have your baby. They are mobile and travel to open houses well. 4 year olds however are another story.

[Anonymous]

I mean this in the best possible way - if you call this a "heartbreak", you'll have no words left when someone close to you dies. Losing a house that was never yours is not a heartbreak for the sane. It's an inconvenience, a minor frutsration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. I’ve been there, pregnant and all, and you know what? An even dreamier home showed up a year later

So keep up your spirits!

A year???

[Anonymous]

A better one awaits, hang in there

[Anonymous]

Clearly the house was not priced $200k over what it was “worth” since you and at least one other person were willing to pay that plus another $80k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clearly the house was not priced $200k over what it was “worth” since you and at least one other person were willing to pay that plus another $80k.

+1, People get too emotional about these decisions. It's "worth" what it sold for, not what you imagine it's worth.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get your point about being “ready to get our life started”. Your life doesn’t start when you buy a house, it already started! Why not try being happy for whoever got the house.

[Anonymous]

This has happened to so many people, and a huge percentage of them will tell you: thank god they lost out on that house, because they eventually ended up in their actual dream home. Someday you’ll be sitting in your awesome new house thinking the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get your point about being “ready to get our life started”. Your life doesn’t start when you buy a house, it already started! Why not try being happy for whoever got the house.

She’s pregnant, she’s probably in the nesting phase...give her a break.

[Anonymous]

Another angle to the stories other pp’s have posted - we “won” our “dream “” house in a bidding war; however, over the next year several other houses came on the market in our neighborhood that I liked better than our house 😂. No regrets but is a reminder there is always another great house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get your point about being “ready to get our life started”. Your life doesn’t start when you buy a house, it already started! Why not try being happy for whoever got the house.

She’s pregnant, she’s probably in the nesting phase...give her a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get your point about being “ready to get our life started”. Your life doesn’t start when you buy a house, it already started! Why not try being happy for whoever got the house.

She’s pregnant, she’s probably in the nesting phase...give her a break.

Yep. I rolled my eyes at this, but just hoped it was pregnancy hormones. If she’s this dramatic when not pregnant, then she’s in for a long life.

What most first time parents don’t get is that it’s going to be a while before the baby uses that cute nursery you spent so much time setting up.

[Anonymous]

It’s going to be ok. Just be patient. Try to not get lost in this crazy market. Have a long term view. I know you are pregnant and you are in a hurry but try to stay centered.
We lost many houses back in the early 2000s, we panicked and we ended up compromising on a lot of issues: location, inspection, cost of the house.
It has been a convenient house and it has appreciated a lot. I’m grateful. However, it has never felt like our dream house and I think with patience we could have found something better for us.
Be patient, you’ll get your dream house. Take care.