Can you tell me about a time when you screwed up and your child got hurt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did you forgive yourself?

My 2 yo DD had an accident this morning and fell and hurt her head because I was not watching carefully enough (I turned my back only for a matter of seconds to attend to my other child). We went straight to the ER, and they checked her out and she’s probably going to be fine, but I can’t stop hating myself for my negligence.

Please don’t berate me, I know I screwed up badly. I’ve never had something like this happen before. I was alone with my two children and overwhelmed and distracted.

OP, today is the 13th... not a lucky day.

So sorry that this happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure you screwed up.

I was overly cautious to the point of absurdity and that actually f'ed up my child's procioceptive and gross motor development, I'm sure.

None of us reaches sainthood as moms.

+1 my child has anxiety issues and I think it’s in part due to my overprotectiveness when he was young. So, op, there’s no perfect path. More important is how you help them cope through it and how you handle it. You beat yourself up all the time over small stuff and you will end up with a kid who beats them self up too much too.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP. We all have those moments. DC was still just a few months old and in readjusting her in my arms my engagement ring had twisted on my finger and scratched his little head. Didn't leave a scar but in the moment there was a tiny bit of blood and he cried. Took that ring off and didn't wear it for months. My daughter was probably 5months old and in her carseat snapped into the running stroller. I let go of it to adjust my shoe and it tipped over somehow. She was strapped in but I raced to the doctor and to be sure they sent us to the ER for an x-ray. Zero damage but I was completely traumatized.

Both kids are happy and healthy but my point is both that none of us are perfect and also that kids are resilient and strong. Give yourself some grace.

[Anonymous]

I had the baby in a stroller about five feet from the top of a short flight of stairs at the playground. I forgot to lock it when I went to help my older kids. The wind blew it right down the stairs! Luckily she was strapped in and the hood was down so she didn’t actually contact the ground, she was just hanging there in the straps, but it freaked us all out.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who says they never let themselves get distracted while their toddler was in a shopping cart is lying. Your child happened to fall, but you were not doing anything terrible. Give yourself some love.

[Anonymous]

I jokingly called my 3 year old daughter a "little monkey" and she made goofy noises and jumped around before heading into another room. I didn't follow her, which I should have because she was pretty wound up. Trying to imitate a money, she climbed a bookcase and fell off a top shelf, breaking an arm. She told the doctor it was because she was trying to make me laugh by being a monkey. I felt horrible. She's fine now. Stuff happens, we do our best. Please forgive yourself and approach her healing with all the positive energy you can muster.

[Anonymous]

Ds was a little over a year and I didn't realize he was behind me when I was going into another room. I was shutting the door and the sudden movement made him fall back and reach out. Except his hand got squeezed on the hinge of the door. Nothing broken but pinky nail turned purple and fell off.


It happens. You can't keep your kid in a bubble. Accidents will happen, kids will get hurt. It's just part of life.

[Anonymous]

Oh good lord OP. You're going to screw up your kids if you hate yourself because one of them fell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh good lord OP. You're going to screw up your kids if you hate yourself because one of them fell.

Op here. But it was my fault for leaving her in the shopping cart and turning my back, it’s not like she just tripped or something.

Neither of my kids have ever been seriously hurt before. It helps to hear I’m not the only one who has made a mistake like this before.

[Anonymous]

OP, I totally understand why you feel bad and can’t shake it. But truly, it happens to everyone and you need to give yourself a break. Just yesterday, one of my teens made a mess by tossing a cereal box in the air, and the other teen joked, “it’s because of that time mom dropped you on your head when you were a baby!” (I had set him on the middle of bed when he was maybe 3 weeks old, nowhere near rolling over, and somehow while I was changing clothes he fell off the bed onto the wood floor, landing on his head) He’s fine (except for the stupidity with cereal boxes), but I still remember how I felt in that moment. Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry OP. Go easy on yourself. When my second son was 2, we were at a small indoor pool at a hotel. We were the only family there. My husband had my older son in his arms and my 2 yr old was standing on the wide steps. I was out of the pool and turned my back for one second to try to locate some towels. I turned back and my son was sinking in the shallow end. It haunted me for about 6 months but now he’s 4 and I don’t think about it. So sorry that happened to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have all had those experiences. My oldest child rolled off the bed when she was 6 months old. My youngest child fell off a chair when he was 2 and broke his finger. Both of those accidents may have been preventable if I had been paying better attention -- but we're all human and things happen. Don't beat yourself up.

My 5 month old rolled off the bed and hit the floor. I felt terrible but I never put him on the bed again without holding onto him.

[Anonymous]

My two-week old rolled off the couch - literally from the very back - in ONE MINUTE while I ran to the kitchen to grab his bottle. My DH was so happy that it happened on my watch first and not his. To this day, I have no idea how he could have done that; it was even angled back.

When he was 3 he was on the playground and I was talking with a friend when he fell and sliced open his knee. He has a big-ish scar and I still feel a bit guilty when I see it. He's 17.

[Anonymous]

My DS needs a life altering surgery next year. Wasn’t identified when younger when could possibly have been avoided. A mother’s guilt never goes away, even if people say “bad luck; you did your best; not your fault; you didn’t know”.

[Anonymous]

I opened a car door on my son’s face and split his chin open.

Husband was playing with daughter, bounced on our bed just “right” and sent her flying off the bed. She landed just “right” and broke her arm badly, two surgeries to repair.